“I don’t think Tamar has watched much of it.”
“Good. She trusts you. Trust is important,” Clyde said and then he chuckled. “Not that any of my relationships require it.”
We walked out the front door.
“One day you’re going to meet a woman who is going to change all that.”
“No one woman is going to change that. I’m not like you Saint Stephen. Women are like slow raindrops. There’s one falling from the sky every few seconds.”
I shook my head. “Not the right woman, man. The right woman does not fall from the sky. Believe me when I tell you, after I let Tamar go, I experienced a drought.”
Clyde smirked.
“I mean an emotional drought, Clyde. Sex and a real connection aren’t the same thing. Someone having your back, sharing your dreams, supporting you, and really loving you is not easy to find. But when you have it, it’s like gold, man.”
“I am too old for lover’s fairy tales.”
“You’re not much older than me.”
“Well, the five years I have on you have been hard. I like to keep my dalliances light, unlike my meals. I’m starved. You want to have lunch?” Clyde asked.
“No, I need to take care of some things. I’m going to Georgia tomorrow.”
“Okay. Well, keep your hands together.” Clyde pressed his palms together in a praying posture. “A little help from the Man upstairs is welcome.”
I didn’t care for references to God as the Man upstairs, but I knew Clyde’s heart. He was acknowledging God’s power the best way he knew how. “He’s on it. Trust me. I don’t keep it together without Him.”
Clyde’s lip turned up. “I was proud of you in there. You did good.”
I could see that he really was. I nodded. “I’ll talk to you later.”
We went in opposite directions to our vehicles.
I climbed in and started my truck. I had a twenty-minute drive. Twenty minutes until I was in the privacy of my home. I pulled out of the parking lot and willed myself to make the drive without breaking down. Ten minutes later, I was on the side of the road, sobbing my heart out.
God, I want to play football. Please heal me.
Chapter 40
It was a good week. I heard back from my agent about the book proposal. All three publishers wanted it. We had meetings with offers and then my agent wrapped up the negotiations. I had a book deal and a quarter of a million-dollar advance.
If that wasn’t enough to celebrate, there was the news about Debra McAllister’s secret wedding. Photos were posted all over social media. Fans were surprised and some disappointed she’d announced her new husband – some big money business man – was the father of her child.
Debra posted the following under a picture of them frolicking in the waters on a Fiji beach:
We had an in utero paternity test. #HeDaDaddy
Questions about her original claim regarding Stephen Pierce were met with Debra’s response that she would prefer not to share anymore statements because the Internet was forever.
“Twenty years from now my son will have access to the comments. We can’t take words back, so let’s just move forward with who his father is,” she said in a ten second IG story.
I couldn’t deny her claim. What we put on the Internet never went away, but I still slid her the side-eye. This slick chick didn’t seem to have any issues with television being forever.
And just like that, the mess was over.
I sent a text to Stephen:
So, you not da daddy!
Stephen replied:
Was there any doubt? Smiley emojis. My lawyer requested and received proof of the DNA test. I’m with my trainer. I’ll call later.
I smiled. But I still resented her. “What a manipulative little…”
“Tamar, did you get more yogurt from the store?”
I looked up from my cell phone and placed it on the table. “I did. What flavor do you want?”
Aunt Joe pushed herself up from the sofa. “I’ll get it. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t get my mouth ready for something we didn’t have.” She took a few steps without her cane, got her footing and went into the kitchen.
Aunt Joe was done with treatment. She was eating more and working harder to get things for herself. She was stronger, which meant she was better. I closed my eyes and prayed. “Lord, please continue to heal her.”
I opened my eyes just as Aunt Joe came out of the kitchen and took a seat on the sofa where she’d been.
“I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this,” Aunt Joe said.
I cocked an eyebrow. “I’ve learned a lot of lessons. Which one are you referring to?”
“That you have to stop letting the world come between you and Stephen.” Aunt Joe pointed at my phone. “I know it looks like I don’t know anything about social media, but I saw that Debra woman’s videos on the Instagram site.”
“I wasn’t stressed about that.”
“That may be true this time, but you can’t let people’s words come between you. Baby, Stephen Pierce is still a celebrity. This Debra situation won’t be the last mess he’ll be in. He’ll be in mess as long as he’s playing ball and as long as he’s living a life to honor God.”
I released a breath. I wished what she was saying was false, but I knew it wasn’t.
She continued. “He has a public side to his life. You have to be strong enough to deal with it.”
I joined my aunt on the sofa. I wrapped my arm around her. “Have I ever told you you are the best substitute mother a woman could ever have?”
Aunt Joe fought smiling. She patted my arm. “You are better than any daughter I could have ever prayed for.” She looked me squarely in the eyes. “Your mother would be so proud of you.”
Her words made my heart melt. “I wish she was here with me now. I wish she could know my son. She would love Stephen. She did love Stephen, but she’d be so proud of who he is today.”
Aunt Joe raised a hand to sweep a loose curl off my face. “You’ve got to learn how to take praise, baby. I’m talking about you right now.”
