Jordan’s mouth latched onto my neck, sucking and licking his way down to my breast, and when he sucked my nipple between his teeth and bucked his hips at the same time, I cried out in a moan I was sure couldn’t have been mine.
“Oh, God,” I groaned, and the muscles in my body ceased to work. I sat there on top of him without moving, completely useless, but Jordan kept working.
He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to him so that every new thrust of his hips didn’t just make him penetrate me deeper, but also had my clit rubbing against his pelvis, that fire closer and closer to catching with each flex.
“Jordan,” I whispered.
“Oh, fuck, Sydney,” he answered on a breath, my name long and desperate on his lips, and then he was pumping harder, faster, and I knew he was close, too.
His desire fueled mine, and I exploded, thighs clenching around him as I let my orgasm take me under. The spark that finally caught was more like a nuclear blast, one so powerful that I trembled and moaned like I’d left my body entirely in that moment. I floated above it, feeling everything and nothing at all, a powerful sensation of every nerve being ignited at the same time everything inside me numbed.
Jordan came right behind me, burying his head in my chest with a groan and gripping me so tight I could barely breathe as he stilled. I felt his hot release inside me, and I somehow found the strength to move when he couldn’t anymore, riding him until we were both spent, collapsing into each other in a panting tangle of limbs.
The symphony of the forest came back to life, insects and birds singing in the night as our breaths evened out, our bodies hot and slick but still wrapped up in every possible way.
When I finally mustered the energy to peel myself away from him enough to look into his eyes, Jordan ran both hands back through my hair, tugging on it slightly until my chin lifted and his mouth met mine.
“Alright, you little devil,” he said, kissing me hard before he pulled back on a smile and ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “Now that you’ve had your way with me, let’s talk about that date.”
Sydney
“OH, MY GOD, YOU KINKY LITTLE FOX!”
I covered my mouth to suppress my laughter at my sister’s outburst the next day, casting a glance at Paige in the living room to make sure she hadn’t heard anything. College Game Day was on, so of course, I was invisible to her.
“I can’t believe you hooked up with your boss,” Gabby continued, whisper-yelling at me. She was at Mom and Dad’s for the day, and I’d told her to find someplace private when we got on the call. “In a friggin’ Bronco in the damn forest, for God’s sake.”
I bit my lip against my smile, both loving and hating the giddy feeling inflating my belly like a hot air balloon. I loved it because it was fun and exciting, but I hated it because I knew as soon as it took over, anxiety would sweep in to knock me out of breath.
“You’re ignoring the pressing question, dear sister, which is…” I glanced at Paige, making my way through the sliding glass door and onto the back porch before I continued. “What the hell do I do now?”
“What do you mean?” Gabby asked. “You bang him again — preferably in a bed this time, but hey, no judgment if exhibitionism is your thing.”
I wished she was in the vicinity to smack her.
“Gab, be real. Do you not see every single thing wrong with this scenario? Because they’re like flashing neon lights to me.”
“So what, he’s your boss,” she said, as if that didn’t matter. “First of all, there aren’t any official rules that say you can’t date.”
“No,” I agreed. “But it’s very much implied. And could you imagine? I’m the first female to ever be on this staff, and rumor gets around that I’m sleeping with the head coach? And, on top of that, I’m already the villain in my divorce with Randy.”
I lowered my voice on that last part, as if someone would hear me and the gossip that Stratford was so well known for would begin before I had the chance to thwart it.
Gabby sighed. “Yeah… I guess you have a point. What if you kept it on the down low? I mean, do you think it’s serious?”
Her question made my stomach tie violently into a knot the size of a basketball. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I mean… I guess I’d probably be naïve to believe it is, wouldn’t I? I’m a single mom with the Police Chief as an ex-husband.” I scoffed. “Pretty sure no one is lining up to enter into a relationship with me.”
“First of all, Paige is not baggage. If anything, she adds to your hot factor because she’s adorable and sassy and fun,” Gabby said, and I could picture her holding up her stiletto-nailed fingers as she counted off. “And secondly, you are a catch. Your dumbass ex-husband is in your past, and he has no effect on who you are now.”
I sighed, flopping down into one of the lounge chairs that was usually in the sun. Today was an overcast day, though, as fall as it could feel, and I wrapped myself up in my long cardigan sweater against the cool morning air. “Maybe it’s me who’s scared,” I admitted. “Maybe the thought of opening myself up to a man again makes me shrink in terror.”
“That breaks my heart, sis.”
I shrugged, though she couldn’t see me. “It’s true.”
A long silence passed between us before Gabby spoke again. “Well, I hope that one day you open yourself up to the possibility of letting yourself be happy again. But, if this is really how you feel, then I say keep it casual. Have the conversation with Jordan and let him know where you’re at.”
“Casual…” I repeated, testing the word on my lips. “As in, a booty call, a hookup, a friend with benefits that no one knows about.”
“Exactly.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Why does that make me feel dirty?”
At that, Gabby barked out a laugh. “Welcome to the modern world of dating, where no one is happy and everyone pretends to be fine with no strings attached.”
