by Jenna Reed
Checking my calendar, I sigh in relief, realizing that I only have one more appointment before I can take a break. My morning’s been busy as hell, but at least my afternoon looks to be a little slower. My eyes slip over the appointments for the rest of the day.
Jake is coming by to discuss our next project any minute now and I’m glad it’s someone I know well. I can cut this short without having to worry about being rude and disrespectful while potentially ruining a business deal.
“Mr. Westbrook, your eleven o’clock is here,” Barbara’s voice comes through the speaker filling the room with her monotone voice.
“Thanks, Barbara, send him in,” I say while pushing the button on my phone. Taking out the project file, I start arranging everything on my desk for us to look at. When I have everything spread out in order of my favorites, I sink back in my chair, my hands resting on the back of my head while my eyes remain trained on the door. Patience isn’t really my strong suit, and it only takes me a couple seconds to get frustrated.
Where the fuck is he? Did he get lost?
Angrily I shove from my chair and stomp around the desk and toward my office door. A feminine giggle, one that I know all too well, meets my ear. Gripping the door handle, I push it down so harshly, that for a second, I think it might come off. When it doesn’t, I open the door and spot Jake standing directly in front of Bailey’s small desk.
The top on my emotions seems to fly off, the contents bubbling over like a boiling pan of water. He has his back to me and I don’t know if he doesn’t realize I’m standing here or if he is simply ignoring me, but either way, I’m livid. Livid enough to ruin a business deal with someone I consider a friend by punching the fucker in the face.
“Bailey, baby, why don’t you let me take you out to dinner this weekend?” he asks casually, but with a slight tease that makes my molars grind together. Why did he just call her baby? And what the fuck is going on? I’ve never wanted to stab someone in the eye so bad in my life.
“I’m actually really busy right now,” she says, and for some stupid reason, her answer angers me further. I know we agreed on not telling anyone about our agreement, but right now, all I want is for her to say she is seeing someone… me.
Because... ‘Really busy right now’ is telling him that as soon as she isn’t busy, she’ll be available. It’s telling him that there is a chance, and I most certainly don’t want there to be a chance. She’s mine, damnit. Always mine. No one can have her, not now, not ever.
The realization of my thoughts hit me like an anvil in one of those cartoons from back in the day. It’s overpowering and damn near takes me out at the knees. I won’t be able to let this end. I won’t be able to pretend like this never happen, and I won’t be able to let another guy have her.
I sag against the door frame, trying to gather my wits. I won’t let anyone have her, and especially not Jake, but how can I keep her? How long can I keep this up before she wants more? Somehow I get the strength to stand again.
I try to think about the feelings I’ll have to face this evening. Jealousy is a bitch, a cold-hearted one and I’m feeling it right now. Never before have I been jealous of another man, probably because I’m usually the one making other men jealous. Gathering my thoughts so they’re tightly secured in my mind and not painted on my features, I clear my throat.
Bailey’s eyes find me first, shame bleeding through her gaze. She looks at me like I just caught her doing something bad. She nervously shifts in her seat and uses her slender fingers to tuck some strands of hair behind her ear.
Jake turns around slowly, almost acting as if I’ve interrupted him when it is really him that’s wasting my time. I white knuckle the door handle waiting for the bastard to say something.
“Oh, hey man, I’ll be right in.”
“I’m kind of in a hurry and would appreciate it if we could move this along,” I say, barely holding on to my restraint. The image of me with my hands wrapped around his neck solidifying in my mind as he smirks and walks away from Bailey’s desk.
He looks a bit annoyed by me, but I couldn’t care any less about how he feels right now, he better be glad I have enough restraint not to use his face as a punching bag.
“I’ll talk to you when I’m done talking business,” he tells her as he walks by me and into my office.
The meeting goes excruciating slow and I remain beyond irritated throughout it. Once finished, I feel like I should get an award for not beating his head into my desk. I’ve never wanted something to end so fast in my life.
