by Brown, Tara
“Well, remember his father has died and none of this is about you. So don't act up and try not to make a scene. And stay out of view of the cameras. His family doesn't need that this week.” She lectured as though she was my mother and I was that same girl who first came to Andorra.
“I won’t.” I didn't argue or defend myself, there was no point. Hattie knew me. She knew the old me. The one who had been shipped off to her house with a sliced-up wrist and the blood alcohol level of a sailor, as she so politely put it.
It was four years later, and I couldn't even recall who she was, that girl. But there was always a chance she would resurface. Or rather a fear.
“Yeah, but we both know I need to say it. Keep me posted and stay away from the evil queen and Alex. I’m tired and I don't want to get on a plane to kill members of the royal family.” She might’ve been a hard ass, but she was my hard ass.
“Love you,” I said softly, wishing she were here.
“Love you too.” Her tone was a worried one I was familiar with. “Keep me posted. Chat soon, kid.”
“Okay. Bye,” I said and pressed to end the call as a noise filled the wind.
“Fin!” Johan called to me, waving as he hurried up the stairs. When he reached the top, he spun in a circle, checking out the viewpoint. “What are you doing up here alone?” His question was loaded. “How are you alone? No stalkers?”
The answers were varied, and none of them pleasant.
There was the “avoiding your hateful bitch mother until my flight tomorrow” answer.
The “I can’t bear to see Aiden” answer.
And lastly, the “I’m hiding from Alex and her smug I-won face.” I’d run into her three times “randomly” since the funeral, suffering through her sickly sweetness as she continually asked me about being single or the hotel or brought up Aiden, which made me want to claw her eyes out. And again, that would also be bad. Blinding the public relations expert would land me in the fake dungeons for real.
Especially since most people in the country already hated me. The Fin Club was here, so it wasn’t all haters, but there was no denying the Andorrans blamed me for everything changing in their world. Me and my Western ways corrupting the boy king . . .
“Enjoying the view one last time before I head back,” I lied. “I think the stairs keep most people away. Are you packed up?” Johan was coming back to St Andrews again. Not that I would see a tremendous amount of him. He’d certainly avoid being around me when Jess was there.
“Yeah, I’m all packed,” he declared, dejectedly, the way a boy should sound when his father finally succumbed to cancer. “And as weird as this sounds, I’m looking forward to this year.”
“Because it’s our last?” I smiled cheekily.
“No. I guess because it’s over. Dad’s gone. There’s no more worrying that he’ll die while I’m away. Or worrying Mom will be alone when it happens. It’ll be nice to have nothing to worry about, beyond university.” He seemed truly relieved. “Can I ask you something?” He leaned on the stone fence and stared out at the lush valley. “Is everything all right, Fin? Are you all right?” He was far more perceptive than I’d given him credit for. “You seem so different. Distant and tired.”
“Yeah, you know, I’m just bummed. Your dad’s death, though expected, was heartbreaking for everyone.”
“I can tell when you’re lying. You’re actually quite bad at it, did you know that?” he asked and my cheeks flushed. “And you hated my dad, almost as much as you hate my mom.”
“I never hated your dad. He was a savvy businessman and I respected that. And I’m not that bad at lying; I’m out of practice. I used to be better.” I nearly missed being able to lie like before.
What a sentiment.
“You can tell me what’s really wrong. I won’t go reporting it to His Royal Highness.” His tone suggested he was annoyed with Aiden too, but I couldn't imagine why. Since Geoff’s death, the siblings had gotten along better than any I’d ever seen, and their father’s sickness had only improved the relationship. Unless of course he was still angry over the whole Jess thing.
“I’d never suspect you of reporting on me,” I jested with a long sigh. “I think it’s just hard being here, seeing him. I’ll be fine when we get back to Scotland.” That was another lie.
“Do you regret it? Breaking things off?” he pried.
“No,” I gave the reply I should, hiding that it wasn’t me who’d broken things off. Clearly, Aiden wanted to be the victim in the story. I played the villain so well, why rob him of his chance?
And what did it matter who had ended it?
