Lucy's apprehension had returned. “Then why did you want to talk to me alone? What about?”
Nealy's chest rose; her arms fell to her sides. “I want to adopt you and Button.”
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Nealy had planned to approach Lucy privately about this, but since Mat wouldn't let her, she pretended he didn't exist. Lucy stared at her as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Nealy smiled and repeated herself.
“I want to adopt the two of you.”
“You ... you do?” Lucy's voice squeaked on the last word.
“Don't you think we should have talked about this first?” Mat uncoiled from the couch vertebra by vertebra.
Lucy hadn't taken her eyes off her. “You don't mean both of us. Button and . . . me.”
“Of course I mean both of you.”
Mat swept the sleeping baby into his arms. “Nealy, I want to talk to you.”
She ignored him. “The thing is, you're going to have to think very hard about this because a lot of bad stuff will happen if you go with me, and I won't be able to do anything about it.”
Lucy's eyes were wide. “What do you mean? How could anything bad happen?”
Nealy rose and walked over to the ottoman at the foot of Lucy's chair. “I'm a public figure, and that won't go away, even when I'm no longer First Lady.“ She sat down and took Lucy's hand, rubbed her slim, cold fingers. ”We'll be connected, so lots of people will be waiting for you to do something wrong.”
Lucy's throat worked as she swallowed. “I don't care about that.”
“You'll care. Believe me. It's a terrible thing to lose your privacy, and that's what you'll be doing. You'll have Secret Service following you everywhere—when you're with your friends, the first time you're on a date, wherever you want to go. You'll never be able to go anywhere by yourself.”
“You did.”
“This has only been temporary. I knew from the beginning that I'd have to go back to my real life.” She rubbed Lucy's knuckles. “And it's not just the big things in your life that will be destroyed; it's the little things, too. Think about how much you love going to the mall. You won't be able to do that without causing all kinds of trouble, and pretty soon you'll realize it's not worth it. You're going to miss things like that a lot.”
“I never said I had to go to malls.”
Nealy needed to make her understand exactly what she was walking into. “Wait until you screw up Luce, because that won't be just between the two of us. The whole world will know about it.”
Mat took a step closer to the windows, Button limp in his arms, his expression growing more foreboding. He should be her partner in this, not her adversary, and her resentment deepened.
She returned her attention to Lucy. “If you curse in public, or talk too loud, or decide to go back to that awful purple hair, it's going to end up in the newspapers, and then everybody will starting criticizing you. One day you'll turn on the television, and some psychologist will be analyzing your personality for all of America.”
“That blows.”
Her words had finally penetrated. “It really does. And it'll happen, I promise you.”
“Did people say a lot of bad things about you in the newspaper while you were growing up?”
'“Not too much.”
“Then why do you think they'll say them about me?”
She gave Lucy a sympathetic smile. “Don't take this the wrong way, but I was an angel compared to you. My father wouldn't have had it any other way. And that's another big problem. My father.”
“Is he mean?”
"Not mean, but he can be very difficult. He's a big part of my life, though, so you'll be stuck with him, too. And even if I tell him not to, he'll give you lectures about how you have to set an example. When you do something wrong, he has this way of looking at you that makes you feel bad about yourself.
He'll always be comparing the way you are to the way I was, and he'll make sure you come up short. You're not going to like him very much, but you'll still have to put up with him."
Lucy's chest quivered as she took a breath. “You really mean it, don't you? You'd adopt us like . . . forever?”
“Oh, sweetheart, I know this is what you think you want more than anything, but it's not going to be easy. And here's the thing . . . you have to make this decision for two people, not just for yourself.”
“For Button, too.”
Nealy nodded. “At least you'll remember what it was like to live as a normal person, but public life will be the only life she'll know. And I promise you, the day will come when she'll blame you for that.”
Lucy studied her for a long time. “You're really serious?”
“I'm serious. Unfortunately, you don't have much time to think it over, even though this is probably the biggest decision you'll ever make.”
“My mind's already made up.” She jumped up. “We're coming with you!”
Nealy wasn't surprised, and she almost wanted Mat to object, but when she glanced at him, his expression was stony.
“Go get your things together,” she said quietly. “We have to leave soon.”
Lucy rushed toward the door, only to stop. “There's something you should know. Button's name. It's really ...” She grimaced. “It's ... Beatrice.”
Nealy managed a smile. “Thanks for telling me.”
For a moment Lucy simply stood there, and then those abused fingernails shot to her mouth. “I know why you want to adopt Button—because she's so cute and everything. But...” She withdrew her fingers, picked at her thumb. Her voice became small and defenseless. “Why do you want to adopt me?”
Nealy rose from the ottoman. “Because I love you, Luce.”
“That's so bogus.” Despite her words, she looked puzzled instead of belligerent. “How could you love me after what I just did?”
“Because you're you. 1 guess you're the kid I always wanted to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“You're brave, and you stand up for yourself. You know what you want out of life, and you're willing to put yourself on the line to get it.”
