A muscle in her jaw twitched. She remembered. If he only knew how hard that had been for her! How much she longed to belong with those popular rich kids.
His dark eyes bore into her. “And you’re adventurous. Do you remember the time you showed us little kids how to jump from Donaghy Cliff into the cold, deep water? I still remember seeing you fly through the air at the skate-board park. Or the time you found that abandoned house and took us in to explore it . . .you were always up for an adventure, Alana.”
Well, yes. But I’ve changed. I’ve grown up now. She stood staring, struck dumb at his blazing eyes, his look of desperation.
His face softened, and he looked at her eyes, moist now. “I remember you in the lunch room, sharing you lunch with me when I forgot mine. You may not have had much, but you gave me your chocolate bar.”
She giggled a little. “I wanted you to be the one to get fat.”
But he wasn’t to be dissuaded. He shook his head. “I know you're just pretending to be like this. I know where you come from.”
That was enough to ruin the moment. Alana barged forward, pushing him away from her, tears springing to her eyes. “You don't know me. You don't know anything about me.”
“I know you better than you know yourself! I was there Alana. You may not have noticed me but I was always there. I was just a kid back then but I was in the next room when you poured your heart out to Marie, when you told her everything. I've known all this time. I knew you would never go for me. I was just a kid. I'm not a kid anymore. I want you Alana, with everything I have I want you.”
Before she could react he was upon her, a primal beast, pushing her up against the wall. His stubble was rough against her skin. His hands pressed her shoulders, causing her pain mixed with pleasure. He lifted her off her feet and held her against the wall, kissing her hard. She twisted, struggled, tried to escape. Part of her wanted to beat him and curse him and tell him that what he was doing was wrong. But part of her wanted to give in. She'd wanted it since the first moment she had seen him. She had tried to hide from the desire, to run away and retreat, but she couldn't. She couldn't push him away. She couldn't escape.
All she could do was surrender.
Her lips fought back and met his. The release of her desire washed through her. She moaned softly, muffled by the strength of his kisses as he pressed her lips so hard she thought they might bruise. He kissed and bit the flesh of her neck, making her tingle. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” His voice was raspy in her ear.
Her neck arched back as he pulled her robe from her shoulders, letting it slip to the floor. His hair smelled like soap, and she lowered her face into it, loving the soft thickness of it. His mouth trailed soft-lipped kisses down her throat to her breasts, taking one nipple, then the other to suck and nibble, while his big, strong hands caressed her back and waist. He left a lingering hot rush of breath on her abdomen and stomach as he fell to his knees and descended down her body, worshiping it as he went, telling her how beautiful she was. All at once it felt as though a hundred hands were upon her. She felt her body would crack through the sheer force of the sensations that were coursing through it.
He pulled down her panties and lovingly licked her pussy, kissing it, breathing on it, murmuring with delight. Her hands fell to his head, long purple-painted fingernails digging in a little, as she felt his tongue work its magic, and she writhed against the wall.
Dylan was an expert. It was as though he had been trained in the art of how to pleasure her. His extended tongue teased her clitoris, lapping greedily. Every flick and swirl of the tongue brought with it new flashes of delight. Over and Over. She pressed herself back against the wall, pushing her groin further into him. His hands fondled her ass, as his tongue lapped greedily. Her gasps turned into moans, and her moans turned into screams, then her screams turned into breathless anguish. Never before had she experienced anything so heavy and intense, so bright and darkly delicious. He gorged himself upon her and she loved every minute of it. The orgasms crashed through her body, one after another, rising and falling like a tsunami, and when Dylan finally finished she almost fell forward, staggering, losing her balance because her mind was frayed and she was now just a tribute to Eros.
