She would be in the stands tonight, I had no doubt about it. The 4th of July game was about her, her mom, and baseball.
The Star-Spangled Banner played, and some local pop star sang it. The whole place exploded into applause when she was done.
Then it was time to play ball.
I searched the stands for Blaze. I knew roughly where she was sitting but couldn’t find her in the crowds, not right away.
Then during the change between the top and bottom of the third inning, I spotted her. She was sitting next to Allison. Next to Allison was a man I didn’t recognize, but I had no trouble recognizing the guy sitting on the other side of Blaze.
Larry.
Blaze had come with the guy her dad had chosen for her. Everything inside of me turned to ash. She didn’t want to be with me. She was going to try to shove herself into the mold her family wanted her to be.
Fuck. Now, I had to get through the rest of the game, knowing Blaze and I were over. And I didn’t give a shit about the game.
Seeing Blaze sitting next to Larry had every muscle I owned knotted with tension. I didn’t want to leave it. Not like this. I couldn’t help but wonder if Blaze was trying to push me away to save us both and damn it, that made me love her more.
Love her?
Was it so easy to love someone?
It was certainly easy to love Blaze. Even if she was a pain in the ass. Or maybe especially because she was a pain in the ass.
But leaving her behind didn’t feel right.
Juarez chuckled.
I glanced over at him to find him staring at me. “What?”
“Don’t do it. Don’t let her go if it’s not the right thing.”
I shook my head. “She’s here with another guy.”
“Is he really competition?”
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. The guy is a moron. And she doesn’t like him.”
“Then you gotta ask yourself, Calaveras. Why is she here with him?”
It ate me up through the rest of the game, but we played hard. After the game, I showered quickly, thinking about nothing but Blaze and what to do. I hated that I had to leave. There wasn’t a choice in the matter unless I walked away from baseball. I could do it. I could do it if Blaze was going to be there. But I knew she didn’t want me to do that either.
So how did I win? How did Blaze win?
Showered. Packed. Juarez and I headed out of the locker room and toward the exit out the back where the bus was waiting. We offloaded our luggage and the driver packed it away for us.
“She’s going to love screaming my name.”
The tension I’d been feeling earlier returned three-fold. I turned from climbing into the bus. Juarez was behind me. He stepped back off the bus and allowed me to pass him.
Larry stood leaning against the wall. Why was he out here? If he won…if he had Blaze, he would be putting his sleazy paws all over her. I sneered at the thought of him touching her.
“You come all the way over here to tell me that, because you know it’s never going to happen?” I spat.
His beady eyes narrowed. “How do you know I haven’t already gotten between her chunky thighs?”
“Because I’m not stupid. And she’s not desperate. At least, not for anything you have.”
“I’m here with her tonight, aren’t I?”
“I don’t know. Are you? Because you’re standing out here talking to me. Wouldn’t you be feeling up your girl instead of talking to the likes of me, given the choice, Juarez?”
“Yeah, man. I’d rather do almost anything than look at the ugly mug.” I had felt him behind me, flanking me. It felt good to have a friend again.
I chuckled. “So, either you have a thing for me, or she rejected your sorry ass.”
Larry’s beach ball face grew redder. “You think you’re so hot. What the hell would you want with a fat bitch like that anyway? Your equipment too small? You so miserable with the ladies you can’t find an actual gorgeous woman who will take you on?”
Juarez put his hand on my shoulder. It was a good thing because I was about to haul off and hit the guy. In fact, I wasn’t entirely sure I wasn’t going to anyway. I knew it could mean ending everything I’d worked for right here and right now. But how could he talk about Blaze like that?
The rest of the Coyotes were steadily pouring out of the doorway behind Larry. He seemed oblivious to the new audience filtering in around him. The coach moved in directly behind him.
“Larry, if you think that you’re insulting me or somehow making me feel small, you should know, you’re not. I don’t give a fuck what a guy like you thinks of me. And while Blaze is way, way too good for you, she doesn’t give a fuck what you think of her either.”
“Excuse me.” The coach’s voice behind him, startled Larry and he jerked so he was facing us both.
“Yeah, she’s a real class act of a woman who gives her clients happy endings and God only knows what else.”
A few of the guys took a step forward, Juarez squeezed my shoulder to hold me back.
Now I was absolutely sure Blaze had ended whatever she’d started between them. It made me furious to think he’d touched her. Or that she’d let him in. But I knew Blaze, even in this short amount of time. I knew she’d never let him in. He disgusted her.
But did she love me?
“She’s more woman that you can handle. And you should get your eyes checked. She’s fucking gorgeous. And you’re a bigger moron than I thought you were, if you think you can do better than Blaze. She’s too good for even me.”
“She’s a fat cunt who should’ve been drowned at birth.”
I yanked out of Juarez’s grip, my fist ready to go flying right into his face.
But the asshole was on the ground before I could reach him.
Coach was standing over him.
“Get off my property and never return. And don’t think we won’t know if you show your sorry face around here again.”
I blinked rapidly. “Coach….”
