by Anne Martin
After I’d loved her as fervently as possible, I lay next to her, feeling almost relaxed.
“Thanksgiving is how long preliminaries would take,” she said, running her finger from my chin down my neck and chest, drawing my lines like I was a picture.
“Preliminaries?”
She shrugged. “March would be a better month to die, and doing the preliminary treatments should give me that, maybe even April. So, I’m thinking about maybe doing that. It shouldn’t affect quality of life too much, then after we get back from Mobile, I can decide whether to go home to Aunt Willie, or do treatments here.”
My heart stopped. “Why wouldn’t you come back here and keep me company until you kick it? Hotel life doesn’t suit you? Maybe you miss your friends.”
She laughed and kissed me. Her big blue eyes stared at me all shy. “I didn’t want to be forward. Don’t you think you’d be tired of me by then?”
“Tired of you, Kitten? I can’t even imagine such a thing.” I kissed her, but she pulled back, frowning seriously.
“Nix, if you feel like I’m in your way, you’ve got to tell me.”
“I will, Kitten Princess. I have no intention of deceiving you about that. I know it’s hard to believe, but I actually like you filling up my time and reminding me that not everyone in the world has an agenda.”
“I have an agenda.”
I pinched her nose. “No, Kitten, you don’t. You have a timetable, but that’s not the same thing. If you want to go stay with Aunt Willie, I get that, but if you don’t mind the company, I’d prefer if you let me fill your time.”
She sank against me. “I’m sorry for making you work so hard to convince me. I really do like this idyllic little love nest. You work while I sleep, and then when you’re home…” She bit her lip and then kissed me.
I kissed her back, so slow, so soft, but before I knew it, there was more than kissing. So, so sweet.
Chapter 13
Sunshine Wilson
Treatments weren’t too bad. I went in to the clinic a few days a week and got hooked up to machines for four or five hours. Besides that, the medicine I had to take, and the incredibly limited diet, it was life as Nix’s temporary wife as usual. The treatments made me tired the day I did them, but I’d feel stronger the day after.
One day after I got back from the clinic, I stopped in the lobby to check for mail. Lisa and I had been mailing each other, and my aunt sent me packages with food I couldn’t eat and extra socks and underwear, just in case they didn’t have proper underwear in Las Vegas.
“Hey, did you drop this?”
I turned and an extremely dangerous looking guy came up to me carrying a pink envelope that was probably from Lisa. “Thank you kindly.”
His lips twitched. “That’s quite the accent. Are you a good little southern girl?”
I lifted my left hand so he could see my ring. “That’s right. If you’ll excuse me…” I put enough ice in my voice he didn’t doubt that I’d be leaving whether he excused me or not.
“Horse, where are you?” The stunning brunette yelled from the doors across the very nice lobby like she was in a pasture. Wait, I knew that girl. Trixie? It was Brute’s friend from work.
The guy I was talking to glanced at her and waved lazily before he turned back to me. “I guess you’ll have to excuse me. If you get tired of being a good girl, just ask around for Horse and—”
“You work with Nix?”
He blinked at me. “That’s right. You know Trixie?”
“Sort of. She hosed us down when we were attacked by hornets.”
His eyebrows rose. “Did she? To be clear, Trixie hosed down you and Nix?”
“That’s right.”
He grinned, an almost nice smile that lacked the edge to it. “I bet he hated that.”
I shrugged. “He didn’t seem to mind so much.”
Trixie broke into the conversation, grabbing Horse’s shirt and pulling him back. “Hey, Kitten. Don’t talk to reprobates like this.”
“Then she couldn’t talk to Nix,” he said, breaking out of her grip and turning a less nice smile on her. “We work in the same business, after all.”
Trix’s eyes narrowed as she glared at him. “Watch yourself.”
“I’d rather watch Kitten.” He turned hard eyes on me and then deliberately and coldly undressed me with his eyes.
I shuddered and turned to walk away from him.
