by Hailey Smoke
“It’s not a dog. I wouldn’t pick out a dog without bringing you,” she explained. “But now I definitely want to get a dog.”
“Of course,” I said absently, too focused on memorizing the way she looked here in my arms. “Are you going to wait until Christmas?”
“No.” She hummed. “I can’t keep it from you for that long.”
“I’ll get excited.” I did feel a thrill run through me at the thought of what it could be. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hasty to knock the idea of a surprise.
“What do you want to do today?” She asked.
“Stay here. Fall back asleep.” I muttered, closing my eyes.
“I don’t think so.” she got out of my arms and up on her knees on the bed and began slightly shaking me.
“Fine,” I groaned and got up out of bed.
She joined me with a look of triumph on her face. “I want to go move all the way out of my apartment today. Do you want to join me?”
She had been talking about getting all the stuff she left behind for weeks now. It felt like as soon as we did that it would be real. This relationship still felt tenuous, even after anything. I had the irrational fear that once our initial contract was up, she would leave like I had planned all those months ago. I had worked through those issues, but it didn’t mean the feeling didn’t still flit around in my gut. But her moving in completely made me feel like then I could stop worrying about that. “Of course, I’ll help.”
“Thanks.” She got up on her toes and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I have to shower and get ready but then we can head over.”
“I have to shower too.” I reached over to run my hand over her shoulder. I feel her goosebumps under my touch.
“Are you suggesting we shower together Mr. Hirano?” She gives me a low look, the kind she uses late at night to get me to give her what she wants.
“Yes.” I kept running my hand down her arm until it took her hand.
I lead her to my personal bathroom. It’s the nicest in the house.
“Taylor!” She lets go of my hand to inspect the shower. “Why have I been using my own bathroom when I could be using whatever rainforest thing you have going on?”
My shower was specially made. It could simulate the fall of rain, as the water came from the ceiling, and I could adjust the pressure and temperature to exact measurements. “Any time you asked I would’ve let you use it. And you may from now on. You sleep in my room anyway.”
“I didn’t know this was an option,” she mused.
“Come on.” I turned on the shower and let the water fall at a steady pace, more like rain than shower pressure.
She quickly stripped down from her pajamas and I watched her, savoring the way she revealed her curves and every inch of her glowing brown skin. Every time I saw her body, I wanted to run my hands over it, to mark it with my teeth. I kept my eyes on her as I undressed too. As much as I liked looking at her, I could feel a swelling when I saw her eyes roving over me. I loved that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
“You’re already ready for me,” she teased as we got into the shower. She ghosted her fingers over my growing erection. They were featherlight touches but they sent waves of pleasure through me.
I wasn’t going to let her tease me without showing her how it felt. I leaned forward, water cresting down my back and drops flowing between her breasts. I kissed at the drops rolling over her sensitive peaks making a show of flicking my tongue near her nipples, but never quite touching them. Then I reached my hand forward and eased it between her legs. She parted her thighs for me and shuddered from head to toe as I dipped my hand in her slick folds. “And you’re so wet for me already.”
“Fuck Taylor.” she pressed her mouth to my shoulder, gently scraping her teeth against it. It wasn’t often I could get Lydia to moan out a curse.
I slowly eased two fingers into her. I began pumping my fingers in and out as she continued to mark my shoulder. She started moving her leg against my cock in rhythm with the thrust of my fingers. Water was flowing over my head and into my eyes so much so I couldn’t keep my eyes open. It overwhelmed my senses to be so focused on pleasure and nothing else. All I felt was the water, the steam floating up and around, and her. She overpowered the other two, she tended to overpower everything. She reached down and began to slowly pump my cock in her hand. I started to move faster so she did too. Her hands, hands that created masterpieces of fashion, were working so hard on my cock. I felt it swell deep inside before I was bursting, splattering my cum on both of us. Soon after, I felt her shudder over my fingers and crying out as her body tightened around me. I slowly removed my hand.
“Let me,” she said, taking my hand. She held my fingers delicately in front of her and then began sucking her juices off of them while looking at me. She pulled my fingers out of her mouth and licked her lips playfully. “All clean.” If I didn’t have to wait, I could’ve taken her right there. She turned me on with her every movement. “The water bill is going to be huge. I want to take a shower like that every time.”
I huffed out a laugh. We both wanted it, so the bill would be worth it. “Let’s get clean.”
The rest of the shower went by quickly, although she insisted on scrubbing my back and playing with the shampoo in my hair. Even as spent as we were, she couldn’t stop touching me. I loved every pull of her fingers through my wet hair.
We dried off and got dressed in warm clothes. Then we drove out to her little apartment and packed up every last thing. Apparently, Virgo was moving in full time so Michael wouldn’t have to worry about taking on the full rent or finding a new place. Lydia left the key on the table and hugged Michael for a full minute.
“It’s weird.” She said on the drive back. “I thought I was going to spend the next ten years in that apartment. I was sure that I’d still be there even after Virgo and Michael inevitably got married in Vegas. Although, I guess I was the one who had a wedding like that.”