Dylan wrapped his arms around her legs and pulled her over his shoulder, carrying her to her bedroom where he flung her down on the bed. She lay, limbs and hair splayed over the bed, while he pulled away his top and undressed, exposing every inch of his masculinity. Upon seeing it her eyes widened. It was thick and long, far bigger than she had ever seen, and exactly in proportion with the rest of him. He reached down and grabbed a fistful of her hair, dragging her up. The sheer force of his sexuality was enough to render her completely at his mercy, submissive to his every desire.
She opened her mouth wide and took him into her, feeling the hard, stretched flesh passing through her wet lips. Coated in her saliva it glistened and throbbed, hot and musky; the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She placed two hands around the bottom of the shaft and made love to his erection, sucking deeper and deeper, needing him, wanting him, feeling like this was the only way she was ever going to feel complete. Closing her eyes, she held him steady and pushed her mouth further and further down until she had taken all of him deep in her throat. A throaty roar emerged from him and she knew that she had pleased him, giving her great pleasure. He was a younger man, a stallion, wild and wonderful and unlike any man she had ever been with. This is what she had been missing.
Alana could feel the tension rising within him. Her own body was flushed, hair matted to her scalp with sweat, jaw aching and raw, yet she had never felt so sexy. When she gazed into Dylan's eyes she saw the ardor contained within them, pure desire for her, unadulterated and without agenda. It was pure lust. He needed her as much as she needed him, and this aroused her even more. Dylan kissed her deeply and took her head in his hands, stroking her chin and cheek, telling her once again how beautiful she was, before he turned her around, hands around her waist, pushing her head down and entering her from behind. Her eyes widened at the feeling of him inside her, filling her, like he was halfway up her body. She almost crumpled. Then he started thrusting.
Slowly at first.
Hands tightly around her waist. Caressing her back. Fingering her hair, Strong arms reaching around to grope her breasts. Grabbing her ass. Thrusts getting faster and harder and deeper. Bodies and bed rocking in harmony, moans and gasps and grunts and screams, muscles clenching, eyes clamping, pain blurring with pleasure until it was all one incomprehensible mess.
Dylan gripped her hard as he relentlessly fucked her. He dominated her body in a way that it had never been treated before, and Alana loved every second of it. Her mind was clouded with heat, and pleasure. When Dylan's orgasm came she met his pleasured groan with a scream for her entire body raged. He collapsed upon her, breathing heavily, head nestling against her neck, breath swimming down. Then he extricated himself and collapsed on the bed, arms curling around her, drawing her in. Her fingers danced over his skin and played with the thick hair on his chest. She felt comfortable with him, yet confused.
“I've been waiting a long time to do that,” he said. Alana gulped, and breathed deeply. She reached around his body, her hand curling around his tattoo, and closed her eyes, trying to quell the voices that raged within her mind. She could feel the rhythm of his heart beating like a drum and it was this that she focused on.
He lay back, looking straight ahead, murmuring. “I thought about you a lot when I was in Africa, you know. I often wished I’d asked you to come. I think that you would have enjoyed it.”
Who does he think I am? she wondered, half sitting up for a moment.
He went on. “Man’s inhumanity to man is incredible. Yet those kids could laugh and play like kids anywhere . . .”
Alana propped herself on one arm. “Dylan, you see me as something I’m not. I don’t want to live in a mud hut.”
He smiled at that, then became serious agai
n. “When I talk to Marie her focus is only on marrying a rich man. And she spends every waking moment in pursuit of that. That seems to me a meaningless way to live, Alana.”
“It's not. It gives you security. Means you don't have to worry about anything else, about going hungry, about having a roof over your head or clothes on your back. You don't know what it's like to be poor.”
“I do, trust me. I've seen people who have to walk miles a day just to get fresh water to drink, not even to bathe in, just drink. They have no possessions; they don't even know what luxury means. They have nothing and you know what? They're still happy. Just because you're poor doesn't mean that your life is worthless or that it doesn't mean anything. There are other ways to be fulfilled.”
Alana didn't want to talk about that. Why did he have to go and ruin it? She extricated herself from his arms and turned around, wrapping the covers around herself.
