by Karin Baine
* * *
Despite his resolve to remain unmoved by his reacquaintance with Kaja, he was persuaded into the kitchen by two aspiring, giggling chefs to taste their goods.
‘What about this one?’ Amy, sitting on a high stool, was force-feeding him the misshapen biscuits she’d made. The crunchy brown lumps weren’t appetising in either appearance or taste but she was so proud of them he couldn’t refuse.
‘Delicious,’ he managed to utter through a mouthful of crumbs.
‘I thought you preferred these?’ Kaja popped a delicate shell-shaped cookie into his mouth with a mischievous grin.
‘No, he likes mine better.’ A laughing Amy wedged another lump into his full mouth and Seth realised he’d become the butt of their joke. They weren’t competing for his praise, they’d joined forces until his cheeks were bulging like a hamster storing sunflower seeds, and he was in danger of going into a sugar coma.
It had just been the two of them as a family for so long it was a new experience to have someone else join their fun. Paula had never been part of Amy’s life so the only mother figure she’d known was his gran and he doubted she remembered much of that time, being so little. Watching her with Kaja was a bittersweet experience. In different circumstances perhaps this could have been a real family scene between them. Something he’d always wanted and, judging by the delight on his daughter’s face, something she would like too.
He was a good father but that couldn’t make up for the lack of a mother in her life. Someone she could confide secrets to that she didn’t want to share with her father and someone to gang up with and play pranks on him. He’d pictured this life with Kaja. It was a shame she hadn’t wanted it. She’d given up their future to return to her duties as a princess. He hadn’t been enough incentive for her to stay when she’d made her choice five years ago. That was something he’d do well to remember instead of believing it could still be possible.
‘Stop! I’ll be sick if I eat any more, you rascal.’ He tickled Amy, incapacitating her with laughter so she couldn’t do any more damage to his waistline.
‘Nonsense. I know you, Seth. I’m sure you haven’t eaten anything all day.’ Kaja dipped one of her golden-brown morsels into a bowl of melted chocolate sitting on the worktop.
She knew him too well. With a day of surgery ahead of him he hadn’t stopped to refuel since the breakfast Fatima had provided this morning.
Kaja made sure hunger raised its head again as she bit down, the chocolate coating her lips, keeping Seth mesmerised as she licked it off with her pink tongue. Somehow, he’d turned another playful moment into an erotic display in his lustful mind. It didn’t help matters when she dipped another cookie into the chocolate and offered it to him. He couldn’t resist, even though he knew it was bad for him.
The confection was sweet on his tongue but nothing compared to the taste of Kaja as he sucked the remaining chocolate from her fingers. His eyes didn’t leave hers, watching until they darkened and a small gasp sounded from her lips.
‘Where’s my chocolate?’ Once again Amy saved him from himself, demanding to be included in this new game.
‘Last one before dinner.’ He half coated another and gave it to the appreciative audience before washing away the chocolate on his fingers at the sink. Anything to get away from temptation and a woman with whom he seemed determined to tread old ground.
‘I’ll put the rest away for later.’ At the other end of the kitchen Kaja busied herself parcelling up the remainder of the treats, but he could see her sneaking glimpses at him when she thought he wasn’t looking.
This push and pull between them was torture. Especially when he already knew how good they were together on a physical level. It was geography, class divide and a lack of honesty that had been their downfall. If her reason for leaving him had been not loving him, or that they’d no longer been attracted to one another, living under the same roof wouldn’t have caused the same intense level of tension simmering between them. It might have been better for his peace of mind if she’d stayed mad at him.
‘Your Highness, I’m so sorry I was gone for so long. Please forgive me.’
‘Fatima?’
Kaja’s faithful aide bustled into the kitchen as if from nowhere. She untied the headscarf keeping her curly brown hair in place and struggled out of her heavy coat, which made Seth sweat simply looking at it. He supposed she was accustomed to the climate but, as a visitor more used to inclement British weather, he found the temperature and humidity stifling.
Kaja seemed more stunned by her arrival than her outdoor wear. ‘I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. How is your sister?’
‘She hurt her back but it’s nothing serious. I telephoned her daughter and she’s driving over to be with her. Now, let me get back to work and clean up this mess you’ve left in my kitchen.’ After hanging up her coat she pulled a floral apron from a drawer and tied it around her waist, then herded them out of her territory.
Seth’s phone vibrated in his pocket with a text message.
‘That’s the hospital. You can go and see your dad and Bruno whenever you’re ready.’ He halted their procession down the hallway to tell her immediately. Now there was no doubt about where, or with whom, he’d be spending the rest of the day.
Kaja dithered when he’d half expected her to race off at once. ‘I need to change but, er, would you come with me?’
‘To get changed?’ She made it too easy for him to tease her but joking around was safer ground than those hot, loaded looks they kept exchanging.
She rolled her eyes. ‘To the hospital.’
‘Can I stay with Fatima?’ Amy had already turned on her heel and was running back towards the kitchen before he could answer. Clearly, she hadn’t been spoiled enough today. He couldn’t begrudge her some attention from an alternative female role model than an ex they were both growing dangerously close to, however.
