by Iris Morland
She rose up over him, letting his cock brush against her. She was still wearing her panties, but that somehow made it more erotic, like they wanted each other so badly they couldn’t take the time to fully undress. She rubbed against him, his cock glancing off of her still-sensitive clit, and they both hissed in a breath.
He palmed her ass. A flush had darkened his cheekbones, and his chest rose and fell in heavy breaths. As he watched her, she pulled the crotch of her panties aside and fitted his length against her sheath. And then she slowly sat back and impaled herself on him. It was pure ecstasy: full and hot inside of her, and she flexed herself around him just to hear him groan.
“God, Kat, you’re going to kill me,” he said again as he reached behind her and unhooked her bra, freeing her breasts to his hungry mouth as he sat up against the headboard. He sucked her nipples as she began to ride him, her hands on his shoulders as she used him as leverage.
“Gavin, Gavin, Gavin.” She couldn’t stop saying his name, couldn’t stop moaning as she rode his cock, feeling him impale her over and over again, his hot mouth still playing with her breasts.
Another orgasm coiled in her belly, and she picked up her rhythm, which caused him to grab her ass and move with her. The combined effort sent her into a tailspin, and she was so close to catching that second climax that she could taste it on her tongue.
“I’m so close.” She gripped his shoulders as she ground against him.
He reached between them, and he rubbed her clit with his thumb. She groaned to the ceiling. “Come for me,” he breathed against her neck. “Come for me, my beautiful Kat.”
That was all she needed. Her climax exploded over her, and she milked his cock with every spasm. He moaned as he started to come with her. Her vision filled with stars, and she had to grip his shoulders to keep herself from floating away entirely.
When she collapsed against him, both of them panting and sweaty, her mind felt strangely, blessedly empty. She breathed and kissed his neck, not wanting to part from him or even leave this bed. If she could, she’d stay here for the rest of her life.
But reality always came calling, and eventually, he nudged her off of him. She complied with a sigh, rolling onto the bed as he got rid of the condom. When she realized that her glasses had steamed up, she couldn’t help but laugh.
“Do I want to know why you’re laughing?” He lay down next to her and wrapped his arms around her.
“I was laughing because that was the most ridiculous sexual encounter I’ve ever had.” She poked him in between his furrowed brows, and couldn’t help but laugh again.
“If by ridiculous you mean fucking amazing, then I agree,” he said as he grabbed her ass. “If I were ten years younger, I’d do it all over again.”
She released a heavy sigh. “I guess I could endure it a second time…”
That earned her a smack on her ass, which made her squeak and then burst out laughing. He looked rather like a bear now, instead of a rumpled lion. Definitely a carnivore, she thought to herself, and quite liable to eat her up in one gulp if she weren’t careful.
They cuddled for a while longer before Kat got up, mostly because she needed to take a shower. Gavin sighed as he let her rise, and then he sighed again when she made a point to bend down in front of him to pick up her discarded bra.
“Go take a shower, otherwise I’m hauling you back into this bed,” he growled.
She winked at him over her shoulder. “Promises, promises.”
After she took a quick shower, she went into the kitchen to find Gavin stirring something. She sniffed the air, then wrinkled her nose. “Are you making ramen?”
“Yep.” He flipped off the burner knob and doused the noodles and water with the sodium-packet flavor packets. “I made you some, too. Gourmet and all.”
It was so stupid, but her heart fluttered at the gesture. The man was making her a heart attack in a bowl, and she was getting gooey feelings over it? She wanted to slap her own forehead. Hadn’t she just told herself she wasn’t going to do this? And look what had happened. She’d had the best sex of her life and was about to profess her undying love because Gavin had made her chicken-flavored ramen noodles.
She stilled at the word love floating through her mind. She refused to think she was in love with him. Infatuation? Yes. Desire? Absolutely. But love? She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
But as he kissed her and made her laugh the rest of the evening, his hands roaming everywhere, she knew her arguments against the idea of loving Gavin Danvers were flimsy at best. And that was what scared her the most: that she’d given her heart to him without even putting up a fight in the first place.
Chapter Twelve
“Dad, I can’t wake up Mom. Please come home.”
Gavin had been at work when Emma had called him after finding Teagan unconscious on the bathroom floor. As he’d left work, he’d called 911 and prayed to every deity he could think of that his wife wasn’t already dead.
“I’ll be there as fast as I can. Can you go to the front door and make sure to open it if the police get there before me?”
He didn’t want to think about how calm his seven-year-old daughter was in the face of this trauma, or how he had to ask her to be there to let the paramedics in to help Teagan. He didn’t think about anything as he drove home. Anger roiled through him with such intensity that at a stoplight, he had to lay his forehead on the steering wheel to catch his breath.
How could she do this? he couldn’t stop thinking. It was the mantra running through his mind when he arrived home to see an ambulance with its lights flashing out front and a fire truck not far behind. It was the thought that wouldn’t leave him when he found Emma in the living room, waiting for him. They were the words he couldn’t shake as he watched the paramedics take Teagan out of the house on a stretcher after they’d told him she was alive but needed to have her stomach pumped.
