by Brown, Tara
21
When trying to have a baby, consider where you do it. No one wants to be the kid who was conceived behind that old church.
Famous last words
“That’s the heartbeat.” I smiled wide as Mary’s eyes glistened. Johan beamed, watching the little video I had of the ultrasound.
Linna was speechless and Jess seemed scared. Bea pressed her lips together, fighting tears.
“I can’t believe it! An aunty!” Mary hugged me. “And you’ve announced your engagement!”
“Well, we’ve announced it for the world. We’re not properly engaged in our eyes. But that will happen.” I gazed at the tiny nugget of a person in the video. “That just happened first.”
“Yes, being royal changes things. Protocol.” Her tone told me of course I should have known that. “I wish we’d all seen Mother’s face when she found out.”
“Aiden spoke to her alone. I don't think I’ve fled the country so fast in my life.”
“Which is saying a lot,” Johan joked. “We’ve labeled you the runaway bride. The officials in Toulouse know to call Aiden if you’re spotted, just in case you escape without his knowledge.” He winked but we all knew it was true.
“What about Christmas?” Jess changed the subject.
“I’m coming to France. I told Aiden this changes nothing.” My eyes darted to the ring. “The whole world might revolve around him, but I don't.”
Johan grinned. “Atta girl. I always said you were exactly what my dear brother needed.” He chuckled.
“Like you have it any easier,” Jess remarked, lifting a dark eyebrow.
“Right.” He cleared his throat. “Back to the baby then?”
“You’re an idiot.” Mary rolled her eyes.
“An adorable idiot.” Jess placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Indeed.” Bea poked him.
“How far along are you?” Dee asked, her face betrayed something, a lack of excitement or jealousy perhaps. They had been off the pill for months and hadn’t gotten pregnant yet. I hated that it had been so easy for me. Especially, since she and Mark would make amazing parents and were already in such a stable position.
“Just under three months. I got pregnant mid-September when Aiden came to spread the ashes.”
“At least it wasn't that shag in the basement.” Linna winked, making Johan cringe and Mary cough a high-pitched laugh. Bea laughed aloud and patted me on the arm.
“Anyway.” I scowled at Linna.
“Did they give you a due date?” Dee was the only one to ask me that yet.
“Twentieth of June. Loads of time to finish my last semester.”
“You’re going to graduate here?” Bea chimed in.
“No.” I sighed, hating that one detail. “I’m going to finish in Andorra, distance education of sorts. I have two weeks to finish up my last semester here before Christmas break. It’s a lot to cram in, but I can do it. I also have to give my notice at the Gardens today. Meaning I have to get going.” I pocketed my phone and waved. “I’ll see you guys tonight. I’m craving fried chicken, if anyone feels like convincing the cooks to learn some American food.”
“Fat chance.” Bea scoffed.
“Johan, charm your way into us getting a bucket of chicken. And don't let them tell Aiden. He has some ‘eat the rainbow’ insanity going on, and apparently, I’m not allowed to eat sushi or peanut butter or strawberries. He’s making me crazy.” I pointed at Johan as I headed for the entrance of the parlor and the front door to the castle.
“On it!” he shouted back.
Tracy beamed at me as I met him at the front door. “How are you feeling?”
“Overly managed,” I grumbled as my phone rang. For the tenth time. In five hours. “Hi.” I didn't bother to look at who it was.
“Hi.” He smiled as he spoke, I could hear it in his tone with only that one word. He’d gone from completely panicked to blissfully excited about the baby in a matter of days.
“You have to stop calling. I’m going to the Gardens. I have to work. I’ve been gone for one day, dude. One day.”
“I miss you.” He was pacing, I could hear that in the tone too.
“Stop pacing, get your work done, and stop worrying. I’m fine, honestly. No one is going to abduct me to steal the baby. No one knows about it except the doctors, staff, and friends and family. It’s fine.” He was driving me insane and we had so many months to go.
“Fin, I don't like you being there, so far away from me in your condition.”
“My condition?” That made me smile. “I have obligations and you’re being a stage-four clinger. You need to calm down. Seriously, calm down. You have to get used to the fact I’m a commoner, and I’m going to do majorly basic shit. Even with our kid. Like visit my dad in Spokane and take our child to the mall.” I was tormenting him. Just a little. It was more fun being so far apart.
“You’re not funny,” he warned.
“Whatever. I’m hilarious. And almost late, I gotta go.”
“You’re not the one driving.”
“You don't know,” I teased.
“I’m getting on a plane.”
“Oh my God. You’re at a twelve and I need you at a three. You’re way too stressed about the wrong part of this story. Like, worry about me being a totally shit mom, not riding in cars in the Scottish countryside. With your secret militia guard at the wheel, no less.” I rolled my eyes, though he couldn't see me.
Tracy winked in the rearview.
“I’ll be there in six hours.” He hung up and I sighed, laughing bitterly.
“He’s losing his mind.”
“He’s excited and nervous. I think most men feel this way.” Tracy was trying to normalize the insanity but there was no way. Aiden was going bonkers and he was dragging me with him.
But I couldn't think about that now. I had to give my notice and finish a month’s worth of school in a matter of days.
