“He broke my mother’s heart,” I said. “I don’t see a happy reunion.”
“I wonder, though,” Trapper said. “He might have carried a torch for her like I did for Brandi all those years we were apart.”
“Stranger things have happened,” Garth said.
“You guys didn’t see her face when she told me about what had happened. That’s the kind of heartbreak that stays with you forever.”
The next morning, I was up early making bacon when I heard a knock on the back door. I opened it to see Jack Vargas standing on the back porch carrying a bag from Brandi’s bakery.
“Hey there,” I said. “Come on in. I just made coffee.”
“I brought scones.” He stepped inside and shrugged out of his jacket. “It’s cold this morning. I feel another snowfall coming.”
“That’s what the forecast says,” I said.
“Everything’s going fine down at the shop. I thought I’d come by and let Brandi know.”
“She’s still asleep as far as I know.”
He sat at the island. “Do you think Brandi will mind that Susan’s doing so well? My daughter’s poured her heart and soul into that place.”
"Yes, but she's about to give her heart and soul to the baby. The bakery will seem less important.”
“True enough. Brandi changed my life. She was all I cared about. That's for sure."
"Did you ever regret having Brandi so young?”
“Absolutely not. Even though Malinda and I couldn’t make it work, we gave Brandi a stable home, and that's all that really mattered in the end."
"I would have liked to have a father." Why had I said that? I hadn’t meant to reveal something so personal.
“Did you ever meet him?" Jack asked. "Forgive me. It’s none of my business, but I've always wondered."
"No, my mother didn’t know him. One of those ‘passing through’ kind of things. He never knew about me.” Embarrassed and slightly defensive, I flushed with heat. It felt like a betrayal to my mother to tell him that. I’d already filled in the missing pieces. A young girl, brokenhearted after her high school sweetheart got someone else pregnant, sought comfort from a stranger, which resulted in me. Could it be that Jack Vargas was my father? I quickly dismissed the idea. For one thing, Brandi was old than me. The timing wouldn’t add up.
“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”
“It was fine. My mom was enough. She’s got the energy of two people.”
“I remember. She was a force.”
Then why did you do what you did? I thought. Horrible Malinda instead of my phenomenal mother? What was he thinking? “She’s here in town for a visit. Did Brandi mention it to you?”
One eyebrow shot up as he turned toward me. “No. She never comes here.”
Interesting. He knew that? Did he know it was because of him?
“She called out of the blue and asked if she could come out.” I thought about whether or not to tell him the story of her breakup with Romeo but decided against it. I didn’t want him to know she’d been dumped for someone else. Again.
“Did she ever tell you we dated in high school?” The corners of Jack’s eyes crinkled as he smiled.
“Just last night, actually.” My voice hardened. “She said you broke her heart.”
Bless him, he had the decency to look embarrassed. “I know I did. We had big plans. I ruined them.”
Shocked by his confession, I blurted out, “Then why did you do what you did?”
Jack dipped his chin before looking back up at me. “Not my finest hour. It was a mistake, after too many beers at a bonfire. Just that one night. That one mistake cost me the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
Only woman he ever loved? Was he serious? Could it be possible that he’d loved her as much as she loved him? “She didn’t visit here because of you and Malinda.”
His eyes reddened. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“She didn’t want to run into you.”
He flinched as if I’d smacked him. “I can understand why. I hurt her—turned her love into hate.”
Not hate, I thought. Just a hurt so big that it kept her away from the place where she’d grown up.
“She loved it here,” Jack said.
“I always thought the opposite,” I said.
“I wondered why she never visited.” He touched the spot on his hand where his wedding band must have been not so very long ago. “I always figured I’d feel it in my bones if she came home. Maybe I was right. I had a dream about her last night.”
Did that mean something? Had God had a hand in this? A small ray of hope lit my heart. “She’s had a recent breakup. That’s why she wanted to come see me.”
He scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Was he?
“I got Brandi out of my mistake, so I can’t wish it all away, but the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt your mother. It’s one of my biggest regrets. I have a lot of them, unfortunately. My carelessness caused so much pain. To all of us, really.”
I softened, touched by his obvious remorse. “You were young. No one makes the best decisions at eighteen.”
"You're kind. I don't deserve it, but thank you.”
"Everyone deserves forgiveness, especially from themselves." Like me? I’d killed the baby growing inside me with my selfishness. The miscarriage had been my fault. I hadn’t been able to forgive myself yet for begging God to kill me, too, after I lost Patrick. I hadn’t yet known I was pregnant. My grief killed my own baby. I knew it as well as I’d ever known anything.
Jack leaned his backside against the island and folded his arms over his chest. "Do you think your mother would have a drink with me? I’d love a chance to tell her in person how sorry I am for what I did."
I chose my words carefully. The last thing I wanted was to betray my mother's trust. However, this man before me was so clearly decent. I’d known him as a loving father to Brandi. Now, more than ever, I understood he’d sacrificed his own happiness for his daughter’s sake. There was a stability about him, too, like a hundred-year-old oak. My willowy mother, more like a tender aspen, needed an oak. What would have happened if they’d been able to stay together? The answer was too strange to truly contemplate because neither Brandi nor I would be here.
