by steve higgs
‘Having fun, Benjamin?' I asked.
He turned to look at me, dropping the possibly dead man from his grip. ‘Hello, Amanda.’ He offered me his hand to help me up. I was soggy from rolling in a puddle and had bits of leaf litter in my hair. ‘Shall we go?’
‘I should call the Police and have these gentlemen rounded up.’
‘Well… I might have accidentally killed one or two of them. I didn’t think I had hit them that hard, but they haven’t moved for a while, so if it is alright with you, I think I would rather just leave.’
The crowd of boys had scattered. No one able to stand was still in sight so it was going to be problematic finding them. Big Ben might have a point about the damage sustained as well, there were at least seven men on the ground that were not moving. Then I spotted Terrance, trying to limp away.
I moved to intercept him. Big Ben grabbed me around the waist and hauled me towards my car. ‘Come on, Hotstuff. I can hear sirens already. Unless you want to waste the whole afternoon explaining things, we need to get moving.’
He had a point. I needed to focus on the case I was trying to solve, not spend my time earning no money dealing with lowlife criminal scumbags that would probably be out again tomorrow and causing more problems.
Big Ben put me down at my car and ran around to the passenger's side while I fumbled in my bag for my keys again. I slid in and gunned the engine but had to wait for Big Ben while he tried to fold himself into the passenger's seat.
‘How do people get into this thing?' he complained, trying now to reverse his bum in first. ‘Honestly, it's like getting into a child's toy.'
‘I fit in it fine, Ben.’
‘Yes, Hotstuff, I can see that.' With a final huff, he settled into the seat. He had his knees either side of his ears.
‘Seatbelt.’ I prompted.
‘You have got to be kidding.’ He replied. He was probably right.
‘Okay, but you have to travel in the back from now on. You can fit better back there.’ Big Ben had been in my car before. That time I had Tempest with me who is a more normal size for a man. Big Ben was like man plus, but I had better not voice that opinion: His ego was inflated enough as it was.
I nailed the accelerator, thrusting the small car forward with Big Ben bracing himself against the side window and the roof. I whipped around the corner, leaving Terrance, Trevor and all their friends behind. I was fairly sure Big Ben was joking about killing some of them. Fairly sure. Nevertheless, I kept going and escaped the Magdalene Estate as quickly as I could.
My House. Monday, October 31st 1312hrs
A few minutes later my pulse had returned to normal. I was driving in traffic, heading into Maidstone and passing Mote Park. A thought occurred to me.
‘Benjamin, what were you doing on the Magdalene Estate and where is your car?'
‘I wondered when you would get around to asking me that. I was just leaving a young lady’s house and she took me there, so my car is still parked in its garage.’
‘Your hook up from last night?’ I asked. I was trying to keep the judginess out of my voice but had probably failed.
‘No. Goodness, Amanda. My hook up from last night got kicked out this morning so I could go to the gym. Then I met a girl at the gym. She was new and asked me if I could show her around. One thing led to another. She took me home and when I was leaving, I spotted you heading towards your car and figured I could get a lift back into town. When I crossed the road, you were surrounded by chaps who were behaving in a most ungentlemanly manner. I intervened.’
‘You certainly did. I owe you one.’
I could feel Big Ben looking at me. I turned my head to look at him. He was grinning at me with a lecherous smile.
‘You owe me one?’
‘Yes. Benjamin. I owe you a favour in return. It will not be what you are thinking. Honestly, you get so much action, how is it that you don't get bored?'
‘Bored? With women?' he said it like the concept was completely alien. ‘How do I explain this? I have to assume that you’re not a virgin, Hotstuff. And that there is probably more than one man in your back catalogue. Did you notice that each man was different?'
‘Well, obviously.’
‘What I mean is, their todgers were different. The way they touched you was different. The way they felt was different.’
‘Enough.’ I implored. ‘I don’t want to have this conversation.’
‘You know, Hotstuff, you’re very uptight about sex. For an attractive woman, you seem astonishingly introverted. The point I was making is that every woman is different. They feel different, they taste different. The way they perform certain acts is different. I doubt I could ever get bored exploring the female half of the race.'
I had no answer, about the need to have sex with every woman possible or about my own introverted nature. I was fine talking about sex, just not with men that I didn’t really know.
‘So, what were you doing there?’ Big Ben asked, sensing my mood and changing the subject.
‘I was on a case. The gentlemen you met were just some local lowlifes.’
If he wanted me to embellish my explanation, he didn’t voice it. The rest of the journey to his apartment by the river took a few minutes. Big Ben wriggled around in his seat until he could extricate himself, thanked me for the lift and waved me off.
I went home. I needed a change of clothes before I considered doing anything else. My bum was damp from rolling in a puddle and my trousers had several dirty marks on them. I might even need a shower to get all the muck out of my hair.
As I came into my apartment block, I walked through a cobweb, the sticky strands getting stuck on my face and hair. The spider had spun it across the doorway that led into the building, but it struck me as odd that no one else had walked into it already today. It was now mid-afternoon. I rubbed at my face and hair until I could no longer feel it, by which time I had reached my apartment door.