“Alright then, I’ll talk to you next week about the rest,” Jake announces and offers me his hand. I shake his hand on autopilot. All I can think about is him leaving my office and flirting up Bailey again. Ugly jealousy floods my mind, washing away all common sense.
“I’m seeing Bailey,” I blurt out without thinking. Jake looks at me like I’ve grown a second head, his mouth slightly hanging open and his eyes enlarged with shock.
“You? Are seeing someone? You and Bailey? Like in a relationship?” He stumbles over the words like he can’t believe them. I don’t blame him, neither can I.
“It’s complicated, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t ask her out again.”
Jake throws up his hands, showing me his palms. That’s right, fucker, she’s mine. “I had no idea. You have to know that I would never hit on her knowing that you guys were together. I’m sorry, it definitely won’t happen again.”
I clench my jaw having half the mind to tell him that it won’t, because if it does, my fist will be meeting your face. But I don’t. There isn’t any point now, he is right, and I’ve made it clear to him that she’s mine. If he’s smart, which he is, he won’t come sniffing around her again.
“It’s very new and we’re keeping it on the down-low. As you know, having a girlfriend was never my thing, but Bailey is worth it, more than worth it.”
“I hear you loud and clear. There’s no need to explain, man. I’ll talk to you soon.” I walk Jake out and watch as he leaves, only giving Bailey a quick nod as he passes her desk. I wait until the elevator door closes behind him before I walk over to Bailey’s desk. I stare down at her, my best friend, my wild temptress, the woman that holds the keys to my heart. There is only one place I want to be right now, and that’s at home, and in bed with her.
“Come on, let’s go home,” I tell her.
“What? Why? It’s only lunchtime.”
She doesn’t understand the thoughts, the wants, the desires pulsing inside me, but soon she will. Soon I’ll confess my biggest secret to her.
“I know, but I’m tired and we need to talk. I would much rather sleep in my own bed with you in my arms than on the leather couch in my office.”
Bailey’s gaze softens, but her eyes hold an anxiousness. “Is everything okay? I didn’t flirt with him if you’re wondering and I told him I wouldn’t go out with him,” she says defensively as if she thinks that I’m angry with her.
I’m not mad though, because she’s only sticking up for herself, showing me that she cares about me. She wants me to know she denied going on a date with him and there aren’t even words to describe how elated I am to hear that.
“I know. It’s not that. I’m hungry, tired and could use some time with you, is that okay?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” She stands and starts to gather her stuff up. Looping her purse over her shoulder, we walk to the elevator together. We ride down to the first floor where I find my assistant at her desk.
“Barbara, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the day, please,” I tell her as I head for the glass doors.
“Of course, Mr. Westbrook,” she replies, no questions asked, and I make a mental note to give her a raise.
We get into my car minutes later. The sound of the engine barely audible as I pull out of the parking lot. I clench my jaw and grip the steering wheel like it’s Jake’s throat. Damn him. If he hadn’t gone and asked her out, we wouldn’t be in this situation ri
ght now. Ha, yeah, we would, because one taste, one stroke deep inside her, was never going to be enough for me. I knew better when I took her that first night, but I told myself I could handle taking one nibble, one little morsel.
Her sweet scent tickles my nostrils, pulling me from my mundane thoughts. The silence inside the car is deafening. I know I have to tell her what I told Jake, but I’m worried. Is she going to freak out? Tell me she hates me? End us before we even have a chance to start? Before I can stop myself, my mouth is open and the words flicking off my tongue.
“I told Jake that we are together, and I do mean boyfriend and girlfriend.” I don’t even realize that I’m holding my breath until she finally answers and the air in my lungs bursts from my mouth.
“You did?” She sounds surprised, but not in a bad way. Her soft voice carries into my ears and there’s a tinge of joy mixed in too as if she is happy about my admission. Is this what she wants? I had always assumed she wanted a no-strings relationship, but from the way it sounds, she wants more, and I can’t blame her, because I do too.