“Do you want a wedding?” I asked.
“A wedding?”
“Yeah.” I had been thinking about it for a while. The reason I picked the courthouse was for the convenience as well as the fact I didn’t have anyone I wanted to invite. Now that this was real, finally real, I wanted to give her what she wanted, what she deserved.
“I think it would be nice to have more of our family there this time,” she said. She’d been dropping hints that I should invite my father to Christmas or at least call him. Mrs. Tupp had been less subtle. She said it might be healing to finally confront each of my parental figures, with the exception of my mother. She said I didn’t ever have to speak to my mother again, and no one should ever force me. I didn’t owe her anything.
I didn’t know if I wanted to talk to my father. I didn’t want to think about it yet. My grandfather was too complicated for me to sort out yet. I had been thinking more and more about seeing my mom, even though Mrs. Tupp said I didn’t have to. I just felt like there was still something tethering me to her. I didn’t think I’d ever be free of her if I didn’t do something to snap it.
“I think a wedding with actual vows would be nice,” she said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“It would.” I didn’t even remember what our vows were the first time. I wasn’t great with words. I had always been too short with people, too blunt. It scared them off and that was perfect when I wanted to be alone, to never be touched. I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt, even if it was hard.
“I also think,” she started talking in a voice like she was nervous about how I’d respond. “That we should have Virgo and Michael over before the party so you can get to know them better.”
Ah. She was worried I would freak out at having people I didn’t know well in our house and wanted to warm me up. How considerate. She might be right.
“I want you to be friends with them too.”
Friends. I never had any steady ones. The ones I had as a young child, I drew away from, afraid of them findi
ng out about what was happening at home, terrified that they’d want to come over, I thought they’d think I was a monster. I never recovered from that lack. By the time I had been going through therapy I had lost my confidence that I’d ever find people to trust. But Lydia trusted these two. And I already knew from my first meeting with Michael that they meant the world to her and her to them.
“You should invite them over,” I said before I could wind myself up and convince myself it would be a bad idea.
“Yeah?” I loved the way her face lit up.
“No cowboy hats.”
“I don’t know if I can guarantee that.”
***
“And that’s when Brad Pitt showed up.” Virgo was finishing up a story that sounded too crazy to be true, but Michael and Lydia seemed to act like that was normal and listened to the story like it was old news. “These are so good Taylor.” She transitioned immediately from the story to the nacho spread I put together as soon as I knew we were having guests. It wasn’t my finest creation, but it worked.
“Thanks.” I couldn’t look at her as she praised me. I knew I looked like some skittish cat, but I was trying to get comfortable without acting like a stone wall like I usually did to hide my anxiety.
“Do you guys want to watch a movie?” Lydia suggested. “Or, I found a pool table the other day.”
Virgo sprung up. “I’m so good at pool.” Of course, she was.
“Think you can beat her?” Michael looked at me, almost examining me. It made me nervous, but he wasn’t looking at me with suspicion like the first time. It was more like he was looking for something.
“I’m not bad,” I responded.
“A challenge it is.” Virgo’s eyes lit on fire. I was suddenly sure I wasn’t going to win.
“Your friends are interesting,” I said quietly to Lydia as we walked to my gaming room where I had a few pool tables. I played the game by myself occasionally, but they didn’t get much use otherwise.
She nudged my shoulder. “You sound almost fond.”
I was very quickly trounced by Virgo. She played pool like she’d be good at hustling in some smokey bar somewhere.
“Who’s next?” Virgo’s smile was shark-like.
“I’ve beaten you before.” Lydia took the pool stick from my hand, similarly, fired up.
I stood back with Michael as the two women went at it. Lydia was handling herself better than I had. I must have been rustier than I thought.
“Hey,” Michael said low enough that the two playing wouldn’t hear.
“Hello.” I remembered our last conversation but now I finally understood what he said. Lydia had a family of people who cared about her that she made herself even after the tragedy that took her first family from her. I never knew that kind of love and I never learned how to find it. I knew I was undeniably lucky that I stumbled into this love.
“I just wanted to say, sorry for vaguely threatening you all those months ago,” Michael said.
I didn’t hide my surprise well. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“No. I do.” Michael sighed. “Not exactly for that. I just thought you were an irredeemable asshole? And said so to Lydia.”
“Oh.” To hear it said so plainly, I was hit again with how cold I had been for years and years; hit by just how lonely I made myself.
“But you changed yourself. And I’m glad. Because I could tell Lydia liked you a little. Even back when you were still a jerk. I don’t know what you did, but you worked for it and are better for it.”
“Lydia helped.” I couldn’t take all of the praise.
“Yeah. She’s pretty good. But it takes a lot to change yourself.” Michael smiled at me, like he did at Lydia. I got the urge to cry, but held it in. It was strange for that to be my first instinct. “I’m just happy for you. For both of you.”
“I’m unbeatable!” Virgo cried as Lydia shook her head in clear defeat.
“Where did Virgo learn to play pool?” I asked.
