“When Child Protective Services gave me over to my aunt and uncle, and they asked what happened or where my momma was, I made up a story saying she’d left one day and just never came back. That I was too scared to leave the hotel because maybe someone took her. Eventually, they believed it. They hadn’t realized her drug habit, as they referred to it as, had gotten so bad. I didn’t even want to think about that day in that horrible building so I didn’t tell them the whole truth.”
I sat there, still too full of rage to respond though it had toned down some. That was the moment I started to hate yet another person I’d never met. The first was Resha’s stalker. The second was her mother. Hell, my own mother wasn’t exactly Joan fucking Cleaver but she’d never given me or my brother away for a fucking score. She at least had the decency to leave us in the care of our father when she got tired of being a mother. My father wasn’t perfect, either, but he loved us the best way he knew how. Seeing how shit that happened more than twenty years earlier still affected my woman and our relationship pissed me off all over again.
Pushing away from the headboard, I cupped her face in mine. “You know she was fucked, right? She threw you away because she was all kinds of fucked up in the head, and it had absolutely nothing to do with you. Who you are or what you deserved. Tell me you know that!” I demanded, nearly choked by my anger.
She smiled through the tears, actually giggling before she nodded her head. “You have a way with words.”
I shook her face in my hands again. “Tell me you know the truth.”
“I do … logically. I’ve been to therapy in the past over it. Well, technically, I went over my past relationship troubles and found out a lot of it stemmed from my childhood. But logic doesn’t always supplant emotion.”
I nodded, understanding. The most logical people in the world often did the most illogical things due to irrational emotions.
“When your logic fails you, come to me. Don’t shut me out or push me away by trying to get rid of me. You’re stuck with me, in case you didn’t understand that as of yet.”
Resha’s eyebrows rose as she cocked her head to the side, her mouth parting. A small smile crested on my lips as she took in the deeper meaning behind what I’d just said.
“Did you just propose to me?”
“Yes,” I answered without equivocation. “I don’t have a ring yet, but—”
“Yes!”
And for once, it was her lips that crushed against my own, sending me back to the mattress. A deep chuckle pushed past my lips as Resha continued kissing every inch of my face.
“Good. Now, let’s get started on making a family,” I growled, my hands moving to the T-shirt, removing it from her body.
I was pretty certain by the number of times I released inside of my future bride that our child was conceived that night.
****
Resha
“Well, well, well, look who decided to finally show up,” Destiny chimed as she pulled open the door for Connor and I.
Glancing over my shoulder, I rolled my eyes before turning back to my cousin. “Hello to you, too,” I stated, reaching in and hugging Destiny.
“Hey, Ty, come look what the cat dragged in. I hope you still recognize her, it’s been so long since either one of us have seen her.”
My stomach dropped as I entered my cousin’s home. “Being a little dramatic, aren’t you?” I questioned as I removed my coat.
“She’s not.”
Spinning around, I was confronted with Destiny’s husband, Tyler, who had the same look of disappointment on his face as his wife.
“We’ve rarely seen you in months.”
I sighed, greeting him with, “Hi, Tyler,” as he pulled me in for an embrace.
“Let up on my woman, the both of you,” Connor interrupted, placing his arm around my hip. “She’s been a little preoccupied.” He dipped his head, pressing a kiss to my temple, sending my pulse racing due to both the physical touch of his lips and his defense of me.
Tyler raised an eyebrow while Destiny crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh don’t think I don’t know who’s been taking all of my cousin’s time lately,” she blurted, tapping her foot against the hardwood floor of the foyer.
“Anyway, we're glad to be here. Is Aunt Donna here?” I questioned, looking around, wondering why my aunt hadn’t come out to greet us yet.
“She was here but we took her and the kids over to Ty’s parents’ house to spend the evening with them.”
I nodded. “I bet she loved that.” I smiled, feeling a little guilty for not having seen my aunt in weeks, although I called her a couple times a week.
“Come in. Dinner’s still warming up but I made my first charcuterie board.”
“You? In the kitchen?” I giggled at the glare Destiny gave me over her shoulder as we moved down the hall toward their dining area.
“I could hardly believe it myself,” Tyler added.
“You’re domesticating my cousin.”
“What the hell is a charcuterie board?” Connor inquired.
I couldn’t help the laugh that fell from my lips. “Babe, it’s like an appetizer board full of meats, cheeses, crackers, olives, fruits, or vegetables. There are all different types but the ones with cheese and crackers are my favorites,” I admitted.
Connor nodded and shrugged as if he didn’t find something like that all that impressive. I reached up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips on instinct. It was one of the many things I loved about him. He was strong and protective, and even with a number of successful businesses and a championship fighting career behind him, he remained rooted and down-to-earth. He was still a kid from the rough side of town who had to fight his way up, even though he rubbed shoulders with people like the Townsends.
“This looks amazing, Destiny. You did a great job.” I turned back to the table where the board had been set out, at the same time my stomach began growling. “Great timing, too. I’m starving.”