Larry cupped his hand over his face and scurried to his feet. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”
“Um, here’s the thing.” A uniform cop stepped out from behind a couple of the Coyotes. “I saw the whole thing, and you just tripped and fell.”
I recognized the cop. Officer Damon Langley. He was the guy who brought around the math wizard, Jamal, who was trying to help out the coach with the players and the games. It happened while I was out. But the kid had some good ideas.
Larry got to his feet. “What the hell?”
“I would recommend leaving. I’d hate to arrest you for harassment and defamation of character,” Officer Langley finished.
Larry glanced around. I think it was finally dawning on him that he was surrounded by a bunch of jocks. He threw his hands up in the air and muttered as he headed toward the parking lot.
“Who the hell was that prick?” Officer Langley asked.
“A nothing prick,” Coach growled. He turned toward me. “You really going to let a piece of shit like that stand in for you?”
How did Coach know?
“You can have both, son.”
And like that, I was running. I knew the bus was waiting on me. But this couldn’t be how I left things with her.
A bunch of the guys let out catcalls and whistles.
I was a little bummed I didn’t get to be the one to punch Larry out, but watching the coach do it was definitely better. Plus, the coach didn’t need his hands like I did. One broken finger could put me on the DL for weeks.
What if she’d left already? What if I’d missed my chance?
14
Blaze
A few innings earlier…
He saw me. I knew he did. I could see it on his face even from my seat. Larry was doing everything he could to keep my attention on him, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to date Larry. I didn’t even want to talk to Larry, but Jason had to move on from Jubilee
Falls and from me. He would never forgive himself if he stayed here.
I wasn’t so sure I could leave Jubilee Falls. I hated the way my family treated me, but they were my family. They only had the best intentions for me, right? Maybe they were right. Larry was more my speed. He wasn’t ridiculously hot, he seemed to like me, and he was nice enough sometimes when he wasn't a groping pig.
Every time he tried to hold my hand, I found something else for my hand to be doing.
Allison leaned over. “Are you really sure this is what you want to do?”
I sighed. She’d been asking me that every five minutes. She’d flat out told me it was a terrible idea when I showed up with him.
“Yes. Jason needs to go to Omaha.”
Allison shook her head. She went back to talking and flirting with Theo, though neither of them were at all aware they were flirting. Theo had stopped hanging out with his best friend after he left Allison for another woman. Why Allison couldn’t see Theo had clearly chosen her in the whole fiasco was beyond me.
“How about you come over to my place tonight after the game?” Larry murmured in my ear, way too close. I felt like he was spitting in it.
I jerked my head away. “I have to work tomorrow, and with the fireworks, it’s going to be late.”
“Fireworks?” Larry curled his lips in disgust. “I’m not staying for fireworks. I hate them.”
“Oh, well, then I’ll catch a ride home with Allison.”
Larry frowned, his finger sliding over my forearm and dropping down to my thigh.
“I brought you here. You should end the evening with me.”
I wanted to roll my eyes. “It’s the Fourth of July game. I’m not leaving until after the fireworks grand finale.”
Larry rolled his eyes and slumped in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. Was he pouting? Was he five? This was a mistake. What had I been thinking? This wasn’t how I wanted to end things with Jason, was it?
I glanced over at Allison, who just gave me this look of sorrow. She didn’t understand what I was doing, and now, I was starting to question it too. Jason would’ve never acted like that, and he was younger than Larry. What did my dad see in this guy? Why did he think he was so perfect for me? Was this really what my own father wanted for me?
By the seventh inning stretch, my gut was in knots. I got up to get some different air, away from Larry. Allison followed me down to the concession stands.
“B, I don’t like what you’re doing,” Allison said. “I think you’re so screwed up about how you feel about yourself versus how Jason makes you feel.”
I looked over at her. “What am I supposed to do? Ask him to stay?”
Allison shook her head. “I love you, and I don’t want you to leave Jubilee, but you’re too good for this place. You’ve got skills you can use anywhere. In a big city, you might be able to just work with athletes, which is what you wanted to do in the first place. Your family has this screwed up idea of what they think you can do and what you can get based on nothing. They’re judgmental assholes. Your dad changed after your mom died. He let Sylvia take over his world and stopped making room for you, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to what he says. And it certainly doesn’t mean the guy they think you should be with is the guy you should be with. Larry sucks, and he’s not good enough for you. But you’re the one who has to see that. I’ve been telling you to go, leave Jubilee. That’s what I think you should do.”
I covered my face with my hands. I wanted to cry and scream and curl into a ball on the floor all at once. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, but I knew one thing. I didn’t want to lose how I felt when I was with Jason. I’d never felt more myself than when I was with him.
And I’d fucking blown it.
But I didn’t know what he wanted either. Of course, I hadn’t given him the time to tell me before I started pushing him away.
Allison wrapped her arm around me.
“You’re a wonderful person, Blaze. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know how I ever would’ve gotten through Dean leaving me. But you deserve happiness too, and if you think for one second you can be happy with Larry, you’ve got another think coming. If it’s not Jason, it’s not Jason, but I’ll tell you what. If Dean had ever looked at me the way Jason looks at you, he wouldn’t have left me for another woman.”
