“Celia. She’s at an event on Wednesday and Darcy is going to bump into her. And then Celia will know who she is,” Kim explained when Darcy remained silent.
Rose sat beside Darcy. “I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. You’re wasting your time.”
“Thank you for your valued opinion,” Darcy snarked.
“Seriously. You’re going to get old waiting for her to even look at you. There are plenty of fish in the sea,” Rose said.
Darcy completed purchasing her ticket for the event on Wednesday and lowered her phone.
“Actually, there aren’t plenty of fish in the sea. Being a gay woman, looking for another gay woman, is hard. I know we work with primarily gay or bi women, but the rest of London, the rest of Britain, is predominantly straight. So, finding a woman who you’re interested in is bloody hard work for most gay women. But for me, someone who doesn’t fit in anyway, it’s impossible. How many gay women do you know who love opera? Who spend their evenings reading Virginia Woolf or practicing cello? For me to find someone who shares my interests, who is also gay, is like striking gold while buying the winning lottery ticket.”
Rose looked at her blankly. “You really spend your evenings reading Virginia Woolf?”
Darcy rolled her eyes.
Kim returned to the table with a freshly brewed cup of tea. “I get what you’re saying. But Celia… she’s…”
“Old,” Rose supplied.
“Well, yeah,” Kim agreed. “I mean, I’ve seen bigger age gaps, but… I just don’t get it.”
Darcy closed her eyes and counted to five. She opened them and took a deep breath. She knew her colleagues had been dying to have this conversation for months. She didn’t usually explain herself, but they were helping her in her possibly futile quest to spend more, or any, time with Celia. So, she supposed they deserved an honest reply.
“When I first saw her, she’d spent the morning at the Tate Modern. She made a joke to Helen about one of the installations, which I overheard because I was in reception at the time. It was subtle, thought-provoking, and elegant. The next time I saw her, she was on the phone to her friend speaking about the latest run of La traviata at the English National Opera. She spoke about it as if she were composing wedding vows.”
She opened her water bottle and took a sip.
“Since then I’ve learnt so much about her. She’s on the board of directors for three charities, charities that I have always admired. She has a house in the south of France, literally ten miles away from where my grandfather’s house is. Her favourite meal is beef bourguignon, same as me. She played the piano at a friend’s wedding because she is so accomplished at it, it’s on YouTube and it’s…” She let out a sigh at the memory. “It’s beautiful.”
Darcy sucked in a gulp of air. The truth was hurtful, but she was big enough to admit it. “I know she doesn’t know who I am. If she has any idea at all, I’m the ‘girl in Fiona’s team’. She probably sees me as a child. But I see her as… the only person I could ever really love. It’s not a crush. I mean, I can see that she’s an extremely attractive woman, I’m not blind. But it’s not looks and money. It’s her interests, her passions, her mind.”
Kim grabbed her arm and leaned her head against her shoulder. “Naww, that is so cute!”
“That is kinda cute,” Rose admitted.
“Yes, well, now you know.” She leaned her head on Kim’s. “Thank you both for helping me, even if you do think it’s ridiculous.”
“I don’t think it’s ridiculous,” Rose clarified. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Kim sat up. “Same. I don’t want you to get your heart broken.”
Darcy was sensible enough to know that was probably where things were heading. But she couldn’t help herself. She was in love. She had to do whatever she could to try to get Celia to see her. If she didn’t try, she’d never forgive herself.
Thankfully, Chloe chose that moment to enter the kitchen.
“Yay, you made it.” Kim pulled out a chair. “Come and take a seat with us cool kids.”
“I don’t think cool kids call themselves cool kids,” Darcy pointed out.
Kim ignored her. “How’s your first day going?”
Chloe sat down and unpacked a shop-bought salad and an orange juice.
“Yeah, it’s going well,” she said. “I got my laptop set up, filled in a million forms. Haven’t actually done any work yet, but Natasha’s not really given me anything to do.”
“You need to tell her, repeatedly, that she has to train you and give you tasks,” Darcy explained. “Or she’ll treat you like decoration and then wonder why her workload isn’t going down.”
Chloe ripped open her salad. “Yeah, I’m going to bug her this afternoon. Luckily, I used a lot of the same systems in my previous job, so the learning curve should be pretty easy.”
“Cool, you’ll pick it all up quickly then,” Kim said. “And if you have any questions you can always ask us.”
“Just don’t leave,” Rose said. “This place desperately needs to be more digital. I swear Pippa would get rid of the app and social media if she ever got her way.”
Chloe chuckled. “I’ve been wanting to work at Honey for years; I won’t leave unless they kick me out. As long as I don’t mess up for the next three months, you’re stuck with me.”