I sat when Connor pulled out a chair for me. Smiling at him as he sat next to me, I turned and didn’t miss the look that Destiny and Tyler exchanged before taking their own seats.
“It’s so quiet here without the kids,” I commented, realizing just how calm the house felt without the three kiddos around. My heart strings tugged a little at missing them. Immediately after the miscarriage, I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the children every day. I barely knew how I was going to make it staying with Destiny while I healed, when I tried to push Connor away. Thankfully, I didn’t have to deal with that since he stepped in and took me back home to his place to recover. But now, I realized how much I missed them.
“Yeah …” Destiny paused looking to Tyler before turning back to me. “We wanted a night with just adults for once.” She gave me a tight smile which lead me to believe she wasn’t being completely honest. However, she obviously didn’t want to say it out loud in front of everyone so I let it go.
Instead, I focused on the food in front of us, taking a few crackers and a few different cheeses with some grapes from the charcuterie board. We ate and talked about upcoming plans and whatnot. Tyler was expected to resume his career in the NFL in the coming summer after having taken a leave of absence to be home with Destiny and the kids their first year as a family of five. It was a controversial decision, one he actually got a lot of heat for in the public eye, but sitting across from the table from him, I saw he took it all in stride. He knew where his priorities were. That thought had me turning and looking to Connor, who I had no doubt would make the same kind of decision for us, when we became a family.
If we become a family.
I still had a ton of fear regarding whether or not I could actually get—and keep—a pregnancy. I’d read so many stories of women who had multiple miscarriages, or whose husbands left them because they couldn’t get pregnant, or who had come to accept that motherhood would never happen for them. I didn’t want that to be me. And yes, Connor was right, we certainly could adopt or
get a surrogate, I just didn’t want to feel as if I were robbed of the experience of going through pregnancy with the man who would be my husband. Even though I knew that experience wouldn’t keep a marriage together.
I was learning to let go of all of those fears but it wasn’t easy. Just the week before, Connor had caught me reading yet another article on miscarriages. He’d yanked my tablet out of my hands.
“Is this why you wanted to work out with me so badly?” he’d demanded.
Sheepishly, I admitted it was. Most of the articles discussed doing your part to ensure a healthy pregnancy and that included eating better and working out, which I loathed. But I’d asked Connor to show me a few workouts I could do to get in better shape. He started taking me to the gym with him each morning. Little did I know his “gym” was actually the place where the Underground fights were hosted. He made up his own workouts, which were so much more hardcore than anything I wanted to do, initially. But I thought the more I sweated the better shape I’d be in, and thus, the better the chance of getting and staying pregnant.
“Working out is not a punishment for your body,” he’d insisted.
I’d cried at those words because I’d slowly began to want to punish my body for betraying me by miscarrying. I wanted to cause it pain the same way it’d pained me, and somehow my future husband could see that. Now, I was limited to working out three times a week, not more than thirty minutes each time, until I built up enough stamina—mental and physical—to workout for the purposes of health and overall well-being. I was getting there.
“Oh my god! Look at that ring!” Destiny’s words called my attention back to the table, as she openly gawked at the princess-cut sapphire stone, surrounded by two aquamarine stones, all set in a rose gold band, that I sported on my left ring finger.
I glanced over at a proud looking Connor.
“Something else you care to tell us?” Destiny asked.
Swallowing, I nodded as I peered down at the ring that I loved so much. Not just because it was gorgeous but also because it wasn’t the typical engagement diamond ring, and Connor had carefully incorporated both of our birthstones in the ring. He didn’t necessarily believe in or even know much about zodiac signs and whatnot, but he knew I did.
“We’re engaged,” Connor and I both responded at the same time, sharing a smile.
“When did this happen?”
“Three weeks ago,” I answered without thinking.
“Three weeks?”
I pivoted to face Destiny at hearing the shriek in her voice. She looked appalled, and moreover, hurt. My heart sank.
“My cousin and I need to talk privately,” she stated, standing from the chair and glaring at me to follow her.
“We can—”
“No, you both stay here, please,” Destiny cut off Tyler who’d started to stand.
I stood, and followed Destiny down the hall to one of the spare bedrooms they had on the first floor, noting that Destiny shut the door behind us.
“What the hell is going on?” she demanded.
“What? Connor and I got engaged. I didn’t tell you because—”
“It’s not just that, Resha, and you know it. You didn’t tell me about the engagement, but you also didn’t tell me about the fact that you were living with him for months. And yeah,” she held up her hands to cut off my interjection, “I know … that was initially because your home was broken into and you were or are being stalked. Which, again, you never told me about. And this had been going on for months before you even met Connor.”
I flinched.
“What? What was that look?”
“I actually met Connor almost a year ago when I was in New York … we, uh, we kind of were a one-night stand kind of thing.” Clearing my throat, I turned away from my cousin. Not because I believed she’d judge me but because it was just one more thing that I hadn’t revealed to her over the past year.
“See what I mean?” She tossed up her hands, looking hurt and bemused. “It’s like you’ve kept me out of your life for months. Outside of the podcast and your trips to the women’s shelter to work with us, I hardly see or hear from you. What’s going on, Resha?”
