by Tara West
Eeeww. I shouldn’t have asked for cheese on my burger. I shouldn’t have asked for burger on my burger. I tried to digest the processed cardboard the lunch ladies thought to pass off as meat, but I just wasn’t in the mood to eat. Not with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
“Do I need to kick her ass for you?”
“What?” I looked up to see AJ. I hadn’t even noticed she was sitting across from me, trying to chew through a piece of leathery burger.
AJ’s face twisted with disgust as she swallowed what she had chewed. “You look upset. Is Summer bothering you again or are you still freaked out about the ghost?”
“Neither.” I turned my attention toward my soda. At least that was digestible, even if it was 150 calories and loaded with caffeine.
“Oh, I get it.” AJ leaned back and smiled in the direction of the jock table.
Until that very moment, I hadn’t even noticed them. Jacob and a couple other jocks were smashing ketchup packets, making a mess all over the white cafeteria walls.
I sighed. “He’s part of it, but not all of it.”
AJ arched her brow in disbelief. “Well, what’s the rest?”
“I’m getting better at it.” I focused on my drink again, trying to keep my voice low while speaking around my straw.
“At what?”
I hesitated, and looked around to see if anyone at the nearby tables was paying attention. “At controlling it.”
“Oh, really,” AJ smiled. “What am I thinking?” “Don’t be a dork. First Grammy, and then…” Lara had not asked me to keep it a secret; then again, she didn’t know I knew.
AJ leaned closer. “Finish.”
I covered my mouth while I whispered my top secret information to AJ. Just because kids weren’t in hearing distance, didn’t mean none of them were good lip readers. “A girl in one of my classes is having problems.”
AJ’s eyes widened. “What kind of problems?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. She probably doesn’t want anyone to know.” “What did she say?”
AJ wasn’t going to let this one drop easily.
“She wouldn’t tell me anything. I heard her crying, so I listened to her thoughts.”
“Great.” AJ backed away and narrowed her icy blue eyes. “So now you’re using it to be nosey.”
I tried to keep my voice low. I didn’t want to cause a scene. “No, I’m not.”
“Sounds like it to me.” AJ threw the remnants of her burger into the wrapper and fisted it into a ball.
I looked over my shoulder, quickly scanning the room for any eavesdroppers. “What’s your problem, AJ?”
“I don’t know.” AJ raised her voice. “Why don’t you pop into my head and find out?”
I could feel my body shudder in fear that I would be found out. When we revealed our gifts to each other six years ago, we made a promise to secrecy and AJ was about to blow it with her big mouth. “Don’t be a jerk, AJ.”
“What are you two fighting about?” Krysta took a seat next to AJ with her usual lunch, a diet Coke and a Slim Fast bar. As if she needed to diet; she was skinnier than a toothpick.
AJ turned to Krysta and pointed a finger. She made no attempt to control her loud voice. “Sophie’s figured out how to pry into other people’s business.”
“Would you keep your voice down?” I hissed, “I wanted to help.”
“So, how’d you help her?” AJ snapped.
I took a deep breath, preparing for AJ to pounce again. “I don’t know how to help her.”
AJ slammed her fist on the table. “Just don’t try any of that crap on me because I’ll know when you’re doing it.”
I jerked back, surprised by the loud sound and AJ’s reaction. “I didn’t plan on it, AJ.”
“Okay, you two.” Krysta jumped in with an angry whisper. She nodded toward a bunch of middle school maggots who had stopped chewing their meat products long enough to gawk at us.
Kids at this school loved fights, especially little seventh graders. “Stop fighting.”
“I didn’t start it.” I pointed to AJ and rolled my eyes for emphasis.
AJ got up and threw away her lunch. She didn’t even bother to say goodbye as she stormed out the door.
“What’s up with her?” I asked Krysta. After what I’d been through with Grammy and Lara, I really didn’t need AJ adding to my stress.
“She had another fight with her mom last night.” Krysta said this with little emotion, as if she was used to AJ and her mom fighting.
AJ had me so pissed off with her attitude, my heart was beating like a drum in my chest, and I could feel red hot anger flush into my cheeks. “Well, she doesn’t have to take it out on me.”
