Honesty and transparency. That’s what he wanted. But he wouldn’t get it from me. In addition to avoidance, all I had were secrets and lies, and when I eventually told him the truth, it was going to break his heart. The aftermath of that video was messing up my life, again. I looked at my phone. He’d texted:
Call me back.
The message was followed by two heart emojis and one sleepy head. I rolled over in bed, away from the phone. Away from my temptation to do what he asked – call him for whispered, sleepy words that lovers exchanged when they were apart from each other, or maybe more catching up on each other’s stories. There were lots of gaps to fill in. We were enjoying filling them in.
I let the thought drift through my mind that I could keep my secret. I toyed with the idea of not telling him about Isaiah. After all, he wasn’t legally his son.
But who was I kidding? I could never keep such a thing. Secrets had a way of coming out. Stephen wanted children. I’d have to confess to an O.B. doctor that I’d had another pregnancy.
And then, what about Isaiah? Didn’t he deserve to know that a famous, successful, good man like Stephen Pierce was his father? I was going down a rabbit hole with my thoughts. The imagination of the writer. I had a penchant for the dramatic. I knew I had to do what was right, but wrong was tempting.
I stretched my hand to the nightstand for my clutch and removed the business card I’d gotten tonight from the writer, Alicia Lyons.
“Tell your story,” she’d said. “It’ll be great,” she’d said.
My story was not unique. What was special about a virgin getting pregnant on prom night? Who wanted to read that?
I put Alicia’s card on the nightstand. I wouldn’t throw it away, because no writer worth their salt ever tossed a business card, but I wasn’t going to write. My story would be another American tragedy.
I rolled over again and found myself face-to-face with my cell phone and the call to Stephen. I swiped the screen and let my finger hover over his name.
I thought about those whispered, sleepy words he’d utter in his deep, velvety voice and pulled my finger back. I wanted to hear those words, but I had to protect my heart.
I put the phone on the nightstand, turned off the light, and pulled the comforter over my head.
“Sorry, babe.”
Chapter 6
The football went up, spun, and Stephen lunged for it.
I closed my eyes for a moment. The ever-present fear that he would get hurt doing all those acrobatics on the field was always with me. Men from the other team were coming from everywhere. Stephen held out his arm and blocked a big guy. He was flying across the field in the zig-zag pattern he’d perfected.
The fans were on their feet, hollering, cheering, and screaming as he ran the final seventy yards into the end zone for a touchdown. The crowd went insane. I stood with everyone else and clapped. The Giants needed those points.
Stephen dropped to one knee and prayed for a few seconds. He stood, kissed the ball, and danced in a circle for the fans. When he was done the members of his team that were nearby hugged him, gave him pounds, and slaps on the back.
Waving to fans as he moved, he started a slow jog in my direction. I looked around to see what he was coming for, but when he stopped directly in front of me, I realized he’d been coming for me. He removed his helmet. The Giants didn’t have an official mascot, but a man dressed in a bobble-head Giant’s costume was at his side. He handed Stephen a small box.
My heart froze. I stuttered, “What are you doing?”
His face was flush with perspiration and excitement. It was red on one side from the pounding he’d taken in the last play where a linebacker had landed on his head. He dropped to one knee again.
All of his movements appeared to be happening in slow motion. Stephen removed a ring, took my hand and said, “Tamar Johnson, I love you. Will you marry me?”
The crowd went insane again. Everyone cheered. I glanced up at the big screen. The words, “Say yes!” scrolled in flashing red and pink lights and hearts. A thunderous chant came from the stands on both sides. “Say yes! Say yes!”
The bobble head waved his arms and kicked his feet to get the crowd riled up.
I looked into Stephen’s eyes. “A public proposal?”
“I’ve had this ring for two weeks. I’ve been waiting for you to come to a game. I was also hoping I’d get a touchdown.” He kissed my fingers. “So, what’s it going to be?”
My heart cracked as loudly as my voice. “I love you.”
“I love you too, babe.” His eyes were as wet as the perspiration that framed his face.
I nodded and wiggled my finger.
“Is that a yes?” He smiled a sensational, gorgeous smile that sucked the answer out of me.
“Yes.”
Stephen slid the enormous ring up my finger.
The crowd went insane again. He stood, pulling me with him. He cupped my face and kissed me. “I promise to make you happy.”
He spun around to the crowd and pumped his fist. The big screen read: She said yes!
Stephen picked up his helmet and ran back onto the field.
The people around and behind my seat congratulated me. I was still in shock. I dropped into my seat and stared at my finger. I was blinded by the sparkle. It was a square diamond, but it was different. I didn’t even know what the cut was, but I knew it had to be five or more carats. It was obscenely huge.
“It’s gorgeous,” the woman next me said, appreciating it with me.
I swallowed the emotion stuck in my throat and nodded agreement I could not verbalize. The dread I’d been pushing down into my belly was back. He’d made this big show of asking me to marry him. How was I going to break his heart now?