Gavin didn’t like to leave Teagan alone with Emma, but she’d been doing better lately, so he’d given in when she’d told him to stop hovering. He’d gone to work like it was any other day. But that had all ended when Teagan had decided she’d prefer to take a bottle of painkillers in her suicide attempt, leaving her own daughter to find her.
Gavin had kept those memories at bay recently, but Teagan had called him this morning to talk to Emma. Everything had come rushing back, and as he worked at River’s Bend today, all he could see was Teagan’s lifeless body on that stretcher, and the wide eyes of his daughter, who’d never been the same since.
He knew, logically, he shouldn’t blame Teagan for what she’d done. She was ill. But anger still roiled in his gut anyway, and today it came back in a flood of resentment and fury. Not so much for himself, but for Emma. How could a mother do that to her own daughter?
He leaned against the wall behind the vineyard’s main building, closing his eyes. He tried to get himself in check, but he could hear Teagan’s voice teasing his senses. I hope you guys are doing okay, she’d said in that voice he’d gotten to know better than his own. I miss you. Both of you. But I’m doing better now.
He was glad she was doing better, but it was too late to feel anything but an exhausted kind of gratitude. Teagan was no longer his wife, and until she was really better, she wasn’t a mother, either. She loved Emma—he knew that—but her absence still hurt them both.
The worst part of it was the feeling that he’d failed them. He couldn’t save Teagan, and now, he wasn’t sure he could save Emma, either.
“Gavin.”
He looked up to see Kat walking toward him, and he blinked, wondering if he was seeing things. For some reason, seeing her here seemed out of place. Today she wore black jeans and a bright yellow top, her hair in her usual afro. He swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. Had it really been only half a day since he’d had her in his bed? He hardened instantly just from sheer proximity, and it took all his strength not to push her up against the wall behind him and take her again.
“What ar
e you doing here?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I tried to find some kind of excuse, like you’d left something at the apartment, but there’s no point in lying. I wanted to see you.” She stepped closer, her hands in her pockets. “Stupid, right? It’s not like I wasn’t going to see you later this evening.”
“Not stupid at all.” His voice was hoarse, especially when she pressed her hands against his chest.
“Sometimes I wonder if this is all a dream,” she murmured. “If I’ll wake up and be alone again, if I’ve conjured you into being.” She gazed up at him, her dark eyes wide. “You are real, right?”
He laughed a little. “As far as I know, yes.”
It was inevitable that he’d kiss her. She stood on the balls of her feet as they kissed, and he wrapped his arms around her. She tasted like sweetness and light, her lips silky and soft. He pressed his hardened cock against her, just because he wanted her to know how he felt every time she was near.
“I want to take you until you forget your own name.” He licked her jaw, and she shuddered. “Make you come until you scream.”
“Then do it.”
It was like something burst inside of him. With a groan, he moved so she was against the wall behind them, knowing that everyone had gone home for the day. But that didn’t stop a thrill from running through him at the idea of getting caught. For Kat, it was worth it.
He scattered kisses across her cheeks and down her throat, tonguing the indentation between her collarbones. She ran her fingers through his hair and her hands moved up his shoulders as he feasted.
He kneeled in front of her, and she looked down at him with heat in her eyes. “Let me taste you,” he muttered, unbuttoning her jeans to get to her wet center.
Her head thunked against the wall behind her when he pulled her panties down to her knees. “Gavin, are you sure? Outside?”
“Nobody’s around.” He kissed her hip, fluffing the curls hiding her core. “Let me do this.”
She sighed. “Don’t let me be the one to say no to having a guy go down on me.”
He laughed. Parting her, he took in her musky scent, laving her with his tongue. She let out a moan that turned higher pitched when he licked her over and over. Her wetness coated his tongue, and God Almighty, he couldn’t get enough. When he inserted the tip of his tongue inside of her, she shivered. He held her to his mouth, not letting her get away.
He played with her, building her climax, and when he only circled her clit, she swore at him. He smiled. Just as she was about to throttle him, he sucked her clit into his mouth and drew on it, the bud swollen and begging for his touch. She said his name over and over again as she clutched at his head. When he pushed a finger inside of her as he tongued her clit, she shimmied and shook, and he felt her sheath contract around his finger before her orgasm burst upon her.
She arched against him, but he didn’t let her go until he’d milked every contraction from her. “Jesus Christ,” she kept muttering, breathing hard. “Jesus motherfucking Christ.”
He stood up and fumbled with his clothing, but not before pulling a condom from his wallet. Her lips quirked into a smile as she took it from him. “Somebody was prepared,” she said.
“Thank God for that.” He groaned when she rolled the latex down his cock, and then he groaned again when he pushed at her entrance. She took hold of his cock and then he was sheathed inside of her wet heat. “Fuck, you feel amazing.”
“So do you.” Her breath warmed his throat. “Take me, Gavin.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. He hooked his hand underneath her leg for leverage, pumping inside of her in a ruthless rhythm. Licking her throat, he felt his cock get even harder as he fucked her. She moaned and dug her nails into his shoulders, and the sound of their lovemaking only heightened his arousal.
