by Ali Parker
Chapter 9
Hailey
Steam floated out of my coffee cup. It was a dry March morning in Nashville but the air had a bit of a chill to it, so I held my coffee in both hands and blew on it while the others I was with ordered their breakfast from the server standing beside our table on a usually sunny patio.
Kim had invited me and my sister out for breakfast with her and Vanessa and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I assumed she’d talked to Jackson recently and maybe he’d mentioned how he and I hadn’t spoken since he moved away.
I hoped he also hadn’t mentioned that we’d slept together before he left because I didn’t think I could take the humiliation. It had been nothing but a big fat mistake, and nothing made that more obvious than the fact that I still hadn’t heard from him.
For Jack, it was just a hookup.
For me, it had been something more and I was kicking myself for getting caught up in feelings I really had no right to feel. Jackson wasn’t settling down anytime soon—especially not with me. I was his best friend. Not his girlfriend.
How had I gotten my wires so crossed?
The waitress smiled at me. “And you, hun? What can I get for you?”
I ordered a veggie omelette with a fruit salad side before the waitress collected our menus and moved to the table next to us to take their order.
I sipped my coffee and tried not to think about Jackson as the girls chatted.
Hannah dropped a sugar cube into her tea and stirred it around. “So how are things with you and this hunk of yours, Kimberly?”
Kim grinned. “Rick? It’s great. Really great. I mean, you all know I was a little wary when things hit the fan and all of a sudden everyone in Nashville knew who I was. But we’ve pushed past that part and I’m happy. We’re happy.”
“Do you hear wedding bells in your future?” Hannah asked.
“Yes, I do.” Kim blushed and turned to Vanessa. “But the only wedding bells in our immediate future are for Vanessa and Rhys. How is wedding planning going?”
Vanessa ran her fingers through her hair and pulled her olive-green knit cardigan a little tighter around herself as a gentle breeze picked up. “To be honest, everything is kind of on the backburner. With the little one, all our time is spent burping and feeding and doing laundry. The laundry. You guys, it’s unreal. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
Vanessa and Rhys had welcomed their new baby girl, Lily, into the world just a couple short months ago. I hadn’t seen much of Vanessa since she gave birth, which was reasonable, and it was nice to see her out and about and enjoying some girl time.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her.
Vanessa nodded. “I feel pretty good, all things considered. Everyone always made me think childbirth would be the worst part, but ladies, let me tell you. Recovery is no cakewalk. I still feel like this body isn’t mine and my doctor said that it’s normal to experience a bit of detachment and stuff. But it’s still weird. And sometimes a little unsettling. Like I look in the mirror and I can’t believe I grew Lily all by myself and made this perfect, glorious, beautiful little thing. But I also can’t believe that person is me. Does that make sense?”
Kim, my sister, and I all nodded, even though none of us had ever experienced such a thing.
Vanessa chuckled to herself. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about baby stuff. Rhys has her for the morning and this is my girl time. So talk to me about what you guys have going on. Hailey, how have things been since Jackson moved to New York?”
I’d been preparing for the question all morning but it still caught me off guard when she asked. “Oh. Um. Fine. It’s been fine.”
“Is he settled into his new place yet?” Vanessa asked.
“I think so,” I said.
Kim frowned. “I talked to him the other night. He likes the new digs. And he made a pit stop at his sister’s resort to visit her for a couple of nights. Said they had a great time together. When did you talk to him last, Hailey?”
I swallowed. “Um. Actually, we haven’t spoken since he left.”
“What?” Kim and Vanessa asked in unison.
My sister rolled her eyes. “See, Hailey? I told you it was fucking weird that you and Jackson just stopped talking cold turkey.”
“You don’t have the full story,” I grumbled.
“Then tell us,” Vanessa said. “Did something happen?”
My cheeks burned and I wished I’d turned down the invite to join them for breakfast. But I also knew I wouldn’t be able to keep this under wraps forever, and it might be nice to have others know what had happened. I felt like I’d been trapped in my own head with my thoughts for two whole weeks and that wasn’t a very nice place to be. Other voices and opinions might help straighten me out.
I lifted my chin and looked around at them. “Jackson and I said goodbye the night before he left in a sort of… intimate way.”
Kim gripped the edge of the table and leaned forward. “Did you two fuck?”
“Shut. Up.” Vanessa’s eyes went wide and she looked back and forth between me and Kim. Finally, her attention settled on me. “Tell us everything. I’m so glad I got out of the house today.”
Hannah knuckled me in the upper arm. “How come you didn’t tell me this?”
I rubbed at my sore arm. “Ow. I don’t know. I just… I’ve been trying to make sense of what happened in my own head. I don’t really know how it happened. I stopped by his place. We had pizza. And then one thing led to another and we were kissing and our clothes were off and… well, you know.”
“No. We don’t. We need details, girl. Details!” Kim snapped her fingers.
“I’m not giving you a play by play on how good Jackson was in bed,” I said.
Kim gave me a suspicious look. “So he is good?”