‘Yes, Kaja, I’ll accompany you to the hospital. I have to check on my patients anyway. Yes, Amy, you can stay with Fatima, if that’s all right with her.’ Seth addressed each of them in turn telling himself it was the right thing to do for all concerned.
* * *
‘Okay, I’m ready to go. Sorry for the wait.’ While Kaja wanted to sprint immediately to the hospital to see for herself that her family was safe, it wasn’t as simple as that.
‘No problem.’ Seth rose from the armchair he’d been sitting in waiting for her to make herself presentable for the outside world.
It was easy for him. A quick shower and a change of shirt and he was ready. As handsome as ever. She needed a bit more assistance to be camera-ready in case she was snapped on the way. The chances of that happening were high with the press camped outside the front of the hospital waiting for news.
Her car was out front, engine running. Seth graciously helped her into the back seat before climbing in next to her. The photographers were there at the gates too, wanting to catch her reaction, some sign of what had happened to her father during surgery. It was draining having to keep up a façade when any display of emotion was deemed unbecoming for a member of the royal family. That was why she’d wanted Seth to accompany her. At least when she was with him she no longer had to keep that stiff upper lip. She’d already broken down in front of him, clung to him for support, and the world hadn’t ended because she’d let someone in. Although it still could if she got too used to having him around.
‘Thank goodness for tinted windows. They give some illusion of privacy even if the press always manage to sneak a picture somewhere along the way.’
‘Don’t you get sick of all this? Wish you could just run away from it all and live a normal life?’ There was pity in Seth’s eyes and she found it worse than the pain she’d seen there most of the time when he’d looked at her.
She didn’t really deserve anyone’s sympathy when she led such a privileged life. Rega
rdless that she found it trying at times. People had been hurt worse than her in her pursuit of normality. Seth for one.
‘I tried that, remember? I made my escape to England but running away doesn’t solve problems. Everything catches up with you in the end. I’ll never regret our time together, Seth, but I was living a lie. I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire while I figured that out.’ Her love for Seth had been genuine but coming back here only proved it could never have worked out. Protocol impinged on basic things most people took for granted, such as privacy. Something she knew Seth was struggling with in his short stay here so far.
Neither of them would want that kind of intrusion for Amy either. Playing together today, having fun like any other normal family, only served to increase her sense of loss. Being a mother was never going to be possible for her. The more time she spent with Amy, the more she realised what she was missing out on. Despite appearances, Seth was the one who had everything.
Perhaps she should’ve stayed single rather than ever getting involved with anyone. Then no one would have been hurt. Including her.
‘I wish you’d told me that before I flew all the way out here.’ There was that sad smile again, which wouldn’t have been noticeable to someone who didn’t know him as well as she did.
‘Why?’ There had been a couple of unguarded moments between them but Seth had been quick to stamp out any flames when heat sparked between them. She doubted rekindling their romance was the reason he’d agreed to help her father in the first place.
He sighed and leaned back into the leather. ‘I think that’s what I was doing by accepting your request to treat your father. After Gran died I was lost. Coming here has been a distraction from the reality of her no longer being around. If what you’re saying is true, the grief will be waiting for me on my return.’
She fought back the sudden and surprising disappointment as he confirmed his motive had nothing to do with her and reached out to squeeze his hand. Seth glanced down at the fingers clasped around his, then up at her, his eyes misted with unshed tears.
There were similarities that had brought them to where they were now. She was apparently mourning their relationship and her chance to be mother to someone as wonderful as Amy as much as he was grieving the loss of his grandmother.
‘It’s not easy facing up to the things that keep you awake at night. I don’t know how many times I rehearsed that call, dialled your number and hung up before I asked you for help. I know it’s not the same but you’ll feel better when you deal with your fears once and for all.’ She’d thought of Seth often over the years, wanting to make amends but convincing herself to shove it all to the back of her mind and pretend to move on. When, in truth, she’d never got over him. Her heart hadn’t let go of him simply because she’d thought it the right thing to do.
‘Did it work? Do you think you’ve exorcised some demons by seeing me again?’ He was searching her face for answers, making it difficult for her to lie to him.
Her blush would give her away anyway. She had no business dishing out advice when her life had been such a car crash up until now. Plus, if she was going to be honest with him it meant confessing she still had feelings for him. News that might not be welcome after everything she’d done.
‘I’m glad I called. For my father’s sake and I, um, I’m pleased I got to see you again. It gave me the chance to explain why I did what I did.’
‘But... I get the sense this hasn’t played out the way you imagined?’ He was able to read her way too easily. Perhaps after being burnt so badly already he watched her more carefully these days.
She glanced out of the window trying to get her bearings. Why did this journey seem to take longer when she was in the car with him?
‘I, uh...’ she cleared her throat ‘... I didn’t expect that we’d, uh, still have that spark.’ Or that she’d be faced with the reality of her infertility issues again. Babysitting Amy reminded her what she was missing out on and even if circumstances made a relationship possible with Seth, she couldn’t give him everything that should come with that.