“I’m not sure if she’d want to have a drink or not, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”
“It could hurt,” Jack said wryly. “If she says no.”
“An apology would help her, I think. You can do that over the phone if she refuses to see you.”
“That’s all I want.” He gripped one hand around his opposite wrist. “After I wrote to her and told her what I did, I never heard from her again. I’ve thought about that a lot over the years. The silence and what it said. I believe it would’ve helped her to be able to lash out at me. Instead, she ran away to suffer alone. I’d like to give her the opportunity to unleash some of that anger.”
“Would you like her number?”
He didn’t answer, other than to hand me his phone.
9
Garth
I woke in Trapper’s office confused about where I was for a moment. A second later, it all came rushing back to me. I groaned softly, wondering what to do first. As if in answer, my leg and ribs throbbed. Pain medicine would be first. The sofa bed creaked as I reached for the prescription Tylenol bottle. I popped one in my mouth, followed by a drink from the glass Crystal had left by the bed. For a few minutes, I lay there, trying to muster up the energy to get out of bed. Finally, I gingerly reached for my crutches and managed to hoist myself onto my one good leg.
Between the pain and the poor mattress, I’d had a terrible night. My eyes felt scratchy, and my head ached. After hobbling over to the bathroom, I leaned heavily against the sink and inspected myself in the mirror. I looked as bad as I felt. Bloodshot eyes, greasy hair, and the three-day stubble made me look like I’d been on a bender. I wanted a shower in the worst way. However, th
e doctor had been very clear that I was not to get my cast wet. The hospital had sent me home with a cast cover for the shower. Still, I didn’t see how I was supposed to stand in the shower with crutches for support. If only it were summer, I could have had Trapper simply hose me down in the backyard.
I looked longingly at the shower. I’d have to settle for a sponge bath and a shave.
Crystal had brought my toiletries down from the guest bathroom upstairs. Using my crutches for support, I lathered my face and shaved as best I could. I cut myself twice and cursed both times. My foul mood grew worse by the minute. I used a washcloth to wipe myself down, but I was pretty sure I stunk. Not to mention my hair, which was matted down on one side of my head like a kindergartner before his mother got to him with the brush. I combed it and slicked it back from my forehead, then brushed my teeth. By the time this was all done, I wished I could go back to bed.
Using my crutches, I clomped into the kitchen. The smell of coffee and bacon improved my mood considerably. As did the sight of Crystal standing by the island with Jack Vargas.
“Good morning,” Crystal said, a little too chirpy. I’d interrupted a conversation between them that had seemed serious. What was that about?
“Morning,” I said. “Jack, good to see you.”
“You too. Sorry to hear about your accident.” He gave me a sympathetic smile. “I’m glad it wasn’t worse.”
“Me too.” Right now, I couldn’t imagine feeling worse.
Crystal drew nearer, inspecting me with the eyes of a caretaker. “Did you sleep?”
“Not much. I feel awful.”
“Did you take anything for the pain?” Crystal asked.
I nodded, then moved over to stand next to the island. “It hasn’t kicked in yet.”
“It said online that you’re supposed to get ahead of the pain,” Crystal said. “I’ll help you with that today.”
I mumbled a thanks and then scooted onto one of the kitchen table chairs.
“Can I get you coffee?” Crystal asked. “I’ve got bacon and can fry you up a few eggs. Jack brought scones from the bakery.”
“Sounds like heaven,” I said. “I’m in a foul mood.”
“No one can blame you for that,” Jack said. “I broke my leg one time and it was a real pain to shower. My wife had to help. Neither of us enjoyed that.”
“How did she help?” I asked, curious. “Because I could use a shower in the worst way.”
“I sat in the tub on a stool with my broken leg covered in the plastic thing,” Jack said. “Did they give you one of those?”
“Yeah.”
“Then my wife scrubbed me up,” Jack said. “Harder than she had to.”
Crystal handed me a cup of coffee with a spoonful of cream, just the way I liked it. I took a grateful sip.
“Jack, do you want some eggs?” Crystal asked.
“I couldn’t impose that way,” Jack said.
“Nonsense. I’m making some for Garth anyway.” She pointed at the table. “Sit. I’ll get you coffee. Cream. One teaspoon of sugar, right?”
“You have a good memory,” Jack said.
“I never forget what people eat or drink but, in this case,, that’s exactly how I have my coffee,” Crystal said. “Making it easy to recall.”
“I’d love another cup.” Jack came to sit with me at the table. “I had one at the bakery this morning while I was waiting for them to package up the scones.”
Trapper came into the kitchen. His hair was damp, and I caught a hint of his shaving cream. Who would have thought I’d feel jealous over a good shower?
“Hey Jack, what’re you doing here so early?” Trapper asked.
“I came by to check on you guys. Is Brandi awake?”
“Yes, and freshly showered, which improved her mood considerably.”
“Must be nice,” I said under my breath.
Crystal brought a mug of coffee over to Jack. “Trapper, what do you want for breakfast?”
