“TRISP? I like it.”
Her smile is back, but it’s a sad one now. “The more we look into how mania works, the more it becomes obvious that it has different levels in different vampires, and that it can be controlled. Me for instance?” She touches her own chest. “I have a pretty easy, safe, and comfortable job. My chances of succumbing to mania are pretty slim, unless it’s hunger induced mania. I don’t have battle instincts or people to fight for the way Rayne does. My self-preservation instincts therefore are quite relaxed while hers are off the charts. Probably from such a rough start when she was turned and her life as a police officer before that.”
Her expression becomes thoughtful. Even her tone shifts to take on a lecturing air. “But the same way anger management courses can get people out of trouble, there are techniques one can employ to control how much sway mania claims when it takes hold. There’s even evidence to suggest that in the right circumstances a vampire can experience all the physical advantages of mania without the amnesic complications.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And we wouldn’t know any of this without Rayne. So please, please talk to her. Please?”
“I…” Deep breath. “Fine. For the good it will do, but can I handle this first? I kinda have some rampaging werewolves to deal with.”
Pippa waves a dismissive hand in my direction and begins to walk away. “Fine. I only came to say hello anyway. Go do…whatever it is you’re up to. And don’t get killed.”
I call after her, knowing she can hear me regardless. “I’ll do my best.”
And I’m left at my desk with my mind whirling.
If mania truly can be controlled—
My mobile rings.
“Karson, here.”
“Hey, there you are, boss. Where have you been?”
“Solo? Are you okay? What happened to Chalks? Where are you? Where have you been?”
A chuckle ripples down the line. “Close. It’s Duo, but big bro is here if you want him?”
“I—no. No, it’s fine. I’m glad to know you’re both all right. What happened to you? You went off comms, we couldn’t get to you. What happened with the drone strike?”
“Hey, chill, I’ll tell you all about it, promise. But I’m fine. We all are. More worried about you to be honest. Rayne told us what happened.”
My joy fades a little. “She’s with you?”
“Everyone is. Rayne, big bro, Erkyan, Willow, Hawk. We’re all waiting for you.”
I think back to the list stuffed into my pocket. “You know you’re all in trouble, right? The military is looking for you?”
He grins. I can hear it in his voice. “Why else do you think we’re waiting for you way out here? You gonna join us or what?”
“Sure. Just tell me where ‘out here’ is and I’ll be right there.”
* * *
Be right there? If I knew that “right there” was three miles away I may have been less strong in my bravado. But, now that I’m “debriefed,” I finally have access to SPEAR vehicles once more, so taking one of the vans isn’t an issue. No need to do the journey on foot.
And after all that, when I do finally reach my team, I can’t deny that I’m pleased to see them.
I catch sight of them before they see me, careful to approach from downwind. They’re grouped together outside a cafe, sipping from mugs, quietly chatting.
When I spy Rayne, I find myself hanging back, just for a moment. I want to look at her. I want to see her from a distance and remind myself of what it is I see in her.
Not a difficult task. She’s still beautiful, still perfect. Well…almost perfect.
She notices me before anybody else does—not that I’m surprised—and stiffens mid-sentence. When she turns, it’s with no hesitation or guesswork, simply angling her body to look right at me. The two wolves spot me next.
Duo grins and slaps his brother around the back of the head. A curious way of getting his attention, but it does the job well enough. Solo then dashes toward me. When he scoops me up off the ground and crushes my body against his I can’t help but gasp at the uncharacteristic display of emotion.
When he finally lets my feet drop back to the ground, I step away to get a good look at him. His face is covered in half healed blisters. So too are his hands and neck. Though his eyes are as bright and lively as ever, there is an age there that I’m certain wasn’t there before.
“You’re okay.” He makes it a statement rather than a question.
“So are you. Ish.”
He touches one of the scabbed up marks on his cheek. “This? I’ll be fine. Most of the damage is already gone at this point. But that gas is no joke.”
“What happened when we left?”
He shrugs…and that’s all. Apparently that’s all the answer I’m going to get.
I join him in walking back to the others.
They all greet me in turn, Hawk and Duo slapping my shoulder, Willow grabbing both my hands in hers and squeezing gently. Even Erkyan has some kind words though she trips over them in her usual clumsy way. Then Rayne. She’s the only one who makes no move to touch me. Instead she smiles, a sad half smile, and keeps an even four paces between us.
“You okay?”
Oh boy, that could mean so many things. And there are so many answers. I find myself nodding, carefully avoiding direct eye contact. I have no idea how I’ll cope if I have to meet her gaze right now. If I have to look into her eyes and know she’s no longer mine. Looking at the tip of her nose, yeah, that should be fine.
My team finish greeting me, telling me how pleased they are to see me, and settle into a more business-like gathering around me.
“So what’s next, boss?” Even as he addresses me, Duo stands as close to his brother as he can get without climbing into his arms. He ensures body contact between them too, always putting his arm or his hip against Solo’s.
“First, I guess you need to know we’re off werewolf control.”
The two wolves stand straight. I can almost imagine their tails becoming rigid and their ears sticking up.
“What?”
