“Hold it right there!” the voice called from overhead.
The kaiju had come ashore from the sea, so we’d been lying in wait for it near the coastline. But whoever was yelling at us now was over on the sheer cliffs.
“Who’s that?” I muttered.
Suddenly, my visor zoomed in on the top of the cliffs and focused on a lone girl standing there. It was probably some sort of telescopic vision function kicking in automatically. For the record, the inside of my visor was built like a computer screen. I was seeing an image of the clifftop in a separate window from the kaiju right in front of me, meaning I could look away from it without immediately being squashed.
“Hey, this place is dangerous! Get out here right now!”
Of course, I wasn’t so much worried about her being up on the cliff as I was about her being near the giant monster. But she ignored my warning...
“I’ll be fine! You’re the ones in danger!”
And gave us a warning of her own. Just who was this girl?
“Your rampage ends here, evil kaiju! I’ll take you down!” she shouted as she pulled out a cutesy compact mirror.
Wait, this setup looks awfully familiar...
“Transform!”
Yeah, that’s exactly what I thought she was gonna say. And the instant she did, light filled my vision.
“Hey, what’s with this light?! I can’t see what’s going on down there!”
I could barely hear Zeta’s voice through the transmitter. She was probably using cutting-edge space technology for filming equipment, but not even she could tell what was going on inside the light. There was no point in wasting time wondering what it could be, though. There was really only one possibility. The light eventually faded, and...
“Like the dazzling lights in the sky, Star Prism is here!”
The gallant, cool girl on the cliffs reappeared from the light and announced herself as Star Prism. And wow, what a spectacular sight that was.
“Hey! You’re getting your screen time stolen from you, hero!” Zeta had completely snapped. “Who is she supposed to be anyway?!”
“Um, the local hero... Er, heroine?”
And not some space invader or fraud. She was the real deal—a good guy from Earth.
“So, uh... What should we do now?”
The whole concept of Zeta’s show was to showcase a real hero in action. But we weren’t real heroes; we were just actors. We didn’t hold a candle to the real thing.
“Damn it! Is nothing easy?! Why did this all have to happen on the day of the big shoot?!”
“I know my opinion really isn’t worth a whole lot right now, but I completely agree with you there.”
“Argh, whatever! The show must go on! I’ll find some way to write in an alliance with the local hero who arrives on the scene to help! Just get in there quick! You can fight together, but make sure you guys are the ones to finish this! Otherwise everything really will be ruined!”
At Zeta’s half-panicked, half-whining order to attack, Iris and I reluctantly nodded at each other.
“Okay, Iris... I mean, Galactic Beauty! Let’s go!”
“Okay, Great!”
“Hey, Iris! Don’t just make up nicknames!”
While the situation had taken an unexpected turn, we couldn’t afford to put the shoot on hold to figure out the details. We couldn’t let Star Prism fight by herself, either, because...
“Yaaaaah!”
She was really weak!
Actually, it didn’t really look like her jumping abilities or anything were weak at all... They just weren’t doing anything against the kaiju. It didn’t look good for her.
“GRAAAAAAHH!”
The kaiju had paused its advance during Star Prism’s appearance, which it now resumed in full force.
“Waaait!”
Star Prism was recklessly charging right for it, but the kaiju slapped her away like it might a fly. She hit the ground like a rocket, but managed to stick the landing on both legs and didn’t look any worse for wear for it.
“Hey!” I shouted out.
“You! Didn’t I tell you to run just now?!” Star Prism raged at the sight of me and Iris running towards her.
Worrying about the welfare of total strangers over her own... I know she was a real hero and all, but jeez. Talk about typecast.
“We’ll fight with you!”
“What?!”
“I know you’re concerned about us, but we’re concerned about you, too!”
“Just get out of here already! You’re in those weird outfits and everything!”
“Yours isn’t much better, you know!” Neither of us really had much room to talk in that regard. “At any rate, we’re going to fight t—”
Smash!