It was over.
A feeling I hadn’t come to terms with.
And how could I?
We’d only broken things off two months earlier, and I was already back, seeing him. Missing him. Running into him in hallways and watching him escort Alex everywhere.
“I envy you sometimes,” he said, keeping his tone low, “being able to walk away from this.”
“At least you still have two years left at college. And you’re not next in line. Mary’s already spending too much time learning her role as number two. So in some ways, you’re able to walk in any direction you like.” I tried to make it sound brighter than it was but realized reminding him of the bad luck they’d suffered might not be the best idea.
“I hope the years in Scotland drag.” He turned and lost the charm and smile. “Anyway, how’s Jess? She still won’t return any of my texts and I had hoped she’d come, despite the injury.”
“The same as when you asked me this morning at breakfast. She wishes she’d been able to come.” That was not a lie. But her reasons for coming had nothing to do with Johan and everything to do with me. A fact I easily kept to myself. She was angry with him for taking Aiden’s side in the breakup, something I’d forgiven him for. Everyone knew how I was. Everyone but Linna and Jess who knew the truth and were sworn to secrecy. A secret that had proven too big for Jess and Johan to survive. He’d gone on about how selfish I was, and she’d held her tongue as best she could. Until she couldn’t. And they broke up, screaming at each other, one defending me and the other defending Aiden.
It still made me sick.
“Tell her I say hello, will you?” There was too much of every kind of hope in his eyes.
“Of course.” I reached for him, pulling him into my embrace. “I’m so sorry you broke up.”
“No.” He hugged tighter, his fingers digging into my back. “I’m sorry I called you selfish. You’re not. I was a fool. And I can tell there’s something I don’t know. Which makes me see that Jess defended you to the death of us for a reason.”
“I am selfish.”
“Fin, you’re truly not. You let people say you are, but when the cards are down, as you Americans say, you’re not selfish at all. And I know how my family is.”
“You know, you could always go there and tell her all this yourself. I wouldn't tell a soul you were there. And she might forgive you if you did a grand gesture like that. Plus, she’s laid up. She can’t get away so easily this time.” I desperately needed this conversation to change.
“Oh thank God. I was hoping you’d approve. I’m leaving tonight. You could come too.” He pulled back, lifting his dark eyebrows, highlighting the mischief in his twinkling eyes. “Unless you’re hoping to see Aiden.”
“No. I have to go back to London tomorrow, pack up our stuff, and get back to Scotland. I don't have time for a trip to Spokane with Jess not able to help with the move and Linna all wrapped up in her new side hustle. Also, I’m a TA this year, and we have to be in class with our professor for the first week of September. Mine for sure wants a week before classes begin to force me to help with the outline and lesson plans.” I avoided the Aiden question.
“You mean he wants you to do it for him.” Johan laughed. He knew Professor McNeill well enough as a family friend to predict I’d be the one doing the outline and plan. We both did.
“
Yeah.” I joined him, laughing.
“Okay, well don't warn her I’m coming and don't tell anyone, please.”
“I wouldn't dare.” I rested a hand on his firm arm. “Give my sister a hug for me and tell her to be careful.” I shook my head at the ridiculous situation. “I still can’t believe she broke her ankle.”
“Yeah, me either.” He laughed but cut it short, taking a deep breath and blurting, “I’m gonna say one thing because I love you both and I need to say this: You should try to patch things up with Aiden. Whatever my mother did to make you break up this time, it’s not his fault. And he can’t help being a king. I know it’s not ideal, but it isn’t his fault. And he’s stubborn, so you may have to make the first move.”
“Okay. I’ll think about it,” I lied well enough that his smile came back.
“Promise?”
“Yes,” I said as I turned and headed back to the stairs. “Speaking of which, I better get going. You coming for dinner at the suite before you fly out?”
“No, leaving now for Toulouse. I just want to light a bit of incense and say farewell to Dad.”
“Have a safe trip.”
“I will.” He waved. “And I’ll see you in St Andrews.”
“Okay.” I waved too.
