by steve higgs
‘Well just in case I’m coming over to give you a hand.’ I said as I swung off the cars and landed neatly on the ground. Two paces across the path between the line of cars and I was underneath Big Ben. I was redundant though as Big Ben swung his legs over the edge of the car he was on and dropped to the ground just as I had.
As he stood back up he was holding his right arm with his left and looking at his hand. ‘I have a cut on my hand.’ Big Ben said turning his hand over to show me. ‘I must have snagged it on something when I climbed the cars.’
‘I did the same. Plenty of sharp items in the dark, I guess. Shall we find the dog?’ I was about to set off to see where dogasaurus had got to when it came back around the corner ahead of us.
‘Oh bollocks.’ hissed Big Ben and half a breath later we were both running once more.
We rounded a corner and found ourselves in a dead end. Ahead of us were cars piled high on our left and right... and also right in front of us because we had run into a dead end. I was concerned about the dead bit of that phrase. My pulse hammered out a quick warning, but the problem also presented an opportunity. Beside me Big Ben slowed slightly as he too saw that we had nowhere to go. I grabbed his elbow and pointed to the way out.
The dog was gaining on us, the steak seemed to have had no effect thus far except to numb Big Ben’s hand. We got to the end of the corridor of cars and had nowhere left to run, we had seconds before the dog would be upon us. So, we did what the dog could not do, we opened the doors of the Volvo estate in front of us and then closed them again. The dog slammed into the car as we slid out the other side. I was tempted to stroll away with as much nonchalance as I could muster but prudence dictated we continue running. We turned another corner and could see the fence that marked the edge of the yard. I got there first, hit the fence to slow myself and ducked down behind the mangled wreck of an old Ford Mondeo
Big Ben slammed himself into the fence next to me and crouched down to minimise his visibility.
‘Do you think we lost it?’ I asked.
‘Doubtful.’ he answered. ‘I don’t think hiding works all that well with dogs.’ I had to concede the point.
‘Any idea what kind of dog it is? You got a better look at it than me.’
‘Some kind of cross between an Anatolian Karabash and a stegosaurus I think. Whatever it is, it is mean and nasty and generally unhappy to see us.’ he replied.
‘Did you see it eat the steak? One bite and swallow - just like that. The thing must have a throat my leg would go down without touching the sides.’
‘I know a few girls like that.’ A typical Big Ben response.
‘I thought you said the steak would knock it out.’
‘Tempest, there was enough Propofol on that steak to drop a cow.’ Big Ben and I had gone through the dosage instructions the lady vet had left and had then put it all on anyway.
‘I suppose we did put more on than she suggested. Unless she messed up the instructions the dog might actually be something other than a dog.’ I speculated.
‘You mean it might actually be a spectral dog? That is what we were sent here to find.’ Big Ben asked being flippant.
‘I meant more that it might actually be part stegosaurus, but let’s just give it a minute and see whether it comes looking for us.’ A minute passed by and nothing of interest happened. ‘I’m going to take a peek.’ I said sidling to the edge of the car and peering around it. It was dark in the breaker’s yard and given the nature of the business it was sited well away from houses and streetlighting that may have provided some background light. Now that I was peering further and further around the car, I could see something lying on the ground close to the portable cabin that I assumed served as an office. Was it a dog? It was something and it was not moving but I could not see enough in the dim light to tell. I briefly considered getting the torch from my webb belt but knew it would kill my night sight instantly.
‘Anything?’ asked Big Ben from right by my ear.
I elected then to end the silliness of hiding behind cars and stood up. ‘I think that is a dog laying on the dirt in front of the cabin.’ I pointed so he could form an opinion also.
Standing up to join me Big Ben squinted his eyes in the dark and shrugged. ‘It could be. It could be a crumbled cardboard box just as easily.’
‘Let’s go find out then.’ With that I set off to investigate. Two seconds and six paces later both Big Ben and I could see that the shape on the ground was indeed a dog. It was laying with its back to where we had been hiding. Its paws were stretched out perpendicular to its body pointing away from us as we approached while its head was tucked down towards its chest. It did not move as we neared it thankfully, so I knelt to check it was alive.
