by S.E. Akers
One of my college applications. The same one I filled out and placed in the mailbox at the end of our drive two months ago. Not only was I completely crushed, but extremely livid as well! I could feel my eyes beginning to well, so I took a deep breath in an attempt to dissolve every last tear before they could escape. It was painfully evident. There was no surprise birthday dinner planned and most assuredly, no trip to tour any colleges — not after this discovery!
“What is it, Shi?” Katie asked.
I flipped the envelope around for her to see. “One of my COLLEGE APPLICATIONS!” I fumed.
Katie’s mouth flew open.
I looked towards the rear of the shelf where I spied another manila envelope sticking out from behind some bags. I pushed everything off in one guided swoop. There, secretly tucked away, were more 9 x 12 mustard-colored envelopes — in fact, every damn one of them!
“What a heartless bitch,” Katie mumbled, her voice shaky and solemn. “I’m so sorry, Shi.”
I stood there in a surreal trance and slammed my white-knuckled fists on the shelf. I couldn’t have been any more furious right now if I tried. I glared at the envelopes in a fiery daze while I thought about all the time I’d spent filling them out as well as all the hard work I’d done my entire life to keep a 4.0 GPA — just to have my mother try to destroy my dreams with one calculated and callous act!
Katie helped me down and pleaded, “Please don’t cry. She’s not worth it. You’ll mess up your makeup.”
I shot her a blank stare. I knew she was just trying to comfort me in her own way, but I was inconsolable. This was a new low for Charlotte, even in light of her recent suspected indiscretions. Rest assured, I wasn’t about to let one tear smudge an ounce of her work. I wouldn’t give Charlotte the satisfaction of crying over this. I was more concerned about how to get bloodstains out of an evening dress.
We heard Charlotte’s voice trailing down the hallway. “What’s taking SO LONG?” my mother barked.
I took a deep breath to compose myself and collect my racing thoughts. “Just go, Katie. I need to handle this — myself.”
Katie hugged me and then raised my chin up with her hand. “I’m going to throw a few things in your bag, okay?”
I nodded inadvertently as she dawdled out of the closet.
Quickly, I collected all the envelopes Charlotte had mischievously hidden and placed the evidence behind my back. Now that the initial wave of anger had passed, I was reminded of the burning pain encircling my neck, which was becoming unbearable at an alarming rate.
Charlotte entered the bedroom in a huff and demanded, “What are you two doing in here?” Katie breezed past my mother, ignoring her question and not even acknowledging her with the slightest look. Charlotte’s gaze followed Katie as she disappeared down the hall.
“What’s your little helper’s problem?” she griped.
My neck may have been killing me, but the rest of my body was numb. My emotions were raw, almost primal. They could only be settled by one thing: an answer to my only question — WHY?
“Wait a second!” Charlotte ran over to her dresser. She started pilfering through her fragrances. Charlotte raised her head and began sniffing the air around her. “Is that PERFUME I smell?” she roared.
I walked slowly over to the dresser. Not even my stilettos made a sound.
“You have a lot of nerve, Shiloh! I only let you in here to get that damn purse to shut your little friend up, and then you take something that doesn’t belong to you when you invade my bedroom! Those are MY THINGS! My private, personal things! You obviously don’t have a clue about what privacy is!”
The sheer irony of her words forced me out my trance. I tossed the envelopes on the dresser, right beside her precious fragrances.
“So?” I began gruffly, “Do you want to be the pot or the kettle?”
Charlotte’s mouth flew open. She knew I’d stumbled upon Charlotte’s web of deceit. Like a coward, she turned and headed straightaway for an escape. I never thought I would ever grab someone with the amount of force that I used on her, but I gave her arm a tight squeeze and yanked her back to where she was originally standing, right in front of the evidence.
Any ounce of fear she may have had a moment ago faded in an instant. She raised her head to reveal a conceited smirk and then jerked her arm from my grasp.
“WHY!?!” I slammed my hand down on the dresser, rattling everything on it. “Tell me why you did this? You know how important college is to me! Why would ‘a mother’ ever do something like this to their daughter? TO THEIR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?”
Her smirk turned into a horrible scowl. Charlotte leaned closer, her face now merely inches from mine.
“I want you to listen to me very carefully because I won’t waste my breath saying it again,” Charlotte announced in a cold, bitter voice. “I did it because I honestly don’t wish or want one good thing for you. I never have, and I never, ever will!” The words that came out of her mouth were so sharp and frigid that I stared blankly at her for a moment, trying to see if the bitch actually had icicles dripping from her teeth. Then to drive her point home, she flicked the oval locket that lay atop my inflamed skin. Shrewdly, she stepped back to assess the emotional damage from her cruel and cutting words.
And there it was — my answer. I think deep down inside I’d always known how she truly felt. Her heartless behavior over the years was evidence enough, but hearing her unfiltered sentiments roll off her wicked tongue just validated it and oddly, was helping to set my feelings free, almost like a magical spell had been broken. As heartbroken as what someone would think I would’ve been at this moment, strangely emotional pain was the last thing on my mind. I found myself focusing on the excruciating physical pain burning my skin, rather than the gouging my heart had just received. The gold chain felt like a circle of fire engulfing my neck. I stepped back to catch my breath while I fanned myself, feeling like I could break out into a feverish sweat at any second. I grasped the mahogany dresser and found myself kneeling down to brace myself, trying to block out the agonizing sting. A revelation surfaced. Everything in my life that was causing me pain had to go!