“Yes, I didn’t like him hitting on you and yes, I know I’m a hypocrite. I’m sorry about talking to you about jealousy when I have no room to talk at all. I get it, so you don’t have to rub it in my face. But I’m not playing nice. I can’t stand to see you with anyone else, and if I’m not going to let you go, then I’m going to keep you.”
“But we had an agreement… you said you didn’t want to hurt me, that you couldn’t do a relationship.”
I did say all those things, but that was before. Before I realized someone as dumb as Jake could come along and rip her out from underneath me. She doesn’t belong with a douche like that, she belongs with me, her best friend, a man that knows her inside and out.
“Fuck what I said. I’m not going to hurt you. I’ll make it work, but I’ll be damned if I watch you be with someone else, and especially not someone like Jake.”
“What’s wrong with Jake?” I can hear the playfulness in her voice.
“Well, for starters, he’s not me.” I glance across the car at her. “And he’s not good enough for you. In my eyes, no one will ever be good enough.”
Pausing, I turn my attention back to the road.
“And you are? Good enough for me?” It’s a genuine question, not a statement.
“No, probably not. But I’ll try to be. I can’t promise you that I’ll ever change my mind on kids and marriage. But I can promise you that I will try. There isn’t a bone inside me that isn’t on board with giving you the best version of myself. I’m sure I’m going to fuck up along the way, but when I do, I’ll do whatever I can to make it right.”
Bailey grows quiet beside me, fuck, maybe I should’ve just kept my stupid mouth shut. Our arrangement wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was better than the alternative: losing her altogether. I’m seconds away from apologizing and telling her that I take back whatever I said when she finally starts to talk again.
“I want to be with you, in whatever way we can be together right now, but I can’t promise you that one day I won’t want more.”
“I know… and you have every right to want more and I won’t ever hold you back from attaining the things that you want.” I pause, wondering if this is what I’m doing right now. Am I holding her back? Am I so selfish that I rather keep her at arm’s length than seeing her happy with someone else? No, I’ll make her happy, no matter the cost.
Shaking that thought away, I continue. “You deserve to get everything out of life that you can. You above everyone else deserve to be happy and I swear I’ll do everything in my power to do that for you, in whatever ways I can.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as she unbuckles her seatbelt. Pressing up onto the center console, she leans over and presses a kiss to my cheek. Even this simple, innocent gesture has my heart pounding against my ribcage. When she pulls away and returns to her sitting position, refastening her seatbelt, my skin burns like she’s left a permanent imprint behind.
“And I’ll try to make you happy too,” she whispers, and I have this sudden urge to shake her, but instead I squeeze the steering wheel once more. Doesn’t she know she’s been doing that our entire lives. Sometimes I think she is the only person who can make me happy. When I’m with her, I’m me. Not Mr. Westbrook, not the man women lust after. I’m just Elijah, her best friend, the boy who used to throw worms in her hair, and hold her in my arms when the loss of her mother got to be too much.
We pull up to my apartment and all the tiredness I felt an hour ago vanishes with the thought of having her as mine. Instead of sleeping, I have so many other things I want to do.
“Let’s go and relax for the rest of the day. How about a bath for starters?”
Bailey snorts, and it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard. “As long as we don’t fall asleep in the tub and flood the place, I’m on board.”
“Oh, there won’t be any sleeping, Sunflower…” I smirk, shutting the car off.
After taking a long bath that ends with sex, we decide to make some dinner instead of eating out like we usually do. Neither one of us is great in the kitchen, Bailey having burnt her fair share of shit, and me never actually having enough time to cook meals.
Like a starved man, I can’t stop myself from devouring the image before me. She’s wearing one of my t-shirts, the hem coming to rest against her knees, making the thing look more like a dress than a shirt. Her still wet hair sticks to the fabric, and I swear she’s never looked more beautiful. She’s also never looked more fuckable. I don’t really understand the appeal of seeing a woman in man’s clothing, I just know that I love seeing her in mine.