My stomach soured, but I didn’t know what other option there was. Jordan couldn’t possibly want something serious with me, and even if he did, we couldn’t possibly be serious. We worked together, I had a kid, and my ex was a psycho.
Three strikes, as they say.
“You also don’t have to make any decisions right now,” Gabby added. “You know?”
“Yeah…” I agreed, but my chest tightened as if to say you better make some decisions before we have a panic attack, bitch.
Suddenly, Paige jumped up from the couch inside and ran to the front door, voice loud and boisterous as she greeted Jordan. He was smiling down at her, giving her a high five for something she was telling him.
In the other hand, he held a bouquet of flowers.
“Shit…”
“What?” Gabby asked.
“Jordan just got here. He’s working with Paige today.”
“Yeah… you told me that. But why the curse word?”
“He brought flowers.”
“Shit…”
We were both silent for a moment, and Jordan’s eyes found mine through the window. The way the sunlight shined through the thick clouds that day illuminated those blue eyes of his, and the brown around his iris looked almost gold.
He crooked a sideways smile, and I melted.
“Wish me luck,” I told her, and as soon as she did, I ended the call.
“… and I’ve been working on kicking. I really like it, actually. I always thought I wanted to be a quarterback, but you know, so many games come down to whether or not the kicker can make a field goal or an extra point, you know? And I was just thinking, man, I’d love to be that person who wins for my team.”
Paige was still rambling on as she and Jordan joined me in the backyard, Paige circling Jordan with a football in her hand, hair a wild mess.
“I think you’d make a great kicker,” he said, listening attentively.
“Really?”
He nodded. “We can work on more drills that will help you get strength and accuracy today. Sound good?”
“Yeah!”
He smiled, but then his gaze was on me, and the heat that came from it had me sweating instantly.
“Paige, why don’t you run inside and braid your hair,” I said with my eyes still on Jordan.
“Mom,” she complained.
I snapped my eyes to hers. “No whining, Paige Marie. If you’re going to be outside playing, you’ll want it out of your face, anyway.”
“But it takes forever to braid.”
“Jordan and I need to talk about some work stuff real quick, anyway. Now, go braid your hair and then you can keep watching Game Day until he comes to get you.”
Paige pouted, but did as I said, and Jordan’s smile climbed a little when we were alone.
Just being near him had my body reacting, like every nerve was waking and reaching for him instinctively. The memory of his lips on mine, of his hands on my hips, of his thighs — big and strong beneath me as I rode him… it all came back to me in a series of flashes, and I blushed so furiously I thought my face would ignite.
“I know you already have plenty of flowers in your garden,” he finally said, taking a few steps toward me and holding out the bouquet. “But… well, I was brought up to bring a woman flowers when you care about her, and for no reason at all. So…” He shrugged, grabbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “I hope you like daisies.”
I smiled, taking the bouquet when he offered it to me and inhaling the sweet scent. It was a beautiful gathering of Michaelmas daisies, all in rich purples and mauves, with little pops of yellow Goldenrod surrounding them.
“They’re beautiful,” I said.
Jordan smiled, reaching down to take the bouquet from me and setting it on the table. Then, he grabbed both of my hands, pulled me to stand, and without a single hesitation, pressed his lips to mine.
It was a soft and sweet kiss, his hands cradling me to him as he inhaled me like it was his first breath since he’d dropped me off back at the stadium after two o’clock this morning.
My breath was deep and long, too, and I melted into his touch, into that kiss, into the sweet feeling of having a man hold me and want me and bring me flowers.
But then my anxiety poked me hard in the ribs, and I pulled back quickly.
Checking inside to make sure Paige hadn’t seen us, I quickly put space between me and Jordan, blushing as I gestured for him to sit.
“Uh, we should talk.”
Jordan smirked, but sat in the chair that was a bit too small for his six-foot-whatever frame, anyway. He crossed one ankle over the opposite knee and folded his hands over his abdomen, kicking back in a relaxed fashion. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s talk.”
I frowned. “Do you have to do that?”
“Do what?”
“That,” I said, waving my hand at him as I took the seat opposite where he sat. “Look all effortlessly handsome and casually relaxed.”
He chuckled. “I am relaxed. I’m happy to see you,” he said easily. “Should I not be?”
I frowned again, a deep sigh leaving my chest as I leaned my elbows on the table. I stared at my hands as I spoke. “Look… last night was…” Amazing. Incredible. The best sex of my life. “Fun. But, I think we should talk about what we do from here.”
I chanced a glance at Jordan, who cocked a brow.
“So… we should just keep this between us, I think. I’m sure you agree. With our jobs and everything… well, it’s complicated. Plus, there’s Randy…” I didn’t elaborate there. “And I think we both know it’s nothing serious, and we can have fun without anyone knowing, right? So…” I swallowed, because the more I talked, the more Jordan’s smirk climbed. “Yeah. Casual.”
I waited, and Jordan tilted his head to the side, assessing me before he leaned over the table toward me. His hands reached for mine, and they covered mine completely, his thumbs smoothing the skin on my wrist as his eyes found mine.