Stood over the inert form of the giant, shaggy-haired dog I rubbed my hand over its fur and lifted it up to inspect it. The palm of my hand was now glowing. I gave my hand a sniff. ‘Luminous liquid.’ I stated. ‘The same stuff they put in glow sticks.’
‘Mydery tholved.’ replied Big Ben still holding his arm.
‘Mydery tholved? Are you okay?’
‘I veel a liddle odd. My dongue hath gone to thleep.’ he replied.
I stood up concerned and had a look at Big Ben’s eyes. They were difficult to see in the dark, so I grabbed his shoulder and swung him around, so the moon was on his face. He was dribbling slightly. A thought occurred to me ‘Did you lick the wound on your hand?’
‘Oh vuck!’ I accepted this as admission of guilt. His hand was bleeding from a cut which was probably where the anaesthetic had entered his blood stream to start with and now he had put the wound to his mouth and gotten more anaesthetic from his skin.
‘We had better wrap this up and get you out of here before you keel over. Perhaps you should sit down mate.’ I was not particularly concerned about him, the dose he had given himself could not be that strong. I was more worried about having to deal with the dog/dinosaur by myself. I swung my back pack off and onto the ground in front of me, zipped it open and fished out a large muzzle which Big Ben had also borrowed from the vet.
I shuffled a pace over on my knees and tried to slip it onto the dog’s snout. I was interrupted in my task by a crashing noise behind me. I did not need to turn around to know what it was. I finished forcing the muzzle onto dogasaurus, secured it with the buckle around the back of its head and felt marginally safer.
Then I swung myself around on the ground to face back to were Big Ben had been standing. He was, of course, no longer standing. He was flat out on his back and clearly no longer conscious. The anaesthetic was strong stuff. The problem now though was that Big Ben must weigh two hundred and fifty pounds or something around that mark. At six feet seven inches tall and all solid, honed muscle he was significantly bigger than I and as a dead weight was going to be hard to move. I had brought him along on this caper because I expected to have the carry the dog to the car and needed his help. I might be able to drag the dog to the car, but there was no chance I would be able to lift it up to the car’s flat bed.
I tussled briefly with the best way of tackling this and settled on going to get the car and bringing it to them. If I could not lift either of them perhaps the minor dose that Big Ben had inadvertently administered to himself would wear off soon enough. Otherwise I was going to have to wait it out.
Standing up, I patted my front right pocket to make the keys were still in there but something moving caught my attention. My heart skipped, and my breath caught as right in front of me, not more than ten feet away was a second giant dog. It was gently glowing like the first one and very much not drugged.
It grinned at me a big doggy grin. I watched as the muscles in its shoulders bunched, it was going to lunge. Why had I just assumed there was one dog? It had not occurred to me at any point that there might be a second dog. Or were there three or four?
How ever many there were, I was suddenly in big trouble. The animal control pole was off to my left, Big Ben was unconscious just to my
right and the dog could cover the ground in a few bounds. Caught in a hopeless situation the only sensible or logical option that gave me any hope of survival was to leave the dog to go for Big Ben while I grabbed the pole and gave myself the chance to get it under control.
The dog made its move, bursting into motion off its back feet. Logic went to hell as I threw myself over Big Ben to protect his inert form. He was too easy a target and had no way to defend himself. I had dived on top of him, protecting his head and neck with my own which left them now exposed. Thinking quickly, with maybe half a second before the enormous hound bit me I ran a quick inventory check to see what I could use against it. Would I be able to twist and stab it or beat it once it had its jaws on me? I had no idea, but I felt it arrive above me right then, so I was going to find out!
Steeling myself for the pain I needed to endure, I physically jumped when the dog licked my ear. Then it nudged my head with its giant nose. The damned thing wasn’t dangerous at all! It was breathing in my ear, big huffing breaths of an excited, playful dog.
