by Anne Martin
He let go of me and crossed his arms, noticing that he didn’t have a shirt on. “Of course not, because I love you. You know that I love you.”
“How long have you been sleeping with my best friend, Daniel?” My voice wasn’t quite level, nope, a little bit hysterical to be perfectly honest. Well, seriously, I’d been feeling guilty for years about keeping him from finding a nice girl. He needed to find a nice girl, not Christina who used to be a nice girl until Sophomore year when she started getting on my case about how it wasn’t fair how I treated him.
He ran a hand through his blond hair. He was so beautiful, so perfect, so completely and utterly fake. No, not fake. He’d been my steady confidante, holding my hand when I was stuck in my bed after horrible treatments that didn’t do any good. I’d been there for him when his dad went all alcoholic and his family fell apart. We were friends because he stayed by me through my worst times, and I’d done my best to make him smile when he was going through his.
“You know what, it’s none of my business,” I said and walked into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my cheek against his pounding heart.
His arms came around me and he held me back. “I’m sorry, Sunshine Ray. I know you don’t approve of casual physical relationships, but I’m only human.”
“I think she loves you, Daniel. How casual can it be?” I squeezed him tighter.
His arms tightened and I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t care. I wanted to die now, right there, before I had to really think and really feel, and really hurt for the lies and the lives I’d messed up.
When he pulled away, he gave me a stiff smile. “I need to put on a shirt. I’ll be right back, okay?”
I shook my head. “I only stopped by to say hi. It’s fine, Daniel. I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. We’ll talk tomorrow.” I turned and walked down the hall clenching and unclenching my fists. There’d been that time I’d walked in on Stina with and some blond guy who I couldn’t see because he’d scrambled under the sheets and Stina had screamed at me all about how fat I looked in pink. Six years ago? Why couldn’t they have told me? Why couldn’t they be together so I could be happy for them? What were they waiting for? They were waiting for me to die. Of course. Daniel had sworn that he’d always wait for me, and he took that kind of thing seriously. Well, sort-of seriously if he’d been banging Stina the whole time. Banging. Daniel. I couldn’t even… He was the person least like that in the world. How many other girls had he been with? I had no idea. It’s like I knew one piece of him but he kept the rest separate so I wouldn’t be disillusioned, so I could safely idolize him.
I rubbed my arms absently as I walked down the hall towards the stairs. I’d have bruises from Daniel. He wasn’t usually quite so rough, but he’d never been as gentle as my strange neighbor in that courtyard.
Nix. I should find him and ask him if he wanted a ride. I should be responsible instead of letting my world fall apart. I’d always wondered what had happened with me and Stina. Now I knew.
The party was far away. I smiled and waved at people, but nothing they said made sense. Nothing seemed real. I grabbed a red cup and started drinking as I wandered around. I saw Lisa and went over to her.
“Hey, do you know where that guy is? Nix?” What a stupid name.
She made a face and gestured out the French doors. He was probably rolling around in the bushes with some girl. I finished my cup and grabbed another one before heading outside.
The yard had a lot of benches tucked out of the way where you could look at the moon and talk, like I’d done with Daniel so many times, or whatever other people did. I should do that, hook up with some random stranger in the bushes. I got to the first bench and sat down. There was a red cup half full of something stronger than beer. I drank it. It was disgusting. Probably mostly whiskey. I was way too messed up to drive home. I curled up on the cold bench with my arm under my head and stared up at the moon.
“Hey, Kitten Princess, Lisa said you were looking for me.”
My idiot neighbor squatted down next to me so he could look into my eyes.
I blinked at him. “I can’t drive. I’m very drunk.”
“That’s fine. I’ve been mostly holding back hair, not drinking.”
“Let’s have casual sex.”
“Sure. I love having casual sex with drunk virgins.” He picked me up and started carrying me across the yard.
“You’re always carrying me. Daniel used to carry me a lot.”
“Did he?”
“He’s sleeping with Stina. She loves him. He never told me.”
“I take it you walked in on them. How awkward.”
I nodded against his leather jacket. “So stiff. Do you wear it for the sexiness?”
“My jacket? I have a motorbike. I keep it in my bedroom. Next time you sleep at my house, I’m sticking you in my bed so you can feel like a casual hook-up without the hook.”
“Why don’t you want to hook up with me? You said I’m pretty.” I said it as a sob because Daniel always said how pretty I was, and his eyes were so sincere and beautiful. I loved his eyes. I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud until he patted my head and swung me into the passenger’s seat of my Camaro.
“His eyes are very pretty. If you’re going to be broken-hearted, he’s definitely a worthy object. Sit up for a second while I buckle you in.”
I straightened and he leaned over me, snapping the buckle in place.
I kissed him because he was right there. The fact that it was his jaw didn’t register until after he pulled back and shook his head.
“You okay, Kitten Princess? Am I safe with you or do I have to worry about you taking my virtue?”
“If you had virtue, where would I take it?”
He grinned at me. “You make a good point. I’m going to recline you. Ready?”
He lowered me back and I felt a little bit sick while he brushed my forehead with his fingers and closed the door.
