by Dean Murray
Chapter 19
It seemed like the old karmic scale was still going strong and trying very hard to make up for how great Les Misérables had been. We finally arrived in town after way too many hours of driving and then I had to wait for Mom to come pick me up.
The last chaperon had been about five minutes from throwing in the towel and just taking me home herself by the time Mom finally pulled into the school parking lot. Mom hadn't even apologized. She'd mumbled something about needing to hit one of her 'close' sites while the moon was still high in the sky as she dropped me off at home and then drove off without looking back.
I'd just managed to drop off into a fitful sleep when she came back home and ruined any chance of me catching up on the sleep I'd missed because of the trip. I'd never been able to go back to sleep after being woken up in the morning, but I tried anyways. By the time I finally gave up and got out of bed I was not a happy camper.
I was even less so by the time Mom finally woke up. Rachel not having been at Les Misérables had been preying on my mind the whole time I'd been studying, and since Brandon wouldn't work for girl talk, I needed to hash it all out with my mom.
Only she was so far gone, getting anything out of her was all but impossible. She interrupted partway through my description of what'd happened to ask if I'd noticed when the light outside my bedroom had stopped working. As if I cared when some stupid bulb burned out.
I tried for another fifteen minutes, but once her mind started focusing on a new project, anything less than the domestic version of a tactical nuke had effectively zero chance of catching her attention.
Apparently someone decided that having my mom completely ignore me in my moment of need was going a little too far on the divine retribution. In an effort to try and balance things out the dream angels granted me another vivid dream on Sunday night. It was wonderful. I got to swim around in the most glorious pond known to man. I was somehow faster than normal, and spent what seemed like hours chasing around slivers of light that turned out to be some kind of long, thin fish.
For perhaps the first time in my entire life I didn't mind at all that I'd ended up in a swimsuit so small I might as well have been wearing nothing at all. In fact, the feel of the warm water sliding past my skin was so incredible I almost considered skinny dipping. Of course that'd only lasted for about a nanosecond. Even in a dream, there were things that were just too scary to really entertain.
The dream lasted longer than any of the others before it, but even so it eventually lapsed into a normal, boring dream. Still, I woke up feeling more refreshed and rested than any other time I could remember.
Even more amazing, the feeling was strong enough to carry me through Biology and Mrs. Sorenson's relentless grilling. I did better than expected, but still not as well as I'd hoped. Not considering how much time I'd spent studying. It was like she knew exactly which parts I didn't understand completely, and after letting me start to get a little bit of false confidence, she'd hammer me down again.
Talk about depressing. Still, I was feeling well-prepared for my English test tomorrow and Algebra flew by. By my latest calculations I was only about two weeks from being all caught up.
Lunch was interesting. I was still the odd man out, but it was amusing watching Vincent preen. I never did figure out what it was he'd done, but apparently it had him thinking he was even more of a stud than normal. Whatever it was, it had Brandon pissed, which was a refreshing change. If he had to be friends with some of these people out of responsibility, that was one thing, but letting them continue to be jerks was taking it too far.
Nobody was more surprised than me when Brandon pushed back from the table, scanned the room, and then pulled me to my feet. We spent the rest of lunch pacing around the outside of the school while he worked through whatever was bothering him. When the warning bell finally rang, he turned and looked at me with a considering smile. We stood like that for a good thirty seconds before he reached a single finger up and traced the left side of my face as he leaned in slightly.
It was simultaneously the scariest and most exciting thing I'd ever experienced. Even as I leaned in a little bit myself, my thundering heart seemed to be trying to leap out of my throat solely for the purpose of disrupting what looked very much like it was going to be my first kiss.
Every tiny hair on my body stood up in a shiver of nervousness as he tilted his head to the side, and then he broke off, shaking himself slightly as he gave me a smile.
For a second I thought he was rejecting me, that he'd decided not to kiss me because he wasn't interested. Only the way he reached out for my hand indicated that he really wasn't repulsed by me. It bothered me the entire time I was in History, and then just before I got to Physics it hit me.