For once, Lucy was speechless. It didn't last, however, and her expression grew fierce. “I love you, too, Nell. And I promise I won't ever let anybody give you any shit!”
“That's what I'm afraid of.”
The teenager gave her a blazing smile and raced from the sunporch.
Lucy had been so excited that she hadn't even looked at Mat, let alone consulted him. He came toward Nealy.
“I wish you'd talked to me about this first.”
“Why? I'm the answer to your prayers, Mat. In less than an hour, you're going to have everything you want. No females and the story of your life.”
“That's not...” He seemed to be struggling for his words. “I'm not sure this is the best thing for them.”
“I know it's not. Do you have something better in mind?”
He started to sit, then seemed to change his mind. He began to come closer, stopped. For the first time since she'd known him, he looked ungainly, as if those long legs and strong arms didn't belong to him.
“I think ... it's...” He shifted Button from one side to the other. “Yeah, you're right. I don't have anything better in mind. I'll give you the name of the attorney who's been handling this. I'm sure your friends in Washington can straighten everything out with the Pennsylvania Child Services people.”
“I'll get it taken care of.”
“Yoo-hoo!”
Nothing could have told Nealy more clearly that her adventure was over than the sight of Bertis and Charlie standing in the backyard, with Tom detaining them on one side, Jason on the other.
“These people won't let us in!” Bertis exclaimed, waving wildly.
Nealy felt her shoulders sag. This was the world she was thrusting those children into.
“I'm sorry, Nealy.”
Startled, she looked up to see Mat regarding her with something that looked like compas
sion. She didn't want his sympathy, hated him so much at that moment for giving it to her that she could barely manage a shrug. “Life goes on.”
“Yeah, it sure does.”
In the end, he was the one who rescued the Waynes and brought them inside. They'd already figured out Nealy's identity, but when she tried to explain why she'd left Washington, she couldn't manage it, and he took over. He also told them what was happening with the girls. When he was done, Nealy waited for them to change into different people, but Bertis merely shook her head and extended the plate she'd been carrying.
“Have some fudge, you poor thing. It'll make you feel better.”
* * *
As Nealy packed the last of Button's clothes, Lucy flew from one spot in the motor home to another, talking a mile a minute and getting in the way. “. . . do the dishes every night, and take care of Button, and clean my room. I'll clean the whole house—I'll even clean the White House—and I'll—”
The door opened and Mat wedged himself inside. “Luce, Bertis and Charlie are on the sunporch watching Button. Why don't you say your good-byes?”
“I'll invite them to come visit us!” The door banged behind her as she ran outside.
Mat's betrayal clung to Nealy like bitter dust. She turned her attention to packing up the last of Button's rompers.
“The vultures are already descending,” he said. “A patrol car just showed up.”
She placed the stack of clothes inside the suitcase and pretended it didn't matter. Mat moved closer filling up what was left of the floor space. She thought about Dennis and the truth she hadn't quite revealed, but which Mat had, nonetheless, guessed. Before she left, she had to confront him about it.
“What do I have to do to keep you from telling my secrets?”
He regarded her with watchful eyes. “I guess you're going to have to trust me.”
“Why? Never trust the press—one of the first rules I learned.”
“I'm not just the press,” he said tightly. “I'm your friend.”
Her friend. Not her lover. Not her beloved. It shouldn't hurt so much.
She forced herself to remember that she had a legacy to protect and there were larger issues at stake than a broken heart. Maybe she'd mistaken his intention and judged him too harshly. “Does that mean you're not going to write about any of this?”
“I have to,” he said quietly.
She shouldn't have been so devastated, but she was.
“Listen to me, Nealy. The press is going to be in a feeding frenzy. I'm the best protection you've got.”
“Aren't I lucky,” she shot back.
“I could give you a dozen reasons why I have to write this story, but you're not going to listen to any of them, are you? I've been tried and convicted.”
She clenched her fists. “Don't you dare try and take the moral high road! I've seen some slimy journalistic tactics over the years, but you get the prize. Do you always sleep with your big stories?”
“Stop it,” he said tightly.
She fumbled with the zipper on the suitcase. “Get out. I don't have anything more to say to you.”
“Nealy, use your head. Somebody's going to have to set the record straight about where you've been or you'll never have any peace.”
“So you're doing this as a favor?”
“I don't want us to part as enemies.”
“You want us to part friends?” She yanked hard on the zipper. “You'd love that, wouldn't you? As your friend, I'd feel obligated to toss some juicy insider stories your way.”
“Is that what you think of me?”
She was glad that she'd finally provoked his anger because it made everything easier. “You don't want to know what I think of you.”
She grabbed the suitcase and tried to push past him, but he shoved it aside and crushed her to his chest. “Damn it, Nealy!”
His mouth descended on hers. The kiss was painful, a travesty of what they'd shared just that morning. He seemed to realize it, too, and he stopped, rested his forehead against hers. "Don't do this, Nealy.
Don't let it end like this."
She pulled away, needing to hurt him as badly as he'd hurt her. “You were a diversion, Mat. Now it's over.”