Chapter 6
Nix Death-Hammer
She didn’t come out of her house for a week. I’d expected her to leave something on my porch wrapped in the blanket I’d put over her when I’d left her sleeping in her car. The paper and the twenty she’d left under the couch cushion now had angel wings and fangs, but she hadn’t tried to return it. It wasn’t like her to give up without a fight.
Daniel came over Saturday morning. He was dressed nice, neat slacks and a pressed button-up that showed his broad shoulders to advantage. I sat on my porch steps with a beer, watching him approach her house.
He pounded on the door, just pounding and pounding and pounding for a solid seven minutes until it finally opened a crack. I walked over all easy, because he’d left bruises on her arms and that wasn’t going to happen again.
She stepped onto the porch. He got out of the way of the long rake she wielded. She had a happy smile, but her eyes were too bright. “Daniel, how’s it going?”
“You texted that we could talk today,” he said, like they were so close, he didn’t have to respond to small-talk.
“Sure. We can talk while I work.” She saw me at that point and for a second terror battled with relief.
“Kitten,” I said and saluted her with my bottle.
She licked her lips and hurried down the porch steps towards me, Daniel close behind. “Hey, neighbor! Thanks for coming over to help me rake leaves.” She started raking between the two of us. Daniel shot me a glower before he edged closer to her, but she was moving quick, pouncing on those leaves like they were the only essential thing in her universe. Such a kitten.
“I’m sorry about Sunday night,” he said.
“I’m not,” she said with a smile. She straightened and leaned on the rake while she gazed at him intently. “You should have told me. I was Stina’s friend first. If I’d known that she liked you, I never would have…” She shook her head and refocused on raking the same spot of grass.
“I am not with Christina. That’s
never going to happen whatever’s between us.” He sounded so certain, also self-righteous. He focused on her with this intensity that was almost chilling in its focus. He loved her and not in a wishy-washy kind of way. That was drop-on-your-knees-and-beg-her-to-marry-you kind of love.
I felt a little bit awkward standing there while they carried on with their drama. What was I doing there?
“Daniel, don’t do this.” Her eyes were pleading. “Just admit that you’re with her so that we can all be happy. I want to be happy for you. All I’ve ever wanted was your happiness.”
His eyes went hard. “As long as I don’t ask for too much.”
“I can’t give you what I don’t have.”
He took two quick steps and had his hands around her waist as he gazed down at her. “Then give me what you do have. Marry me. Fight for us.”
She slapped him. It surprised both of them. Daniel recovered quickly and would have taken her in his arms if I didn’t put my body between them. I drank nice and slow while he pulled back and scowled at me. I lowered my drink and smiled at him.
“That translates as no.”
“What do you care? They said that you brought her to my party. What’s your problem?” That hadn’t been part of his plan, but plans hadn’t ever been my thing.
“I really like you, Daniel. You’re so upright, at least when you aren’t in the back of a car with an old friend, but this, proposing to a girl a week after she caught you with her best friend, it’s just tacky.”
He cocked back to punch me. I stepped towards him so we’d be out of Kitten’s range. I dodged the punch and tackled him down in the leaves.
He pulled back and punched me. He had a solid right. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He rolled over on top of me, grinding his elbow into my stomach. He wasn’t a novice to rolling around with an enemy.
“I know what drunk Kitten thinks about you. She was going to live in the moment with you that night. Instead, she saw her friend and you. Must’ve been a sign.”
His face went livid as he slammed me down. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. She’s not like that, not even with me, especially with me.” He tried to strangle me. He had strong hands, hands that had bruised her.
I was trying to work out how much I should hurt him when she started hitting him with her rake.
“Stop that right now, Daniel Smith! If you’re going to propose to me while carrying on with Christina, we can’t be friends. Stop strangling the neighbor!” The solid thunk of rake handle on Daniel’s head made me almost feel sorry for him.
He untangled from the mess in the leaves and straightened looking wild and dangerous with bright blue eyes that she loved so much. She was right not to marry him. He clearly had anger issues. He didn’t take away the rake and kiss her passionately, he just ran his hands through his hair sending leaf fragments spinning through the air.
“Sunshine Ray Wilson, you’re my best friend. That’s never going to change no matter what else happens. I’m sorry that you found me like that with her. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it doesn’t change anything.”
She glared at him, holding onto that rake until her knuckles went white. “I never took you for a fool, Daniel, but that’s what you are if you can’t see that it changes everything. Get off my lawn!”
He went. As soon as his car turned the corner, she flung down her rake and stalked inside, slamming the door behind her. That much anger probably meant that she still loved him. What she needed was a rebound, someone who didn’t mind being cried on, someone conveniently close and not looking for a commitment.
I smiled as I picked up the rake and finished the job she’d started.
I was making a nice steak on the back porch grill when the sound of a throbbing motorbike filled the evening air. It cut up front. I turned down the grill and headed through the house. She was on the porch by the time I got to the door.
Trixie’s tousled brown hair curled over her black leather jacket.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” I said.
She laughed and walked in past me. “Is that a couch? Looks like you’re getting soft in your old age.”
“It’s a very special couch. It’s a priceless antique.”