I knew AJ and her mom fought a lot. Which was why she was grounded almost every weekend, although usually just on Fridays. She would drive her mom so crazy by Saturday morning, Mrs. Dawson would give in, just to get AJ off her back.
Krysta smiled weakly and set down her diet soda. “I never got to thank you for what you did for me and Grammy.”
“No problem.” Although Krysta was a master at changing the subject to avoid conflict, the reminder of her loss brought on a surge of guilt. I was ashamed I was too busy being mad at AJ to remember Krysta had just lost her Grammy. “How are you holding up?”
“Ok, right now. Ask me again in a few minutes.” Krysta lowered her voice to a whisper. “So, are you really learning to control it? I thought last night was just a fluke.”
I looked up to see a few of the seventh graders still staring. I growled at them, and they quickly turned, frantically shoveling fries into their faces.
Leaning toward Krysta, I decided to tell her what I’d just told AJ. I knew she’d be more understanding. “I did, too. Now, I don’t know. This past week thoughts have been coming more frequently. Last night with Grammy and again this morning, all I had to do was think about it.”
“Who were you trying to help?” She nibbled on her diet bar and raised her gaze in anticipation.
“I don’t want to say. Someone at school has started rumors about her and now other kids are teasing her.” I didn’t mention there was only one ‘other kid’, Jacob Flushman. I still didn’t have proof he was that much of a jerk. “Let’s just leave it at that.”
Krysta took a dainty sip of her diet drink from a straw. “Are you going to help her?”
“I don’t know what to do.” I breathed out and rested my forehead on my palms. This day hadn’t started out well and it wasn’t getting any better. “I don’t know how to help her, but I’ve got to think of something.”
What could I do to help Lara? Since I had pried into her mind without permission, now was it my responsibility to help her? What could I do? Kick Summer’s butt? Doubtful. Tell off Jacob? Then he’d never like me. But if I knew he treated my friends like crap, would I want him to like me? My life was way too complicated.
Chapter Six
Pop quiz.
Two of the most dreaded words in a student’s vocabulary. Not the sight I was looking forward to when I walked into English class. I much preferred staring at the back of Jacob’s cute ears. I couldn’t get the dreaded vision of Dallin’s scribble out of my mind, especially since those two evil words were glaring at me in bold red marker on the white board.
Our assignment last night had been to read chapter eight. Yeah, I read it, but I didn’t expect to recall any of it. My mind was too filled with other stuff right now, not to mention I could barely keep my eyelids open. My caffeine high from that jumbo Dr. Pepper I had at lunch was already starting to wear down.
Mr. Pick-N-Flick made his way to the front of the classroom and opened his mouth as if to speak, but then he began to hack and cough. God, I felt sorry for the kids in the front row. Debris was flying everywhere. Didn’t the guy know how to cover his mouth? He grabbed a tissue and finally coughed up whatever was blocking his passage. I couldn’t see it behind the tissue, but I could hear it and it sounded slimy. The kids in the
front row were turning green. Good thing I didn’t eat that hamburger. I already wanted to hurl my soda.
Pick-N-Flick managed to spew out, “Clear your desks,” and then he started hacking again. He grabbed another tissue and spit into it. When he tried to toss the tissue into the trashcan, a long trail of rubbery snot trailed from his lower lip to the tissue.
Now I really wanted to barf.
The tissue dangled from his lip for a second before it hit the floor. Pick-N-Flick picked it up and threw it away, but he managed to slime his hand in the process. I watched him wipe it on his pants before he grabbed the tests off his desk.
“Sophie, would you hand these out for me?” How did I know that was coming? No telling how many boogery germs were on those tests. All eyes in the classroom were on me. Even if I doused myself with an entire bottle of antibacterial lotion, nothing would sanitize the stigma of being labeled the girl who rubbed her hands in Pick-N-Flick snot.
I sank lower in my seat, trying to avoid the teacher’s gaze. “I feel really sick right now, Mr. Dallin.”
“What’s wrong?” He lowered his gaze, smirking. “Girl thing?”