I rolled over, taking myself off Big Ben and there was the dog, staring down at me just a few inches away. It wagged its tail and cocked its head to one side.
‘Hey doggy.’ I said in what I hoped was an engaging tone. ‘Would you like to play fetch?’ I patted my webb belt, found nothing of use so scouted around until I found a discarded plastic jerry can. The can was bigger than one of my own dogs but probably about right for dogasaurus here. I shook it a few times to make sure he was watching then threw it and watched as he bounded off into the dark.
The plan had been to catch the dog as a start point because I had erroneously assumed it was going to be dangerous rather than playful. Revealing the perfectly ordinary and not even slightly paranormal nature of the dog would have allowed Mrs Collins to return to work and I had planned to then follow the movements of Barry and Malcolm in the belief that they would lead me to the errant Mr Collins. Case solved, fee paid. Super.
That was still more or less the plan, but I had some time to kill now while I waited for Big Ben to come around. Together we could shift the unconscious dog to the truck, load the other, quite playful dog into the cab and head back to the RSPCA centre where I planned to drop them off until their owner came forward.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait too long but my wait was not ended by Big Ben coming around but by approaching headlights. The long winding lane that led to the yard gave me plenty of notice before the vehicle arrived. I used the time for hiding and setting up a camera. The approaching headlights had nothing else in this direction that they could have been coming to so upon spotting them I had run back to the car to collect a bag from the back seat and to pull the car around the corner where it could not be seen. I dragged Big Ben out of sight behind the cabin but left the unconscious dogasaurus where it lay. The camera had an infrared setting that would pick up everything despite the lack of light. I had bought it when I bought most of my gear back when I made the decision to go into private investigations. I had used it only a couple of times, but it was still a worthwhile investment. I climbed onto the roof of the cabin and positioned the camera at the leading edge so that it would record whomever was approaching. I stayed on the roof to remain hidden myself and because it gave me a good vantage point over most of the yard.
I settled down to wait. The approaching car turned its headlights off perhaps two hundred metres before it got to the yard. Were they trying to be stealthy? If so, then why?
I flattened myself to the roof and hoped that Big Ben would not pick the next couple of minutes as his time to regain consciousness. Flattening myself to the roof was almost certainly unnecessary, it was rare for people to look up, or to look for danger, or even to really take in their surroundings. All I needed to do to stay invisible was not move.
Two car doors thunked shut one after the other. A few moments later I was rewarded with the sight of Malcolm approaching. He was carrying a large torch which kicked out some powerful light. He was swinging it about, aiming it here and there. The second figure I had not met before, but I knew who it was because Mrs Collins had shown me a photograph. That Mr Collins was here now solved the case essentially, it certainly proved several elements of my theory to be correct and since I had been engaged to catch a spectral hound and solve the mystery of where her husband had gone, I would be able to provide a complete report tonight.
‘Fluffy!’ shouted Malcolm, clearly calling a dog ‘Susan!’ Were the giant dogs really called Fluffy and Susan? If so, which was which? ‘Come on dogs.’ he called again and this time one of the giant hounds bounded out of the dark.
Then it was the turn of Mr Collins to speak ‘You can come out now, we know you are here.’ He stood with his arms folded, clearly feeling confident. ‘You are not the first to break in here looking for cash, but there is nothing here for you to find. If you are hiding from the dogs you can come out now, they won’t hurt you.’
I was ready to jump down from my position, staying there until they left was not an option, but I wondered what else he might say if I left him to ramble for a few more minutes.
‘Fluffy!’ Malcolm called again.
When Fluffy failed to appear and no one answered Mr Collins request for the intruder to come forward they advanced again. They were roughly twenty metres away and coming directly towards the cabin I was laying on top of. A few paces later and Malcolm spotted the second dog. He seemed genuinely concerned as he rushed forward falling to his knees by its head. I could hear him clearly from my position ‘Fluffy my baby, what have they done to you? If they have hurt, you I will track them down and make them pay.’
‘Never mind the damned dog, Malcolm.’