“Sydney, while our first time together being in the back of my Bronco might not insinuate it, I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy,” he said, licking his lips as a soft sort of laugh came from his nose. “I don’t know how to do the whole casual hook-up thing.”
I sighed. “That makes two of us.”
His smile grew a little at that, but then he was serious, his hands squeezing where he held mine. “This isn’t a keep it on the down low, let’s just have sex and not tell anyone kind of thing for me. I like you, Sydney. And I told you this last night — I want to get to know you. I want to date you.” Jordan’s eyes were sincere when he tipped my chin up so I’d look at him again. “If you’re mine, you’re mine. And I’m going to make sure everyone knows it.”
My stupid heart shattered into a million butterflies, each one of them tickling my ribs as they fluttered about. But I herded them all back into their cage, brows bending together as I squeezed Jordan’s hands in return.
“As much as I want to say the same, I think we both know this is more complicated than that.”
“How so?”
“Well, for starters, I have a kid — a kid who just survived the divorce of her parents.” I shook my head. “I’m not ready to tell her about us, because I don’t think she’s ready to hear it. Especially because she’s grown so close to you in her own way, and I don’t want her to worry about that being broken.”
Jordan frowned, but nodded. “That’s fair.”
“And,” I continued. “You’re my boss. And before you even make the argument that neither of us signed a contract saying we wouldn’t date,” I said, holding up my finger to halt where he’d started to speak. “It doesn’t matter. The fact still remains that I’m your employee, and the first female on this staff, and if word got around that we were intimate, I would be judged for it, and you would not be.”
The more I talked, the more Jordan scowled — but it wasn’t in anger, rather in a deep, unsatisfying understanding.
“Plus, Randy…” I started, but shook my head, not wanting to dive into it. “Well, let’s just say I know he wouldn’t be okay with me having a boyfriend, and I don’t want to deal with that right now. Not when I’m just settling into being free of him.”
Jordan blew out a long breath, squeezing my hands. “I understand.”
He looked so hurt, so defeated, and it killed me.
I leaned into him, looking him in the eyes as I said, “I like you, too, Jordan. And I’d love to get to know you more, to see where this goes… but, I have to be realistic, and we have to go slow.”
“I don’t know how to not treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”
I smiled, heart swelling. “You can, just… can you also live with knowing I’m yours, but keeping it between us for now?”
His lips twitched into a smile when I said the words I’m yours, and I smiled in return.
“So, dating on the down low.”
I nodded. “As secret as if it were an affair.”
His mouth screwed to the side at that, but he considered, nodding after a moment. “Okay. But, I have one condition.”
“State your condition, Coach.”
Jordan chuckled. “You have to come to my brother’s wedding,” he said. “As my date.”
“Jordan…”
“It’s not until November twenty-sixth,” he said before I could argue. “That’s a full two months away. By that time, playoffs will be over and we’ll be in the offseason, so you won’t have to worry about the team for a while. That gives us two months to warm Paige up to the idea of us.”
“But Randy—”
“Randy is your ex-husband,” he reminded me in earnest. “He doesn’t get to hold power over you anymore.”
My heart squeezed — both in warmth and in warning — and I chewed my lip, considering his proposal.
“What do you say,” he asked after a moment, peeling his hands from mine before he extended one. “Do we have a deal?”
I fought against my growing smile, shaking my head. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m s
erious when it comes to making promises and keeping my word,” he amended for me. “I’ll agree to your half of the deal, if you agree to mine.”
My mouth pulled to one side, but I reached for his hand anyway, and he shook it firmly as if he’d just sold me a car.
“Fine, I’ll be your wedding date,” I said, but I quickly held up a finger at his victorious smile. “But, I still want to have a discussion before we tell Paige. Or anyone else, for that matter.”
“Tell me what?” Paige asked, bounding outside with her hair braided and football in hand.
“I told you to wait inside,” I warned her, standing with Jordan, already missing the warmth of where his hands had been in mine.
“It was a commercial break, and you guys were taking forever,” she said, dragging out the word.
“Well, let’s get you warmed up, Miss Impatient,” Jordan said, holding up his hands for the ball. “Hit me.”
Paige grinned, tossing him the ball before she ran out into the backyard, and just like that, they were in practice mode and she’d forgotten what she’d heard when she’d walked outside — that was the blessed attention span of a nine-year-old in all its glory.
I made my way back inside, cleaning up the dishes from breakfast as I watched Jordan run drills with my daughter under an overcast sky. Every now and then his eyes would find me, too, and he’d smile, and I’d smile, and my heart would race in an exhilarating stampede of excitement and fear.
Autumn was upon us, alright.
And I had a feeling the leaves wouldn’t be the only things falling in the upcoming months.
Jordan
Up until that point in my life, each month had fit into a category.
When I was younger, they were separated by school months and summer months.
When I graduated high school, things blurred a little, and I began to measure them by the seasons, noting the different weather each month could bring.
When I got the coaching job at Stratford High, and every year since, the months had simply been divided into three: football season, off season, and summer training.
Old Fashioned Page 14
