“Baby,” Beau says so quietly I almost miss it.
Baby. That word cuts more than he knows. It cuts through the walls and the pain, and the tears. That single word makes me want to forgive him. To let myself find comfort in his arms again.
Beau eyes look up at me, pleading. There’s so much pain and sorrow in them but I don’t care. He needs to suffer like I have. He needs to understand what it’s like to hurt.
“No,” I tell him. “I’m not your baby anymore.”
I push past him, leaving the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. A wave a nausea comes over me. I pause in the shadow of the doorway for a beat.
I did it.
I can see Jess watching, waiting for me to come out while she talks to some guy in the kitchen. It takes about half a second for her to notice me. She takes a step, but I hold my hand up, signaling her to stay where she is.
Jess isn’t who I want; I want him. The guy she’s talking to. The one who’s going to make Beau jealous. I don’t know his name and frankly, I don’t care. I just want him.
I walk up to them and curl my fingers around the guy’s shirt. Crashing my lips into his, he opens his mouth, sliding his tongue against mine. My stomach churns, bile threatening to ruin the embrace, so I pull back before he can taste how my body rejects him.
“I’m Logan.”
“You want to get out of here?” I ask.
He looks at me, eyes wide, then wraps an arm around my waist.
I shouldn’t do this.
“Yes,” he says, escorting me out of the house.
Climbing in the passenger seat of his truck, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m making a mistake.
Chapter 39
Beau
Kneeling on the bathroom floor, I watch Mallory walk out of my life and it’s all my fault…again. My stomach contracts so violently I barely have time to lift the toilet seat. Remnants of a burrito and most of the Jack I drank splatters the porcelain walls. I heave again then once more until my stomach is empty.
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand then get up. At the sink, I turn the cold water on, rinsing my mouth out and washing my hands. Glancing in the mirror, I look like death’s knocking at my door. The bags under my eyes are as dark as night and my skin’s a ghostly white compared to the sun-kissed tan it’s always been.
I have to make things right.
I take a deep breath and follow Mallory out into the house, prepared to chase after her, but she walks straight into some guy’s arms. A different guy than the one she was just laughing with.
Mallory rushes him, kisses him. Those lips, my lips, press against his. I didn’t know it was possible for my heart to break more than it already has but watching the way Mallory makes him hers breaks me.
They leave together, his arm around her waist. The guy looks over his shoulder and smiles at me. He has a shit-eating grin, like ‘oh yeah, buddy, I got your girl’. I clench my teeth and saunter over to Jess.
“Who the hell is that guy?” I ask a little too loudly, my finger pointing at the door.
Jess’s eyebrows draw together. “Oh, now you care? What happened to the last two months?”
She has that high-pitched ‘I’m so mad at you’ tone. “Where were you back then? Why didn’t you care then?” Jess throws her empty beer can at me.
“I don’t know, Jess. I screwed up and I can’t take it back.”
Jess crosses her arms. “Do you have any idea how many nights she called me crying about you?”
I shake my head, too ashamed to look at her.
“You’re an asshole. You know that?” Jess says.
I nod.
“But you better go get her because that Logan dude is a jerk and I don’t want to see Mallory get hurt again.”
I look up at Jess. She nods, eyes wide and tilts her head at the door.
Jess is right. This is my chance to redeem myself. I run out the door, chasing after Mallory. My hands flail above my head like a madman, but Logan drives away. I watch the tail lights disappear down the street and turn out of sight.
***
I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see Mallory with that Logan guy and it makes me sick. I toss and turn on the couch, hoping she’ll call and praying she doesn’t at the same time.
And then, it happens. My phone rings and the sweet sound of Zac Brown Band’s “Whatever It Is” begins to play. I try to swallow but my throat’s too dry.
“Baby?” I manage to choke out.
She doesn’t answer. There’s nothing but silence. Mallory sniffles and my heart races to life.
“Don’t move. I’m coming.”