Opening the door though, the spider itself abseiled from my hair to dangle in front of my face. I let out a shriek and did a dance to get rid of it, flapping my hands at my hair to make it come loose without wanting to actually touch it. I was not a fan of spiders.
The offending creature, a house spider with its long legs and tiny body, scuttled away across my floor to vanish under a skirting board just as Bartholomew's words were echoing in my head. That I had walked into a spider's web was nothing more than a coincidence. I was quite certain of that. Nevertheless, I had my eyes peeled for more arachnids as I went through my apartment to my bedroom. Now that I had icky web in my hair, I was definitely getting a shower.
Fifteen minutes later and feeling much cleaner, I was getting dressed between bites of a ham sandwich. In all the excitement of the day, I had forgotten to eat. Thankfully, my fridge usually had something in it that was edible. It was close to half past two and I still had to get to Tonbridge Wells to visit the ghost tours lady and needed to fit in time to sort myself out for tonight's date with Brett.
Standing up from applying a small amount of makeup, I crossed the room to my wardrobe, slipped a pair of low-heeled, tan boots on to compliment the leather jacket I planned to wear, and I was ready. I snagged the plate from the dresser, depositing it in the sink on my way through to my door.
Was that a spider?
In my sink was another spider. Bigger and meatier than the house spider I had encountered before, it was scrambling around for purchase to escape up the stainless-steel walls of my sink but having no luck. It had most likely come up the drainpipe like incey-wincey.
Another spider.
I needed to get rid of it but did not want to squash it and most certainly had no intention of touching it. I found a cup and a notepad, then berated myself as I ducked back each time it darted towards my hands while I tried to catch it.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally suckered it into the cup and dumped it out the window. Again, I assured myself that this was just a coincidence. Nothing to do with B
artholomew at all.
Angry for feeling unnerved, I stuffed my arms into my jacket and went out the door. I had to get to Royal Tonbridge Wells and it was a good forty-minute drive. Coming back would be worse if I timed it wrong and caught the school-run traffic.
Lily Hallett. Monday, October 31st 1404hrs
I found the ghost tours place easily enough, there were several signs to lead people to their office. It was located just off the main street that ran through Tonbridge Wells and was about one hundred metres from the castle. The town had lots of old buildings, as did many towns and villages in the area and though I had never been on a ghost tour myself, my assumption was that they took small groups around the town and into buildings telling them tales of spectres and ghosts that had been seen over the centuries.
I parked right in front of the office's glass fronted reception area and went to the door. As I pushed it open, a photographer on the other side started taking pictures of me and a tall lady with her hair pinned up came to shake my hand.
‘Lily Hallett.’ She introduced herself while the photographer took more pictures.
‘Amanda Harper.’ I replied and handed her my card. She was looking out the window though and not at me.
‘Did he travel separately?’ she asked.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Tempest Michaels. Is he in his own car?’ she motioned for the photographer. ‘Go outside so you can get his picture as he arrives.’
The photographer scuttled forward and out the door.
‘Tempest is not coming, Mrs. Hallett.'
‘What?’
‘He is currently not available. I am the other detective at the Blue Moon Investigation Agency and will be handling your case.’
‘Oh, I’m not sure that will do at all.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Well, Tempest is quite famous, you see. All that business recently with the Phantom and the Vampire gave him notoriety in the supernatural community.’
‘Is that important?’
‘Err, no. No, of course not.' Mrs. Hallett was acting strangely.
‘Shall we press on then, Mrs. Hallett?'
‘It's Miss Hallett, or Lily, please. My husband absconded with a younger woman and will not be returning. Come this way please.' Lily led me through the reception area to a back office. The two rooms appeared to be the entirety of the business premises. Probably the customers gathered in reception before setting off. The poor photographer was still outside waiting for Tempest.
‘So, Lily, please tell me what has been happening and what outcome you’re hoping to achieve.’
Miss Hallett took her time answering as if she needed to give the question some thought first. Then she led with, ‘Are you sure Tempest is not available? I would really like to meet him.’ Then she realised that she was being a bit rude. ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to suggest that you cannot do the job quite adequately, of course.’
‘Of course.’ I replied coolly. ‘Tempest is, however, not available.’
‘Most disappointing.’
She fell silent again and I had to prompt her once more a few seconds later when I began to wonder if she planned to speak or not. ‘The case, Miss Hallett?'
‘Oh yes, Yes, of course. Since you’re here, we shall have to make the best of it. It is Halloween, so as you might expect, tonight is our busiest night of the year. The whole weekend has been busy in fact. With Halloween falling on a Monday we have been able to draw our activities out over several days.'
‘What is it you wish me to investigate?’ I prompted again. I was beginning to tire of Miss Hallett’s rambling.
‘Yes, I should get to the point, shouldn’t I? We have suffered attacks by a real ghost during our tours. It started three weeks ago. On October 12th to be exact. We always have a couple of hidden figures on our tours to jump out and scare the guests. It always goes down well, apart from one time when a lady had a heart attack and we had to halt the tour while the paramedics tended to her. We had to give everyone a refund and…’
I had to interrupt her flow and steer it back onto the subject in question once more. ‘You were telling me about the extra ghost.’