Okay, if that’s what you think, Dallin, I’ll go for it. I placed my hand on my stomach and leaned forward in pain. “I just don’t think I can get up right now.”
“Jacob, get up here and hand these out.”
I could see the backs of Jacob’s ears turning red. He slowly turned, and narrowing his eyes he mouthed, “You owe me.”
Poor Jacob. Poor me. I kept striking out with him. I frantically searched through my backpack, hoping he’d forgive me if I let him use my anti- bacterial lotion. Besides, I didn’t like the idea of “The Love of My Life” encrusted in boogers.
Using the tips of his fingers, Jacob placed the test on my desk and scowled before moving on. Other girls in class were getting out their lotion and lathering up their hands as they reached for their tests.
Girls always come prepared. Guys never think of this stuff. Frankie leaned over, smiling, and pointed to the lotion I’d placed on my desk. “Hey, can I use some of that?”
“Help yourself. Do you think Jacob is mad at me?”
“Don’t worry about him.” He winked and handed back the bottle. “He’ll get over it.”
Jacob took the lotion from me when he returned. Bending over my desk, he whispered, “Don’t think this gets you off the hook.”
I shivered at the feel of his warm breath in my ear. The feel of him so near was frightening, yet exciting.
I had a hard time concentrating on the test, especially since I had to recall information while trying not to touch the paper. It was a difficult task. I ended up touching the test several times. By the end of the exam, I was almost out of lotion.
“Time’s up. Now pass your test to the person who sits behind you. If you’re in the last row, pass your paper to the front. We’re grading these in class.”
Aaugghh, does the torture never end? Was I to touch all of Dallin’s boogers before the period was through?
As I reached for Jacob’s test, he grabbed my hand, pulling me closer. Was this the moment I’d been waiting for? Was Jacob about to declare his love? I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in anticipation.
“This is a good time to pay me back. I didn’t exactly read the book. An A would be nice, but I’d settle for an A minus.”
Had I just heard him right? Did Jacob expect me to cheat for him? Before I had time to respond, I was ready to melt, feeling the warm pressure of Jacob’s hand in mine. I looked into his big brown eyes, waiting, hoping. Then I felt the hard, slick object he placed in my hand.
“Use my pen if you need to change anything. Try not to write like a girl.”
Wait a minute, I hadn’t agreed to this. First, he made me throw away his referral, now I had to cheat for him. I wanted Jacob to like me, but I didn’t like the sinking feeling in my gut, the feeling of being used.
****
“So what’d you do?” Krysta batted her eyes at me from over the top of her Cosmo. I couldn’t see the rest of her face. She was probably using the magazine to conceal a smile.
I looked out the window, not wanting to witness my friends’ reactions. “I cheated for him.”
“No way!” AJ leaned into me from the seat in front of us. I could hear her ponytail flapping in the breeze from the open window. “Sophie’s a baaad girl.” She let out a mocking laugh.
“Shut up!” I wanted to grab her ponytail and throw her out the window, but I knew I’d probably regret it later.
“What’d you give him?” Krysta leaned forward, a slight frown knitting her brow, her voice dropping to barely audible.
“An A.”
I barely whispered this, but their resounding squeals let me know they’d heard.
AJ jumped up from her seat, almost falling forward and into my lap. “What did he really get?”
“He missed every question.”
“Sounds like a real winner.” AJ sank into her seat again and rolled her eyes. “Lazy in sports, lazy in school.”
I focused my gaze on her smug expression. “Just ‘cause he sits the bench, doesn’t make him lazy. That’s the coach’s decision.”
“Yeah,” AJ jabbed, “and the coach decided to sit Jacob because he’s lazy.”
“You have a serious attitude problem and I am seriously tired of it.” I folded my arms across my chest. “I like Jacob, AJ, and I don’t like you talking crap about him.”
“Sorry, I’ve been on edge.” AJ’s shoulders slumped and she hunched over in her seat.
“Yeah,” I said. “Just a little.”
“You’d be too if you had a mother like mine.” AJ had a point, even though she had a bad way of relieving stress.