“Are you serious?”
“What they hell would they do that for?”
The complaints and shocked exclamations come thick and fast. I raise my hands against them.
“I know, I know. I think it’s bullshit just as much as the rest of you, but Kappa isn’t handling it any more. Apparently I’m emotionally compromised.”
Willow waves at me, then flutters her hands through a furious tirade of swearing and disbelief. Most of it is so fast that I only catch snatches, but the meaning is pretty clear though.
“Wendy was dear to all of us in one way or another, but Maury singled me out. I’m the one ‘attached’ to the guy, so we’re all off. He’s given the task to Noel’s team.”
Rayne recovers quickly from her shock. “That’s good. He at least will do everything he can to get to the bottom of it all.”
“But his team is entirely human. They’ll get squashed.” Duo growls under his breath. “What kind of idiot is Maury anyway?”
Solo puts a placating hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Fine. We’re off that case. So what are we supposed to be doing?”
“Sheep herding.” I fish the crumpled note from my pocket. “We’re supposed to be tracking down all agents who haven’t yet been debriefed. But at least I can say I’ve found you all.”
Hawk thumbs his nose. “Edane?”
“Most of them, yes.”
“Not surprising.” Erkyan tugs on one of her long, warty ears. “I hid. And you did. All of us. They want to capture us.”
Rayne shakes her head. “I don’t think it’s as simple as that. They would rather use us if they’re able, under conditions that they set.” She lifts her arm to show off the wristband. “So long as one appears useful and compliant, they’re deemed fit for duty. They won’t phrase it that way, but from the questions they ask, that’s what they’re looking for.”
“Edane puppets and guard dogs. Gross.” Hawk beats his wings hard. “What do they think we are, anyway?”
“Something to be controlled and used. It’s not a new human attitude.” Rayne is still staring at me. Her gaze is starting to warm things low and deep inside me, and soon addressing her nose isn’t going to be enough to help me.
“Well, it’s a shitty attitude and I’m not here to spread it around.” I shove the list back into my pocket. “But…if they really want us hunting for renegades, then I suppose we should get on with it.”
That silences my team. Every one of them, even Duo who usually has plenty to say, stops and stares at me open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
“What?” I give them a small smile. “You saw for yourself, most of these agents are edane, and if you look super close, a lot of them are werewolves. I’d say we have a few packs to visit.”
Silence. Then Hawk laughs out loud and slaps his hand against his thigh. “I should have known. I should have known you’d find a way.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I tell him.
But soon enough we’re all laughing, and a rush of warmth and affection flows through me for this merry band of renegade misfits. These guys, these are the people I love and care for. As much as Wendy, in fact.
Once more a curl of sadness worms through my insides. I push it away with a mental grunt.
This isn’t the end of Wendy. I’ll make sure he didn’t die for nothing. Aleksandar and this Blood Moon pack are all going to pay for the damage they’ve caused.
Willow signs at me again. “Where do you want to start? I hear the Dire Wolves don’t like you much.”
“Agreed, they don’t, but we won’t get answers there anyway.”
Duo lifts his hand. “Did I hear right? Is there a bounty on you?”
“Yup.”
He whistles through his teeth. “Well, well. You have been busy. We leave you alone for a second and you have a whole pack after you? You’re a danger to yourself.” His words are firm, but his tone is anything but, and his lips are drawn back into a wide smile. “Maybe we should do this in one big group.”
“No time. We have to split up, take a pack each.”
“Fair enough. Big bro and I will speak with the Fire Fang. Makes the most sense.”
“Good call.” I unlock the van and point out the groupings. “Fine. You two speak with Fire Fang. We need to know anything they’ve heard about Blood Moon—who they are, where they came from, what they’re doing here, all of it.”
Duo arches an eyebrow. “And look for any of the agents on the list?”
“Of course.”
Another chuckle. “Fine. Hey, bro, wanna tell the little ones we’re coming home?”
Solo nods his agreement and closes his eyes, that strange posture he takes on when looking into himself. At least I understand it now. I had thought that the link between him and Duo was a result of their being twins. But if they really are part of Fire Fang, then it’s not just each other they can speak to. The telepathy of that pack links them all with a curious bond like to a hive mind that can stretch across hundreds of miles.
Can’t imagine what it must be like to be forever aware of someone else, multiple someones in fact, and to sometimes hear their thoughts without a filter.
The thought sends my gaze skipping over to Rayne who, as usual, is watching me.
I sigh.
“Okay, you two do that. Hawk, you take Erkyan and Willow to see the Long Tooths.”
Erkyan sighs. “I must have to?”
“Unless you’d prefer to visit the Loup Garou?”
She shudders. “No, no. We see the long teeth ones. Hope no eating this time.”
I offer her as comforting a smile as I can muster and bend low to whisper in her ear. “You’ll be fine. They were just messing with us last time. They wouldn’t dare eat you.” I say it in Goblin, or as close as I can get with my rusty skills in that arena. “Besides, that’s why Willow and Hawk are going with you.”
She grunts, but nods her agreement, also replying in her first language. “Fine, but if they come near me, I’ll slice their ears off.”