Trapper opened the bakery bag. “I can’t stay. I’m meeting someone from the city for the rink inspection. I’ll just take a scone with me. Oh, good, there’s a lemon one. I love those.” He pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket. “Jack, I’ll text Brandi that you’re coming up in a few.”
The ice rink had been lost in the fire. Trapper had decided to resurrect it. His dream, as a former professional hockey player, was to create a training program for kids to come from all over the world. Now that it was almost completed, he would be able to get started on building his program. He’d also had an outdoor rink built for recreational purposes. Inspired by the stories of the first residents of Emerson Pass and their infamous skating parties, anyone would be able to skate for free.
Scone in hand, Trapper headed out the back door.
“Jack, how do you like your eggs?” Crystal asked.
“Any way you like to cook them,” Jack said.
After Jack left, Crystal fixed her attention on me. “Are you feeling any better?”
“Your breakfast helped.”
She took my empty plate to the sink and rinsed it before returning to the table. “Jack asked for my mother’s number. He wants to take her for a drink. To apologize for what happened.”
“Do you think she’ll agree to it?”
“I’m not sure. I just don’t want her hurt. This could open a lot of old wounds. On the other hand, an apology might provide healing.”
“I hope she’ll be all right, either way.”
“Do you want me to help you take a shower?”
I blinked. “That’s a switch of subject.”
“I know you want one. I’m the perfect person to do it since I’ve seen…all of you.”
“I do feel really gross.” I’d have to keep control of myself or the bath would be even more embarrassing.
She brushed the palms of her hands over the front of the apron she always wore when in the kitchen. “Let’s do it.”
“Now?”
“No time like the present. Don’t tell me you’re suddenly shy after all the nights we’ve spent together.” Crystal grinned.
“You’re enjoying this a little too much.”
Her face turned a little more sympathetic. “Don’t worry. I’ll let you scrub your boy parts.”
“You’re not funny.”
She laughed. “Come on, let’s get it over with.”
Crystal prepared things in the bathroom while I changed from my sweats and T-shirt into my birthday suit, covered by a terry cloth robe. Our plan was for me to sit in the bottom of the tub and use the handheld shower to rinse me off.
“I’m ready for you,” Crystal called to me from the bathroom.
I trudged toward her with my stupid crutches under my arms. When I arrived, she had the cast’s sleeve in her hands.
“Sit on the toilet there and I’ll cover it up.”
I did as instructed, feeling worse about myself by the minute. She gingerly placed it over my foot. “Here, I can pull it up,” I said, only too aware of my unwashed junk.
Once I had the plastic case over the cast, the suction cup sealed around my skin.
“Turn around,” I said.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before.”
“Not all shriveled up like this.”
She laughed and turned around. “I won’t hold it against you.”
I shrugged out of the bathrobe, worried I smelled. “All right, I guess I’m ready.” I stood, using the crutches.
“Here, set one aside,” she said. “Give your weight to me on the other side and we’ll get you in there.”
“Fine.” I leaned on her as I stepped into the tub with my unbroken leg followed by the one in the cast. She then hung on to me as I lowered onto the bottom of the tub.
“Damn, that hurts.” I winced from the dart of pain coming from my ribs.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
By the time I was seated, she was panting from the strain.
“Are you all rig
ht?” I asked.
“Sure. You’re heavier than you look, though.”
“Great, thanks.”
Crystal took the crutch from me and put it beside its mate. I sat there naked in the tub, feeling like a little boy.
She frowned as she picked up the handheld showerhead and turned the spigot to let the water flow through. Water spurted out, hitting her in the face. She let out a scream of surprise.
“I think I can do this myself,” I said. “Now that I’m in here.”
“No, I’m fine.” She turned the water on me.
“There’s nothing wrong with my hands.” I covered my face as the spray assaulted my hair.
“Good.” She turned the spigot off and poured a bit of shampoo into my hand. It smelled like flowers.
“This is girl shampoo.”
“Scrub it up or I will.”
It felt great to lather up my hair. When I was done, I closed my eyes and let her rinse my head. Even though I was perfectly capable of doing it myself, I wasn’t going to turn her away. Not when she was kneeling on the floor of the bathroom, all her attention on me.
She poured some kind of liquid soap that smelled of citrus into the sponge and then used it to wash my back and arms and chest. As she scrubbed, I watched her. Pink-cheeked and breathing heavily from the effort, it didn’t take much of an imagination to think of our other antics.
“What?” Crystal pushed a stray hair behind her ear.
“You’re pretty.”
She rinsed the sponge and me, then added more soap. “Here, you can do your boy parts.”
“Thank God.” I took the sponge from her outstretched hand. “Turn around. I can’t have you watching me.”
She laughed again but obliged by getting to her feet and turning toward the door.
By the time I was done, I felt like a new person.
“Can you help me out of here?” I asked.
“We got you in here, right?”
“I’m afraid you’re going to hurt yourself,” I said.
She handed me one of the crutches before kneeling to wedge her shoulder under my armpit. Between the two of us, we managed to get me to my feet. It wasn’t pretty, but success came just the same. Then she helped me into my robe and assisted me out of the tub.
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