‘Never mind the dog? Never mind the dog?’ Malcolm roared from his position near the unconscious pooch. ‘This is all your fault! The dog should be at home with me not locked in your junk yard while you shack up with another woman and swindle your wife out of her half of the business.’ Keep going Malcolm; this is priceless I thought happily. Malcolm was still on the ground checking the dog over. He appeared to have contented himself that the dog was just knocked out and was stroking its head. ‘I don’t know how you talked me into this, I swear.’
‘I didn’t talk you into it. I’m your boss, I gave you an order. Simple.’ Mr Collins could not see the storm cloud brewing, but I could. Malcolm was attached to his dogs; I knew how he felt. The dogs were his to love and protect and he was unhappy at how things had turned out. I watched as he carefully laid the big dog’s head back on the ground and got to his feet.
‘You gave me an order, did you?’ Malcolm was not a small man and he was looking ready to throw some weight around.
Mr Collins was suddenly looking less confident. ‘Now then, Malcolm. Let us not get excited. We still have intruders to find.’
‘Well, maybe I don’t want to find them anymore. Maybe I ought to call Mrs Collins and tell her what I know.’
‘Now let’s not do anything rash, Malcolm.’ said Mr Collins.
‘Maybe I should tell Mrs Collins about the secret account and the other set of books that the tax people don’t know about.’
‘You wouldn’t dare.’ spluttered Mr Collins.
‘Or maybe you should make me your new partner in the business being as how loyal I have been to you all these years.’ Malcolm had moved to stand right in front of his boss. He towered over him now being quietly threatening.
‘Yes, Malcolm. Yes. I’m sure we can come to some arrangement.’ Mr Collins was stammering a little.
Beneath me in the dark, Big Ben groaned and both men swung their heads towards the noise. Time to go I thought to myself, but I was not quick enough to prevent what happened next.
Malcom took a step forward, flicked his big torch on and shone it in the general direction of Big Ben. Mr Collins also had a torch, a three-cell steel Maglite. I had not seen it until now as he had not turned it on and I was only seeing it now because he had raised it above his head.
‘No!’ I shouted. It was the only thing I could do but the only effect it had was to make Malcolm look up at me on top of the cabin. Behind him Mr Collins took a step forward and smashed the Maglite down onto Malcolm’s skull. Malcolm dropped like a stone.
I threw myself off the cabin before Mr Collins could follow the first blow up with another and hoped that Malcolm’s skull was as thick as it looked. I landed two-footed, rolled to absorb the impact and came up into a run. Mr Collins was only a few metres away, but the Maglite had reached the apex of its upward swing again and I could tell I wasn’t going to cover the distance in time. He had murder in mind and did not seem even aware that I was present.
I was about to yell at him again in the vain hope that I might disturb his aim then stopped myself for there was no need. The makeshift club swung cruelly downwards and stopped halfway as Susan caught it in her mouth. Susan had seen her stricken master and stepped in to save him. In the pale moonlight Mr Collins looked shocked. He had committed his body to the swing so as his arm had stopped the rest of his upper body had spun savagely about that point. He was now hanging under the dog, Maglite still in hand staring up at the dog’s face with a slack jaw.
The dog then shook its enormous head back and forth a few times and Mr Collins screamed. I know this about dogs from owning a few over the years: When they bite you, it hurts. I have only ever been bitten by accident, while playing with them as they had lunged for and missed a toy. On one occasion, a Labrador of mine bit my right hand and I could not hold a pen for a week. I suspected this was something more convincing than that.
I skidded to a halt next to Mr Collins and Susan. ‘Make it let go! Make it let go!’ Mr Collins appealed. I guess the pain was sufficient that he didn’t care why a chap had appeared out of the dark wearing black combat fatigues, he just wanted help.
‘Hello, Susan.’ I soothed. The dog looked at me impassively. I reached out to stroke its ear, believing that it would either let me do so and perhaps I could slowly convince it to open its mouth, or it would see me as a threat, spit out Mr Collins and bite my face off.