The motor home burst open, and Lucy rushed in, too caught up in her own excitement to notice anything was wrong. “Ohmygod, Nell! There are two police cars out there now, and these television guys just showed up! And Toni said they've got a helicopter coming in to a field not too far away. Are we going to ride in it? Ohmygod, I've never been in a helicopter! Do you think Button will get scared? You're going to have to hold her, Mat. Maybe she won't be scared if—”
Right then, it hit her.
She stared at Mat, her mouth still partially open, and even as she asked the question, she seemed to know the answer because she was shaking her head. “You're coming with us, aren't you?”
“No. No, I'm not.”
All the light went out of her eyes. “You have to! Tell him, Nell. Tell him he has to!”
“Lucy, you know Mat can't come with us. He has a job. Another life.”
“But... I guess you can't live with us, but you'll come visit us all the time, won't you? You'll come see us next week or something.”
He took a ragged breath. “Sorry, Luce. I'm afraid not.”
“What do you mean? You have to! Not to see me, but Button . . . you know how she is. She doesn't understand things, and . . .” She drew a jagged breath. “She thinks you're her dad.”
His voice sounded hoarse. “She'll forget about me.”
Lucy spun toward Nealy. “Tell him he can't do this, Nell. I know you're mad at him, but tell him he can't just go away like this.”
Nealy wouldn't let her own bitterness spoil Lucy's memories of Mat. “He has things he needs to do Lucy. He's busy, and he has to get back to his real life.”
“But—” Her eyes returned to him. “But you two guys love each other. 1 know you've been fighting a lot lately, but everybody fights. It doesn't mean anything. You're gonna want to see each other again.”
Nealy barely managed to keep her voice steady. “We don't love each other. I know it's hard for you to understand, but we're very different people. We just happened to have been thrown together by peculiar circumstances.”
“I'll write you letters,” Mat said. “I'll write you a lot.”
“I don't want your dumb letters!” Her face contorted. “Don't even bother sending them! If you don't want to come see us, then I won't ever talk to you again!”
Eyes brimming with tears, she ran from the motor home.
Even though Nealy wanted him to hurt, she didn't want it to be like this. “I'm sure she'll change her mind.”
His expression was stony. “It's better this way.”
* * *
While Nealy made her final preparations, Mat stood in the yard engaged in an angry conversation with Jason Williams about the circus that was gathering. She hadn't spoken to him since he'd stormed out of the motor home half an hour earlier. There was nothing left to say.
Through the living room window, she saw curious neighbors crowding their front yards trying to see why the street had been blocked off. Even though only one television news crew had been lucky enough to be close by, she knew it wouldn't be long before the small town was invaded by media representatives from all over the world.
Their shabby suitcases had been loaded into one of the patrol cars, along with several plastic grocery sacks filled with Lucy's Walkman, Button's toys, and other precious objects that couldn't be left behind. Unfortunately, that included Squid.
Nealy walked toward Lucy, who was holding Button, while Bertis and Charlie hovered nearby. Her conscience urged her to make one last attempt. “Take a look out the window, Luce. This is what you're getting yourself into.”
“I already looked, and I don't care.” Despite her brave words, she was obviously shaken, and she drew Button closer.
“You still have time to change your mind. I'll
do everything I can to make certain both of you are placed with a good family.”
Lucy gazed up, her expression imploring. “Please, Nell. Don't give us back.”
Nealy surrendered. “I won't, kiddo. From now on, both of you are mine. For better or for worse.”
“Now, Lucy, don't you forget to write,” Bertis said. “And you need to start eating more vegetables. I should have made you my green bean casserole.”
Nealy tried not to think about the man she'd fallen in love with as she gave them a hug. “Thank you for everything. I'll call. Are you ready, Luce?”
Lucy swallowed hard and nodded.
“We can do this one of two ways. We can make a run for the car, so we don't have to face anybody right now, or we can hold up our heads, smile at the cameras, and show the world that we don't have anything to hide.”
“Da!”
Mat came in the front door. Nealy wasn't going to be spared.
His eyes found hers—the same gray eyes she'd gazed into this morning as his body moved inside her own. She wanted to cry until she couldn't cry anymore, to scream at him because she loved him and he didn't love her back. Instead, she arranged her features in a blank, polite mask.
He flinched, then went to Lucy and Button. Brushing his thumb over the baby's cheek, he said, “You give 'em hell, Demon.”
He gazed down at Lucy, but her expression was a heartbreak happening and he didn't try to touch her. Nealy swallowed and looked away.
“You watch out for yourself, ace. And try to behave.”
Lucy bit down on her lip and looked away.
Finally he moved toward Nealy, but everyone was watching them, and there was nothing left to say. His eyes clouded, and his voice had a rasp. “Have a good life, Nealy.”
She managed a stiff nod, turned to Lucy, and took the baby. Then she stepped back into the world she knew too well.
Cornelia Case had come in from the cold.
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“HOLLINGS HAS BEEN IN THE SENATE FOR TWELVE years, Cornelia! I forbid you to go any farther with this nonsense.”
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