He hoped she was right. “There’s my family. Looks like they saved us some seats.”
The concert was more than just his niece’s choir singing. There were three other choirs along with an orchestra. They all performed several songs each, all of them adding to the rich experience. Some of the numbers were light and funny, some classic and complex. But the ones he enjoyed the most were the gentle and spiritual hymns that added so much meaning to the night.
Part way through, Ruth leaned her head on his shoulder. The floral scent of her shampoo rose up around him. It was intoxicating. He wished that the night could end with them cuddled up somewhere quiet and dark like this. But with no one else around of course. He knew the time wasn’t right for that, though. For now, he’d have to be content with whatever she was prepared to give him.
And truly, just being with her was amazing. Especially now that he felt he was getting to know who she was at her core.
She was so comfortable with his family, so ready to be around them even though Lori had done her best to make everything awkward and embarrassing. She was supportive, generous, and willing to change when she saw a flaw in herself.
As the strains of “Oh Holy Night” filled the auditorium, he decided to do all he could to keep her close.
Chapter Thirteen
The week passed quickly as orders and business began picking up. A long look at her spreadsheets had been depressing since they were way lower than what she’d gotten last Christmas. Still, with all the social media hype she and Mason were both garnering, most of the traffic that came to their corner of Main Street went into both stores. The number of times she saw customers with Mason’s distinctive chocolate boxes or little paper shopping bags in hand was reassuring.
After getting the basic cookies baked and iced for her regular inventory, Ruth got started painting her display cookie. Using a yellow food-coloring marker, she sketched out the figure of Santa Clause in a cozy chair eating a cookie. Beside him, she drew in a table and a cookie box that would eventually have Sugar Lip’s logo on it. It was going to take a fine-tipped paintbrush and a steady hand, but she was up for the challenge. In fact, she was excited about it.
Using food color gels like watercolor paint and diluting them with alcohol like clear vanilla to paint designs on cookies was one of her favorite decorating techniques. On this cookie, she planned to use deep, vivid colors and gold luster dust on a few details to make the cookie dynamic and elegant.
She worked off and on throughout the morning, helping with customers whenever things got busy, and pausing to paint for a moment when they calmed down. But always, always, half of her mind was caught up in thoughts of Mason. How could it not be?
When he looked at her the way he did, and reached for her hand anytime they were close, it created a buzz and flutter in her chest, making it feel like a net full of honey bees.
The question was, could she let herself fall for him? It felt like such a risk since she could imagine a hundred ways she could end up hurt.
But slowly and surely, she was beginning to trust that this was something worth taking a chance on. There was no doubt she missed him when he wasn’t right beside her or that she wanted to kiss him again.
In fact, after the Christmas concert Sunday night, she’d very nearly asked him to kiss her. She had only held herself back because she knew if she took that step forward, there would be no way back.
Maybe she’d already gone too far.
She looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was noon. The thought flashed through her mind that it would be fun to surprise Mason with lunch. He was making her dinner the next night, so it seemed really unfair that he would be feeding her three times before she’d fed him once. Decision made, she went through to tell Crystal.
“Hey, I’m going to go out for lunch. Think you can cover things for me for a while?”
Crystal nodded wryly. “Yeah. Even with things picking up, we’re never too busy for me to handle alone.”
Ruth frowned at the display cases where the trays were still mostly full. “Well, luckily I’ve got three big orders for Christmas cookies this week. Good thing my custom orders can help float the retail business, huh?”
“Yep. I didn’t mean to depress you. Go get something yummy to eat. And go share it with that yummy man next door.”
Laughing, Ruth headed to the back. “You make him sound like a hamburger.”
As she drove back after getting takeout from one of her favorite Chinese restaurants, she took a stream of deep breaths to relax. Even though her attention had strayed so heavily toward Mason, worry over her business had weighed on her and stressed her out. Sales were fluctuating too much for her to make sense of them—sky high one day if something on social media about her business caught peoples’ attention, almost dead if it had been a while.
With a plastic sack full of little take-out boxes, she parked her car and went in Mason’s back door instead of hers. Inside, she put the bag of food in his office because there didn’t seem to be anywhere to eat in his pristine and sanitized workspace, then went up front to find him. As she went through the swinging door, she saw Brianna leap forward into Mason’s arms. He grinned down at her as he hugged her back and swung her around in a circle.
Ruth stopped and watched with a sharp, sinking feeling in her gut. She let the door shut again and fled.
Before she got to the outside door, Mason called after her, “Ruth?”
She paused and took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she composed herself the best she could and turned around. Still, she found it impossible to meet his eyes.
“Why are you leaving without telling me you were here?”
“I, uh, saw you were busy. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Oh, yeah.” Mason shifted and crossed his arms as if he was uncomfortable. “I guess you saw our celebration just now, huh?”
Feeling strangely numb inside, she nodded. “What were you celebrating?” She found the strength to look him in the eyes then, searching for answers hidden in their dark blue depths.
“Ruth, I got the bid for the ball.”