My shoulders slumped as I pushed out a heavy breath, moving to the large sleigh bed to sit on the side of it. I didn’t want to admit what I was about to say but I didn’t want lies between my cousin and I any longer—she was my best friend and closest family member.
“I was jealous,” I admitted.
When I didn’t hear anything, I lifted my gaze, meeting Destiny’s bewildered look. “You’re going to have to explain.”
Rolling my eyes at myself, I began with, “I know. When you and Ty started dating and it moved so quickly, I was apprehensive. I didn’t want you to get hurt like you had in your last marriage.”
She nodded, moving next to me to sit on the bed. “You told me all of that.”
“Yes, but I also watched how happy he made you and how protective he was over you. The man was ready to lose his whole career to defend you. So, I started to recognize what you saw and I was happy that you found love again. But it also made me yearn for more as well. Then you two were married. Just like that. No engagement, no save-the-date or wedding invitations. You just came back from vacation with a new last name. A new name I had to find out via the grapevine, instead of hearing it from the source.”
“Resh, I told you—”
This time I held up my hand. “I know what you said, D. Still, it hurt to not be a part of that, and I knew how childish and juvenile it sounded to be jealous and happy for you at the same time, while also feeling left out of this new life you were starting. So, I kind of shut down. Blocked it out and told myself that it was fine, we all change, life changes us and we have to adjust. I’d be there for you whenever you needed. Then the triplets came and I was overjoyed you finally got the family you always wanted, but again, it made me assess where I was in my own life. My business and career were going very well, I had friends but no one to come home to at night. That loneliness I’d felt ever since I was a child being left alone at night by a mother who cared for drugs more than me began to well up, and it became almost painful to visit you so often …”
Pausing, I turned to my cousin, feeling like shit for admitting all of this out loud. I hated the way I’d been feeling toward Destiny and her life as of late, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized the ways in which I’d acted out on my jealousy. By shutting her out of the pivotal parts of my life.
“I’m sorry, D. I know it was messed up, but I didn’t even realize that’s what I was doing at the time. I just …”
“I get it,” she finally said. “After I lost the baby and went through my divorce I shut the world out. Even you for a little while.”
I shook my head. “But this was different—”
“Not really. I was in pain, and instead of letting you or others help me, I shut you out. You were in pain also. Hurting and lonely and so you shut me out.”
I let her assessment sink in. “I guess it was somewhat similar in that regard.”
“Anyway, heffa, if you do that shit again, expect for me to curse you out and tell Mama about it!” she announced, standing from the bed to move in front of me with her hands on her hips. “Don’t laugh. I’m not playing, either!”
I covered my mouth to smother the giggles. “I know you’re serious. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. At least, I’ll try not to let it happen.”
“Good.” She pulled me up and into a hug.
“Now that we’re confessing stuff, I should tell you the reason we sent Mama and the kids over to Ty’s parents’ house was because I was afraid that being around them would be too painful for you.”
“I figured that’s what that look was about.”
Destiny’s eyebrows raised before she flinched, sheepishly. “It was that obvious, huh?”
“Only a little, and I love you for caring.”
Pulling back from the hug I’d just given her, she
inquired, “But how are you doing? With the miscarriage and all?”
It’d been a while since my cousin and I had spoken. Our podcast had been on hiatus ever since I’d gotten out of the hospital because I just didn’t have the emotional energy to do it. Thankfully, she understood.
“Most days are good. I still get sad about it, of course, and cry when I need to. Connor has been my rock.” I gaze upward, remembering the many nights he held me as I cried or I talked to him about my fears of never having our own family. When I initially met him, I never would’ve thought he would be so patient, kind, and caring enough to just listen to me as I babbled on about fears, or talk me off the ledge when I believed we wouldn’t work out for one reason or another. He was calm and reasoning when he needed to be. But other moments, he barreled right through my feelings, letting me know that I was on some BS and he wasn’t having it. Most of those times, he was right, also.
“Good. You two look really happy together. And I can’t wait to start planning your wedding.” Destiny’s face brightened as she smiled.
Frowning, I stuck my hand on my hip and questioned, “How do you know I’m not going to run off an elope on a yacht or something?”
I swear my cousin grew by about six inches in height when she sassed, “Because as much as your ass has kept from me over the last year, you know I would beat your ass for eloping!”
Laughing, I shook my head. “You’re right. Anyway, I don’t want anything big, to be honest, and—”
“Have it here.”
“What?”
“At the house. We have plenty of room for all of your and Connor’s family and close friends.”
I paused, mulling it over. Destiny and Tyler’s property was very spacious. Close to two acres, I believed, which should be large enough for the type of intimate wedding Connor and I had been discussing.
“I’ll talk to my fiancé about it.”
Destiny’s face opened up in a wide grin as she pulled me into a hug, and in that moment, I knew where we’d be having our wedding. After distancing myself from my cousin and best friend for so many months, it only felt right to let her do this for Connor and I.
No Coincidence Page 27
