by Nana Malone
My brows snapped down, and the truth tumbled out before I could stop it. "You know she hates that nickname, right?"
Lucas lifted his head and pinned me with a dark gaze. "Oh, you mean being called Red? I know. The question is how do you know?"
Fuck. Fucking fuck.
I clamped my jaw tight, working the muscles to keep my lips from moving. I just couldn’t keep my goddamn mouth shut. If I kept it shut, there would be no problem. But oh no, blabbity-blab. "I just figured, red hair, just like big guys hate to be called Tiny or Big Guy."
Lucas shook his head, for once completely serious. "Oh my God, you already have boned!"
"No, we haven't." My voice was tight, and it came out more of a growl than anything.
Oh yeah, way to go. Way to throw him off the scent.
"Oh, come on, cousin, you can tell me. I'm a vault as you know. Or we can wait until Sebastian and Roone catch a whiff of this. And then there will be no rest for the wicked."
I groaned. "Lucas, can't you just let it go?"
"Nope. As long as it doesn't have anything to do with whatever you need to learn the sleight-of-hand stuff for," he waved his hand in my general direction, "I need to know. She's your Knight now. She's literally your bodyguard. I mean, I think you want her guarding your body, if you catch my meaning." He winked.
"Oh my God, shut it. We are not having this conversation."
"Oh, we are, or should I call Sebastian to come down here and ask all the questions?" He grinned at me. It was pure evil. And he had me dead to rights. He was helping me. He hadn't asked any questions about why I needed to learn sleight of hand, or why I might need to become the perfect thief, or what I needed my new skill set for.
Not one question, and he'd kept his word. He hadn't said anything to Sebastian or Roone. Hell, I didn't even know if he’d told his fiancée he was tutoring me. But this, this was just too interesting for him. He wanted answers, and he wasn't going to stop until he had them. "Nobody knows, Lucas."
"Even better. A secret I can lord over people."
"No. There will be no lording over anyone, or I won't tell you. It doesn't matter who you call down here. I won't say a word."
He groaned. "Fine. But that's just because I love gossip."
I scrubbed my hand over my face as my fingers tried again to force the card to slip and hide. No luck.
"I met Ariel by mistake, actually."
"When?"
"Ten years ago... nearly eleven."
His brows drew up. "What?"
"I was home from boarding school for the summer. My dad saw that I couldn't stand being at the palace."
Lucas frowned at this. "What? I mean, I knew that you went to boarding school most of your life, but you were around sometimes. You grew up with Sebastian and Ashton."
"Only on occasion. Ashton and I didn't get along." That was the understatement of the century.
"Yeah, because your brother is a turd. No offense."
"None taken. He is. He's the worst kind of filth."
Easy does it. No need for him to see anything we don't want him to see.
"Okay, so you met Ariel one summer."
"Yeah. She used to work at this old tiny movie theater. I don't even know what possessed me, but I'd been trying to get out of the palace. I needed a way to hide. I had slipped my guard—"
"Something we have in common."
"Yeah. So anyway, I'd slipped my guard and just went out. I was more conspicuous with a guard than without them. I went to go and see a movie, and she was there. She was so cute. Flaming red hair, green soulful eyes... I liked her right away."
"I can see why."
"Anyway, I asked her out. And I don't know why we've kept it quiet. It's not like I had anything to hide. I don't know, I think I wanted something for myself. Something private. It's not like my father would have objected. And she was best friends with Penny, for the love of God. She was already allowed on the palace grounds. But I don't know... I didn't want her tainted by any of it. And I liked having her to myself."
"Makes sense."
"It was going great. We were... I don't know, dumb. In love, I guess. I was supposed to head back to school, back to Eton to finish my A-levels, but it was the last thing I really wanted to do. I wanted to be with her. And I had my wild dream of a team picking me up. I'd been playing in the under-18s, and I had been doing well. School got in the way a lot, but that was important to me, so I made it work."
"I mean, seriously, you were a killer. I've seen the videos."
I shrugged at that. "Back then, I think it was more natural talent than actual work. But Ariel, she was... my whole world. Or maybe she offered me a different world than the one I'd been used to."
"So what happened?"
"We made a dumb plan to run away together. Instead of going to do my A-levels, I was going to go off and do trials for teams abroad. And she was going to come with me. We were just going to strike out on our own."
Lucas chuckled low. "A loose plan, at best."
"I know. I had a definitive plan, at least. I did have trials scheduled to see if I could be on any warmup teams. I was still meant to go back to school though. And I did absolutely want Ariel to join me. She was supposed to come out and visit, see if she liked it. And if she did and I made the trial team, we planned to live together, that whole thing."
Lucas frowned. "But she was barely sixteen."
"I know. Kind of dumb. But that was the plan at the time."
"And?"
"And well, I fucked up."
"No, you need to tell me more than that."
I tried to let go of the emotion of it. "Okay, fine. I got offered a spot on Madrid's team. No trial. Their forward, Ian Tellman, had injured himself. Ian and I had played in the under-18s together. We had a similar style. He went pro before I did. He was just always that much faster, that much better. But then suddenly he was injured, and I had a shot."