When we reached the Gardens, my stomach started to tighten. I wouldn’t see them all every week. They wouldn't be part of my normal. I’d have no old people to keep me sane.
“Fin!” Carmen met me at the door. “I have the greatest news on earth—” She paused, tilting her head and squinting at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Your news first,” I insisted.
“I finally met someone and I think he might be it,” she gushed, her eyes widening in excitement.
“No way!” I hugged her. “Dude, this is huge. I mean, I always knew you’d meet someone.”
“Oh tosh. Stop. We both know neither of us thought this would happen. But it has.” She waved me off, blushing.
“How did you meet? One of those chat-a-fish things? Fish for love?”
“No, he’s the new dentist in town. I went to see my dentist and he was filling in for him.” She winked. “Get it.”
“Oh my God.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re making dentist jokes already.”
“Actually, it was his joke. I laughed.” She lightly shoved me with her fingertips.
“’Cause he’s hot.”
“No, because it was funny. Anyway, he asked me for a drink and then dinner. And we’re on date number three this evening. I wanted to tell you last week before you hurried off to Andorra, but you looked so peaky. Is everything all right?” She lost some of her excitement as the mom look crept across her face, the investigating and nosy eyeballing.
“No.” I was honest. “It’s top secret, but I’m moving to Andorra and we’ve announced our—”
“Fin! Soon to be Queen Consort Finley Rey!” Janet rushed from the office and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing too hard. “I watched the announcement three times. I knew you were engaged.” She pulled back and tapped her nose. “Can’t pull the wool over my eyes. That boy has been desperately in love with you from the moment you met. I can tell.” She was way too excited as she lifted my hand and examined the sapphire ring. “When you took it off, I worried. But I suspected it was all a ploy to k
eep the media at bay. Savages.”
“You’re officially engaged!” Carmen shrieked and joined the hug. “Oh, that’s wonderful, my dear. You’re out and official and there is nothing the queen mother can do now to stop you. There’s no going back!”
I hugged them both as the words echoed through my head.
No going back.
Famous last words.
22
Scientists are cloning extinct horses from the permafrost in Russia, but they still can’t get the Lucky Charms marshmallows to go squishy before you run out of cereal.
No going back
“You ready for the onslaught?” Aiden asked as the helicopter landed in Andorra’s winter wonderland.
“Onslaught?” I asked, frightened.
“Mother. The press when they eventually figure out you’re here. Questions from parliament.” He said it all as though it was a joke, but I suspected he was just happy to have us both back on Andorran soil. A place he could control.
“No. Mary said your mother is devastated and flipping out. And Johan didn't want me to come with you. He said it would be too stressful for the baby for me to be around her. That’s a pretty bad sign, my dude.” I lifted an eyebrow at Aiden. “When has Johan ever uttered those words before?”
“My dude?” He wrinkled his nose.
“You know what I mean.” I waved him off.
“I honestly don't,” he groaned. “Come on, my dude.” He chuckled. “We’ll need to get you a translator."
He climbed out of the helicopter and took my hand. He was weirdly careful about how he held my hand and how firm his grip was and ensuring I made it off all right, as if I was now unable to walk on my own. I was ready to strangle him with the hat, or rather toque, Hattie had given me. I’d called it a knitted cap, she’d wrinkled her nose. I suspected it would always be a toque to me now.
He and Tracy led me to a set of stairs. The cold wind of December in the mountains was worse than I recalled it being. Though I hadn’t done a December in Andorra since the coronation. And what a night that had been . . .
“I like the landing pad at the castle better than the other one,” I said as we ducked into the side entrance of the new house, castle, palace, or king’s mansion. Whatever the hell I was supposed to call it.
“Yes, I agree. It’s an improvement. I can have dignitaries flown directly here, avoiding time delays and weather situations. And the dreaded Fin Club can’t get sneaky shots of you entering and leaving.” Aiden wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Welcome home.”
Home?
How strange.
This would now be home.
There was no going back. Carmen had been correct.
My hand drifted to my stomach.
Our new home.
“Are you all right?” Aiden asked, scowling at where my fingers lay.
“Seriously, you have to stop.” I nudged him. “You’re going to get photographed by paparazzi giving me that worried look, and we’ll be the next ones they suspect of a cheating scandal. And we both know who they’ll suspect is the guilty party.” I rolled my eyes at that. I linked my arm in his. “I’m one-hundred-percent fine. I didn't even have morning sickness. Just a loss of appetite and it’s back.”
“Yes, I did notice that last night when you ate an entire plate of spaghetti and meatballs. I take it the bowl diet has died then?”
“Yeah, which means I’m going to get chubby. Hope you can handle all the extra that’s gonna come.” I laughed wickedly, not even kidding.
“I think I can keep up.” He placed a soft kiss on my cheek and escorted me to our suite.
I pulled off my mitts, toque, and boots, stretching my neck after the long trip, before I did a spin to take in the room. The fireplace was going, creating a soft glow about the sitting room. It still baffled me that people had full living rooms in their bedrooms. Sheila had a sitting area in her bedroom, this was something else.