***
Stephen and I climbed into one of the twenty, stretch limos that lined the street on both sides outside the Giants Training Center. After a short celebration in Atlanta, we boarded planes to Newark. Stephen and I changed at his house and then met the team and staff for a proper celebration in New York City.
“Are we riding with anyone else?” I asked. “This is a lot of room.”
“No, I asked for my own car. I had the winning touchdown, so it was easy to get what I wanted, plus they loved the publicity I got for them today. The proposal. They owe me this car.”
“Speaking of that…”
“Yes,” Stephen said, taking my hand. He looked at the ring.
“You shouldn’t have.”
“The ring or the limo?” he teased.
“The ring, Stephen.” I was serious and he knew it, but he silenced me with a quick peck on the lips.
“This is nothing. If you’re going to stay in Atlanta, we have to get you out of that apartment, babe. You can’t keep this kind of jewelry in a place that’s not that secure.”
I frowned. He kissed me again. This time the kiss was long and tender. When he pulled back, my heart was racing, but I managed to protest. “I like my apartment.”
“You dislike change,” he chastised me. “Having the good things in life is a part of being in my world, Tay. Get used to it.” His dreamy eyes were filled with love, adoration, and happiness.
I melted under his gaze. He was so content and happy right now. I relaxed. I couldn’t argue with him. He took my hand, raised my palm to his lips and kissed it. “This is one of the best days of my life.”
“Winning the NFC championship is a lot to be proud of,” I said. “Getting that touchdown was a boss move.”
“The touchdown was great, but knowing I had the ring and hearing you say yes… I don’t know, it was like the icing on the cake.”
“Such a cliché.” I smirked. “But seriously, Stephen. Why did you do that?”
“Because I love you.”
“We’ve been back together for a half hour. You can’t propose.”
“I can, and I did though.” He paused for a moment and said, “Tamar, I knew w
hen we were kids I was going to spend my life with you, otherwise, I wouldn’t have accepted something as precious as your virginity. But then things went left, and you disappeared. I convinced myself that I was wrong. As I got older, I felt the Lord pressing me about you. I kept running from it. Too much time. Too much pain. Failure on my part. I had been successful in every area in my life, but I had failed the one person I wanted to win for. All I had was football.”
“But it’s too soon. You have to know we aren’t here yet.”
He took my hand and raised it between us, so the ring was visible. “This is a symbol of my love. It’s about my intentions toward you. I failed you publicly, Tay. I had to make it right publicly. I don’t want you as my girlfriend or my bae or boo. My desire is for you to be my wife. I know you think it’s soon, but it’s not for me. I’m ready. I’m waiting for you.” He let go of my hand. “I’m here as long as it takes. I’m already at forever and happily ever after.”
Stephen’s words were romantic, but they made no sense. “It’s not possible for you to be thinking about forever.”
Stephen smirked. “You know me. I’ve been thinking about forever since I was six.”
I smiled through the tightness in my chest. He was right. He’d always had eternity in his sights from a spiritual and natural perspective, but I never expected him to do this before I had a chance to…
“Tay.” Stephen cut off my thoughts. “Baby, you just flew like ten thousand miles away. I didn’t say marry me tomorrow. Stop stressing.”
His phone rang. He raised a finger and took the call. Whoever it was, was talking about the game. He and his teammates had to be running on pure adrenaline. They’d already partied post game in the locker room and now they were headed into NYC to the Hudson Terrace where the celebrating would continue.
Parties. I hated them. Between last night and tonight, I’d already had enough of people.
I let my attention drift to the view outside the window of the limo. I couldn’t believe Stephen had proposed like that. On national television. Now he would have to reconcile our breakup with the entire world.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Such was life with us, right? We couldn’t help but live our lives out loud for the world.
Stephen ended his call. “Clyde. I’m up for contract renewal next year. He can’t stop thinking about money.”
He smiled again, and I saw the eternity of his happiness in his eyes. He should be happy, but his joy overwhelmed me. He thought I was a part of his peace. He had no idea I was not.
“I know you don’t like parties, but this is the job.” He must have been guessing why I was such a Solemn Sally. “I appreciate you stepping up.”
“I’m working, remember. I’m proud of you. I’m happy for your team.”
“Happy for us. I’m about to get paid.”
The driver announced we’d arrived, but we had to wait in line. The limo slowed.
Stephen reached for my hand again. He touched the ring. His forehead creased, eyebrows raised. “If you don’t like this one, you know we can exchange it.”
I pressed my lips together. If only my life was about simple choices right now, like the only thing on my mind was a ring. I had to fight tears. If I looked at him right now, I’d cry. I looked down at the ring. Focused on the stone and the band until I could keep the tears from wetting my eyes, keep the croak out of my voice. I shook my head. “There isn’t a reasonable woman on the planet who wouldn’t like this ring.”
“All women aren’t reasonable. Trust me. That’s what makes you special.”
I raised my eyes to meet his. I chuckled. “The fact that I’m reasonable. That’s what you were looking for in a wife?”
He shrugged. “One quality. There’s a whole lot more to you, Tamar Johnson.” He winked. “Anyway, I’m glad you like it.”