“That’s the spirit.” I switch back to English, clap her on the shoulder, and then turn my attention to Rayne.
I hadn’t intended to leave myself paired with her, but given that the team is always split this way, I should have guessed. Habit more than anything has left me paired up with my ex.
Wow. Ex. Just thinking of her that way twists my stomach into painful knots.
She tilts her head at me. “So Loup Garou for us?”
“Yeah. And…uh…we’ll take the van. I wanted to talk to you anyway.”
One delicate eyebrow arches toward her hairline. “Really? Very well, Danika. Let’s go.”
She opens the passenger door to the van without another word, and starts to adjust the seat to suit her small frame.
My companions offer me wide-eyed, questioning stares.
Willow forms more symbols with her fingers. “Are you well? You both seem distant and upset.”
I open my mouth to speak then switch to sign instead. “We’re fine. Just need to talk about some pigs.”
Erkyan snorts.
Willow frowns. “Pigs?”
“Things.” I mutter out loud. “Give me a break, okay, I’m still learning. Talking about things. Things, things.”
She giggles but doesn’t tease any further. Instead she gestures to Hawk who just grins. He seems more than ready to take to the skies again and the meagre weight of both Willow and Erkyan will be no hindrance to him. With a smile and a wave, he is airborne within seconds, carrying the pair of them southwest to where the Long Tooth wolves have made their base.
Solo and Duo share a look, then set off together. They don’t shift, simply fall into a gentle running pace, heading south toward the edge of the city where the Fire Fangs are based in the countryside.
Then, it’s just the two of us. Rayne and I, looking at each other with that gulf of four paces still loitering between us.
“I—”
She lifts a hand. “We have work to do. If you really want to skirt around the edge of Agent Cruush’s orders, then fine. I’ll follow you like I always have. But be prepared for the backlash.”
“From who?”
“Agent Cruush. Colonel Addington. Noel. Pick one.”
“Noel will understand. He’s my friend.”
Rayne nods. “Mm-hmm.” And with that cryptic response, she climbs into the now adjusted passenger seat.
I follow, sliding into the driver’s side and slamming the door. My heart is pounding, my mouth dry, and yet I’ve no idea what to say.
Pippa’s voice rings in my mind, over and over, telling me to smooth things out, talk it over, make it work. But Rayne sits as far away from me as she possibly can, leaning against the window glass to widen the space between us.
It abruptly feels cold and lonely in this narrow metal box.
With a sigh, I put the van in gear and start us moving. How do I stand any chance of fixing the mess I’ve made when Rayne won’t even engage?
The thought fills my head as I drive northeast.
Chapter Twenty-seven
We drive north and through Angbec.
In each direction we turn there are signs that things aren’t as calm and peaceful as they once were. The military presence is less strong away from the centre of town and areas like the West End, but there are still soldiers on the streets.
But at least out here there are civilians too. The rampaging wolves clearly never made it this far, and human locals go about their daily business. So strange to think that a bare five miles away, the streets and stores are on lockdown.
I spy one or two drones as we progress. These are smaller ones and don’t seem to have the same offensive capability as those used close to Misona. Instead they are light and nippy, flying around at street level rather than across roofs.
“It’s like a whole new country.” Rayne’s voice is so
ft, barely there, but I know she intends me to hear her.
I nod but keep my eyes on the road. “This is what all of Angbec should be like.”
“Upper-class, stuck up, and cut off to edanes?”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
She twirls an invisible pattern across the dashboard with the tip of her finger. “Part of the reason it’s so quiet here is because this is a wealthy area. Most edanes can’t afford to live here unless they’re old. And if they are that old they have better things to do than cause trouble. Do you have any sense of how many vampires live out here?”
“Some.”
“A lot,” she mutters. “And you would never know. Not old enough to walk by day like Vixen occasionally did, but old enough to know how to live inconspicuously.”
I drum my fingers against the steering wheel and pull the van around a right turn. “Is this really what you want to talk about?”
“Touché.”
“Oh, come on, Rayne. Please. Are we really going to let it end this way?”
“It has already ended.”
“No. No, it hasn’t. It doesn’t have to. Please, can we talk about this?”
“And say what?”
Her monosyllabic answers are starting to grate on me. I grit my teeth against the urge to cut back with something sharp and inhale for a slow count of ten.
“You’re getting better at that.”
“Screw you, Rayne. Don’t patronize me right now.”
“I’m not. I’m encouraging you.”
“Fuck’s sake.” I wrench the wheel to the left, mounting the curb with the two near tyres. A stab at the big, triangular button on the wheel sets my hazard lights blinking, and I swivel in my seat. “Look at me, Rayne.”
She does, at once, and oh, holy hell, it cuts right through me.
I swallow past the sudden spiky lump of emotion at the back of my throat. “I fucked up. I know I did. But you have to let me fix it. Please give me a chance to prove myself.”
“But there’s nothing to prove. I. Am. Dangerous. That’s a simple fact and every instinct that makes you an excellent SPEAR agent is telling you that. It’s wrong to fight it.”
“Pip told me what you’ve been doing.”
Moon Fever Page 25