As we were bickering like fools, the kaiju took another step forward. It had already made it off the beach, bringing its heavy foot down on the road that followed the coastline.
“Stop right theeeeere!” the three of us swiftly yelled, springing into action.
I took the laser gun from my belt and pulled the trigger, Iris threw a flurry of punches at the kaiju’s leg, and Star Prism jumped in and tried to kick its belly. However...
“What?!”
“Huh?!”
“Yaaaaah!”
Neither my laser gun nor Iris’s punches had any effect. They simply bounced off the kaiju’s thick hide. And as for Star Prism, she was once again smacked out of the air.
So... wasn’t that a little weak for a laser gun?! This one looked a little different, but the laser gun I borrowed from Iris last time took down a Demon King with just a few shots! I took a second look at it to discover its output had been fixed to the minimum setting.
“Hey, Zeta! How do I power up this thing?! It’s been set to the lowest output!”
“Oh, that gun won’t shoot anything more powerful than that. It’d be boring if a hero defeated the bad guy with a gun, right?”
“We’re fighting for our lives here!”
“Dumbass! I am, too! My business is on the line here! Now pull yourself together and fight!”
That might be true, but...! I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but that wasn’t going to change the power of the laser. I gave up on it and decided to try testing a different feature of my suit.
“Erm... Dual Skill, activate!”
I yelled into the suit’s voice detection system. One full body-shaking moment later, I turned to see an exact copy of myself standing next to me.
“Whoa! I really cloned myself!”
“Whoa! I really cloned myself!”
Even my voice had a clone! Space technology is sick!
“O-Okay!”
“O-Okay!”
One of the suit’s features was that it effectively removed the safety on my body. Normally, if a human went all-out, they’d destroy their body in the process. The brain naturally stops you before it comes to that, but the suit bypassed that limiter by supporting the body so that it wouldn’t be in any danger, even uninhibited. So, backed by first-class space tech, me and Rekka #2 kicked off the ground together with all our might...
“Uuuuuaaaaargh!”
“Uuuuuaaaaargh!”
And launched ourselves right at the kaiju! We sailed through the air... and were promptly smacked down by its tail.
“Gweh!”
“Gweh!”
Even our cries of pain were doubled up as we rolled around on the ground pathetically.
“Zeta, what good is this suit even supposed to be?!”
“Well, it was designed for gramps. He’s primed for battle as it is, so with his limits removed, he would’ve been able to take that kaiju out like the trash.”
Ugh... Now that I thought about it, even Iris couldn’t do anything to the kaiju in her suit, and she was several times more powerful than any Earthling. There was no way the attacks of a regular guy like me were gonna help.
“At any rate, that suit should handle one ton’s worth of shock impact, so do wha
t you can!”
There was that, I guess. It hadn’t hurt much at all when I was smacked into the ground just now.
“Kyaaaaah!”
“Waaaaah!”
Aaaand there went Iris and Star Prism again! I duplicated myself once more to catch them both as they were smacked out of the air.
“GRAAAAAAHH!”
“Aaaaah!”
“Aaaaah!”
Me and Rekka #2 booked it away from the space kaiju while carrying the two girls.
Damn it! I hate to admit it, but I might not be too cut out for this fair-and-square fighting business. I knew running away wasn’t going to do anything, but at this rate, I just couldn’t see any way of winning! To hide from the kaiju, I made a beeline for the tree line. Once behind cover, I set down the girls and dismissed my clone.
“You two all right? Are you hurt?”
“Nope! I’m just fine,” replied Iris.
“I’m fine, but... are you a ninja?” asked Star Prism, peering at me in near disbelief.
“Uh, no,” I answered, probably looking a little troubled.
“Then what exactly are you two?”
“Um... We’re stand-in space heroes, I guess?”
Star Prism tilted her head in confusion at my curious reply.
“And who are you?” Iris asked, throwing the question right back at her.
