“So, Brick. I am going to ask you again. What is this?” She motions from herself to me.
I let out a frustrated sigh. “A date.” I tell her. She laughs, then she leans forward. “I don’t need to be wined and dined, Brick.” Damn if that didn’t hurt something fierce. I did that to her. I should have done more that buy her lunch daily.
“Well maybe I want to do it.” She narrows her eyes at me again. This time I see a flicker of something. Something like hope. I lean closer to her. “Maybe I want to see where this goes.” She takes in a deep breath and holds it for a second before releasing it. She looks at my face searching for something before she speaks.
“Anthony” she stops. Something crosses her face before she continues. “I, uh, I um. I don’t know what to say.” She stumbles over her words. Good it makes me smile, knowing I affect her like this.
I shrug my shoulders as I look down at the worn table. “Just go with the flow.” I tell her. the intake of breath she takes brings my face back up to hers. Her eyes are lined with tears. I don’t know what to do. I feel panic roll into my system. I want to touch her to reassure her that everything is okay, but I don’t know where to start. So, I grab her hand from across the table. I put my foot in my mouth.
“Look, Korey, I like you. I like everything about you. You are a good mom, a good friend to Amy. And I like what we have. I know we both agreed to no strings. But I kind of want to see this through. See where it goes from here.” I tell her while holding her hand. This is as close to my feelings I have said out loud to another person. I feel strange, like I have opened my chest cavity to her. Like I am giving her the chance to take out my heart and stomp on it. It feels to familiar and I don’t like it.
She stares at me for a two count, her blue eyes boring into mine. She gives me a faint smile. Her smile makes my heart rate increase. “I think I might like that.” I feel a smile pull at my lips.
“Good.” Is all I say as Mike puts our burger baskets and beers down in front of us. My eyes never leave her face. I’m giving you this power and you Korey, have no idea how much power I am giving you over me. I know I promised myself I would never give another woman power over me, and I hope like hell for my sake that I am not making a huge mistake.
We eat in a comfortable silence, watching each other. The way Korey eats is cute. For the past month I have watched her, wanting more, than just a quick office fuck. She had said once that the floor wasn’t good enough. So, I quit fucking her on the floor. Hell, I even brought in a fucking mattress for the breakroom. Yeah, I did that after only three fucks. I should have known I was done for.
But I wanted to hold out. Women can be conniving. I waited for her ask for more. To become whiney, to whine that I didn’t take her out. To ask for more, but it never came. She hasn’t even asked for another ride on my bike. Every time I fucked her, I was trying to get her out of my system but it never happened. I only wanted more, at first it was just a scratch to itch. But over the last twenty-five days, it has dawned on me that I wanted more from her. I want her in my house, in my bed. Under me, moaning out my name, asking me for more.
Fuck if I didn’t want her to ask me for more than just a fuck. But she never did. I am pretty sure she never would have either. Maybe that was her play all along. Not ask for more but get me to ask her for more. The realization crosses my mind for a second, but I scoff at the notion that Korey would do something like that.
Annie never whined, but she made it clear that she wanted all of me, and I was only to fast to give it to her. At seventeen I told her I was going to prospect for my dad’s MC. She said she was on board when I started a year later. After I got my patch. I thought I had it all. The brotherhood, the respect from my old man and the women of my dreams. At twenty-two I proposed to her. She laughed at me, and the real woman came out that night. ‘What? would I marry you, Anthony? Huh all you are good for is a ride, a good hard ride. But I want nothing to do with marrying you, or your fucking MC. You love them more than you do me. you have always loved your ‘brothers’ more than me. you aren’t a man, I found one, and he has already made big plans for us. I never loved you Anthony Brigade, never, you were just too easy to trick into loving me. you could have been more, you could have married me. But no you chose this fucking gang over me. Me, Brick, you are giving me up over a bunch of fucking bikers.’ I tried to reason with her. ‘Annie, why are you doing this. I thought we had something, that we had something real.’ She laughed at me, just cackled. ‘Something real, the only real thing you ever had of me was before you became a member of this fucking MC. You lost your chance when you patched in.’ I was reeling at her words, and I was pissed. ‘Then why the fuck did you string me along, all these fucking years. Why didn’t you leave?’ I seethed at her. if she was a man I would have strangled her with my bare fucking hands. ‘Hah, why would I leave, you bought and paid for everything and the sex was good. So why leave when I got a free ride.’ She shrugged her bare shoulders at me. ‘You are an idiot if you think another woman will want you. You may look good, Anthony. But mark my words, no woman wants to be a part of what you have to offer.’