The last of her strength crumbled to dust. She’d told herself that when this moment came that she would be happy for him. But she hadn’t known that it would come after seeing him hugging a woman who was everything she wasn’t. The picture of Brianna’s slim figure in his arms, being lifted and swung around—like he could do with a woman who weighed so little—still burned in her mind, branding her with self-loathing. And now she had to face the reality of losing her most important visibility platform to him. She needed time to process it all.
But she had to say something. “Congratulations. You’ll impress everyone there.”
“I’m sorry, Ruth. I wish there was some way for us to both get the job.”
She shook her head and looked down. He couldn’t see the tears gathering in her eyes. “I brought you some lunch. Sweet and sour chicken and Mongolian beef. And there’s enough for Brianna too.”
As she started to leave, he touched her shoulder. “You’re not going to stay and eat with me?”
She tried to smile, but it was a poor effort. “I don’t have time today, sorry. But, um…I hope you like your food. And good luck getting ready for the ball. I know it will be a lot of work.”
And then, like a cat running off to hide and lick its wounds, she hurried out, not stopping when he called her name. But he was fast, and got to the door at the same time she did. With his hand at her waist, he bent over her shoulder and said, “Wait, please. I can’t stand to see you hurting.”
“I need some time.” Her voice broke and she took in a shuddery breath. “Please.”
His hand ran up and down her side in a gesture of comfort. “Okay.”
As soon as he spoke, she fled. She burst into her kitchen seconds later, and when the door shut behind her, gave a gasp, then shuddered as the storm of her emotions finally broke.
“What’s wrong?” Crystal asked, running toward
her from the other end of the room. “Ruth, what happened?”
“Mason got the bid.” She couldn’t tell her the rest or she’d sound like an idiot. She was an idiot. But in that moment, she couldn’t help it and she didn’t care.
“Okay, but you’ve been expecting that.”
“I know. It’s just that… Crystal, I need to go home. Will you close things down for me?”
“Close early on a Saturday before Christmas? Are you sure?”
“I don’t care. Stay as long as you want, but I have to go. Okay?”
“I understand. I’ll take care of everything here. But call me if you need me. Promise?”
“Yes.” Ruth got her keys and coat, and left, running to her car so that there was no way she would chance seeing Mason again. But when she thought of the fact that she’d have to see him again soon, she burst out crying with another sob. He’d be there every day, right next door. And she loved him.
And she’d just messed everything up.
Chapter Fourteen
Mason wished he could go back in time and sucker-punch himself the moment he impulsively hugged Brianna when he’d found out he’d won the bid to cater dessert for the Candy Cane Ball. It had happened all too fast to think much about it, so when Brianna had jumped at him in excitement, he’d appreciated her shared enthusiasm. There had been nothing romantic in the embrace for either one of them since they were both in love with other people. In fact, Brianna was hoping to be engaged by Christmas. But it must have looked bad. And like the idiot he was, he hadn’t done a good job explaining the situation to Ruth or reassuring her but had jumped right into telling her the news about the bid.
She should have known that he wasn’t the kind of guy though. Moreover, hadn’t she just told him earlier in the week that she would be happy for him if he got the catering job?
Why couldn’t she just talk to him about everything so they could figure it out? He hated that she was barely responding to his texts and had excused herself from their date.
Now, he was sitting alone in a chair near the buffet table eating too much and trying to decide if he was more upset with himself or with her. The music his mom had playing wasn’t helping. When “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” ended and Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas” came on, he started to wonder if the playlist was a conspiracy.
Movement caught his eye and he looked up to see Lori coming toward him, carrying a chair. “What’s the matter, Mason? You’re glaring at those olives on your plate like they’re trying to kill you.”
Mason straightened and set the plate down on a nearby side table. “Nothing at all, sister dear.”
“Really? Then why isn’t Ruth here? You told me you were bringing her.”
“Something came up.”
“What’d you do?”
Mason groaned and got up. The noise in the living room from the kids playing, and adults trying to talk over them and the music was grating on his nerves almost as much as Lori was. The kitchen was quieter. Unfortunately, though, Lori had followed him.
He ignored her for a moment and reached into the cabinet next to the sink where his mom always kept a selection of pain relievers. After taking four Advil, he turned and submitted to the inevitable. Meeting Lori’s watchful eyes, he said, “I hugged my employee in front of Ruth.”
“The hot one?” Lori’s voice was pitched higher than usual with surprise.
“I don’t know. I guess she’s hot.”
“Why’d you do that?”
Mason spread his hands in a gesture of appeal. “I was just excited about something. And I didn’t know Ruth had come in.”
Lori frowned. “Blockhead.”
Stung by the truth of her statement, he said, “Hey, this is all your fault anyway. You’re the one who convinced me to submit a bid for the Candy Cane Ball. If I hadn’t gotten it, everything would be fine right now.”