I heard him say to Trixie, amusement lacing his words, “Doesn’t respond like the usual, does she?”
“Come on, Horse, before Nix shows up.”
I got in the elevator and turned around. Horse was still standing there, watching me with his blue eyes. I wasn’t sure what was in them, but it made me feel uncomfortable.
I brought it up with Nix that night over my sautéed vegetables on the patio. “I met Horse today.”
He stopped moving for a second, but that’s all the sign he made of not liking that. “He’s a notorious womanizer. Among other things. Did he make your heart flutter, Kitten? Do you want permission to play with another bad boy?”
I stared at him, my lips curling. “Womanizer, as in some women actually like that kind of thing?”
He laughed and leaned back, balancing on the back legs of his chair. My aunt would tell him that it was going to break. “Some women do. Not you, clearly. You do take some time to warm up to a body. Speaking of warming up a body…” He moved fast, picking me up and carrying me inside like dinner could wait, but he couldn’t. Was he jealous?
I kissed, him drowning in his sweetness. After the loving left me tired and content, he held me tucked up against his chest beneath the pastel streaked duvet.
“Nix, I think you might be a little bit jealous.”
He shifted against me. “Really? Why? Did you like him after all?”
I laughed and shifted against his bare chest. I ran my hands over the contours, the shift from light to shadow. “Like that. It’s sweet. Thanks for caring whether or not I take up with another random stranger.”
He pulled away to frown at me. “We may be temporary, but we’re not fake. As long as we’re doing this, I’ll be a jealous husband. Horse, though, is the worst. He’s almost as bad as me.”
I laughed and pushed away from him. “Excuse me, are you suggesting that you’re something of a womanizer?”
“I’m not suggesting. I don’t pretend that I was ever an angel.”
I stopped smiling. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re…”
He stared at me for a long time before he groaned and threw himself back on the mattress. “I’m not touching another female until we’re finished.”
“But, do you want to? I mean if you’re habitually jumping from woman to woman like some kind of horny toad, it must be difficult to transition into some kind of semblance of decent humanity.”
He got a funny look on his face. “Wow, Kitten. Is this you mean? It is. Kinda cute, kinda scary. I think you’re the one who’s jealous.” He took my face in his hands and kissed me real slow and sweet. “Honey, I was tired of the jumping frog life before I met you. Trust me, if I changed my mind, I’d let you know. It would be for you to decide if you want to stay with the kind of guy who messes around on the side.”
I blinked at him. “You’d want me to stay with you even if you were tired of me?”
“Not tired of you, not possible, just tired of only you. And no, I don’t see it happening on our timeline. Why are we talking about this?”
“Because you got all weird about Horse.” I studied him for a long time. “Nix, I’m sorry. You’re right. When you said that you were a worse womanizer than Horse, I got jealous. I think, no, I know that I’m kind of possessive of you. You don’t have to do any bedroom scenes as a stunt double, do you?”
He laughed and gave me a quick hug before he pulled back and shook his head. “Absolutely no bedroom scenes. Those aren’t the kinds of stunts I’ve ever filmed. All right, if you can admit it, I guess I can. I
don’t want to see you with anyone else who has a reputation as a rock star in bed.”
I blinked at him. “Horse is a rock star in bed?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “So they say. I don’t personally know, but his name’s not from equestrian sport.”
I giggled. “And your name Hammer…”
“My Yankee father’s last name was Hammer. I can’t guarantee it didn’t originally come from some kind of lurid gigolo ancestor, but who knows. Ah, Kitten, this whole thing is new to me, jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, no wonder I stayed away from serious relationships for so long. Oh well, I’m sure it’s good for me.”
He winked at me and then got out of bed. I watched him walk across the room completely naked. He didn’t usually walk around like that and I felt like I shouldn’t watch the muscles play beneath his tan skin, but it was so beautiful. I grabbed my sketchpad and did several gesture drawings until he noticed me and stood, holding his beer, buck naked. He was tan all over.