We settle on a simple pasta and tomato sauce dish. The meal might not be five stars, but I don’t want to share my Sunflower with anyone else, at least not for the rest of today.
As we eat, Bailey slurps a noodle into her mouth. “I didn’t know you had it in you to cook.”
I cock a brow. “Do you really want to go there? You are notorious for burning shit.”
She stops mid-twirl, pasta noodles falling off her fork. “It’s not my fault that I get caught up in doing something and then forget about whatever is I’m cooking until the smell of smoke fills my house.”
“If you put those stupid romance novels down for more than five seconds…” I barely get the entire sentence past my lips before I feel a limp noodle clinging to my cheek. She didn’t just fling a spaghetti noodle at me, did she? Plucking it off my face, I toss it onto the counter, my eyes narrow in on her heart-shaped face, that looks like it’s barely containing her laughter.
“You really shouldn’t have done that.” I circle around the island, stalking toward her.
“You really shouldn’t have called my books stupid.” She pushes away from the island and throws another noodle at me. I grab a handful of spaghetti myself and toss it at her. She gasps in shock, like she can’t believe what I’ve done. I’m almost worried I’ve taken things a little too far, but then a giant smile appears on her pink lips, and we both break out into laughter.
She scrapes some of the noodles off her body and throws them right back at me. This time I’m quicker and I manage to step to the side just in time to watch the food hit the floor instead of me.
“Oh, you are getting it now,” I warn, grinning my ass off. With a high pitch scream, she starts to run toward the bedroom, but I’m faster, and stronger and using both to my advantage I wrap a hand around her wrist and pull her back in my direction. Her tiny body collides with mine, the impact seeming to make her laugh harder since her whole body is shaking now.
Twisting around, I pick her up and place her ass on the counter. Her eyes widen, most likely at the touch of the cold marble against her ass cheeks. Those pretty lips of hers part as if she’s going to say something, but no sound comes out, because my lips are already descending on hers. Our lips touch briefly, and it feels like fireworks are going off inside my stomach.
Everything in the worl
d fades away in that moment. There is just Bailey and me, kissing, holding onto each other as if we’re the last people on earth.
Moments ago, she was trying to get away from me, and now her tiny hands are clawing at my back like she is a wild animal afraid that someone will take her prey away. Her nails dig into the flesh. I’m sure she’ll leave scratches behind, but I don’t care. She can do to me whatever she wants, mark me, break me, touch me.
Anything she does, I will love, because I love her.
I love her.
Those three words run through my head, flashing red like a warning sign. I knew I loved her, that’s not the problem. I’ve loved her my whole life and I’ve even said it out loud before, but for some reason only right now do I realize the heaviness, the truthfulness of the words.
I don’t just love her, I love her. I love her in a way that is beyond friendship. I love her in a way that is heart crushing, it’s madness, it’s downright terrifying, but it’s also pure, and gentle. There is no other form of love stronger in my mind. I love her in a way I never thought I could love a woman, at least until now.
“I love you,” I whisper against her soft lips, pulling away just enough to say the words before kissing her again. I don’t need her to say them back to me… I already know she loves me. I’m pretty sure I’ve known all my life. I was just too blind to see what I see now.
13
Bailey
I fidget with the hem of my dress, needing something to do with my hands. “Is this really a good idea? Your father hasn’t exactly shown any type of interest in me or our friendship.” I can’t help but get a bad feeling in my belly about going to this dinner.
Elijah smiles warmly, but it doesn’t do anything to soothe the tightening in my stomach.
“To be fair, my father doesn’t like anyone. He barely likes Asher and I and we’re his kids, so if that doesn’t say something, then I don’t know what does.” I get what it says, that their father couldn’t care less about having me at dinner, that’s what it says.