I rolled my eyes. “Stop it. The sex was good. Great actually. But I let it get in my head and I convinced myself that maybe it was good enough for him to stay. But he still got in his car the next morning and left, and I stood there like an idiot staring after him, realizing I’d made a terrible mistake. Sex makes things complicated. Now it feels like he took part of me with him when we could have had a clean friendship break and not made things so messy.” I buried my face in my hands and groaned. “I fucked up, guys.”
“No, you didn’t.” Hannah pulled my hands away from my face.
Kim nudged my shin under the table with the toe of her sneaker. “Don’t beat yourself up. I have a confession to make. We’ve been waiting for you and Jackson to finally do the dirty.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Do the dirty? Who are you?”
“Shut up.” Kim scowled. “You know what I mean. There’s always been this underlying thing between you and Jackson. Why don’t you go to New York? He asked you five thousand times. And listen, Jackson isn’t the type of guy to jeopardize a friendship as important to him as yours if he doesn’t think he wants something more. Maybe he just hasn’t reached out because he’s unsure where you stand.”
“I can’t,” I said simply. “My life is here. My job.”
“Fuck your job,” Kim said harshly. “You don’t like it anyway! If they can transfer you, great. If not, who cares? You’ll find something better. You have a lot more to offer than settling for a place like that. If there is really something between you and Jackson, you should pursue it.”
I licked my lips. “That sounds like a lot of ’ifs.”
Kim stared flatly at Hannah. “Your sister is impossible, you know that?”
Hannah sighed. “Tell me about it.”
I was spared having to retort when our plates of food arrived. My omelette oozed cheese, green peppers, mushrooms, and onions, and I jabbed my fork into it a dozen times to let the heat out so I could eat. The others poured maple syrup over French toast or ketchup over hash browns and passed the pepper shaker around.
I stared at my food as the others started eating, and suddenly, my appetite was gone. My thoughts were caught up in Jackson a
nd I wondered if there was any truth to what Kim was saying. Jackson wasn’t an ass. He was my best friend. Maybe he was avoiding me because he didn’t know where I stood and he was afraid to make the first move.
Just like I was.
“Fuck it.” I reached behind me and pulled my phone out of my purse. Jackson was the first number on my speed dial. I dialed and lifted the phone to my ear.
Kim’s cheeks were full of French toast. “Are you calling him?”
I nodded.
All three of them fixed their attention on me like I was holding a piece of cheese and they were Labradors.
Jackson answered on the third ring. “Hails!” His voice was warm and light. It sounded like he was happy I had called. “How are you? I miss the shit out of you already.”
I smiled involuntarily and poked at my omelette with my fork. “I’m okay. I miss you too, Jack. How’s New York? I saw your show the other night. You looked good. Very professional.”
“Thanks, Boo. Hold on one sec.”
I waited as the line filled with background noise. People were laughing. Someone was talking. I heard Jackson’s voice as he told someone he’d be right back. It got significantly quieter and I assumed he’d stepped outside to finish our call.
“I can call later if this isn’t a good time,” I said.
“No, it’s fine. I wanted to talk to you about something actually.”
“Oh?” Did he want to talk about our last night together? Did he want to get back on the same page? “What’s up?”
Kim’s eyes were glued to me. I could feel the heat of my sister and Vanessa staring, too.
“I think I found a client that would be perfect for you,” Jackson said.
“Sorry?”
“A client. I picked up a new guy two and a half weeks ago or so, and I’ve been doing some qualifying stuff with him. You know, the usual questions and what not. And I think he’d be a good fit for you.”
“For me?”
“Of course for you!” Jackson said. “It’s the guy I was talking about on Sunny’s show. I didn’t mention it but he’s handsome, too.”
I swallowed and looked down at my lap. “Nice. Is he in Nashville?”
“Of course he’s in Nashville, you ninny.” Jackson’s laugh filled the line. “Where else would he be?”
New York. I sighed. “Nowhere.”
Chapter 10
Jackson
“The construction will be done in another couple of weeks,” I told the twenty-something-year-old I was interviewing. He had a head of unruly black hair and glasses with lenses so thick they made his eyes appear to be the size of golf balls.
His name was Drew and he’d arrived to his job interview fifteen minutes early, as most responsible candidates did. I was in need of an assistant now that my business was expanding, and my New York apartment was still a mess, so I’d opted to have the interviews at my soon-to-be office instead. I enjoyed being able to walk around and picture what my everyday workday would look like in my mind’s eye.
“It looks like it’ll be a nice place,” Drew said. “What used to be here?”
“Nail salon.” I tapped the side of my nose. “Sometimes, I can still smell the chemicals.”
Drew shrugged. “Smells fine to me. Like sawdust and drywall.”
We stopped at the open archway of the room that would be my personal office. It had no door, not yet anyway, so we stepped through and I invited him to sit in one of the two old dining-room-style chairs. I was working with what I had at the moment, and these had been left behind in the break room at the nail salon before my construction crew took over.
They would do for now.
“So tell me why you want this job, Drew.”