The ensuing silence was interminable as she waited for him to confirm or deny her observation.
Then Seth said quietly, ‘Nor me.’
There wasn’t time to analyse what that meant for them other than it hadn’t been all in her head as the car pulled up outside the hospital.
‘Before we go in, I need you to be prepared. Remember, they’ve just come out of surgery. You know they’re going to be weak and groggy.’
She nodded, not concerned about anything behind those doors other than seeing her family again. Despite her fears her father might not get through this, she’d always had faith in Seth’s abilities. There was a long way to go until they could say her father was in good health but at least the transplant had gone to plan so far.
‘I’m here for you,’ he said, resting his hand gently on her arm.
She bit her lip to stop from begging him to hold her again as he’d done earlier. That connection with someone who expected nothing from her in return was invaluable. Something she hadn’t appreciated as much as she should have when she’d had it.
Then there was that rush of arousal he still managed to incite with a mere look. Her heart, and body, were crying out for his touch but they couldn’t do anything in public without causing an uproar.
Instead, they exited the car separately, ignoring the cameras and the microphones being thrust in their direction as security hurried them inside.
‘Oh, Papa.’ Kaja rushed to her father’s bedside battling for space amongst the attachments and machines assisting his recovery. He had drips going into his body, drains coming out and a morphine driver for pain relief, but he was here.
‘Kaja...my daughter,’ he rasped through dry, cracked lips under his oxygen mask. The effort of opening his eyes to look at her proved too much and they fluttered shut again. He was obviously still tired. She’d never seen him so frail. He’d refused to let them accompany him when he’d been having dialysis and had always put on a brave face afterwards, even though he’d spent the rest of those days in bed. One to always defy his age and keep himself busy with the running of the country, now he was in his hospital gown without his tailored suits there was no hiding the truth. He was as vulnerable and mortal as everyone else.
His paper-thin skin was almost translucent, except for the lurid red and purple marks where his body had been through the wars. It was clear there would be a long recovery period.
Seth, who’d been talking to the other doctors about his meds to prevent rejection of the new organ, came over when she kissed her father’s forehead.
‘We should let you get some sleep, sir. I hate to drag you away again so soon but he needs as much rest as possible, Kaja.’
‘I know. I just wanted to see him for myself. Can I look in on Bruno quickly too?’
‘Sure. He’s still next door.’
‘I’ll come back and see you again tomorrow, Papa,’ she whispered before following Seth into the adjoining room.
‘Hello, sis!’
‘Bruno!’ Seeing him sitting up in bed looking so well considering what he’d been through, she wanted to hug him so tightly. She saw the fleeting panic cross his face as she ran to him and reined herself in before she caused him any further pain.
‘How are you feeling?’ She settled for giving him a peck on the cheek instead.
‘Sore,’ he said with a grimace. ‘How’s Dad?’
Seth stepped forwards then to put his mind at ease. ‘Everything went to plan. He’s understandably tired but doing well.’
‘He’s awake?’
‘Only briefly. He knew I was there at least.’ Kaja would’ve hated for him to have woken up and found himself alone in a strange room.
‘That’s good. Maybe I’ll get to see him tomorrow when I’m back on my feet?’ Bruno looked hopefully
at Seth to authorise the visit.
‘We’ll see how you both do overnight.’ Seth apparently wasn’t going to be swayed by sympathy when it came to his patients’ recovery times. He was the kind of doctor who’d do whatever he could to buoy his patients’ spirits. It went a long way to aiding recovery. She’d seen for herself how much having beloved family members around helped people get better quicker compared to those left languishing alone with no visitors to boost their mood.
‘Is there anything I can bring you from home, Bruno?’ She wanted to do something, anything, to make her brother more comfortable when he’d sacrificed so much to save their father. The fact she hadn’t been a match had put paid to any idea of her being a donor even if either of them would’ve let her do it. As a result, her conscience insisted she needed to pay some sort of penance because she wasn’t the one lying in a hospital bed recovering from an operation.
He shook his head. ‘I think I’m all set. I have books, magazines, puzzles and a phone somewhere.’
‘Has Missy been in?’
‘Where do you think I got the supplies from? I’m sure she’ll be back later. I asked the staff to let her know when I was awake too.’
‘In that case, I’ll let you recharge your batteries. You’ve got to look your best for your sweetheart.’ Her brother was still head over heels about his long-term girlfriend and vice versa. They made an adorable couple but she couldn’t help but envy them their future together.
‘Thanks for calling in, Kaja. Hopefully, next time I see you I’ll be on my feet.’ He flicked another glance at Seth.
‘We’ll see.’ Her visiting companion refused to be drawn any further on the subject despite Bruno’s plea. She knew her brother well enough to predict him ignoring all medical advice to try and get on his feet before he was ready. When they were out of earshot, where she couldn’t be accused of being a tattle-tale, she’d tell Seth to keep an eye on him for that very reason.
‘Get some sleep. I just wanted to call in and say hello.’ She kissed her brother on the cheek for a second time, content to leave now she’d been assured he was his back to his mischievous self.