Nothing made sense in my head. Allison—beautiful, lovely Allison—had been left before her wedding, and the hot baseball player was interested in me. Life certainly didn’t work out the way you expected it to.
“You need to stop listening to their voices and find your own voice, B. Jason likes you a lot. It’s so obvious. Your dad thinks he knows what’s best for you because he thinks he knows you, but he doesn’t. Sylvia is a thin, tall, blonde woman. Your mom was a curvy as hell, beautiful, feisty woman, and that’s what you are too. There is nothing wrong with that. Don’t doubt who you are.”
This was usually one of my favorite days of the year. Even when I came by myself, I loved the game and the fireworks after. But now, with Larry up in our seats and Jason down on the field, nothing was as it should be.
The crowd went wild. Clearly, the Coyotes had done something awesome. I felt bad I was missing Jason play, but I had to figure out my own crap.
Even if I didn’t go to Omaha to be with Jason, I had a job offer sitting there, waiting for me, doing something I’d always wanted to do. I hadn’t been brave enough to tell anyone about it because I was scared of what it all meant.
“Blaze? What are you doing down here?”
My eyes widened when I heard my father’s voice, and I spun around. He had his hands on his hips and a look of disappointment.
“What are you doing down here? Shouldn’t you be with Larry? You brought him as your date, didn’t you? Your mom and I came here tonight. We thought it would be a nice outing. Jill offered to stay home with Kaitlyn.”
“She’s not my mom.” I didn’t mean to say it. I always swallowed my frustration when he said it, but not tonight, apparently.
“Don’t be rude, Blaze.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m stating a fact.”
“Why aren’t you with Larry? You shouldn’t be rude to your date.”
“Dad, I don’t think it’s going to work out with Larry. It was a mistake to invite him tonight. He doesn’t even want to stay for the fireworks.”
“Blaze, I did not raise you to be rude. He’s a friend and a co-worker of mine, and I will not have you treating him badly.”
“I’m not seventeen anymore. You can’t tell me what to do. And you clearly don’t know me at all if you think Larry is the guy for me.”
“He’s steady, loyal, stable. What is a baseball player going to bring you? Just heartache, Blaze. You really think he’s going to settle for a girl like you? He’s going to have hundreds of women, gorgeous women after him.”
I gaped at him. “And what am I?”
I thought about the way Jason looked at me, the way he made me feel when he talked to me, touched me, fucked me. Larry would never make me feel that way. He only left me wanting a shower to wipe away his slime-ball touch.
“You are beautiful to me, of course you are, Blaze, but you’re my daughter. Jason has barely touched the population of women he’s going to run into. Do you think you’re going to be enough for him?”
I shook my head and turned back to Allison. “I need to get out of here.”
Allison nodded. “I’ll let Larry know you needed to go. Just go and take care of yourself.”
“You’re not going to walk out on him,” my father barked.
“Actually, you’re right. I’m going to enjoy the fucking baseball game. He can leave or go find another seat.” I stomped past my father and headed back up to my seat, Allison trotting behind me.
“There you are. I was about to go looking for you. Your father said he saw you. Did he send you back up here?” Larry was all over me. He’d moved seats, so he was sitting next to All
ison, leaving me on the end, away from my friend.
“Larry, I’m afraid I made a mistake inviting you here tonight. I’m sorry, but it’s just not going to work out.”
His brow furrowed. “Are you serious?”
“I am.”
“What happened? Is it because I don’t want to see the fireworks? That was just because I wanted you to come home with me. I wanted us to take this thing to the next level tonight. We’re good together.”
I restrained myself from making a face, but from the corner of my eye, I saw Allison cringe.
“Nothing happened. I don’t like you. I thought I could make myself be the kind of girl who falls in line with what her father wants for her, but it turns out, not so much.”
“You think your baseball boyfriend is going to stick around for you? Rumor is, he’s going to Omaha tonight.”
“It doesn’t matter, Larry. I’m still not going to like you. I brought you here tonight to make him think things were over between us, but they’re not. And even if they are, even if I end up single for the rest of my life, it’ll be better than being with you.”
Larry stood up. “I don’t have to take this bullshit.”’ He stormed down the stairs.
Thank God. I thought he was going to stay out of spite. I sat back down and slumped against Allison.
“For what it’s worth,” Theo said quietly to me, “you’re far better off. That guy is a sleaze.”
“Oh God.” Allison gasped. “What did he say?”
“You don’t want to know.”
I leaned back in my chair, and for the first time that evening, I focused on the game.
Jason was playing his heart out. He was amazing. If he was going to Omaha, it was about damned time. I was just sorry he and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. It was my fault. I didn’t deserve a proper goodbye.
The game ended with a Coyote win. Allison, Theo, and I cheered our asses off. Once the high fives were exchanged, the Coyotes were off the field and back in the locker room. I watched Jason disappear into the dugout. It left me morose, but I was going to put on my game face until I got home where I could cry in private.
Sparks of Love Page 14
