by Jenna Reed
Copyright © 2019 by Beck & Hallman LLC
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover Design by T.E. Black
Cover Image by Wander Aguiar
Editing by Ellie McLove at My Brother’s Editing
Contents
Blurb
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue One
Epilogue Two
Coming Soon!
Babies & Promise Preview
About the Author
Also by the Authors
Sinful Secrets
KISSING AND TELLING
Everyone knows the rules of friendship, right?
Rule #1: Don’t kiss your best friend.
Rule #2: Don’t have sex with your best friend.
Rule #3: Don’t pretend like it didn’t happen the next day.
Bailey Renshaw is my best friend.
Kind. Sweet as a peach, and so beautiful it should be a crime.
Since we were kids, I’ve wanted her, and one time when we were nothing more than teenagers, I kissed her. It was the first mistake I ever made in our friendship. Giving her my heart and hoping she felt the same were my second and third.
That night she broke me, ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. Anyone else would’ve hated her for it, but it only made me value her more, and realize that I would do anything I could to keep her in my life even if it was only as a friend and nothing more.
As a permanent resident of the friend zone, I promised myself that I would never cross that line again, no matter how badly I wanted to, and I wanted to, badly.
Every time she smiled at me, licked her pink lips, or flashed her doe eyes my way, I came a little closer to breaking the rules again… but I didn’t. I couldn’t do that to us. Until one night when we decided to break the rules together.
One earth-shattering night together and I knew nothing would ever be the same.
Friends or lovers? I don’t know what we are anymore. The rules no longer apply to us.
Now the only question is, can we fix what we had before it’s too late or is our friendship over for good?, and all because of one single kiss?
1
Bailey
The big twenty-one. I’m twenty-one-years old today and somehow, I held onto my virginity. No, somehow wasn’t really the word to use. I held onto the damn thing with an iron grip because of the person I wanted to give it to.
See, I have a secret. A secret that I have kept for a long time, since first grade, to be exact. A secret that if it ever comes out, could ruin my life. That secret has to do with Elijah.
My best friend, my crush… Elijah Westbrook. Polar opposites in every way. Like water and oil, by all social standards, we should have never mixed, but surprisingly we do. People could never understand how we became friends, let alone stayed friends for so many years. I like reading and writing. Drinking coffee and snuggling on the couch. The simple things.
He loves parties, drinking, sex… lots of sex, which left him with a reputation, one that has landed him as a bad boy in more than one woman’s book. He’s the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. Never staying the night and never dating.
Basically, I’m the eternal nerd, while he is the jock, the alpha. ‘Men want to be him, women want to be with him,’ kind of guy.
Still, I want him in my life and not because he is the good-looking guy that everybody else sees and wants. I want him for the things that people don’t see. I want him because he is sweet, and smart, and funny. And above all, I want him to be my friend. That’s why I never told him about my crush. Hell, I’ve wanted him to have my virginity since I learned what sex was. It was always going to be Elijah for me. I knew it back then and I know it now. That’s why I’m doing what I am tonight… I’m finally going to see if I can free myself from him. There are many things wrong with the situation we’re in, us being best friends is simply the icing on the crap-tastic cake.
Is there something wrong with me? I ask myself as I eye my reflection in the mirror. Big green eyes look back at me, a smoky eye painted over each of them. Erin, my other best friend, and the only other person in the world who knows my secret, has done my makeup and hair for tonight’s operation. An operation she calls: Twenty-one-year-old-virgin no more.
Tonight I’m going to turn into the seductive woman that is supposed to be hiding beneath my usual yoga pants and t-shirts.
“You look gorgeous, Bailey,” Erin purrs in my ear, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror. Erin is a natural beauty with red hair and big blue eyes. Where I have curves, she is skinny. I’m jealous of her body, and in turn, she always claims to be jealous of mine.
“This isn’t going to work,” I huff, putting the lip gloss on the marble vanity. “He only sees me as a friend. It’s been this way for years. I don’t think a little makeup, some curls, and a tight ass dress is going to change that.”
My confidence is already lacking. I know I’m pretty, but I’m not the kind of girl he sleeps with and that kind of worries me. Maybe I’m not his type. I almost laugh. Who am I kidding, anything with a vagina is his type.
Erin grabs me by the cheeks and turns me so I’m facing her. We’re both about the same height, but in the heels she’s wearing, she’s gained about three inches on me.
“It’s all part of the package. First we draw him in, get his attention, make him see you all over again. Then you tease him, flirt with him a little bit.”
“It’s like you don’t know me at all.” I roll my eyes. “I don’t flirt, Erin.”
“Well, you do tonight, so shut up and let me finish,” she states matter-of-factly, flashing me a grin. “You flirt, get some liquid courage, tease him a little, and then you kiss him. Give him a little taste. Tell him you want him.”