Drew shifted a little nervously in his chair. He wasn’t a young man with presence. He was one of those guys who kind of blended into the background. I suspected he was a little shy, but that wasn’t a dealbreaker for me. He had to be personable and have good intuition. Those two things were crucial. And he couldn’t be above running food errands every now and then. Some days required pulling long hours, and as Hailey was always first to point out, I had a tendency to spiral toward “hangriness” if I didn’t fuel my body on those long days.
I had never and would never utter that cursed word in front of another soul, other than Hailey.
It didn’t bode well for a grown man to rub his belly and complain about hunger pangs while lashing out at innocent bystanders for looking at him funny.
Hailey. I missed her. God, I missed her. I missed her goofy laugh and the way she always peered at me out of the corner of her eyes like she was simultaneously judging and admiring me. I missed the smell of her shampoo when I took her out for evening drives. I missed her tough love, coffee visits, movie nights, yard sale weekend adventures—all of it.
And it hadn’t even been three full weeks yet.
I tore my thoughts from Hailey when I realized Drew had started answering my question and I’d zoned out.
“I find satisfaction in being useful to a person or a project,” Drew said. “I’m motivated by work with clear, distinct markers for success. It helps me be able to look back and see what I accomplished. I have a tendency to feel like I’m adrift at sea if that part of my work is lacking and I don’t think that would be an issue here. What better way to see success with your own eyes than to see two people coming together in love?”
“How…” I trailed off and tried to find the right word. Rehearsed? Planned? Kiss ass-y? “Thoughtful.”
Drew smiled and mentally patted himself on the back for impressing the boss man in a half-renovated old nail salon. “Thank you. I think you and I would be a good fit, too.”
“What makes you say that?”
“We click, man. You’re new to New York and so am I. I could help you run your empire and we could learn the streets together.”
It took a good deal of effort not to let my eyebrow arch like it so desperately wanted to.
Learn the streets together?
For the life of me, I couldn’t tell if he was trying to impress me or trying to seal his fate that he would not get the job.
Drew was the eleventh person I’d interviewed since I moved to the Big Apple and he was just as disenchanting as the others. He didn’t have that special something I was looking for. What was that special something? Well, it beat the shit out of me. But Drew definitely didn’t have it.
We spent the next fifteen minutes covering generic questions I didn’t care to hear the answers to. Drew was pleasant enough and I shook his hand when we stopped outside the open front doors. He stepped out onto the sidewalk and told me he was looking forward to hearing from me.
“I’ll let you know sometime next week how things are looking,” I said.
“I appreciate that. Have a good day, Mr. Smithe!” Drew waved, turned away from me, and walked with a chipper pep in his step down the block.
I felt a little bad for not considering him for the position but I knew it wouldn’t work. I needed someone to keep me on top of things, who wasn’t afraid to warn me if I was dropping the ball. A good kick in the ass was necessary sometimes.
Hailey had always been good at that.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Why couldn’t I get her out of my head? I needed to just bite the bullet and set her up with Ambrose. I hadn’t mentioned anything further to him about the girl I suspected would work for him, and even though I was in denial, I knew I was getting cold feet about setting him up with Hailey.
She wasn’t mine to protect. Ambrose was a good guy. They’d probably hit it off.
That’s the scary part.
I mentally kicked myself.
Since when was I a possessive asshat who wanted his best friend to stay single for his own comfort?
“Fuck it,” I said. I fished my phone out of my pocket and messaged Ambrose, asking if he was free on Wednesday evening. He replied right away like I knew he would. Serious men always did. He told me he w
as free, so I shot a message to Hailey—my own feelings about it be damned—telling her there was a great guy who wanted to meet up with her on Wednesday.
She didn’t message back right away.
I sighed. Our friendship hadn’t been the same since I left and I was worried about the emotional distance growing between us.
Emotional distance, I scoffed at myself. You’re starting to handle yourself like you handle your clients.
I knew just the right way to try to make it up to Hailey. She’d probably already burned through that W. Parker book she lifted from my bookshelf before I moved and she was always itching to dig into another one.
So I called my best W. Parker source.
My sister answered after a few rings. There were birds chirping in the background and I knew my sister was at the resort. “Hey, Jack. What’s up?”
“You got a minute?”
“I’m actually on my lunch break. Good timing. What do you want? If you’re calling to ask for the guest list to get the name of that girl you ran into when you were here, you’re barking up the wrong tree. You know I’ll never share client information.”
“I’m not calling about the girl. Don’t get your morals in a bunch.”
Katie made an unimpressed sound in the back of her throat. “What do you want then?”
“I was wondering if you could get your hands on some new W. Parker books. I want to send some copies to Hailey. Pretty sure she’s hit the bottom of her reading pile and—”
“You want to send her some to compensate for how guilty you feel about leaving her behind?”
I frowned. “No.”
“Uh huh. Sure. Lucky for you, I have four signed books with Hailey’s postage already on the envelope.”
I didn’t know how my sister pulled it off, but she did. W. Parker was a well known and successful romance writer with an elusive pen name that allowed him—or her—to hide behind the anonymity of it. Nobody knew whether W. Parker was a man or a woman, let alone any personal details about them.