“It’s no wonder I’m jealous and suspicious. Heavens, look at you. You really are sinfully delicious. Daddy Death-Hammer…” I batted my eyes at him. He didn’t finish his drink before he was back in bed with me, showing me exactly how sinfully delicious he could be.
The days passed almost normally. I saw Horse a few times. He’d nod at me and I’d pretend I didn’t see him. He got a kick out of that for some reason. One night, Early November which was still hot and dry, I woke up alone. I didn’t usually wake up for hours. It must be my medication messing things up. I reached out for Nix, but only found a note on his pillow. I turned on the light.
Work came up. I’ll be back around 2.
He’d left a little devil face and hooked tail like that was going to make me feel better. I got up, wrapped a silk robe around me and started pacing. He got in at one forty-seven. He had his eyebrow taped, and his eye was swollen.
“Kitten, what are you doing up?” He spoke kind of roughly through his swollen mouth.
I ran to him and started examining his injuries. “What happened to you? Did you get in a fight?”
“Naw, just fell.” He kissed my fingers when they came close to his mouth.
“You fell? At least you don’t smell like anyone’s perfume.”
He grinned at me. Was one of his teeth crooked? “I kind of like jealous Kitten. Got claws. Didn’t you see my note?”
“Work called? That’s supposed to make me not worry? What kind of work comes up at midnight?”
He pulled me against his chest. “Night scene, leaping from rooftop to rooftop. I slipped. I know it looks bad, but I was only scraped on the tiles. I hit the trampoline at the bottom so no broken bones.”
I held him so tight, I wasn’t sure why. “I don’t like you getting hurt. Makes me want to go out there and beat up the roof.”
He laughed. “I like you being up, worrying about me. Thing is, I’ve got work in the morning, so if you don’t mind moving to this conversation to the bed, I’d appreciate it.”
I pulled away, scowled at him then turned and dragged him to the bed. “Oh, you’re coming to bed, alright, and you’re not leaving until I say so.”
He was very obliging.
My treatments went along very well, and by Thanksgiving, I met with Doctor Fuller in her airy office overlooking a nice courtyard with fountain. There were a few patients out there, all of them wearing bland beige gowns that hung on their emaciated frames.
“Have you considered whether or not you want to go forward with this, Sunshine?” Doctor Fuller asked with a nice smile. Her glasses reflected the light so I couldn’t see her eyes. I felt like I could never really tell what she was thinking behind her professional mask.
“I’m still thinking about it,” I said, folding my hands in my lap. I did feel better than I had when I started coming. I had a lot more energy which I mostly spent in bed with Nix. He didn’t seem to mind. He was getting more and more tense the closer we got to Thanksgiving. I wasn’t sure why he wanted to go visit his mother when he was so terrified.
“Well,” she said, standing up and giving me her professional smile. “Enjoy your Thanksgiving trip and when you come back, we’ll discuss things.”
“Thank you,” I said, turning to the door. I paused. I hadn’t mentioned my trip to her. “Do you think the trip to Europe won’t be too far for me?”
“Europe? I thought you were going to Mobile.”
I gripped the handle tighter. My stomach tangled before I turned to face her. “Why would I go to Mobile?”
For a second I saw her eyes, something like guilt and anxiety as she scrambled to cover her behind. “Your aunt mentioned something about seeing your husband’s family.”
“Funny. I didn’t tell her about that.” Who had I told? No one but Nix. I licked my lips. “Why are you talking to my husband?”
She blinked rapidly. “I wanted to make certain he was supporting you in your treatment.”
“And is he?” I walked over to her and held out my hand.
“Excuse me?” She really looked way too guilty.
“I want to see my paperwork. I have a right to see it. All of it including the grant that’s paying for my treatment.”
She frowned at me. “Sunshine, you don’t need to worry about this.”
“Of course I don’t. But I want to. If you would be so kind…”
She went to her computer and after a few minutes, the printer started whirring as pages and pages came out of it. She gathered it into a folder muttering about rainforests.