Annie took my heart with her that night and all trust I had for women. Looking at Korey I don’t see a woman like Annie though. She tilts her head at me for a second before she smiles and swipes two of her fries through the mountain of ketchup.
“Are you really going to eat all of that ketchup?” I ask her. she smiles and takes a sip of her beer. “I will have you know, that I will. Besides ranch, Ketchup is the best condiment ever discovered.”
I shake my head at her, disagreeing with her. “No, mustard is the best.” I tell her matter of fact. We have had this argument before.
“Okay, maybe we could mix the two together.” She tried to keep a straight face. I grimace at the thought of mixing the two together. She picks up the mustard from the table and adds a healthy helping to her ketchup. She mixes them and swipes a fry through the abomination of a mixture and moans as she chews.
“Holy fuck, you have to try this.” She says as she swipes a fry through the mixture and holds it out for me. I eye it skeptically; I narrow my eyes at her and take the fry in my mouth. I chew expecting it to be disgusting. But the sweet and sour mixing together actually tastes pretty good. “Okay, you got me. It tastes okay.” I tell her with a smirk. “You ready to get out of here?”
she smiles at me, God she is so beautiful. “Yeah”
When we get up, I grab her hand, something so little as hand holding wakes my cock up. I try to get us out of the restaurant before she notices how easy I am getting riled up. Once we get outside, I pull her to me and kiss her lips, tasting the ketchup and mustard odd but good combination. She moans into my mouth. “Fuck woman.” I breathe against her lips. She smiles against my lips as I devour her.
“Take me away, Brick.” She breathes against me. That is all the incentive I need. I release her and pull her to my bike. I swing my leg over the bike, relishing in the pain from my cock straining against my jeans. Korey gets on and holds onto my waist tightly.
Starting the engine, I look up and see our reflection in the restaurant window. Korey looks sexy as hell with her aviator sunglasses on. Her pink hair blowing in the wind. A huge smile on her face as she rests her head against my shoulder. And me, well I have a smile that matches hers.
Damn it I am royally fucked. I back the bike out and put it in gear pointing us in the direction of home, my too big house for one.
Chapter 14
Korey
I couldn’t believe that Brick wanted to see where this, us, was going to go. I didn’t want to get my hopes up when he asked me out to eat with him. In the four weeks I have been working for him, we only had what I secretly called lunch dates. Sure, we would fuck while we waited on the food. Then eat and fuck again before the shop closed for the night. When I finally got the courage to ask more about him, he gave me what I craved.
But I wasn’t looking for ‘us’ to go anywhere. I knew where we st
ood with each other. Our bodies just fit. We were good at fucking that was for sure. We learned a little bit about each other. Like Brick, lived his life for the MC. I got that, that was his family, where his fealty was. I didn’t expect him to leave his MC for me. I wouldn’t ask him to, he wouldn’t be Brick. And let’s face it, I was kind of falling for my fuck buddy/boss/my brother’s friend. I was stupid for falling for him, especially when I know I could be making a huge mistake. Not just for my heart, but for my kids. Sean has been asking me for the past two weeks if he would ever have a daddy again. Several times this past week, my thoughts drifted to Anthony Brick Brigade.
I have no right to want that. Brick has so much on his own plate right now. He has the club, his brothers. He doesn’t have time for me or my kids. Let’s not even go into my emotional baggage I try to keep under lock and key. I know I am a means to an end, a toy, that one day all the tricks will be played out, and then what. If my heart continues on this self-destructive path, I will be left with nothing but pieces.