I was halfway down the stairs when he shouted at me from the top, “He’s a broken man, Fin. Crushed!”
Unsure how to respond, I waved once more, smiling as though we were joking.
Tracy nodded his head softly as I reached the bottom of the stairs. “Get enough alone time?” he asked boldly.
“Not a chance. You and I both know there is no such thing here. Hattie phoning to make sure I’m not misbehaving. Johan coming to nag me about his brother.” I sighed and leaned back into the warm leather, enjoying the heat for one last day. “At least it’s almost over.”
“You excited to be going home?” he asked in the rearview.
“Tomorrow morning can’t come fast enough.”
“And you’ll be all right?” His constant worrying over me reminded me of my dad.
“I’ll be fine, seriously. They lost their dad, worry about them.”
“They have known for two months that this was it, he died in peace, and they have each other and an entire country worrying about them. They can afford to spare a single concerned citizen.” He spoke like he knew things he shouldn't, which didn’t surprise me.
“I still can’t believe he’s gone.” It wasn't shocking, just weird. Aiden couldn't go back now. There was no sharing the job with his father and leaving the country as he felt the need. Everything would be done as a dignitary now.
And as much as I wanted to avoid feeling sorry for him, I did. He never wanted this life.
“And you’re not accompanying Prince Johan on his secret trip to Spokane?”
“No, how do you even know that?” Tracy was truly Yoda, something Jess had called him for some time now. His uncanny ability to figure out things was next level.
“The walls inside the castle have ears. And King Aiden tracks his credit cards as a means to watch him without his knowing, so poor Prince Johan feels as though he has some freedoms.” He chuckled. “A trick he learned from his father a long time ago.”
“Sneaky.” I disapproved but my opinion was worth nothing to King Aiden or his father. I had been nothing but a means to an end to him. A pawn.
At least his mom’s feelings for me were genuine.
A bitch hated me more than she hated anything and all her fancy talking and pretending had been along the same lines of a serial killer feeding you before killing you. The last two years had proven that, comfortably. But at least she was honest at this point. No more pretenses or acting. Just minimal contact and an attempt at not being completely rude in front of others.
And all that was fine with me. She wasn’t my issue. Not anymore.
It was one of the few perks of not dating Aiden.
One of like two . . .
Tracy and I sat in contemplative silence as I tried not to stew over the breakup, and he focused on driving now that tourism in Andorra was booming. Traffic was busting at the seams. Construction was out of control and the streets were packed with people coming and going, desperate to catch a glimpse of the royal family who moved freely through the countryside. But that was becoming less frequent now.
Tracy turned into the driveway of the mansion, waving at the guard in the station.
“I’m going back to my hotel, Tracy.”
“Mary asked me to bring you by the house. Didn’t she tell you? She said you knew,” he said innocently as he pulled up to the front entrance, stopping the car in front of a huge crowd at the public tour door to the mansion. Since Andorra had become famous, there was now a small wing dedicated to the enlightenment and celebration of all things Andorran. And the mansion, which served as their version of a palace, sacrificed a section for publicity.
Everyone in the house avoided this side of the mansion, and this entrance, at all costs, despite security being tighter than Aiden’s mom’s smile.
“She didn’t tell me anything. Why are we here?” I asked when he parked. “Why can’t she meet me at the hotel?”
“You’re going inside,” he said flatly like I should know the answer. “I have been given instructions.”
“Dude! You knew she didn't tell me.” I gasped, seeing the hundreds of eager faces in the lineup, all trying to peer through the tinted windows. “You can’t do this to me. I’m not even wearing makeup. Take me to the private entrance, please!”
“Queen mother’s orders. She said if I dropped you off here, she wanted the crowds to see you.”
“You couldn't warn me?” I asked, not budging as anxiety built in my stomach.
“No, you would have gotten out on the hillside and hiked through the woods. I’m not an idiot, Fin.” He winked as if anything about this was a joke. “You better hurry before anyone else finds out the Finley Roze is here and that crowd swells more. Sunglasses to cover those bags.”
“I’m not getting out!” I folded my arms and nestled into the seat.