“Huh? I’m Star Prism.”
“Right, but who is ‘Star Prism’?”
“I’m a defender of justice...” Star Prism answered Iris.
“You’re pretty weak for a defender of justice.”
“H-Hey! That goes for you two, too! You said you were space heroes.”
“No, I said we’re stand-ins...”
Just as we were starting to go around in circles without actually addressing the real issue at hand, someone interrupted our conversation.
“If you want to know more about Star Prism, then just ask me!”
Or, maybe I should say “something” interrupted us? What the heck was it? It was a small, pink... thing. A creature the size of my hand with beady little eyes. No, seriously, what is that?
“My name is Starmon! Nice to meet you! Who are you?”
“Er, uh, I’m Rekka Namidare, and this is Iris.”
Even Iris was taken aback at the oddity of Starmon, and she had seen all kinds of creatures throughout the universe. I was surprised, too, but I knew this kind of weirdness came hand-in-hand with the current situation, so I had a fairly good idea what his(?) purpose here was.
“Um, Starmon, you’re like... one of those mascot characters, right?”
“Yup! That’s right!”
Huh, so defenders of justice really did come with their own mascots... Wait, that didn’t matter right now!
“So, Star Prism—”
“Kiri.”
“Huh?”
“My real name is Kiri Hayashibara. It’s a bit of a mouthful, so you can just call me Kiri. And I’ll call you guys Rekka and Iris.”
“Okay, Kiri. So, do you have, like, a secret ability?”
“Secret ability?”
“Like one of those signature special powers superheroes use? Something that could defeat a kaiju, ideally?”
She seemed like a real superhero (unlike us), so I figured she probably had some secret weapon that could take down the bad guy for us.
Smaaaaash!
Even as we spoke, the kaiju was heading closer towards human civilization. Defeating it would be impossible as things were right now, which is why I was after something that might tip the scales in our favor. At least, that’s what I was hoping for when I asked her, but...
“My special ability as Star Prism is called Starlight Healing, but it won’t work against that kaiju.”
“Why not?”
“Starlight Healing is an ability that purifies evil hearts. But that kaiju is just acting on instinct. There’s nothing inherently evil about its desire to destroy the Earth.”
Okay, that’s fair... It’s not like you could blame wild animals for having to hunt.
“Sure, being able to purify evil is a great skill for a defender of justice, but, but...! Don’t you have something more normal? You know, something like an actual attack?!”
“Hmm... I don’t have anything like a special technique, but there might be one thing.”
Starmon bent his body—he didn’t have a neck, but he’d probably be cocking it if he did—and gave something of a troubled explanation.
“Star Prism has a special trait that allows her to convert voices of support into power!”
“Voices of support?”
“Yup! If thousands and thousands of people cheer for her, she’ll surely be able defeat that kaiju!”
Wait, is this the same gimmick in the costumed hero shows they have at amusement parks and stuff where the announcer/narrator tells to the crowd, “Oh, no, kids! Looks like the hero’s in trouble! Everyone cheer for him to show your support!” The way Starmon put it sure made it sound like a heroic ability, but...
“Out here, that’s a bit...”
We were on a remote coast of Hokkaido. It wasn’t exactly like we had an audience.
“Heeey, people of Earth! Everyone, share your power with me!” Star Prism—Kiri—threw both her hands up to the sky and cried.
Of course, nothing of the sort happened.
“No good, huh? Then at least give me energy! Yeah! Yeah! Aaaall right! Let’s go!”
Kiri flailed her arms a bit and yelled to the skies once more before turning to charge at the kaiju.
“No, no, no! Wait! Nothing happened just now!”
“But I have to stop that kaiju, or it’ll wreak havoc!”
That may be true, but you switched gears way too quickly!
I tried to hold Kiri back, but she didn’t hold back in throwing me off of her.
“I know it’s not my place to say this, but you’re being way too reckless!” I shouted.