Chapter 40
Mallory
I hear the purr of his diesel engine before I see the truck. A part of me is glad when it pulls up. I want to be with Beau more than I can describe. He’s my safety net, he feels like home, but another part of me wants him to leave me alone. Calling Beau to save me was a mistake. I sigh. I seem to be making a lot of those tonight.
Beau parks his truck and runs around the front. I watch his brows draw together, searching the tall grass for where I’m hiding. It takes less than a minute for his eyes to find me.
Beau lets out an exaggerated sigh and runs over to where I’m siting. He puts his jacket around my shoulders and helps me to my feet. I can stand on my own but the smell of him surrounds me, making my knees go weak.
“How did you find me?” I ask, my voice hoarse from crying.
Beau rubs the back of his neck and shrugs. “I put your number in the Where’s My iPhone app.”
I force a laugh. “Stalker much?”
Beau laughs too. It’s a nervous laugh, but it helps ease the tension in the air. Beau holds his hand out for me and without hesitation I take it, letting him pull me into his arms. Arms that wrap around me and hold me like his life depends on it. I stay in his embrace, letting the butterflies from his touch sweep me off me feet.
All too quickly, Beau pulls away. His hand goes to my lower back, guiding me in the darkness to his truck. Once I’m inside, he closes the door, then walks around to the driver’s side.
Beau gets in but hesitates a beat to study me. It’s in that moment the strap of my shirt slips off my shoulder, revealing the tear I had hoped to keep hidden. His eyes find it immediately.
“What did he do to you?” Beau growls.
I shrug and look down at my shaking hands. Beau must notice them trembling because he puts his hand on mine. It’s warm. The touch of his skin sends a vibration to my core.
“Mallory,” Beau pleads.
I stare at my hands.
“Look at me please.”
Biting my lip, I look up at the roof, hoping gravity will keep my tears from falling.
“What happened?”
I let out a sigh and bring my eyes to meet his. “I was so mad at you.”
Beau’s reaches up and his thumb wipes away the cool moisture running down my cheek. Stupid tears.
“I wanted you to feel the pain that I’ve felt.” I shake my head, hardly believing the words coming out my mouth.
Beau’s bottom lip quivers, but he holds my gaze, and my hand.
“I guess Logan,” I continue, “thought he was going to get lucky. I don’t blame him. I was the one who asked to get out of there, but I couldn’t do it. He kissed me…”
Beaus face flushes red, his cheeks pulsating over his clenched jaw. I’ve seen that face a time or two before. He’s mad, maybe even jealous.
I pull my hands away, bring my knees to my chest and hug them into my body. Beau’s face softens and he leans over. He presses his lips against my temple and a feeling of calmness washes over me. I smile into my knees because Beau always knew how to calm my nerves.
Thinking about Logan and how wrong tonight was, my smile fades away. “Everything with him felt wrong.” I shrug. “He wasn’t you.”
Beau nods, seeming to understand what I mean.
“Logan’s hands started groping at my chest. I
t made my skin crawl, he made my skin crawl. I pushed his hand away but then he tried to go down my pants. I pushed him off again.” I shake my head. “Logan didn’t like that. He screamed at me, pissed we weren’t going to fool around.”
Beau’s head hung low. “What did he do?”
“Nothing.” It’s a lie but only a small one. Beau doesn’t need to know how I fought with Logan until he pulled me out of the truck and left me. I dig my nails into my palm.
“I got out of Logan’s truck and he left. And here I am now, sitting in your truck like a pathetic loser.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you.”
Chapter 41
Beau
I’m going to kill Logan. What gives him the right to think he can treat my girl that way?
Crap.
I called Mallory my girl. I guess she isn’t mine anymore, but still. Everyone knows she’s mine. I lift the center console and scoot closer, wrapping her body in my arms. It feels so good to have Mallory there again. I never want her to leave.
“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t been such a dick this would have never happened. He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No,” she whispers.