"Wow. So, instead of going back to school, you went pro?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Just like that."
"But that doesn't make any sense because she still could have come visit."
"I know. I had to leave pretty suddenly, and I left word for her to meet me. I left it for her in the place we always used to meet. Ashton was a real dick, so texting wasn't always the most reliable thing."
"He knew your password?"
"I changed it so many times. One time I even got a burner to stop him from hacking my texts."
"Yeah, sounds like Ashton."
"I didn't know he was seeing someone in Intelligence, and that's how he was getting access to all my messages."
Lucas winced. "God, I mean, he must have been what, two years older than you? So, twenty and far too old for such adolescent bullshit. But you know what? That does absolutely sound like him."
"Yeah, anyway... so he intercepted my message to her to go to our spot, and as far as I could see, she never made it. She never showed up in Madrid either. When he gloated about how cute it was that I thought I could run away with her, I knew he'd interceded in some way. Still, I wrote her a million letters. I knew he was watching her phone, so I couldn't call her. But I wrote her letters, and she didn't answer any of them.”
Lucas winced. "Shit. Think she was pissed that you left?"
"Undoubtedly. She'd wanted to escape this place as badly as I did."
Lucas frowned. "Okay, knowing her dad, I can see why she wanted to escape. But why did you want to escape so badly?"
I shook my head. "You didn't know him. Ashton was a special kind of hell."
Lucas frowned. "Penny told me some stuff. I'm sorry he was such a dick."
"Yeah, thanks. Hallmark should really start a sorry your brother was a dick line of greeting cards.”
"So because of him, you two were like ships passing in the night."
"Yeah. But like I said, I wrote to her and she never wrote back. So that's the end of that. I hadn't seen her in ten years until she basically turned up on my doorstep a couple
weeks ago."
Lucas whistled low. "Jesus. How is Ella taking it?"
I frowned. "Taking what?"
"Oh, I don't know... the love of your life showing up again?"
"Not the love of my life. It was just a kid thing. We didn't know anything."
He blinked at me. "Uh-huh. Just a kid thing. And that's why you two were busy eye-fucking each other in the meeting?"
"I was not eye-fucking her."
"No, you were ready to blatantly fuck her. And she was very much giving you the I hate you but I still want to bone face."
I threw the card in his direction, and it actually landed dead center on his chest. Lucas looked down with a grin. "Hey, card throwing. I never even thought to teach you that."
"Yeah, well, if I could actually hide the thing, I would be happier."
"So…" his voice trailed as he studied me. "What are you going to do about Ariel?"
"I'm not going to do anything about her. I'm with Ella."
Lucas nodded slowly. "Sure you are, until you're not. You don't strike me as the kind of guy to try and juggle two women. I’ve got to tell you, it's not a good idea."
"I wouldn't do that to either one of them."
"Well, the look you're giving Ariel is clear to me. It's clear to her. And it will start being clear to someone else, so you might want to talk to Ella."
"Ella understands what we have. She isn't the problem."
"Well, she isn't the problem until she is. Women and jealousy don't work well. And if you don't resolve your Ariel issues, it's going to come back to bite you in the ass. And Ariel, she's family. She shouldn't have to share you."
I cleared my throat. "You and I are in complete agreement. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't ask that. And I'm not that guy. She's not a problem because I have Ella."
Lucas sat back, toying with the card, flicking it, making it vanish and appear again. Those words rang absolutely false to the both of us.
"Sure, she isn’t."
FIFTEEN
ARIEL…
"HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?"
"You know... fine."
Penny raised a brow as I paced in her office.
"Fine? You're wearing a pattern on my hardwood."
I glanced down. "Sorry."
"Just sit down and talk to me."
"No. I mean, it is what it is, right? I just... you know, didn't anticipate it being this hard."
"Look, just let me tell Sebastian. He'll understand if you only assign the other knights."
"No. This is my duty. I agreed. And he is a member of the royal family, so he deserves the best."
"Well, you are doing the best. You're the best hacker on the team, clearly. So, you can just keep doing that. You don't have to torture yourself."
I ran my hands through my hair, gently massaging my scalp and trying to release some of the tension. "No, it's fine. Everything is fine."
"You sound like me now."
"Well, didn't this mantra thing work for you?"
"You saw how well that worked for me. I made myself crazy. I mean, honestly... you guys have got to come to some common ground. Has he at least stopped being a dick?"
"Yes, mostly. We don't talk."
"That can be awkward. No one else on your team has noticed?"
"You know, not really. Jax made some snide comment about how insanely professional I was. And well, neither Zia nor Tamsin say anything. And Jameson is always quiet. So, who knows? She may have noticed something, she may not have. I have no idea. Trace is the only one who would outwardly say something and call me out, and he hasn't been on duty with me yet. So right now, it's fine."
Penny released a clip and her curls sprang free. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I wish I had a better solution I could suggest."
"No, you have done everything you can. I'm the one who just needs to get over this. Did you know I had to sit down and endure dinner with him and Ella the other night?"