But when Brick asked if we could see where we go after this. My stupid heart flipped flopped in my chest. I wanted to jump up and down and yell for the whole world to hear my answer. But the rational part of brain, wanted to shoot him down and tell him in nine years and eleven months we could.
Before I could say something to deny him, he told me to just go with the flow, it was like Grams was sitting in front of me. I relented and agreed to see where we would go. I already knew, that I was giving him the power to destroy me. By agreeing to this, my heart was already latching on to him, dreaming big dreams that wouldn’t come true. He is going to destroy me, one touch at a time, one word at a time. I will never be the same after this. I will be lucky if when this is over that I can stand on my own.
Riding on the back of his bike resting my head on his shoulder, letting him take me away. I wonder if he knows, that he has the power to make me whole or leave a hole the size of Texas in my heart. I had just recently gone from broken pieces to being almost whole again. I don’t want to be broken again, but nothing ever comes at an easy price. Nothing in this world comes for free.
He shifts to a lower gear as we turn down a familiar road. He pulls into an all too familiar driveway. He shuts off the bike. And I look at my surroundings. The house I didn’t notice the last time we were here.
The green shutters against the cabin like house looks inviting and serene against the backdrop of the lake. I get off and look around. “Brick, where are we?” I ask him. Looking from the house to him. He slides his sunglass up on top of his head, as he brings his hand to the back of neck. “uh, this is my house.” He gives me a bright smile as he gets off the bike.
He brought you to his house. Wow, this is a huge step. My traitorous heart wishes. “I like it.” I tell him, smiling back at him. Seeing this tough outlaw biker, looking sheepish almost brings me to my knees. Listening to him talk about his brothers I know that he loves each and everyone of them.
I have made the assumption that Anthony Brick Brigade is a man; not just a man, but a real man. He knows what he wants out of this life. He wants to keep his club safe, he wants to keep his brothers close, and of course his first love his bike, and don’t forget the freedom. So, for me to see him have a loss for words, just makes me weak in the knees.
He smiles another smile, and takes my hand as he leads me to the porch stairs. My heart rate kicks up as he unlocks the door. He holds the door open for me to enter. When I get inside I realize how big his house is. It is a two story house, the living room opens up to a huge kitchen. Stairs at the kitchen go up to the next story. The living room has an overstuffed but comfy looking dark suede couch. The TV he has is huge, like at least seventy-two inches big. “Wow, Brick. Your house is huge.” I tell him. He burst out laughing.
“Yeah, I kind of bought it, it was cheap.” He shrugged his shoulders as he walked past me to the kitchen. He pulled out a bottle of red wine from the refrigerator. I narrowed my eyes at him. I doubted he was a wine drinker.
I set my purse down on the bar that separates the kitchen from the living room. He hands me a stemless wine glass and pulls out a beer for himself. I take a sip of the wine and take Brick in as the bar separates us. It feels awkward being in his personal space. I feel out of place, like I don’t belong here. A feeling of sadness washes over me. I investigate my glass of wine, praying that he doesn’t catch on to my feelings for him.
“So, you like Redding so far?” He asks casually.
“Yeah, so far it seems to hold my interests.” I tell him with a smile. A certain hot tattoo artist, that happens to be the president of a local MC keeps my interests for all the wrong reasons. Here I am crushing and falling deeper in the ocean that is him. I should want to stay here for my brother, and a new start; but here I am wanting to stay for him.
“Yeah, good. Have you looked in the schools around here yet?” His question catches me off guard. I give a half laugh at my last memory of the last school my kids were in.
He gives me a look that says what. “Well, I haven’t really. The last school wasn’t too nice to my kids.” I take another sip as I think of Mrs. Butts to try and wash the disgusted taste from my mouth.
“How so.” His head tilts to the side as he looks me up and down. I should feel violated with the smoldering look in his eyes, but I don’t.