I lowered my eyes. She put a finger under my chin and lifted my head. “Your mother’s heart would be full of joy over the beautiful, talented, kind daughter she raised. I’m sorry she can only see you from heaven, but I sure am glad that I get to enjoy who you are.”
I hugged her again.
“Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for taking such good care of me.”
Tears filled my eyes. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I know. You’re a good girl, but now I need you to get back to your life. I’m starting to feel like my old self, and I have help. I’m not alone here.”
I frowned. “Maybe just a few more weeks.”
Aunt Joe shook her head. “No. I want you to leave soon, and I want you to take Isaiah with you.”
My frown deepened. “Auntie, I can’t do that to you.”
“Tamar, Isaiah is your child. He’s Stephen’s child. I love him. God knows I do, but Stephen has a right to his son. And I’m not just talking legally because I know he has that too. He’s been patient, but all that traveling back and forth is going to get old.”
“Aunt Joe, he and I haven’t even talked about this at all.”
Aunt Joe pressed her lips together. “He’s being patient. But he’s been patient enough. I have prepared myself for the day when Isaiah would find out who his father was. I knew this was coming and I have not made this decision lightly.”
My heart sank. I felt like I was betraying her. “I’m so shocked.”
“The world doesn’t need another black boy growing up without a daddy in the house. If things had not come to a head like they did, I was going to talk to you about it. I had plans to do it before Isaiah turned thirteen. Thirteen was the age I promised myself I wouldn’t let it get beyond. It’s obvious that was God’s plan too, so I’m ready.”
<
br /> I squeezed Aunt Joe’s hand again.
“I want you to pack up your stuff – you and Isaiah’s – and after my doctor’s appointment on Thursday, you know the one where the doctor gives me the all clear, I want you to leave.”
I released a long breath. “I do miss home.”
Aunt Joe rolled her neck. “Atlanta is not where Stephen Pierce is. You can just stay on the plane and keep heading north.”
I chuckled. “I have to talk to Stephen about that.”
“I said Isaiah needs to be around his father. I’m sure Stephen will be more than willing to rent you a place near him. He’s ready to take care of his family. You all could use the time before he starts the new season.”
My heart sank a little. “If he starts.”
“He’s playing. I had a dream about him the other night. I saw him playing ball. And Isaiah is too excited to see his daddy on that field. God is handing out miracles.” Aunt Joe raised her hands in praise. “Look at me.” She did a little dance and shoved her spoon into the yogurt cup.
I smiled with her. “Yeah, look at you,” I whispered.
Then I whispered in my soul. Lord, thank You.
Chapter 41
“I’ve got good news,” I shrieked. Before Stephen could ask what, I told him about Aunt Joe’s medical report.”
My joy was contagious. I could hear it in Stephen’s voice. “So, she’s good. That’s great.”
“The doctors don’t quite say it that way, but she’s done with treatment. Things look clear, so I say she’s healed,” I exclaimed. “She’s stronger, and she’s been getting around really good. I can see her health is coming back.”
“God is good.”
I slowed my words. “So, since she’s better. I thought, there’s really no reason for me to be here anymore. I was planning to head back to Atlanta with Isaiah, but—”
Stephen was quick to interrupt. “Atlanta?”
“Let me finish,” I teased. “I was going to say that is, unless you want us to come to New Jersey.”
Stephen was silent for a moment. A long moment. When he spoke, his voice cracked like he was fighting to keep from crying. “You know there’s nothing I want more. When?”
His excitement brought a smile to my face. “I’m packing now. We’re going to drive to Atlanta after lunch. I want to leave my car with Kim. She has an old clunker and since this one is really in good shape now that you’ve put a ton of money into it—”
“Thanks to the failed oil change,” Stephen interjected.
“Yes, I want her to have it. I have my beloved, abandoned Range Rover.” I pulled the box that held my journals from under my bed.
“I can have a moving service bring it up,” Stephen offered.
“I don’t think there’s any need yet. You have two SUVs, and I’ll need to get around when I come back here for work.
“Whatever you want. I’ll book flights for you out of Atlanta for tomorrow afternoon.”
I laughed. “Give me until Saturday. I want to stop by the office tomorrow and talk to my boss. I need to get permission to continue teleworking now that Aunt Joe is better. I’m no longer going to be using Family Medical Leave.”
“Okay, but early on Saturday. I miss you. I miss him.”
This time it was my heart that smiled. “We miss you too,” I said. “Although, Isaiah may eventually miss his friends. You know this is his home.”
“I know, babe. We’ll deal with that when the time comes. Right now, I want you guys with me. We need to spend as much time together as we can before the season starts.”
I blinked and paused sure that meant something. “You mean before camp.” There was a stillness on the other end that told me I didn’t know everything. “Stephen?”
“I’m on the injured reserve list, babe.”
The gasp slipped out before I could stop it. “But…when did you find out?”
“The other day.”