‘Yes, yes. Well, I was conducting the tour that day myself and there was screaming suddenly when I was not expecting it. A young man who was there with his girlfriend claimed that something had touched him. I was polite about it, but I was convinced he was making it up.'
‘Then it happened again a few days later, this time a pair of ladies that were around my age. Gwen was taking that tour, but she was quite shaken when she returned here with the party at the end of their tour. The ladies reported they had been touched by something cold and that it had whispered something to them.’
‘What did it say?’ I asked. I was making notes and also recording the conversation on my phone.
‘They couldn’t make it out. It was too faint they said, but it might have been Sir Chelios.’
‘Sir Chelios?’
‘Yes. He was a knight in the eight century that was murdered by his squire and is said to haunt the grounds of Thornton House. We go through the grounds on every tour. It is just around the corner. I dismissed what they said, but the next night two different ladies said they heard the same thing and that they were touched by something cold.’
I finished writing and looked up. Miss Hallett was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to ask a question perhaps. Before I could form one, she started speaking again. ‘So, should I call the papers?’
‘Whatever for?’
‘Oh, ah. Never mind then. Will Tempest be back soon? Should we wait until he returns and maybe the two of you can tackle this together?’ I was certain she only included me because she knew it would have been rude to tell me she wanted him and had no interest in me. I was curious about what was driving her desire to have Tempest involved.
‘Do you have any footage of the tours that might be of use? It says outside that you film every tour.’
‘Yes, I guess we do. I hadn’t thought of that.’
‘I will need to see that footage, please. Can you have it compressed and emailed over to the address on the card I gave you please?'
‘Anything else?’
‘I really need to speak with the persons that reported being touched and hearing the voice. Can you provide a list of their names and phone numbers please?'
Miss Hallett was beginning to look nervous. About what I had no idea. I was curious enough to ask though, ‘You seem on edge, Lily. Is something bothering you?’
‘Err, no. Nothing at all.’ I was dubious.
Please provide me the list of names and numbers and the footage as soon as you can. I will start analysing it as soon as I can. I will also see if I can find out when Tempest will next be available and if he can accompany me when I return.’
‘Oh, that would be super.' Lily beamed. I had no intention of doing that at all, but I had wanted to see how she would react to the suggestion.
I stood up, putting my things back into my bag. I thanked Lily for her time and headed for the door.
The poor photographer, a downtrodden looking man in his late forties was still waiting outside where he had been instructed to go. I waved goodbye to him as well, slipped into my car and thumbed the ignition.
Then I remembered that I had Brett coming tonight. How could that major fact have possibly not been at the front of my mind? I needed underwear, a wax, and condoms. Well, a wax job was out, just in case I reacted to it. I would do some tidying with a razor instead. The idea of new underwear was enticing, but I considered my bank account and changed my mind. I had a couple of negligees that had not seen the light of day for a long while, I could pick one of those. I did need to get condoms though, I would feel much safer going into the evening if I had taken care of that element myself.
I could walk to the shops in Tonbridge Wells from where I was parked, but I did not wish to linger here in case Miss Hallett had further questions for me. I had spent far too little time inv
esting in myself recently. I reversed from my parking space and spun the little car around. In my rear-view mirror, the photographer was peering through the window now, possibly hoping Lily would see him and let him go back inside.
How Hard can it be to Buy Condoms? Monday, October 31st 1547hrs
I had been blithely oblivious of the time until I pulled into traffic and checked the clock on the dashboard. I had more time than I thought. I was caught between the crush of mums on the school run if I headed back to Maidstone now or the crush of workers going home if I waited. I flipped a mental coin and set off.
I didn’t really know Tonbridge Wells, so although I was sure I could find a pharmacy and get the product I wanted, I knew where I was going in Maidstone and that seemed easier.
The road to Maidstone was busy but moving, so although it was a bit slow in places, I managed to get home in under an hour. It felt like it had been a long day already. I was fatigued and wanted to spend some time relaxing before Brett arrived, but I had no time to waste. I parked in Fremlin Walk. Boots the Chemist would have what I needed, plus I could run through the lingerie department in the department store that dominated the shopping precinct and see if they had something on sale in my size.
Hustling through the town, I had limited time to complete my tasks before the shops closed so I didn’t hang around or allow myself to get distracted by the closing down sale at the shoe shop I had to pass.
Going into Boots the Chemist I realised that it had been so long since I last bought condoms that they had changed the shop around and I couldn't find their new location. I checked my watch. I had been around the shop twice and not spotted them, so I looked for an assistant to ask.
I spotted the familiar white coat the staff in Boots wear one aisle over. ‘Excuse me?’ I said when I got to him.
He had been pricing up shampoos and putting them on a shelf but turned to face me now. He was maybe seventeen years old. I was instantly uncomfortable asking him about contraceptives.
‘Uh, never mind. Thank you.’ I managed as my cheeks flushed. I went to the counter at the front of the shop where a short lady in her sixties was working. ‘Hello.’ I tried.