Mallory’s muscles tense. I know she’s lying but I don’t want to push her. If I push her, she’ll pull away, and I can’t lose her again.
“Just my pride,” Mallory adds.
“Where do you want me to take you?”
Mallory stays quiet for a long time. Seconds feel like hours. Finally, she says, “I just want to go home.”
The sting of regret nips at my insides. I’ve played the day we would meet again in my head countless times and this isn’t how our reunion was supposed to go. I want to make things right. I need her to understand that I know she’ll never forgive me, but she needs to know I love her.
I instead say, “Okay.”
Putting the truck in drive, I head toward the airport.
“Where are we going?” Mallory asks, looking around.
“I’m taking you to the airport so you can go home. Kevin and I will take back your rental car in the morning.”
Mallory shakes her head. “No. I don’t want to go to my home. I want to go back to your home.”
Her words take me by surprise. Without thinking about it, I say, “It’s your home too, baby. From the day you walked into my life it was never just mine anymore.”
Chapter 42
Mallory
It’s strange being back at Beau’s apartment. Everything’s the same and yet different all at once.
The place is a disaster. Empty pizza boxes are piled high on the table, beer cans are overflowing out of the trash can, and there are more liquor bottles than I can count laying around. Letting out a sigh, I grab a trash bag from under the sink.
Beau raises an eyebrow at me. “What are you doing?”
“You can’t live like this. Hell, I can’t stay here with it like this.”
An hour later we have his place looking halfway decent again. I sit on the couch, expecting Beau to join me, but he flops down in the armchair across the room.
He looks sad.
It’s not Beau’s lack of smile but his eyes. They look hollow and empty. Beau’s shoulders slump forward as he flips through the channels. I can’t help but wonder how many nights he spent doing this after I left. I move to stand next to his chair.
Beau’s big brown eyes look up at me. “What are you doing?”
With a smile, I crawl in Beau’s lap and rest my cheek against his chest. His arms wrap around me, bundling the fabric of my shirt in his fists.
Tilting my head up, our lips brush against each other. The touch is featherlight, but it sets me on fire. I need more. Pressing my lips against his, I finally satisfy the craving I’ve had for two months. I shift so I’m sitting across his lap. My hands thread through his hair. I kiss him with unrelenting passion, giving him the pieces of my broken heart all over again.
Beau rears back, his eyes hooded and filled with equal parts lust and sorrow. “I’ve missed you.” The corners of his lips curl down the instant the words are out.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sitting back so I can see him better.
“I’m selfish.”
I giggle. “That’s for damn sure.”
“I don’t want this if I can’t have you. All of you.”
I groan, my gaze falling to my lap.
“I want to be us again.”
I bite my lip. I want that too, probably more than he does. Sitting up, I look Beau square in the eye, his sad, hopeful eyes.
“You hurt me. You pushed me away when I needed you the most.” I pause. Beau’s not the only one to blame for that night but he is to blame for everything that happened after. Still, I’ve waited weeks for the chance to fix us. “I can’t promise we’ll work out, but we can try.”
“Yeah?”
I nod and stand. This time I hold my hand out for him. “It’s been eight weeks. The memories of our last days together set the bar high. Think you can meet them.”
Beau stands and there’s a glimmer of playfulness in his eyes. He sweeps me into his arms and says, “Baby, I’m gonna exceed them.”
Chapter 43
Mallory
Sprocket Pond is not my first choice of places to be after the events of last night. My stomach’s been churning since Beau said we were coming.
What if Jess is mad I left her party? Or if I run in to Logan again? Or someone Beau’s been hooking up with? What will everybody think about us coming together?
Stop! You’re gonna drive yourself crazy.
I shouldn’t care about any of it, but this a small town and people talk. Beau parks behind Rob’s Chevy. Kevin sits on top of Rob’s toolbox, playing DJ from his phone like the last time we came here. Deja-vu washes over me and I hope history’s not going to repeat itself.