I twisted it on my finger. It was a perfect fit. I didn’t even have to get it sized. I wasn’t going to ask him how he managed that. It would just be more Stephen Pierce magic.
“Stephen, what if I hurt you?” I blurted the question out before I even realized I had.
He frowned. “Why would you do that?”
I wasn’t prepared to explain why I was asking him. I wanted to take the question back. “Not on purpose, but what if?”
“People hurt each other. We know that better than anyone, but we’re not kids anymore. We’d talk it out until we worked it out.”
“Are you sure…I mean, there are limits, you know?”
“Baby, you are bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh. I know that’s deep, but that’s the way I see it. I see it the way God describes it in the Word. There’s nothing you could do to run me away.”
What about something I’ve done?
The limo rolled forward and stopped again. The driver came around to open the door on Stephen’s side.
Stephen paused before he stepped out. “So, you have something in your past you haven’t shared. Tay, it’s been twelve years. You’ve been living your life. You can tell me or not tell me, but I promise you, whatever it is, it won’t matter. I love you. I’ll love you no matter what. I hope you feel the same way about me, or at least you will someday. Like I said, I’m willing to wait. Until then, call it a promise ring.”
He stepped out of the car and extended a hand to me. I took it. I felt that tingle in my belly that happened every time we touched each other. Bone of his bone. Flesh of his flesh. He had no idea how deep that flesh and bone went for me.
I’d really stepped in doo-doo with the relationship. What had I been thinking when I’d allowed him to push his way into my life? Too bad I loved him. Too bad he loved me. Too bad this ring would never be more than a promise.
Chapter 7
“When?”
I raised an eyebrow. Stephen’s voice still had that thick, sultry, sleepy morning sound. It was warm and inviting. Intoxicating.
“When?” I pulled my blouse over my head. “Sir, you said I had time.”
“I think I’m changing my mind. I’m ready to wake up to my wife. Like, we can fly to Vegas, or Miami, or wherever you want to go and do it today.”
“Don’t you want a wedding?” I asked putting my earrings in.
“I want you.”
My heart fluttered and ached at the same time. “You have practice this week. You know there’s this little thing called the Super Bowl.”
“But today’s my day off.” He yawned loud and long.
“Well, sir, it is not my day off. I have one foot in a shoe and my hand on the Keurig. I have to get to work.”
Stephen groaned. “When are you going to quit that job?”
I rolled my neck like he could see me. “I’m not.”
“Not?”
“This is my career. I know you’re a big, rich football player, but I’m only your wife in the Range Rover. I’m a girlfriend recently turned a potential fiancé. What would it look like if I quit my job?”
“It would look like you were ready to become Mrs. Pierce. You know you could move to New Jersey so I could see you more often. You could plan the wedding.”
“The wedding I’m not sure I want to have yet?”
“That’s semantics. You gonna be mad in love with me before Easter. Wedding planning is a future Mrs. Pierce worthy activity.”
Now I rolled my eyes.
Stephen continued. “If it’s money you’re concerned about, I’ll call my accountant today and have them cut a pre-marital check for you.”
“Yeah, is that going to come with the pre-nup?”
Stephen chuckled. “Baby, we will not have a pre-nup. You and I are going to be married until God separates us.”
I sighed and released a long breath.
“That’s not a happy sound,” Stephen said. “I would think no pre-nup was a good thing.”
“Maybe I’m planning to be richer than you one day.”
Stephen laughed. Loud. “You know what. I can see that, so if you ne
ed me to sign a pre-nup, by all means have one drawn up. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
I shook my head. “I bet you would.”
“It won’t matter anyway,” Stephen said. “No divorce. We don’t believe in it.”
“Sometimes I don’t know what I believe.”
“I believe it enough for both of us.”
“Well, we’ll have to get married first and to do that I need to actually agree to marry you for real. This is a promise ring, remember?”
Stephen was quiet on that point.
“I have to go.”
“Cool, Clyde just called me. He probably wants to talk Super Bowl stuff.” He hesitated again. “Tay.”
“Hmmm.”
“Thank you.”
I searched my memory for what I might have done. “For what?”
“For saying yes and not embarrassing me in front of the entire world.”
My heart pinched some more. “I’d be a fool not to, right?”
“You said that. Girl, nobody is ever going to love you the way I do. No point holding out for another brother.”
I had no doubt that was true. “Have a blessed day.”
Stephen’s voice deepened. “Already blessed.” He ended the call.
I reached into the freezer for a microwave dinner and dropped it and an apple in my lunch bag.
My phone rang again.
Stephen had a habit of calling back. The man was doing his best to try to manipulate me out of my job. I swiped to take the call.
“Tamar.” The connection was poor, but it was Kim’s voice coming through the speaker.
“My phone. Who else?”
“You okay?” This time her voice cracked.
“Okay?” I stopped moving. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“You haven’t listened to the radio or looked at the blogs this morning?”
“No. I’m running late. I have a big meeting this morning. What is it?”
Kim sighed. “It’s probably a bunch of lies, but there’s a story out about Stephen.”
I frowned. “What kind of story?”
The Winter Wedding Page 5