“Then what do you want me to do?!”
“I’m saying we need a plan!”
Vrrrrr!
Something was vibrating at my chest—ah, my cell phone! I stuck my hand down the collar of my suit and pulled it out of my breast pocket.
“Satsuki?!”
“Rekka, I’m heading to you now with Lea, Corona, and Tsumiki. Harissa summoned Lyun, too, so we’ll all be there in a few minutes.”
“Got it! Thanks!”
I pumped my fist in the air as I hung up.
“Who was that?” asked Kiri.
“A comrade. Once they arrive, we’ll be able to defeat that kaiju.”
I gave her a quick briefing of what was going on. When she heard it, her expression brightened immediately, and she came right back.
“Really?! That’s amazing!”
“Y-Yeah, that’s why...”
“Hey, hold on! If you borrow any more help from other people, Galactic Great will get no screen time!”
That’s why I had to convince Zeta to go along with it...
“But that’s better than not defeating it at all, right? You can always say Galactic Great did his best in the fight and the team won...”
“You realize this isn’t a war, right? The main character has to be the one to defeat the enemy in a superhero show! Even in war shows, it’s usually the leader of the squad who gets the kill! We have Galactic Great and Galactic Beauty working together this time, but in the end, the final blow has to be by Galactic Great’s hand!”
Crap, really? Now that she mentioned it, that did sorta seem to fit the bill of just about every superhero show I’d seen as a kid...
“Huh? What’s wrong?” Kiri asked since she couldn’t hear Zeta yelling at me.
“Nothing, just a little argument with another comrade on our side...”
I gave Kiri the rundown of the situation, which she didn’t seem to like one bit.
“What’s with that?! So she doesn’t care about the people on Earth at all?! Give that here! I want to have a word with
her!”
With that, she leaned in to bring her face towards mine. She was trying to get close to the transmitter inside of my helmet.
“Hey! Don’t try and get so close with Rekka!”
This time, Iris got mad—apparently upset with how close Kiri was getting—and started to pull me this way and that.
“C-C-Calm down, Iris!”
Satsuki and the others were nearly here, but I wanted to stop the kaiju as soon as possible. In order to do that, we had to attack—or rather, distract—the kaiju one more time, but... For some reason, Starmon seemed to be in a fluster.
“Star Prism! Do you really intend on borrowing Rekka’s help?”
“Of course! I can’t win alone!”
“B-But if you do that...”
What? What was the little guy so worked up about? Just as I was about to ask...
“Hey!” Zeta shouted over the transmitter, a different tone of urgency in her voice than before.
Then, the next moment...
BOOOOOOOOM!
An explosive roar rang out like the crack of thunder.
We all braced ourselves as a huge tremor rocked us and the ground below.
“Wh-What just happened?” I murmured in a daze after the shaking stopped.
“That damn kaiju just spewed fire...” I could hear Zeta gulp nervously from the other side of the transmitter.
“Fire? Why would the ground shake because of fire?”
“When I said fire, I more meant the laser kind... It’s basically a plasma beam, and that bastard just blew away half a mountain with it.”
“What?!”
I poked my head out of the grove just a little to check. And sure enough, the top part of one of the smaller mountains visible from here was really gone. That... That can’t be fair. Even in this hi-tech suit, if I took one of those beams...
“Damn it.” Zeta clicked her tongue. “All right, we’re evacuating for now. I’ll pick you up in the spaceship.”
“Huh? But the shooting...”
“I told you to take responsibility, not to get yourself killed.”
The suit would’ve been fine against an opponent with purely physical attacks, but Zeta had probably realized herself that it wouldn’t hold up against a plasma beam. But if we gave up here...
“Your show will...”
“Can it. You did everything you could, so we’re calling it a wrap. Stop overthinking things, brat,” Zeta said bluntly, unable to hide the frustration in her voice.
I Saved Too Many Girls and Caused the Apocalypse: Volume 10 Page 7