Michael shrugged. “I don’t really want to know.”
Chapter 15: Lydia
“I’m going to go see my mother,” Taylor announced.
He sat me down on the bed and paced in front of me that morning. We were two weeks away from Christmas and I expected his uneasy air to have something to do with the party planning and having to break some bad news to me about the refreshments. I never would have thought it would be something like this.
“You want to see her,” I said, my voice was emotionless because I wasn’t sure what I was feeling.
“I don’t want to see her.” He sighed. “It’s more complicated.”
“Help me understand.” I truly couldn’t imagine wanting to see that horrid woman after everything she did to him. But it didn’t happen to me. I couldn’t possibly feel what he was feeling. I hoped he could help me understand, so I could be there for him.
“I’m not going to forgive her or make up or anything like that,” he explained. “I never stood up to her. And I want to. I couldn’t even do it when she and my father visited. I just froze.”
“You weren’t prepared for them, nobody would fault you for that,” I said, hoping he still didn’t blame himself.
“I will be ready this time. I’m deciding to go.” I could tell he’d given this a lot of thought.
“I understand,” I said tapping his wrist before wrapping my arms around him.
“I’m telling you because I want you to be there.”
I thought he might.
“I won’t force you. I’ll go either way. But I know I’ll be stronger with you there.”
I buried my head in his chest. “I’ll go. No question. I won’t say anything to her, but I won’t let her touch you.”
He let out a shaky breath. How long had he been holding it? “I love you Lydia.”
Now I was the one who couldn’t breathe. “I love you too.” How long had I waited to hear that from him? I knew he felt that way. He showed me with his actions and with his body. To hear it was something else. It was proof he was working to be my partner, that he wanted me to stay.
He pressed a kiss in my hair. “I don’t want to go yet. I was going to wait a few days to prepare myself.”
“You might second guess yourself,” I warned.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he said softly. He tightened his grip around me and then let go.
“I have to go to work today,” he said.
“But it’s a Sunday.”
“The transition of the company from my grandfather to me is going smoothly, but it means I have to do a little extra.”
“Well that’s fine Mr. CEO, I’ll be going out with Virgo today. I’m helping her pick out paint for her new apartment.”
“I’ll see you later then.” His voice went low and his eyes roved over me. It was a promise of a thrilling night to follow.
I leaned forward and kissed him, biting softly at his bottom lip. The kiss was over too soon and then he left for work.
***
“You seem bummed.” Virgo wasn’t the kind of person who took long to get to her point.
I almost dropped all the paint sample cards I’d been collecting for her. “Do I?”
“Yeah. You keep scrunching the cards.” She pointed down at my hands.
“Oh.” I realized she was right: all the cards had curled up edges.
“What’s the problem Lyds?” Her perfect eyebrows furrowed.
“I can’t really tell you.” I wasn’t going to break Taylor’s trust in me with his secrets. If I told anyone without his permission, he wouldn’t forgive me, and I wouldn’t forgive myself either.
“You can be vague with me,” she said and winked. “Just general stuff.”
I took a deep breath and got my thoughts in order. “Taylor wants to do something that I’m worried will be bad for him, but I also think it could be good for him.” That was the best I could do. “Does that even make sense?”
She hummed a little. “It does, sort of.
But since I can’t know more, I don’t have any advice, sorry.”
“It’s fine, I don’t know if anyone can really prepare me for situations like this.” I shook my head. “I’m probably overreacting too. I’ve been stressed out lately and I still haven’t had my period.”
“Lydia.” Virgo’s eyes went wide.
“What?”
“How late is it?” She asked.
“Two weeks, but I know what you’re thinking. I’m not pregnant. I’ve been consistently taking my birth control. I haven’t missed a day in the last year. I think it’s just nerves because of fashion week and Taylor.” The idea had crossed my mind on the first day my period was late, but the chance was so low I was convinced this had to be something else.
“Birth control isn’t a one hundred percent thing.” She shoved all of her paint cards in her bag. “Let’s get a test to make sure.”
I hadn’t bought a test yet. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t gotten one to at least check. Maybe I was more worried about it than I thought.
Virgo steered me from the hardware store to a pharmacy a few blocks away. I was getting more and more nervous as we checked out. I had to stop myself from pulling my hair out on more than one occasion.
We got back to my old apartment. I was thankful Michael was out at the office, the less people here for it the better.
It was awkward, I’d never used one before, but I figured it out and called Virgo into the bathroom to wait for the results. I set the stick on the counter and turned away from it. “You tell me,” I said closing my eyes. “I don’t think I can do it.”
The silence stretched and no matter how much I wanted to turn around and look my nerves stopped me.
“Lydia…” Virgo’s voice trailed off and my heart stopped. “Lydia, you’re pregnant.”
I turned around furiously and opened my eyes to see Virgo holding the stick, the two lines staring back at me. “Oh, my God?”
“How are you feeling sweetie?” Virgo said carefully, rubbing my back in a way that would normally feel good, but now I couldn’t really feel anything.