“I’ll be back in a moment. I need to make a couple of calls. If you need me, text and I’ll be back in an instant.” He pressed his lips to the side of my head, sending a text as he did it. He was becoming more of a teenaged girl than I’d ever been.
“You’re going to get carpal tunnel if you keep texting like that.” I smirked.
“I think that ship has sailed.” He smiled back, flexing his fingers and thumb on his way out the door.
As he left, I sat in the chair and stared out the window of the castle, watching the snow fall softly, visible under the lights outside. My mind had stopped racing recently. A peace, one that I’d only felt in Nova Scotia with Hattie, settled over me. I wondered if it was the sea monkey in my stomach causing me to chill out—
“You slut!”
I blinked at the snowy reflection in the window. I’d heard the voice but it was impossible.
“You think you can come in here, trapping my son into marriage with some bastard child?”
It was real.
Shit.
I stood and turned to see the queen mother glaring at me. I checked her hands for swords or knives, but she had nothing beyond her sharp nails. I didn't discount those though. I’d seen a girl-fight with long nails once at the mall back home. It was savage. One girl looked like Wolverine got ahold of her.
“This is disgusting and low, even for you.” She spat her words at me.
“Just because you and that bitch Alex didn't think of it first? Guess it didn’t help that Aiden wouldn't sleep with her,” I mocked her, old me arriving back at the party just in time. “Not that you’re above handing out roofies to someone and making it happen.” I went low, a bit too low, but there was no turning back.
“Why you little—”
“Your words don't matter to me. You are nothing but a lonely, hateful bitch.” Vile words flew from my lips, “And everyone hates—”
“Fin,” Tracy warned from the doorway, scowling with disapproval and earning a horrified look from the queen mother.
“You’re right, Tracy. This isn’t my fight. If you have something to say, say it to Aiden.” I stepped closer to her. “I dare you.”
“Oh she has, Fin.” Aiden stepped into the room, his stormy eyes narrowing on his mother and his tone soft but dangerous, “Did you honestly think my staff could be bought off so you could hide in here to wait for Fin to be alone, and they wouldn’t tell me?” He gave a heavy sigh, clearly tired of these same games. I certainly was. “You will never accept that I love this girl—this woman. And unfortunately for you, you don’t know her at all. Because if you did, you wouldn’t say any of this to her. You would already know getting pregnant out of wedlock at twenty-two is the literal version of hell Fin has worked her entire life to avoid. Her mother made this very mistake and later died young, leaving behind a child no one properly loved until I met her. You would know there is no evil or guile in her heart. She plays a hard game of defense, but she’s all talk. She is a soft-hearted person who has done everything in her power to protect me, from the moment she met me. And once you are in her fold, like my brothers and sister are, she would rather die a thousand deaths or be humiliated beyond repair than allow you to suffer.”
“Aiden—”
“No, Mother. Your time to speak is over. I told you that if you couldn’t be happy for us, then I would see you apart from my family. Because she and my unborn child are my family.” He walked across the expanse to her. “And nothing you do or say will change that. She has my heart and child.”
“Her influence over you is obvious to everyone!” She was grasping. It was sad. An act I’d seen a million times with Sheila.
“Mother, we are done with this conversation. Go home. We will never have this conversation again. And you will never”—he stepped closer to her, leaning in for terrifying effect—“address my child as a bastard again. Is that clear?” He sounded so close to losing his temper. “Is it?” he shouted, making us all flinch. I swore Tracy jumped a bit.
“Yes,” she muttered and left the room, walking as
if her pride was still intact.
“I am so sorry,” he said, turning to me, softening instantly.
“No, it’s cool.” I wasn’t fazed, at least not the way she hoped. “Thanks for sticking up for me.”
“Fin, you’re my heart. No one may speak to you that way. Ever again.” He came to me, taking my hands in his. “And you will be my wife long before this child is born.”
He kissed my forehead, holding me tightly to him.
I understood why we needed to marry now.
As much as I didn't want it, I got it.
23
If something feels off, it’s off. It’s the simplest but best advice I can offer. Trust those ancient instincts. They know.
The engagement
Christmas Day
“This place is friggin’ amazing.” Hattie sighed, eating her second dessert. She’d stopped complaining about the stairs the instant her eyes met the interior of the decadent estate. Wrought iron gates at the front had greeted us, then the glimpse of Palladian architecture. It had been hard to contain the excitement when we saw the house and estate.
Jess had nearly had one of her Jane Austen fits, muttering things about Bingley and marble statues.
The cooks were so good, even Hattie hadn’t strayed into the kitchens except to congratulate them on their efforts.
My room was perfect: a simple French-style oasis of luxury that offered much needed space from Aiden and his family.
I hadn’t told Hattie or Dad about the baby yet, and this was my chance. It was better Aiden wasn't here for it. I wasn't sure how Dad would react, but it was Hattie who worried me. She loved Aiden, but she wanted me to make good choices. Not have babies and forced marriages.
“I love being here. I wish we lived here,” Jess muttered, lying back on the chaise. All of us watched the snow fall softly out the massive window overlooking the front garden as the sun vanished from the sky. When it set, it left a small amount of light on the gray horizon.