“That’s the secret?” I ask with a thick brow lifted.
Grinning, she says, “Of course that’s the secret. As soon as he knows you want him, he’ll cave. Thus far, you’ve never crossed the line. Tonight, you will. Tonight, he’ll see you want more than friendship. That stupid promise you made him make all those years ago won’t mean shit. He’s a man, he gets more pussy than a toilet seat, but he’s never had your pussy, and that’s all that matters.”
I blink slowly, digesting what she said. I don’t really believe her. Not completely. Elijah often went for the things that he knew he couldn’t have. Like any man, he loves a good challenge, but I don’t want to be a challenge. I simply want him. I don’t want to be a conquest. I want to drop my V-card and move on with my life. Maybe I’m stupid for wanting Elijah to be the man to take that one single thing... I don’t know. All I know is that I crave him. My fingers burned to touch his skin. My lips puckered to kiss his.
Every time I think about having sex with someon
e else, all I can think of is him. I had plenty of opportunities to lose my virginity, but I never went through with it and that’s all because for some stupid reason, I can’t imagine doing it with anybody besides him.
Releasing me, Erin smooths a hand over my chestnut brown hair and untangles a few of the curls that cling together on my shoulders. Things are about to get complicated, very complicated, and yet, I’ve never been more excited.
I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Elijah, but I’m tired of being hung up on him. I just need to lose my virginity to him so I can finally move on.
He doesn’t do relationships. I know this, as does every other woman in Chicago, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want him to be my first. I promised myself years ago that he would be the one to do it and for some stupid reason, I can’t let go of that thought.
At first it was just a childish choice, something I decided when I found out all my friends were having sex. But then something changed… our friendship changed. Elijah changed. He looked at me differently, he treated me differently and as we got older, I told myself if I was going to give myself to anyone. it was going to be to the one boy, now a man, that I had known my entire life.
And so the stupid promise to myself stuck. Which leads me to tonight. I tell myself that I’ll just do this and then I can get over being a virgin. Then I can find someone who actually wants a relationship, someone that might actually love me. Someone I can be happy with, get married to, and eventually start a family with.
I pretend that I don’t care that he’s a manwhore, that has a mean streak and is notorious for leaving women the morning after. It’s easier if I don’t think about it. Because in my eyes I’ll never just be the morning after girl, the walk of shame one. Unlike the girls he meets and takes home to screw, I know him. I know him unlike anyone else.
He’s my best friend, my protector, my partner and crime. He was there for me when I lost my mother, he was my first kiss, and now he will be the man to take my virginity.
If anyone is going to claim me, it’s going to be him. I know it, and I’m sure some part of him knows it too. My gaze moves down the tight little red number that Erin made me put on. It clings to me like a second skin, showing off my curves and a good bit of cleavage. Oh god. This is a bad idea. A very wicked, most likely going to work, bad idea.
“What about our friendship?” I blurt out as Erin finishes doing her own makeup. Nervous knots start to form deep in my gut. I’m going to need a drink before we even make it to the club at this rate.
Erin shrugs. “I guess we’ll see where tonight leads. Friends with benefits? Lovers?” She smacks her lips together. “It’s not like you guys could ever stop being friends. The man can’t even go a day without talking to you.”
She’s right, but sex changes things. I know that and I haven’t even done it yet. Emotions get involved, and then people get hurt. This is exactly the reason we need to keep feelings out of it and concentrate on the sex and nothing else. It shouldn’t be that hard, right? Holy hell, I was already second guessing myself. God, this was a bad idea. What if I liked sex with him? What if he proved to be everything I expected and more?
“Maybe I shouldn’t do this…” I tug at the hem of the dress. Suddenly the thing feels too short. I’m out of my element here and if I can see that, then he will too.
Erin turns away from the mirror and stares me straight in the eyes. Aside from Elijah, she’s one of the only other people that know me, really know me. Nothing but excitement and joy reflect back at me as I stare at her.
“Tonight, you’re making Mr. Westbrook realize what he’s been missing. You’re going to walk into that club, shake your ass, drink some drinks, and tease the fuck out of that bastard. Then you’re going to tell him to take you back to his place and fuck you. In the morning, you can figure out what happens next, but right now, you need to live for the moment. Don’t think about the consequences, Bailey. Think about the goal, about his cock entering you, about the toe-curling orgasm he’ll give you.”
I grin, and so does Erin. “You’re a bad influence,” I mumble, shaking my head before exiting the bathroom. Gathering up my wallet and cell phone, I slip into a pair of heels.
“And you’re not, and that’s why you need me,” Erin hollers after me. I exhale deeply, my lungs constrict and my heartbeat pounds in my ears.
You can do this, Bailey.