I fought to keep the groan in my spirit from passing through my lips. I know he was heartbroken. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I could feel him shrug through the phone. “I was waiting until I saw you, but I just saw a story about my status on ESPN, so I was thinking I was going to tell you like now. That’s why I was calling.”
The phone had been lying on the bed. I sat, picked it up and took it off speaker like that was going to bring us closer. “Are you okay?”
“I’m strong in God. He knows what I want. And if I can’t play football anymore, I’ll find something else to do.”
My heart sank. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m good. Really. I feel what I’m saying most of the time. It’s a minute-by-minute thing. I’m scared, but I’m trying not to worry, you know.”
“Being anxious is normal.”
“Maybe, but God tells me do not be anxious, so I’m trying to keep my mind occupied. You guys being up here will completely solve that.” I heard a smile slip back into his voice. “I was planning to head down there. Now I don’t have to. I’d be lying to both of us if I didn’t tell you I need you right now.”
I felt his words. I felt them in my own heart as well. I missed him. Missed his hugs and his kisses. His warmth. I missed being with him period.
I was proud of him. “I’m so glad to hear the real Stephen Pierce again.”
Stephen chuckled. “He’s back, and he’s never leaving again.”
It was relief that filled my heart this time. “I’m going to get off this phone and do some more packing.”
“Don’t try to bring it all. We can get the rest later. I want us to pop back down so we can take Aunt Joe out to celebrate. I mean, really do it up.”
“About that. I have an idea.” I stood and went back to putting things in the suitcase. “I was thinking about having a party at the church.”
“That’s cool. Invite everybody in town if you want. It’s on me.”
“Ooh, on you. I’m ‘bout to spend some money,” I teased. “Let me pack, so I can get on the road early. I love you, Stephen.”
“I love you too, babe.”
We lingered on the phone for a moment and then ended the call. I danced to the closet for the rest of my clothes.
Chapter 42
A Federal Express van stopped in front of the house. The timing couldn’t have been better. I’d been listening for the sound of a delivery truck all morning. It was the contract for my book.
After the driver gave it to me, I squealed and pulled it to my chest.
With my second mug of coffee in hand, I sat at the kitchen table and opened the envelope. The contract was lengthy. My agent was an attorney, but I still took the time to read every word.
It was all good until the end. The requirements for marketing were included. Most of the information was expected. I was required to do book signings and interviews and such, but there was one other clearly defined responsibility. I had to promote my book using social media. It basically said I was required to have Instagram, Twitter, Facebook accounts, and any other media deemed an appropriate promotion funnel.
I pushed the offending document away and took the last sip of my cold coffee.
I hated social media.
Social media was the reason I had the book in the first place. I picked up my phone and called my agent.
“Tamar, social media is the main way that people sell merchandise. It’s an absolute must for books and speaking,” she said.
I sighed. Did I really expect her to tell me I didn’t have to do it? I didn’t. I just wanted someone to know that I didn’t want to.
“I realize you’re gun-shy, but you don’t have to share your life. I’d like you to work with a brand specialist. I have a few people I can recommend. I’ll email their names.”
I was stuck. Social media was a part of our culture; therefore, social media was happening. I took a deep breath. It was just something I was going to have to get over.
Or did
I?
I wasn’t the kind of woman who wanted to rely solely on her man, but my man was worth a fortune. Stephen came out his rookie year at $6 million and had been playing for seven years with his current contract being a guaranteed $45 million. I didn’t have to worry about the $250,000. I could walk away from it and leave social media to the rest of the world.
But I was sure this was my calling. God had confirmed it in too many ways and on too many days. Although I had only done two speaking engagements, they were important to me. And then there were the Melissa Teasley’s of the world. The young women who needed my book.
I called Kim. She would talk some sense into me and push out any lingering doubt. Before I could say anything, she spoke.
“I finished your book last night. I started to text you, but I didn’t want to wake you up. Girl, this book is so powerful. You are a great writer, but I didn’t know you had this in you.”
I sat up straighter. “Really? It’s a rough draft.”
“It’s fire, Tamar. I know we’ve talked about your journey some, but you laid it bare in a way that made me think about how vulnerable we all are. I cried several times.”
My heart leapt. “Wow! Really?”
“I prayed while I was reading. I prayed for victims out there right now dealing with this. Girl, you’re going to help so many young people. You’re going to save lives with your testimony. Just like you did with Melissa.”
“I just let the words flow.”
“They were smart to give you a book deal. That’s for sure. You need to get yourself ready for the speaking engagements. Like I told you, I see high schools and college auditoriums in your future.”
“You really believe that? I hope so. I don’t want to be out in these streets baring my soul for nothing.”
“No worries about that. It’s a powerhouse. You need to also start a YouTube channel or something. I know you don’t want to, but young people are on YouTube and Instagram trolling for videos and sound bites.”
“Funny you should suggest it. That’s kind of why I was calling. I have to do social media. It’s in my contract. You know how much I hate it.”
The Winter Wedding Page 24