“You never did want to talk about anything did you? It's like close yourself off.” His nostrils flared as he spoke to her back. They no longer touched.
“What's wrong with that? Not everyone has to be so in touch with their feelings.” Her face hardened as she looked away from him.
“It's not healthy, that's why. You live in an illusion. When was the last time you spoke to your parents?”
“I don't want to talk about that,” she said.
“Of course you don't.” They lay in silence. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't easy. She didn't want to talk about these things.
“So, what's going on with this Jack guy? You really happy with him?” Sadness clouded his features, as she turned to look at him again.
“Of course I am,” she snapped. Now that she had experienced intimacy with Dylan she didn't know how she could cope with anything else.
“How long is he away for?” Dylan stared straight ahead.
“A couple of weeks.”
“You want to go for a bike ride tomorrow?” he asked, brightening a little.
Alana knew she should have refused his offer, but there was something so alluring about him, so tempting, something that made it so easy to say yes.
Chapter 7
Later that night, after Dylan had left, Jack called. Alana felt a wave of guilt as she spoke to him, trying to sweep it from her mind. She told herself that it was just an aberration, that she just needed to get Dylan out of her system and once Jack was back everything would be fine, and they could begin their lives together.
“How are you doing babe?” he asked.
“I'm okay. How's the trip?”
“Boring, but it has to be done. Are you keeping busy? Not missing me too much I hope?” he teased. Flashes of Dylan's naked body appeared in Alana's mind.
“No, no, not at all,” she said, trying to laugh casually. “I've been hanging out with my friend Marie. She was the one at Monarch. I'm going for a bike ride tomorrow as well.”
“Oh, with Marie?”
“No, with her little brother.”
“Ah a spot of babysitting. Well, it's nice to know you're good with kids,” he said, and she let him believe that. She wasn't about to tell him that the little brother was actually a 6'4 Adonis who had just given her the best sex ever. They talked for a little while longer and then Jack said he had to go. He’s glad I’m good with kids. Was he hinting marriage and children? She'd had a plan in her mind her entire life and she couldn't abandon that now. She was going to be with Jack and have that life. Dylan was just a distraction, just a bit of fun before she sent herself on her way.
The following day Dylan arrived bright and early with a couple of bikes. She didn't ask where he'd gotten them from. He offered her a helmet and said that he had been researching a great place to ride. Alana couldn't deny that Dylan’s exuberance was contagious. Hopping on her bike, she found herself excited about the day ahead.
It was a bright, clear morning when they headed out. The terrain was flat, the ride relaxing and the open road beckoned. Alana loved the feel of wind in her face, the warmth of the sun, and the beauty of nature surrounding her. She’d forgotten how wonderful it was. Such a great a way to see thing and get places quickly. I think I’ll get myself a bike, she decided. A strong rider, Dylan had to slow down a bit for her to keep up, she could tell. They soon found themselves by the shore on a small, secluded beach. A wide cliff climbed behind them. The turquoise sea shimmered under the sun. Alana stared in wonder. She’d forgotten how beautiful it was.
“Now, this is happiness,” Dylan said, holding out his hand to help her climb down to the beach. They strolled along the sand, comfortable in the presence of each other, yet always with the edge of sexual tension. Alana knew that at any point he could take her body and overwhelm her with his desire, and she wasn't sure if she could resist him.
“I've been meaning to ask you about your tattoos,” she said.
“This one up here,” he said, pointing to the writing on his shoulder, “is an African saying that basically translates as 'happiness is found within', not very original I know but I liked it at the time. The snake was an object of worship of one of the tribes I met, a sacred animal that was said to slither around the world and carry with it the memories of its homeland. And this one on my ankle is a flower they have, that smells fragrant but is actually poisonous. It's just a reminder that sometimes the most beautiful things can be the most dangerous.”