She snorted and threw herself down on it, stretching out her long legs. “Do you have a drink?”
“Make yourself comfortable. What can I get you? Martini? Shaken not stirred?” I crossed my arms and stared at her. My steaks were going to burn.
She sat up and frowned at me seriously. “Nix, the team needs you.”
“I’m out.” If I wasn’t out, there wouldn’t be a team.
“But, you’re the best. No one quits in their prime.”
“I’m getting old, Trix. It’s time to grow up, get a nice job with a pension.”
She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. Her lips were the kind made for frantic kissing, all hard and passionate without a shred of sweet or soft. She noticed me looking at her lips and smiled at me, the way you smile when you see someone’s weakness.
She knew me better than that. My own smile was starting to get hard. “I hope you didn’t come all this way to—”
A sudden scream from outside had me running out the front door, Trix a step behind. On the side of the house, an aluminum ladder lay on its side and hanging from the gutter, Kitten Princess held on for dear life. Why would she climb up ladders in a skirt? I went closer to get a better look, at the problem, not her legs. More or less.
“Who is that?” Trix asked, amused and disbelieving.
“Kitten, whatcha doin’, honey?”
She kicked her legs and I saw the hornet’s nest right beside her left elbow. That’s also when I saw the hornet spray in the grass next to the ladder. Ah. She was repaying me for the leaves, maybe for driving her home drunk. I knew she wouldn’t let that slide.
“Brute, do you think you can put up the ladder?” She shrieked again, probably from a hornet sting and then lost her grip and fell down right on top of me.
I caught her and the hornet’s nest. Trix took off running while I rolled on top of my kitten, covering her body with mine so the hornets had to take their anger out on me instead of her. I was such a gentleman. Who would have thought my instincts ran along those lines?
After a few years of being stung, a spray of cold hose water came over us. Trixie was so incredibly helpful. After a few more minutes getting soaked, the hornets had taken off and it was safe to roll off my Kitten Princess.
“Hey there,” I said, grinning at her.
She sat up and winced when she touched the side of my neck. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t supposed to go like that.”
“No, I don’t suppose it ever is.”
She frowned and sniffed. “Is something burning?”
I took off into the back yard to the patio and opened the grill to clouds of black smoke. I slammed it closed and stood there.
She made this sound, a yippy laugh that she quickly squelched. It wasn’t nice to laugh.
I whirled around and raised my eyebrow. “Is something funny?”
She had her hands over her mouth. She shook her head soberly, but her eyes were bright with laughter.
“No?” I took a threatening step towards her.
“Nope,” she said and snickered before she quickly kept her face straight.
“That’s it!” I grabbed her and tickled her ribs. It wasn’t very grab and tickle, more carefully capture and nudge, but she writhed and laughed until she was out of breath and we both smelled like burnt steaks and insecticide.
“I’m heading out,” Trixie said from the side.
I gave her a nod without letting go of Kitten. “Nice you stopped by.”
She smirked and studied me holding her. “I see how it is. I’ll tell Dirk that you’re currently occupied. Not that it’ll last. I’ll give it a month.”
She turned and walked off, all jaunty from torturing me with the hose. That’s the kind of woman she was.
“Who was that?” Kitten asked. She hadn’t realized that she was still in my arms and didn’t belong there.
“We used to work together. She wants me to do a job.”
Her eyes went big and innocent. “Are you a criminal or is she talking about plumbing?”
“I’m not sure which would be more flattering. How are you doing, Kitten?”
She frowned and touched the side of my neck where a hornet had kissed me not so sweetly. “How are you?”
I bumped her forehead gently with mine. “I don’t have a very strong reaction to hornets, so I’ll be fine. How about you? Any allergies I should know about?”
She shook her head. She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again and said, “I’ll make you dinner.”
“Will you?”
“I’ll try not to burn it and everything.”
I nodded and then I kissed her. I was wet, covered in hornet bites and grass, and I wanted to taste her laugh. It was so sweet and delicious. She kissed me back, but hesitant, like she doubted the privacy of our embrace. We needed to hide behind the air conditioner.
I kept it short and didn’t say anything when she pulled away. She pressed her lips together and frowned at me. “What was that for?”
“Fun.”
“It wasn’t part of the deal.”
“No, just part of my outlook, living in the moment.”
She studied me and then smiled, the prettiest smile I’d ever seen. “Catching falling objects, getting attacked by hornets, being hosed down, and burning your dinner, I see how your moments are. You definitely need to relish all of them.”
I brushed her cheek with my fingers. “The bad makes the sweet all the sweeter. Okay, Kitten. I’m going to go put something on my stings while you cook for me.” I kissed her again, quickly before I let her go and went to check out the damage.
By the time I came back, showered, changed, and covered in brown paste, she had dinner laid out on a card table that didn’t come from my house. She’d put a white linen tablecloth on it, and the two metal folding chairs were painted cheery yellow. The steaks were still on the grill, a bowl of green salad on the table. She’d changed into a pretty little sundress. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was courting me into taking her to a church somewhere. I’d seen her turn down Daniel, and it clearly wasn’t the first time.