“Let’s get back to the subject, Sophie.” Krysta grabbed my elbow. “Did he at least thank you for fixing his test?”
“Yeah, he thanked me.”
AJ piped up again. “I think he’s using you.”
“I’m not stupid,” I snapped at AJ. “I know I’m being used.”
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Krysta squeezed my arm again. Her big brown eyes showed genuine concern. “Are you just going to keep cheating for him?”
“No.” I threw my head back and heaved a sigh. AJ narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to pry into his mind, are you?”
“No, AJ,” I hissed, “I will not use my gift to find out what other people think of me. Truthfully, I really don’t want to know what other people are thinking about me, especially you right now.”
“So,” Krysta butted in, changing the subject. “How will you find out if he’s using you?”
I smiled at Krysta. “I had Dallin two years ago as a sub. My sisters had him, too.”
Krysta quirked an eyebrow. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“He gives pop quizzes every week,” I explained, “and each time we either pass our tests to the front or back.”
Krysta’s eyes widened. “Ooohhhh yeeeahhhh. I see, now. So, next time Jacob will grade your test.”
Although I didn’t want Jacob to use me, I would be crushed if I discovered he had no feelings for me. Still, I had no choice but to find out. Love sucks. “I might have to get a few wrong on purpose, just to see if he’ll cheat for me. The only problem is I never know which way Dallin will make us pass our tests.”
Krysta scratched her head in contemplation. “What are you going to do if Jacob passes his test to you again? Will you change his grade?”
That was an option I didn’t want to consider, but Krysta forced it out in the open. The nagging question would haunt me. “I don’t know, Krysta. I just don’t know.”
Things would have been much easier for me if I didn’t have a conscience. Unfortunately, when my parents raised me, they taught me honesty. I had to find out if Jacob liked me, and other than reading his mind, I saw this as the only way. The question was, after all this lying and cheating for him, would I still like myse
lf?
Chapter Seven
“I don’t get it.” Looking at Mrs. Stein’s dry-erase board, I rubbed my throbbing temples.
AJ threw down her pen and rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you get it?”
“I don’t know why.” I couldn’t hide the irritation in my voice. Algebra was to me what AJ’s mom was to her, a nagging pain in the butt. “If I knew why, I’d probably get it.”
“Sophie, let me see your equation.” Mrs. Stein walked over, her algebra book clutched closely to her chest.
The way she carried that thing around all the time, I’d swear it was her child.
“I didn’t finish it, Mrs. Stein.” I hated to disappoint my favorite teacher, but I really felt like an idiot when it came to math.
“What’s the matter?” Her soft, kind eyes scanned my face, and then trailed off in the direction of the scribble I’d written on the board.
“I don’t get it.” It didn’t help I couldn’t focus in class. But how could I? Lately, Mrs. Stein’s moods had been invading my mind, causing me to lose focus on the lesson. Although I couldn’t hear what she was thinking, I could sense something wasn’t right with my teacher.
Mrs. Stein smiled reassuringly. “You need to find the ‘Y’.”
“I found it.” I pointed to my equation. “It’s a letter. It’s on the board.”
“Duh, Sophie,” AJ laughed. “What does it stand for?”
I was beyond frustrated. “Why do we need a ‘Y’? Why can’t we just use a number? Letters are for English class.”
Mrs. Stein’s smile thinned. “If we used a number, then you’d have the answer and there’d be nothing to solve.”
I threw down my dry-erase marker and flung myself into Mrs. Stein’s padded chair. She was the only teacher who’d let me get away with that. “I don’t see why learning this is going to help me, anyway.”
“It helps you develop reasoning and logic skills.” Mrs. Stein handed me the marker and pointed to the board. “Try again.”
I dragged my reluctant feet over to the board. I was tired and my brain hurt. I didn’t want to think about algebra anymore. “I don’t see any logic in calling letters numbers.”
Mrs. Stein took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I could tell she was silently counting to ten. I knew there were days when I tried her patience but I really didn’t like algebra. Still, I admired Mrs. Stein for the countless after-school hours she spent tutoring boneheads like me. The fact she never gave up on me was what kept me coming back for more torture.