She held it out but didn’t let go when I tried to take it. “Sunshine, there are reasons he did this.”
I yanked it out of her hand. “There are always reasons. Afternoon, doctor.” I turned and left the clinic, heart pounding so fast, I had to stop and sit down at the first fountain. I went through the paperwork. It took me awhile to get a handle on it, but the gist was that my husband had paid over three million dollars for the preliminary treatments and would pay for the rest, listing bank accounts and property as collateral. There was a Las Vegas address there, no, there were two.
I gathered myself together and went to my car, absently wiping tears away as I went. I drove too fast, and took a wrong turn or two until I came up to an enormous warehouse surrounded by chain-link fence. Guards walked around the perimeter, and there was a serious gate up front. I kept driving, aimlessly, feeling so much I had no idea what to say. I was at a stoplight when I looked up and saw a blazing sign. “Death-Hammer cage fight midnight tonight!”
I stared at that sign until a car honked behind me. I jerked forward while my heart pounded and my breath came short. It was only a few streets from our hotel and the suite we stayed in that probably wasn’t discounted from his friend. I sat in my car for a long time, just breathing while my mind raced.
I got out and headed inside. I didn’t go straight up to my room, instead I headed to the bar where I’d seen Horse linger.
He was there, at the bar with a split lip. I sat down next to him and ordered water.
“Water? Does Nix know where you are?” he asked, leaning his elbow on the counter while he did that thing where he undressed me with his eyes. I held the file folder in front of my chest.
“Could you not do that? Pretend to be decent for a few minutes of my time, if you please.”
He raised his eyebrows. “If I pleased, I’d have you indecent for a few minutes, no, a few hours would be better.”
I glared at him. “Are you finished with the vulgarity? Are you a cage fighter?”
He blinked at me. “I’m never finished with vulgarity, and yes, I am a fighter, sometimes in a cage, sometimes elsewhere. You know that I work in the same business as Nix.”
“Death-Hammer.”
He nodded. “You don’t look like an expensive girl, but he’s racking up the cash for something. He’s getting worn out. Maybe you should lessen your demands on him until he recovers. You know what happens when you kill the golden goose.”
I stood
up, gripping the folder so tight my hands turned white. “He stops lying to you.” I whirled around but he stopped me, his hand on my arm. His touch wasn’t gentle and soft like Nix’s always was. He pulled me back around.
“He didn’t tell you that he earned his money with his blood? You thought he came from some white castle on a hill so he didn’t have to actually get his hands dirty? Poor Kitten, having to spend his dirty money. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the idea. Women always do.”
I slapped him. Hard. My palm stung as I glared at him. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that! My impression was that Nix Hammer was a hard worker of moderate means. I neither asked for nor wanted a penny from him. No. No. No. No. No.” I sat back down because breathing was getting really rough.
“Seriously, you married someone without doing a background check? You’re so charmingly old-fashioned. I should warn you that I like being slapped around. Gets me excited. If you don’t want me to take you against the bar, you should probably keep your hands to yourself.”
I straightened up and stared at him. His eyes were doing that thing, the undressing thing again. I shuddered and got up, walking out of the bar like the whole world had ended. Hadn’t it? I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t tell anything.
When I got to the room, I climbed in bed with my clothes on, but I couldn’t sleep. After a long time like that, I got up, tucked the folder inside a drawer and took a shower. That’s where I was when Nix came home.
He came in the shower like he belonged there. If he noticed my stiffness, he didn’t say anything. I turned to him and kissed him hard and frenzied. He picked me up and leaned me against the wall, every kiss, every touch calming me down. Surely he had a reason for what he’d done, and it wasn’t the reason Daniel would have had.
After loving me in the shower, we went out for dinner, at that Mexican place he liked so much.
“You all right, Kitten?” he asked after a long time of silence.
“I’m thinking about whether or not to keep doing treatments.”