Jess squeals when I walk up beside Beau. “Yay!” She turns to Beau and punches him in the arm. “It’s about time you fixed things. I’ve missed me some Mallory.” Jess’s arms wrap around my waist, enveloping me in a hug.
Kevin jumps down from the tailgate. He pushes Jess out the way and embraces me in a hug almost as intense as Jess’s. “We missed you around here, kiddo.” He pulls back, a goofy grin on his face. “Here,” he reaches into his pocket. “have a beer.”
Jess rolls her eyes. “Stop trying to steal Mallory away, Casanova. Beau just got her back.” She takes my hand and pulls me away from the group. “Come on. Let’s dance.”
We dance by the fire for a few songs, our hips swaying while the boys watch us. Beau comes up with shot of vodka for me in one hand and a beer in the other. I take the shot fast but nurse the beer and he walks away, leaving me to dance with Jess again. I feel good, more than good. That is until I catch sight of Beau.
When did he get over there?
He’s leaning against an older blue truck about five car-lengths down, but there’s a lanky brunette beside him. The girl stares up at Beau, hanging on his every word. I know the look in her eyes. It’s the same look I have when I look at Beau—longing, desire, and worst of all lust. Her hands snake up Beau’s neck, rubbing his muscles. Bile creeps up my throat, and I clench my teeth. Jealousy’s a bitch.
Kevin comes up beside me and grasps onto my elbow. “You okay?”
I nod. “I’m fine. I think I’m just sobering up.”
“I can fix that,” Kevin says with a smile. He takes my hand and pulls me over to Rob’s cooler then hands me a beer.
“Thanks.” I guzzle it down and reach for another. After finishing three beers in about ten minutes, Kevin cuts me off. It’s probably a good idea.
Beau finally comes back and sits down in one of the folding chairs Jess and Rob have set up. That girl follows him and sits herself in his lap. He must have hooked up with her, there’s no other explanation.
My stomach churns, warning me I might puke. Not from the alcohol, but from my nerves. I walk around the front of Rob’s truck and over to Beau’s, but
it’s locked. Pulling down the tailgate, I crawl in the bed and lie down. Gazing up at the stars, I’d forgotten how bright they are in the clear Georgia sky.
“You good?” an unfamiliar voice asks. I sit up. A blond man in a black Slipknot baseball cap rests his arms on the side of the bed. He has a pleasant smile—warm and welcoming.
“Yeah. I just needed to get away from some shit.”
His brow wrinkles and his lips form a tight line, pushing that black lip ring he's got a touch away from his skin. After a minute of awkwardly staring at me, he smiles again. “I’ve got something that’ll cheer you up. Come on.” He taps the side of the truck.
Hesitantly, I climb out and follow him to a big black truck a few rows over.
He opens his cooler and says, “Pick your poison.”
Chuckling at the familiarity of that line, I say, “I don’t care. Just give me something strong.”
He nods, opening his driver door. Reaching in, he pulls out a labelless bottle with clear liquid inside.
“Moonshine,” he says, grinning, as if he can read my mind. “There ain’t nothing in the world moonshine can’t fix.”
I laugh. “Is that right?”
“Yup. Constipated? Drink moonshine. Broken table? Drink moonshine, you won’t care anymore. Broken Heart? Moonshine’ll fix that too.”
He hands me the bottle. Twisting the cap off, I sniff the liquor before putting the bottle to my lips. The liquid is sweet and tastes a bit like cinnamon applesauce. It burns going down my throat, but it’s what I need to take the edge off.
“Thanks,” I say with a hiccup. We both laugh. “I’m Mallory.”
“I know. Your Beau’s girl.”
I take another sip and squint at him.
“I’m Sean,” he says. “Beau talked about you to anyone who would listen after you left. He said you were like a unicorn—rare, perfect, and beautiful. I had to meet you myself.”
I take another swallow. “Well,” my words have begun to slur, “I guess I’m not th-aat great. He’s giving that gurl all my attention.” I point over to them.
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