“Ah.” From the tone of her voice, she understood all the pieces he’d left out. She absentmindedly picked up a gingerbread man and bit off its head. A moment later, she swallowed and pointed the cookie at him. “Why didn’t you guys submit a bid together? What’s better than chocolate or cookies?”
“What?”
“Chocolate and cookies.”
His eyes widened as the brilliance of her idea swept over him. “Why didn’t you suggest that a couple of weeks ago when it would have been helpful?”
“Maybe it’s not too late.”
Nodding, he said, “Maybe. It’s not like I’ll be making money on this gig anyway. It’s all about exposure. I’ll see if I can make it happen.” But just as he began to get hopeful, he realized that would only solve half of his problem—and that was only if he could make it happen. “How do I fix the hugging thing?”
Lori smirked. “Maybe she won’t care so much about who you hugged as long as you’re kissing her.”
Mason narrowed his eyes at her. “Yeah? And just how do I make that happen when she’s mad at me?”
Shrugging, she said, “I can’t figure out everything for you.”
Mason folded his arms across his chest and tried to find inspiration in the tile pattern on his mom’s kitchen floor. It wasn’t exactly helpful.
Giving up on that part of the problem, he pulled up the email he’d gotten from Sharon and asked if her she would consider including Ruth’s cookies as part of a package deal with his chocolates. He hoped she would respond soon because it was eating him alive to not be able to fix things with Ruth.
Anxious and unable to relax, he decided that his best course of action was to go home and get some sleep. Between his regular work at the shop, getting things ready for the catering job, and figuring out his personal life, the morning was going to take every bit of energy he could muster.
He said goodnight to everyone, pausing to kiss his mom on the cheek.
“You’re leaving already?”
“Yeah, sorry. I have to get up really early in the morning.”
She nodded and hugged him. “Okay. But you need to take a break soon. You work too hard. I can see the strain in your eyes.”
He wasn’t about to tell her what was really stressing him out. And Lori had better keep her big mouth shut about it. Not that he had much hope for that.
“I will. I’m going to be even busier for the next week but I’m closing the shop down on the twenty-third since the ball is that night and I’m not opening back up until after Christmas. I promise I’ll take it easy then.”
“Okay then. And you’re coming over here to spend Christmas Eve with us, right?”
“Who else would I spend it with?” But even as he reassured her, he thought of the only other person in the world he’d want to spend it with. “Good night, Mom.”
“Good night.”
As he drove home, he kept thinking about the combination of chocolate and cookies. He could think of dozens of mass-market combinations and even some gourmet examples. It was a match made in heaven. What would his chocolate and Ruth’s cookies be like together? He suspected that it would be phenomenally good—two very different desserts, each with their own qualities and strengths, complementing each other. A match made in heaven, right?
Back at his apartment, he plugged his phone in next to his bed and checked his email, just in case. When he saw that Sharon had already responded to his email, he opened it up and urgently scanned her response.
She was excited about the possibilities. As he read on about how she’d gone back and forth over which of them to pick, he felt a swelling of pride in how complementary Sharon was about Ruth’s cookies and how well they’d been received the last two years. She wanted to know specifics but was definitely interested.
“Perfect,” he said out loud. Then he stared at his screen and tried to decide whether he should call Ruth tonight or tell her in person tomorrow.
Deciding that she just might be excited enough to give him a hug made his mind up for him. Besides, he needed to get a more definite answer before he said anything. It would
be awful if he got her hopes up just to have them dashed again. That was absolutely definite. He might be frustrated with her reaction and the way she had shut him out but he didn’t want her to hurt anymore. He loved her too much.
Chapter Fifteen
Ruth went to work on Monday morning both hoping to see Mason and dreading the moment when she would. Because she knew she needed a little more time to process her thoughts and emotions, she went to work early so she’d already be inside when he arrived.
As she parked and got out of her car, she braced herself for the short walk to her back door in the frigid, windy morning. Low-drifting clouds of fog filled the street, so she ran all the way.
Inside, her kitchen was warm and welcoming. As she turned on the lights and ovens, the smell of sweet baked goods filled her senses and a feeling of coming home swept over her.
She wasn’t in the mood for cheerful Christmas music, so she turned on a playlist of classical music. Of course, it wasn’t too long before “Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy” came on and dragged her back into Christmas.
Which, since she was painting Santa Claus at that moment, wasn’t a bad thing, she supposed. Christmas wasn’t the problem after all.
With a sigh, she realized that she regretted canceling on Mason. He’d probably be done with her now after the way she’d acted and she wouldn’t blame him. It had just hurt so much to see someone so perfect and tiny in his arms while she stood there in her size sixteen jeans.
After some time alone, clarity had come swiftly and she’d known her jealousy had not been over the fact that Mason had hugged Brianna in a moment of excitement, but because Brianna was everything she wished she could be. No amount of telling herself that she was beautiful too or reminding herself of the times she’d known Mason was attracted to her made her feel better about that. But that wasn’t her biggest problem. Because of her body issues, she’d hurt Mason. And more than that, she’d broken her promise to him that she’d be happy for him if he won the bid.
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