Penny frowned. "I don't know what to make of her."
"Yeah, tell me about it. She is certainly an ice princess, but she doesn't deserve me lusting after her man."
"So, you are lusting?"
"Penny, not helpful."
"Sorry. No. She doesn't deserve that, but that's not on you. That's on him. He should never have kissed you."
"Yes. I agree. It was just that much worse watching them at dinner, leaning in and exchanging little whispers."
Penny shook her head, her curls bouncing in her face. "God! But you know what's weird, though? They hardly ever touch."
It was my turn to frown. "What are you talking about? They touch all the time."
Penny shook her head. "No. They don't. Remember the other night at game night, right? Sure, they sat right next to each other, and they leaned-in to whisper a lot, but he didn't even so much as touch her knee."
I had been resolutely ignoring him. I was going to skip that game night, but I'd been on duty, so there was no escaping it. I had just deliberately not looked in his direction. The whole damn night. My neck still ached from the force of me holding it perfectly stiff and never allowing it to crane in his direction.
"I didn't notice."
"I sure did, because I was watching them. I was trying to figure out what he saw in her."
"It doesn't matter what he sees in her. He put a ring on it, so I'm out."
"Fine, you can be out. But I'm still going to observe and snark."
I had to laugh at that. "Thank you for forever having my back and snarking on my behalf."
"What are besties for? But honestly, it's weird. If there is a camera or if it's something public, something in front of the Council, or if there was any dignitary or a friend of Sebastian's around, something that could be... I don't know... public record, then they touch. But even then, they never kiss. It’s only handholding."
"Jesus! You’ve spent a lot more time observing them than I have."
"Trust me, I keep watching for a reason. I would love a reason, any reason, why he's jerking you around."
"There is no reason. You're just going to make yourself crazy. There is zero reason why he's doing this. Either he's confused or he's a dick. Whichever way it falls, I've given way too much mental space to this."
She shrugged. "Or he's truly conflicted. I mean, you guys didn't resolve anything. I'm just saying, watch them. They never touch. When they do, it's just the hands. They never kiss."
"How does that help me?"
"Well, maybe everything is not as it seems. Whatever is going on, that's not a couple that's in love."
"It doesn't matter. I don't care about excuses. I'm not going to do that."
"I know. That's not who you are. And that's not who I want my bestie to be, either, someone who's getting scraps. I'm just saying, maybe an open line of communication is what you guys need, because clearly, there is unresolved shit there."
"Yeah, well, that's not going to happen."
She sighed. "Well, okay. Then maybe we, you know, double the focus on Ian."
My phone vibrated then, and I glanced down. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear."
"Oh yeah? What's he saying?"
She leaned forward. "He's asking for another dinner. I know he asked for another date, but I just didn't know when we’d both be available. And with us on rotation schedules on Tristan now, I don't when I’ll have time."
"Well, invite him to the gala."
I blinked. "Are you insane?"
"Maybe, but the point is your whole team is going to be there. Tristan will have more than enough coverage. And you obviously should be there as well. It's a good opportunity to get to know Ian better. And Tristan will see you with him, so he'll know that he can't just jerk you around."
I frowned. "That feels... I don't know... icky."
"Well, remember when I didn't want to use my assets to get Sebastian's attention?"
"Yes, but that was dumb because you were single and he was single."
"Ah, wait, I wasn't exactly single. I was still dealing wi
th Robert and hadn't quite broken up with him."
"Yeah, you know, details."
"Well, I see our first breakup as when he didn't turn up for my birthday, so..."
"Yeah, he did it to himself."
"But I understand what you’re saying. Look, Ian is super cute. At the very least, if Tristan does still have feelings for you and he won't talk about them, at least this will prompt him. If he sees Ian all over you, he will lose his shit, and he's going to be forced to confront what the hell he's doing with, you know, Ice Princess Ella and stringing you along."
I don't know why, but I felt the need to defend him. "He's not stringing me along. I'm a grown up. It was one kiss. I'm probably blowing it out of proportion because we haven't talked or settled anything, so the wounds still feel all fresh and oozy."
"Well, you know how to fix that."
"Yeah, but every time we get within a foot of each other, we're fighting."
"That's because you want to fuck. Maybe if you weren't so desperate to fuck, you guys could have a rational conversation. So get the lead out with someone else, and then you can talk to him."
"Oh my God, your solutions need work."
"What? I thought it was a great solution."
I shook my head. "You do have a point. I should ask Ian to the gala, because truly, the only way I'm going to be able to tell if I really like him is to spend more time with him."
"Are you going to be able to get over the whole he ordered for you and invited someone else on your date thing?"
I groaned. "You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"
“I'm just saying, it's a viable reason to not go out with someone again. So don't go out with him just because you're like, 'Well, this one. This is the only one I can make work.'"
"I'm not doing that."
I was totally doing that.
"Yes, you are. But I'll allow it because he is very cute and totally smitten with you, so one more date won't hurt. Besides, it's a really good excuse to get all dolled up and feel extra pretty. If someone else happens to notice who is at the gala, you know, far from me to complain."