“Well” I start trying to keep the anger out of my voice. “When you live in a small town, and your ex convinces the whole town, that it is your fault that he cheated. That I was one who wrecked our home. Well the town doesn’t take it too lightly. And kids can be brutal.” I shrug like it doesn’t matter. Like I don’t still have a raw spot.
“Damn, that is fucked up.” Brick replies. ‘What did the kids do?” he has taken back on his don’t fuck with me stance. I have found it to be less irritating and instead sexier over past month. It is like a show if dominance that I have never craved before. All of a sudden, I realize that I want him to dominate me, that I am willing to submit to anything he wants. I take in a deep breath. My anger fading as my thoughts turn to other thoughts, thoughts of Brick staying with me and being a part of our lives for the long term.
“Um, let’s see, Sadie was called a whore, Sean was a twat. Their mom, me, well I was a bad person because I was different.”
“You’re not a bad person, Korey.” He dead pans at me. the last of my anger fades as I look at his serious face, he is still in his dominate stance looking right back at me.
In spite of myself I laugh a small laugh. I look back into the red liquid. “Yeah, well look at me Brick. I dyed my hair pink; I have tattoos and big holes in my ears. To a small town I am the freak show parent. I am the crazy woman of the town, the one parents warn their daughters not to grow up to be like.” I could hear the moms at the local grocery store telling their daughters ‘Suzie that is not what you grow up to be like. That is not a real lady. A real lady doesn’t do that to her body.’ Deep down it hurt, but I knew this was me, I truly wanted to be different, have a different lifestyle. I just didn’t realize the lifestyle I secretly craved before was on the back of a bike and in a biker’s bed.
“Not the way I see it. I bet the old bittys were mad because their husbands were calling your name in the sack. And the mothers well secretly they wanted to be you.” When I looked up at him, he had a serious expression on his face. ‘Your ex’s loss my gain.” He shrugged his shoulders like that was it.
“Oh, he has jokes.” I smirk at him.
“I wasn’t joking. Korey you are every man’s wet fucking dream. You don’t give a fuck what other people think, you take care of business with no fucks to give.” But I do care what you think about me. I think dangerous thoughts.
The wine in my glass is gone. “Well, at what point, does it do me any good?” I ask defensively. My don’t give a fuck attitude is the only defense I have against the world. But a lot of good it has done me. I have very few friends, I can’t keep a man in my bed, every man’s wet dream for how long. If B
rick only knew that my husband hated the idea of me under him.
I make a grab for the wine bottle and Brick takes it away from me. He comes around the bar and looks down at me. He doesn’t have a smile on his face. “And what do you want Korey? What do you want the most out this life?”
My head spins at the change of the subject. What do I want, hell what does every woman want to be loved for who she is? To find strength in her weakness. To be happy, to keep her kids safe. Brick, to have Brick as my own. That last thought made my head spin more that his question.
“I, uh, I don’t know.” I answer him looking down. I can’t look at him. I might accidentally answer his question truthfully. His finger brings my chin up to look at him. “What do you want Korey.” He states, looking in his brown eyes, searching my face, he is so close I feel his breath on my face. My guard falls down to the floor and my answer leaves before I can stop it. “Brick, I want you. I want everything.”
The shock of my word shows on his face. “Babe, I can’t give you everything.”
“I know.” I whisper still looking into his eyes. I know he can’t give me himself. It is asking for too much. I want too much. The thought that I am risking losing what we have makes my breath hitch.
“Fuck it.” Brick says as his lips crash down on mine. The kiss isn’t gentle, it is a kiss that suggest so much more. Desperate, that is what this is. Desperate for me take back my words. I didn’t tell him I loved him. But I might as well have. Do I love him? I know I have fallen for him and hard. Hell, I don’t even know what love is anymore.
His hands fist in my hair as my hand fist in his shirt to bring him closer. He feels like a lifeline for me right now. I want to remember this kiss, because I am sure this will be the last one.
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