He hadn't stopped because he didn't want to kiss me. He stopped because with all of my blushing and near-terror it'd been obvious I wasn't ready to be kissed. It was the ultimate act of chivalry. I more or less floated through my last two classes.
It wasn't until I finally got to tutoring that I started to put more stock in the idea that Rachel had simply chosen not to go to Les Misérables. She looked up, and then away guiltily as I walked in. There wasn't a trace of smile or greeting on her face, an abnormality that hit me hard somewhere in the region of my stomach.
Albert stopped by to say hi, and I used his presence as a distraction.
"It sounds like you're almost caught up."
"Yeah, finally. I've got another two weeks or so, but then I'll be all done with this whole triple math homework garbage."
Albert smiled, and for the first time I noticed how genuine his expressions were. It was almost like he was a different person when he wasn't concentrating on explaining some particularly stubborn math problem to one of the slower students. You know, the ones who still didn't understand why anyone needed to know their multiplication tables.
"And here I had such high hopes for you becoming a true math geek. Granted, you've shown pretty mediocre progress so far. I don't think I've once seen you skip a meal just so you could graph out some new function. Also you've evidenced no inclination to check out old textbooks from the library in an effort to edge out your competition at the next math bowl. Still, I had hoped. I mean being a tutor and all, it seemed like a given."
I stuck out my tongue. "Please, like you really do any of those things. I in fact happen to know that you're in a band that performs occasionally down in Vegas, so don't go trying to pull a fast one on me."
Albert looked genuinely startled, but recovered quickly.
"Hey there, idle, profoundly-untrue comments dropped by Mrs. Campbell in passing conversation don't count. I'm absolutely not a member of Fatal Angst."
"Yes, you are, at least you are until I either decide to dispose of your body, or let your little secret out of the bag because you're not doing your job."
I hadn't heard Mrs. Campbell approach from behind me, and for a second worried she was really angry, but the way Albert chuckled as he cringed in mock fear alleviated my concerns. Albert pushed his glasses a little ways back up his nose, and then wandered off to help the next person with a red card face up on their desk.
The number of people who proceeded to come into the tutoring lab was nothing less than amazing. Based on overheard conversations, it sounded like there was a perfect storm of tests. Both of the other math teachers were apparently having tests in every single one of their classes, and Mrs. Campbell was having tests in a couple of hers as well.
The resulting number of questions kept us all jumping. I started work half an hour early, and Albert, Peter and Mrs. Campbell all stayed an extra forty-five minutes.
I was helping out an undersized freshman who was having a really hard time understanding the fundamental concepts of the unit she was going to be tested over tomorrow when Mrs. Campbell stopped by. "We're all done. Wait until the end of your normal shift, and then go home. If anyone complains feel free to suggest that they don't leave it until the last minute next time."<
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There was plenty of grumbling when I announced that the lab was over, but nobody actually said anything. Rachel was waiting for me at the door as everyone else filed out. She looked up guiltily as I made my way over to her.
"Did you have a good day? I haven't seen that many people here ever."
If there was one thing that'd always pissed me off, it was people who refused to own up to their mistakes. In my mind not being where you said you were going to be, especially after being so jazzed about it previously, fit into that category. Rachel wasn't making a good start.
"Why don't we cut to the chase, Rachel? You didn't go to Les Misérables. We spent more than a week planning what we were going to do on the way up and the way back, and you didn't bother to show up."
Rachel's mouth opened and closed a few times. She looked around, but we weren't the only two people in the room. James was barely visible pacing up and down the far end of the hall, so there wasn't any help there either.
"I'm sorry, I really wanted to go. More than anything, but I couldn't."
"That's it? You aren't going to give any kind of real reason? I guess I should at least be glad you aren't going to lie to me. Unless you really didn't ever want to go, and were lying to me all along."
Rachel shrank in on herself a little. It almost looked like she was going to cry, which should have made me feel bad, but I was too mad to care. I'd been miserable the whole way there, and especially the whole way back, and then she wanted to just pretend like none of it had happened.