I grabbed my little oval locket and gave it a hard yank. I felt a small cut on the back of my neck as its chain snapped. The burning sensation around my neck was starting to subside, but in an odd twist, my hand started to feel warm. I rose up and threw my treasured locket down on top of the envelopes. It represented the idea that my mother had some shred of love in her heart for me. Now that I knew it was only a far-fetched fantasy my mind had concocted, there was no need to fuel the delusion anymore.
“TAKE IT!” I shouted. “It means NOTHING TO ME! It’s just a broken promise of your love. A constant reminder of broken promises and lies dangling from my neck like a noose! But you know all about broken promises, don’t you, Charlotte? Or did the minister leave out ‘forsaking all others’ during your wedding vows?”
Charlotte’s eyes shot into a fierce glare. She started to speak, but I quickly cut her off.
“SHUT UP! You don’t get to say anything. Not right now! Just save it for my ‘special birthday dinner’ tomorrow night.” I picked up all the manila envelopes and threw them in the air. “Or better yet, you can spill it when we’re on our ‘trip’ — TOURING COLLEGES!”
I gave my neck a quick rub as I looked into the mirror above the dresser. It felt amazingly better. I was honestly surprised there wasn’t even the hint of a rash, let alone any noticeable discoloration. My skin felt great and most important, my mind felt clearer, especially after giving Charlotte an earful. Now, I just had to work on my heart.
I pushed past her forcefully. “Excuse me!” I called out.
Charlotte demanded, “Don’t you dare walk away from me!”
I swung around in the doorway. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got a promise to keep. We all know Mike can’t show up to the dance by himself. Chloe can�
�t have that.” I started to head down the hall when the red-suited devil perched on my shoulder willingly routed me back to the bedroom.
“Oh, and don’t worry, Charlotte. I’ll make sure Mike has a very good time,” I vowed with a wink.
Charlotte’s bottom lip dropped like a sack of wrenches. She charged towards me in a fit of rage, but unfortunately for her, I managed to slam the door shut and locked it before she could reach the threshold. I jerked the tiny key out of the hole and hid it in a basket of magazines that sat tucked under a nearby table. I heard her cussing all the way down the hall.
I flew into the living room and seized Mike’s arm. “Let’s go!” I demanded as I pulled him towards the front door.
“Where’s Mom?” Chloe questioned.
I nodded my head towards the direction of the master bedroom. Chloe charged back there like a flash of lightning.
Katie quickly caught up with us outside and handed me the little black clutch. “Here’s your purse. I put a few things in it for you. Are you okay?” she asked, taken aback by my abrupt departure.
Samuel rushed over, looking even more bewildered. “What’s wrong, honey? You seem upset. What happened back there?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I have to go!” I tried to make a dash for Mike’s Camaro, but Samuel stepped in front of me, blocking my path.
“Did you and your mother get into a fight back there?” Samuel asked. I turned my head to avoid any damning eye contact. “And where’s your little necklace that you love so much?” he continued to question.
Katie looked at my neck. “Yeah. What hap—”
I interrupted both of their interrogations. “I took it off, OKAY?” I snapped. “It means nothing to me. Not anymore!”
The sound of Mike’s engine revving soon filled the awkward and silent lull floating around our huddle. I looked at Samuel’s stunned expression and softened my tone.
“Katie will fill you in, Samuel. I’ll call you later, Katie.”
I turned and staggered along the bumpy gravel drive. Mike had gotten back out of his car to open the passenger-door for me. I’d never seen him display this sort of gentleman-like decorum towards Chloe. I shook my head and let out a laugh as I climbed into the shiny red muscle car.
You’ve got to be kiddin’…
I felt like a caged tiger while I sat there, confined inside the cramped interior of his car. So many emotions were raging all at once, but love certainly wasn’t one of them. Charlotte had seen to that when she attempted to sabotage my plans for college.
I kicked the floorboard and let out a grunt. No wonder I haven’t heard from any of the Universities I’ve sent applications. They never left the damn house!
Mike opened his door and started to climb in the car. Samuel detained Mike with a simple tap on his shoulder and began laying down the law to my fake-date.
“I don’t know what just happened in there, but I want to make something clear to you, young man,” Samuel instructed. His voice was eerily thunderous and intimidating. “You take care of Shiloh . . . Do you understand me?”
Mike appeared skittish and very quiet. Samuel’s role was starting to get on my nerves. The only father I needed right now was my real one. I looked through the driver’s side window to see Samuel tormenting Mike with his most threatening stare.
“That’s enough, Samuel,” I called out. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself. Get in the car, Mike!” I slammed myself back against the leather seat and impatiently stared straight ahead.
Mike slid inside, looking a bit shaken. Samuel tapped on the hood of the car and made his “I’m watching you” gesture, one last time. For Mike to be such a young cocky jerk, he sure seemed rattled by a man well in his 50’s.
I snapped my fingers beside his head. “Are you going to put this car in gear or should I?” I asked directly.
With a telling grin and a sly arch of his brow, Mike took hold of the gearshift and not a second later we were bumping along the gravel drive. I tilted my head towards the side-mirror to catch a glimpse of Katie and Samuel as we pulled onto the road.
I really shouldn’t have snapped at them like that. They didn’t do anything. I stared aimlessly at the trees passing by as we zipped down the curvy road. Well, this evening sure has been “momentous” so far…
As we hugged the road alongside Shiloh Ridge, an odd feeling came over me. Maybe it was because of all the crazy things that had happened over past few days (at the rate I was going, surely there would be more momentous things to come), or maybe it was just because he was driving slower than I would have preferred along this creepy damn ridge!
“Speed up will you,” I demanded. “I um, don’t want us to be late.” With that, his sly grin stretched even wider as he punched the gas, and we shot down the mountain in record time.
Chapter 9