“Then you will be dragged from the car and everyone will take photographs of it.”
“This is some shit.” I contemplated his words and realized there was no point in fighting it. The royals got what the royals wanted. “You are dead to me!” I pointed at him and took a deep breath, gathering my chill and putting my sunglasses on.
“You love me and we both know it.” He was right. Even if he did things like his job.
The queen was the asshole in this.
As the door opened, I climbed out, all the grace and manners of a well-bred (well taught by Mary) courtesan. I kept my head high while reporters shouted rude questions and onlookers begged for my autograph. No one would be the wiser as to the hissy fit I’d just pulled.
“Fin, look here! One smile, Fin!”
“Fin, is it true you and King Aiden are done? Did he leave you for Princess Alexandria?”
“Are you pregnant?”
“Did you and the king secretly marry?”
“Will you marry now that the king’s father is gone?”
“Fin!”
The questions stung as I hurried through the open door, heaving my breath and once more wishing for the quiet of Scotland.
It was the first time I’d been outwardly asked by the public if we had broken up. Clearly, the world was starting to hear about it, something I had to assume Alex was behind. She was behind everything that went wrong. Her act and lies about her mother being the evil one were just that, an act and lies to protect her position here with Aiden’s family. With Aiden. Something the queen was aware of. And she hated me so much that Alex remained the better choice. Alex could kill the prime minister and still be the better choice. And eventually Aiden would come around and agree. And I didn't want to be within a thousand miles on that day.
“Fin!” Mary came rushing in with Oswald hot on her heels. “Why didn't you come in the back—?”
“Mother’s orders,” I muttered and walked to the stairs, petting the large dog as we hurried. “Hello, little sir.” I scratched his chin as he panted at me. “I know, it’s hot. I’m hot too.”
“Are you joking? Really? She wants to play these sorts of intrigues during Father’s wake? I am going to kill—”
“No,” I cut her off a second time, realizing what she was ranting about. “You aren’t. You’re going to pretend you don't know, and we are going to act like we don't care. Because we don't. Let her and Alex do their worst. I’m not part of all this anymore.” I linked my arm in hers and exhaled loudly as we hurried from the public part of the house to the private side, both being scrutinized by a guard as we passed by. “I’m free. Their days of messing with me are over. Tomorrow I’ll leave and hopefully not come back here for a really long time. Like crazy long.” Maybe never. That was the dream. My poor heart needed space and time.
“We’ll always find a way to wrangle you back here,” she joked but there was no humor in either of us.
“I shouldn't be here, Mary.” I paused, watching for staff close enough to hear us. “If Aiden sees me—”
“He’s not home. He said he’s in meetings all day. Shall we have some tea, to settle you?” she asked.
“Do you need some tea?” I turned the questioning around. “Because I came here for you.” I scratched Oswald’s ears again. “And of course you.”
“I’m fine. I don't know why we keep having this conversation,” Mary moaned and steered me to the private parlor near her room. “Father was sick, incredibly sick. And we got two extra years out of him. And he held on far too long for all of us. I cherish those years and memories and refuse to be sad. He’s gone, but he’s also out of pain. Seeing him in a coma for five days was awful. He’s at peace. And we are all at peace with his death. Even Mother, contrary to how she is acting.”
Ever the voice of reason.
“I know, but he was still your dad. You can be sad, I’m here for you. And Jess said we have to FaceTime her later so she can properly give you her love. And Linna should be checking in with me from whatever the hell she’s doing. Maybe we can meet her somewhere.” Wincing, I changed the last sentence, “We can meet at the hotel. It’s really nice. Like crazy nice.” Of course I wouldn't be able to go anywhere in Andorra now. I pulled my phone out and checked her location. “I’ll see if she’s around, and we can go to our place and soak in the pool. Jesus, she’s at that bar again, the one I went to on the coronation night.” Changing the subject, I lifted an eyebrow and gave Mary a questioning stare. “That’s her third time going there since we arrived here. Is it possible she’s doing things we don't want to think about with the bartender?”