Rachel's lip trembled slightly as she finally managed to get a response out. "This isn't like you. Why are you doing this?"
Cindi used to do the exact same thing. Her 'woe is me, I don't understand what is happening act' had usually worked with Dad, and it'd always infuriated me. It had much the same effect now.
"This isn't like me? To stand up for myself when I find out who my real friends are? Please, you don't even know me, and apparently I don't know you."
Rachel shook her head in denial. "No, this isn't you. Is Brandon putting you up to this? He isn't what you think, you really shouldn't trust him."
Now she'd gone too far.
"Brandon didn't put me up to anything. Unlike you, I can actually think for myself. I don't know what kind of sick hold Alec has over you, but until you do something about it, you'll never have any real friends. He won't ever let you have one."
She wiped away a pair of tears before they could escape from the corner of her eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about, Adri. You really can't trust Brandon. He's not safe."
"Whatever. Like your brother is any better."
I turned and went out through the exterior door. I was all the way out to the parking lot before I realized that I didn't have a way home. I was still trying to figure out what to do, when I heard the deep roar of a high-performance engine.
Brandon was clear over at the other end of the parking lot, but somehow he saw me and flipped his car around.
"You're looking just a little stranded."
"That obvious?"
His smile was just as radiant and reassuring as always. "Only to someone who happens to know your entire schedule, and who just saw what looked like Rachel and James leave without you."
It was my turn to try and hide a trembling lip as I responded. "Rachel and I had a fight."
Brandon turned his stereo down and motioned me around to the passenger seat. "You okay?"
I managed a smile. "Yeah, I'll be okay. It was just a really bad fight. I've never said those kinds of things to anyone. I don't think there's any going back. She has to hate me."
Brandon shook his head and flashed another of his winning smiles, albeit one with an overtone of sympathy. "I'm sure it isn't as bad as that."
I wanted to disagree, to go into detail about why my life had just taken a turn for the worse, but something about his manner was suddenly distant. I thought about calling him out on it, but with my life suddenly looking like I was all but friendless, that didn't seem like such a good idea. Without really meaning to I'd managed to alienate just about everyone at school.
Brandon already had plenty of reasons not to be with me, it was the height of stupidity to give him any more. I could probably deal with not having a boyfriend, even assuming that was what we were right now. Going half a year without anyone to talk to because my mom was wrapped up with her art and everyone else in the town thought I was stuck-up would be more than I could take.
The thought was enough to leave me speechless for the entire drive home. Brandon seemed content to leave me alone with my thoughts as he sped around the various turns at speeds that normally would've made me protest.
As I went to leave the car, he grabbed me by my back pocket, which nearly made me shriek in surprise. "Hey, you know what you need to put all this in perspective?"
"No, but then I think it's more than just a matter of my perspective being off." My fear of alienating him had almost vanished in the rush of indignation over how he'd grabbed me. I wanted to say something even more snarky, but there was just enough worry left to curb my tongue. Mostly.
"You need to come to the party Friday night."
"You mean the monthly kegger?"
Brandon shook his head, still flashing the grin that made it almost impossible to remain mad at him. "No, the monthly full moon 'kegger' happened last weekend. This is just a party to blow off some steam. We have them sometimes to celebrate things."
"Like what?"
Brandon shook his head as he pulled me back down into my seat. "Nope, if you want to find out, you'll have to come to it with me."
"You know, I don't usually leave conversations midway through. You really can let go of me."
"Maybe, but I'm enjoying holding onto you."
I forcefully removed his hand as I shook my head. "Boys. You're all the same. Okay. Assuming my mom takes off for the night, I'll go, but only on the condition that you behave."
I managed to make it to the door without my knees knocking together, but it was a close thing. I'd been scared sick when he'd been about to kiss me, but it had at least been something I'd been dreaming about off and on for years. I wasn't sure I was ready for the other things he was starting to imply.