They walked and found themselves further along the beach, away from the mainland. When Alana realized this she felt her throat tighten again. Looking up at Dylan she recognized the look in his eyes. She shook her head, tried to tell him that she couldn't do it again but before the words were out of her mouth she was silenced by a powerful kiss, and then all resistance melted from her body. They fell to the sandy floor and rolled around, groping and grabbing at each others' clothes, finding the flesh that lay underneath, exposing it, enjoying it, breathing in the scent of each other, drowning in the taste. They knew no limits. There were no barriers to their desire and soon again it was released, their bodies kissed by the sun, kissed by each other. Alana panted, trying to catch her breath, turning her head away from him but he was relentless. He kissed her neck, rekindling the passion.
“What are you trying to do here?” she asked, pushing herself up from the sand, twisting at her clothes.
“What do you mean?” Something dark and deliciously naughty gleamed in his eyes.
She kicked at the sand with her toes, trailing little tracks in it, looking down. “You know I'm with Jack. What do you expect to happen?”
His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “Alana, haven't you been listening? What do you think I want? I want the same thing I've wanted since I was an awkward teenager, since I saw my sister's wonderful friend come into our house. I want you. I want to be with you, properly. I don't give a shit about Jack. You think I care about some billionaire? Money can’t buy what we’ve just had,” he said, pointing to the ground where they had just made love. Alana felt an uncomfortable swell of anxiety within her. She didn't like where this was going.
Dylan...you know that you and I . . . that it could never work.”
“Why?” he challenged.
“You're Marie's brother, for one thing. It would be weird.”
“That's bullshit and you know it. Tell me the real reason.” He raked his fingers through his hair.
She turned away. “It just won't,” she said, and started to walk away from him, her footsteps heavy in the sand. Dylan strode after her and grabbed her arm, pulling her around to face him again.
“No, you don't just get to walk away from me that easily, not without an explanation. You think I don't feel anything? I know that what we have is real, and whether you want to admit it or not there's something there. So, tell me now why you don't want us to be together.”
“Because you're a loser!” she yelled before she could stop herself. Tears sprung to her eyes.
“A loser? Why, because I don't have thousands of dollars in my bank account,
because I don't have a car or my own place to live?” Alana nodded. Yes! Yes, that’s exactly why! Dylan walked closer to her. “Or maybe it's because I remind you where you've come from. Because when you look at me you see everything that you've been trying to run away from. Well don't you get it Alana? This is who you are. This is who you've always been and you can't run away from that. Why do you think you've been alone all your life? You've been trying to live this life that just isn't you. You haven't been able to be happy because you can't be, not when you're living a lie. Don't you see that?”
“This is what I want!” she said, eyes beginning to blur with tears. Dylan was mean and cruel but the worst thing was that he was right. He'd struck right to the heart of the matter and she couldn't deny him. But she could run away.
“I love you Alana!” he called out, and this time he did not chase her or pull her back. She ran back to the bikes, jumped on hers and cycled home, tears streaming down her face. Trees, ocean, rocks, bush and the wide-open road blurred as Alana raced toward home.
Chapter 8
What was she doing? To think that she’d almost given up everything she’d ever wanted just for some sweet sex in the sand! Yes, there was a part of her that longed to stay with Dylan; to live free and easy, seeking one adventure after another. But she was thirty-two. It was time to settle down. Maybe even have a couple of kids. Kids that would not suffer as she had. Kids that would have every advantage, every opportunity, everything their little hearts desired. She was already picturing the lavishly decorated nursery, the little - girl room all pink with white frills.
Dylan was opposite Jack in every way. She hated how he reminded her of the family from which she had escaped. It was as though the two parts of herself were at war. There was the old Alana she had spent so much effort in trying to escape, cultivating a new life and a new image for herself. For a long time she had considered this part of her to be dead, but it had risen like a phoenix and returned with a vengeance. Dylan’s face as he’d called out to her flashed across her mind, and she quickly buried the vision, carefully folded it away, never to be re-opened. She would not look back. She was the new Alana.
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