All I’ve got to do is push away the fact that he is a notorious player and my best friend. All I have to do is see him for the sweet-hearted guy who kissed my booboos as kids and beat the crap out of guys who got too touchy-feely at prom. All I have to do is pretend this is a one-night stand and not the biggest complication of my life.
My cell vibrates in my hand in the next second and I turn it over, Elijah’s name flashing across the screen. Fuck. It’s like he knows. My body hums, my insides tingle, and I nibble on my bottom lip as I swipe the screen and stare at his text.
The text read: Elijah: Happy Birthday Bailey! Can’t wait to see you tonight.
He has no idea. He’s more than going to see me tonight.
He’s going to feel me.
Inside and out.
By the time we get to Suits, a club that we often go to, it is packed. It’s a good thing that Elijah owns this place because if he didn’t, we would’ve been standing outside, waiting in line until the place closed. The bouncer waiting at the door gives us a once over before lifting the rope and ushering us inside. He knows us by name and face.
“Happy Birthday, Bailey.” His features which were typically masked melt away, a smile creeping onto his lips.
“Thank you, Simon.” I smile, batting my eyelashes at him. He seems taken aback by the action, but lets the mask he always wears slide back into place. I don’t dwell on the look he gives me. Simon has always been sweet to me, but I’m here for one person, one man.
Music blasts through the speakers, making it hard to hear anything, even my own thoughts, as we enter the club. Sweat, sex, and smoke coats the air, and tickles my nose as we push through the crowded dance floor. Erin flashes me a smile over her shoulder as she takes my hand in hers, giving it a tight squeeze. We often walk hand in hand when we go out, so we don’t lose each other.
She guides us toward the bar which is perfect because I’m going to need a lot, and I do mean a lot, of liquid courage. I swing my gaze around the bar, looking for Elijah, knowing he’s here somewhere. When I don’t spot him, a tinge of disappointment hits me. I turn my attention back toward the bar taking in the bartender. The man is handsome, and someone I haven’t seen working here before. He walks over to Erin and me, a smirk on his lips, a mischievous glint in his eyes as his eyes move up and down our bodies.
“And what can I get you two beautiful ladies?” His tone is playful, and I wonder if maybe someday he could be the kind of man I fall for.
“They’re with me, Vinny.” A deep voice steeped in lust and expensive whiskey meets my ears. I swing around, taking in the man I plan to give myself to tonight. Gorgeous isn’t even a word I would use to describe the way he looks. In fact, it would be an insult. The man looks like Channing Tatum and Gerard Butler had a baby.
I peer up at him, he’s tall, a little over six feet tall, and muscled, but more like an athlete than a bodybuilder. His pink, oh so full, oh so kissable lips pull into a grin as soon as his ocean blue eyes meet mine. The silky black tresses of his are a disheveled mess, that makes it look like he’s been running his hands through his hair all day. There’s a light dusting of stubble on his sharp jaw and high cheekbones.
Why does he have to be so gorgeous?
Tonight he’s wearing a designer suit that hugs his frame perfectly, showing off his shoulders and biceps. Much like my dress, his suit is tailored to his body and fits like a second skin.
“Bailey,” he greets me, my name rolling off his tongue in a way that shoots ripples of pleasure straight to my core. Before I can even respond, he’s wrapping his arms around me, pulling
me into his embrace.
Burying my face into his chest, I sniff his shirt. He smells like mint and cinnamon with a hint of leather. It’s a scent I’ve come to know well, and one that instinctively calms me.
You know him. You know him better than everyone else. I tell myself, clinging to him.
“Happy Birthday,” he whispers in my hair as I hold on to him a little too long. His hot breath fans against my ear and I shiver. I wonder if he’s noticed my touches linger more and more now, or if he sees my carnal need to kiss him. Is he really blind to my advances, or have my advances been nothing but mere flirtation?
When we finally break apart, I’m light-headed, drunk off his scent. Who needs liquor when you have him? “Wow, you look amazing,” he exclaims, pulling away just enough to look me over from head to toe. I don’t miss the way his tongue darts out over his bottom lip when he looks at me, or the way his eyes seem to widen as they roam over my cleavage and bare thighs.
“Doesn’t she?” Erin butts in with a wink. “She’s totally getting laid tonight.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” Elijah says, his gaze burning into my skin.
Oh, he has no idea.
“Let’s order drinks,” Erin squeals, ending the moment and calling for the bartender.
“Yes.” I smile. My ears strain to hear Erin as she orders us a couple cocktails.
“I reserved a VIP room for you.” Elijah leans into me, his stupidly good scent doing stupid things to my head. I tell myself he’s doing so because it’s so loud and I would never hear him otherwise, but secretly I’m hoping he’s feeling the same lustful need pulsing through my veins. “That will give us all some privacy. I know you hate going out, so I want you to be as comfortable as possible.”