When he felt her squeezing around his cock, he thrust harder, brushing against her clit with each movement. He saw her pupils dilate right before she reached climax, her nails digging even harder into his shoulders. She’d probably drawn blood, but he didn’t care. As her sheath contracted around his cock, that sent him over, and he flooded her with his own release. He kissed her wildly, his tongue tangling with hers as they came together, their mutual orgasms sending them both into a tailspin of pleasure.
The words I love you flashed in his head, and he almost blurted them out. But he bit his tongue, not wanting to ruin this moment. He didn’t know if he could love someone else again. But as he withdrew from her and she kissed him so sweetly, his heart clenched despite himself.
They righted their clothing, laughing a little, and Gavin took her to a nearby bench so they could catch their breath. Sweat had beaded on their foreheads despite the cool weather. He went inside the vineyard’s main building to fetch them bottles of water, and he handed her one with a smile. “Don’t want to get dehydrated,” he said by way of explanation.
She rolled her eyes. “Thank you, I think.” She lifted the bottle and took a long drink, her throat moving as she swallowed. “Most guys just like to spoon, but I think this is the best after-sex gift I’ve ever gotten.”
He grinned. “Told you you’d get thirsty.”
After they had drunk their fill, Kat leaned against his shoulder, and he placed an arm around her. He knew this little idyll couldn’t last, but he stupidly hoped it would. Those treacherous words filled his mind again—I love you—but he refused to let them free.
God, he’d never acted like this before. He’d only ever had sex in a bed, yet with Kat, he couldn’t control himself. The scariest part was that it wasn’t just that he desired her: it was that he wanted to be with her every hour of every day.
In a world all his own, he didn’t hear Kat’s words at first. “What did you say?”
“I asked what we’re doing.” She sat up so she could look him in the eye. “Or more specifically, what do you think it is?”
He rubbed a hand against his beard. He wasn’t stupid enough not to know what a potential minefield that question was. He weighed the pros and cons of honesty versus softening the blow. Remembering their conversation last night—about how Kat didn’t want to be some “rebound chick”—he finally replied, “I don’t know.”
She huffed out a breath. “That’s not an answer.”
“It’s as much an answer as I can give right now. Do you want me to lie and say I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Because I don’t know if that’s the case or not.”
His heart told him he was a liar, but he told his heart to shut up. Images of Teagan and his broken marriage were enough of a reason to keep his distance.
“So we’re just having an affair?”
“No!” He stood up to pace, and Kat watched him with wary eyes. “It’s not just a fling to me. And I know it isn’t for you, either.”
“Common sense tells me that a relationship built only on sex is just that: a fling.” She crossed her arms over her breasts, and then she let out a sigh. “I keep telling myself this is a bad idea, but I can’t stay away from you. It’s like some compulsion.”
He barked out a laugh. “I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be. But I’m also not going to lie and say we don’t have something more between us than sexual attraction.” When he didn’t deny it, she just nodded. “I’m scared too, Gavin,” she whispered.
The word scared was like a thorn in his heart, and it stabbed him, over and over again. “This doesn’t have anything to do with being scared.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“No, it doesn’t. I’m just trying to keep you safe. Don’t you get it? I’m poison. My wife almost died and I couldn’t save her from that. How can I have another relationship without repeating the same mistake?”
Kat covered her mouth, and he realized he hadn’t told her about Teagan overdosing. But he needed her to understand. In a ragged voice, he said, “Teagan tried to kill herself. She overdosed on painkillers, and Emma found her on the bathroom floor. We
didn’t know if she’d survive the night.” All he could see now was Teagan, the ambulance, the paramedics, his daughter’s dry eyes. “She was sick for so long and I tried to get her help. I tried to get her to take her meds. Hell, I threatened divorce every time she decided she didn’t need her meds anymore. I told her I’d take Emma and run. I made ultimatum after ultimatum; I hid the pills she’d get from ten different doctors.”
Kat got up and touched him on the arm. “You can’t blame yourself, Gavin. You can’t.”
“Of course I can. She was my responsibility, when she got so bad she couldn’t take care of herself. But I failed her, and I failed Emma.” He gripped her forearms, because he had to make her see. “I will not be the cause of another woman’s downfall. I won’t watch as she gets sicker and sicker and everything falls apart.” He practically growled the next words, and he knew he was gripping her arms too tightly. But she didn’t even flinch. “Do you get it now, Kat?”
Her eyes glimmered with tears, but they didn’t fall. “I get it,” she breathed. “I get that you blame yourself, because you think you have to save everyone. You can’t save everyone, Gavin.” She smiled, a smile so sad that it tore him apart. “Now you’re throwing away what could be because of that fear.”
She finally pulled away, and he let her go. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew without a doubt that he had to.
“I’m sorry,” he said to her back.
She sniffled, turning to look over her shoulder at him. “If you were really sorry, or really wanted things to be different, you would make them happen.” He flinched as she turned to face him once again. “I know what it’s like to lose people, Gavin. I’ve been alone for so much of my life that it’s almost second nature, but I also know when I’m screwing myself over for no reason. And that’s what you’re doing—to me, and to yourself.”