Kim wrapped her hands around her mug and leaned back in her chair. “I suppose we should update you on all the office gossip. So, as you already know, Natasha is a little… weird. She’s nice enough, but she’s hard work.”
“We’ve all tried to be friends with her, but she doesn’t want to socialise with any of us,” Rose added.
“I didn’t want to socialise with these two either,” Darcy joked. “I had no choice.”
Rose gently elbowed her. “You love us really.”
Darcy smiled. She did. Becoming friends with Rose and Kim was one of the best things she’d ever done.
“So, Kim is dating Lucy,” Rose announced. “Honey doesn’t mind employees getting together, as long as they leave any drama at home.”
Chloe looked confused. “Lucy?”
“Advertising manager,” Darcy supplied. “Sits next to Fiona, who is the marketing manager.”
“Oh yes. Sorry, I’m terrible at names. I’ll get there in the end,” Chloe apologised. “So, you and Lucy, that’s cool.”
Kim blushed and looked down at her tea. Darcy felt jealous that Kim’s blush was easily absorbed by her dark skin. Her own blush could be used to guide aircraft down.
“And Darcy’s head over heels in love with Celia,” Rose added.
Darcy kicked her under the table.
Chloe laughed as Rose jumped a couple of inches in the air. “Who’s Celia again?”
“She’s our non-exec director,” Kim added. “I think I already told you to avoid Pippa?”
Chloe nodded seriously. “Yeah, I’ve heard that from a few people. Tess introduced me to her, she looks…”
“Grumpy?” Kim guessed.
“Miserable?” Darcy asked.
“Fucking terrifying,” Rose added.
“Yeah, all three,” Chloe confessed.
“You shouldn’t have much contact with her,” Darcy said. “She doesn’t like digital things, or anything that’s new and modern. So, hopefully she’ll leave you alone.”
“Yeah,” Kim agreed. “Who else? Well, my boss, the boss, Helen…”
“Helen’s cool. She’s going through a divorce at the moment, so she’s a bit stressed at times,” Rose divulged.
“But she’s really nice,” Kim added.
“You would say that, she’s your boss,” Rose pointed out.
Darcy realised that they sounded like terrible gossips and were only dragging up people’s dirty laundry. “Tess and Wendy are very nice,” she said, trying to add an air of positivity to proceedings.
“Yes, Tess seems really nice,” Chloe agreed. “And Wendy, too.”
“I hope everyone st
ays,” Rose said. “You know, considering the fi—”
Darcy kicked her teammate again. She smiled sweetly at Rose, trying to convey that telling the new girl about the failing magazine was probably not wise. Especially if she wanted the new girl to stay.
“Considering the fact that salaries are so low,” Kim added with a smile.
“Exactly,” Rose added.
Chloe looked at the three of them with a smile that didn’t quite have Darcy believing it. It had been a strange morning. Darcy wouldn’t be at all surprised if Chloe was already attuned to the atmosphere that had pervaded Honey. But for the meantime, she seemed happy enough to smile and nod at them.
Give her time, Darcy thought. If she’s smart, she’ll figure things out for herself.
Chapter Ten
Kim stared at her screen. The shared calendar wasn’t helping her provide a small window for Helen to say hello to Chloe. She reached for a piece of chocolate and popped it in her mouth.
She groaned at the sweet taste and shifted happily in her seat. Her job could be pretty stressful at times. She knew that soothing herself with sweet treats wasn’t the healthiest way to cope, but it was certainly the most enjoyable.
Something caught her eye and she looked up. Helen was passing her desk, bag in hand and summer coat draped over her arm.
“Are you going out?” Kim asked. She looked again at Helen’s schedule. She was supposed to be in all day. Busy, but in the office.
Helen paused and turned back to face Kim. “Yes, I have that meeting with Tom about the print changes. Did you need me for something?”
“It isn’t in your calendar.” Kim looked up at Helen.
Helen bit her lip. “Oh, yes.” She smiled sheepishly. “It was moved from tomorrow to today. He emailed me yesterday, I thought I updated the appointment. Clearly, I didn’t.”
If Helen controlled her own calendar, nothing would ever be noted down. And she’d forever be double-booked.
“Sorry, Kim,” Helen apologised. “It has to be today. Have I caused disaster?”
Kim’s lips curled into a smile. “Not quite. I’ll move your afternoon appointments around. I was just looking at your schedule to see when you had five minutes to say hello to Chloe.”
Helen frowned. “Chloe?”
Kim raised an eyebrow and stared at her forgetful boss. She wasn’t going to remind her, she’d get there in the end.
The penny dropped, and she snapped her fingers. “Oh, new girl. Chloe. Yes, Chloe.” Helen turned around and looked at the main office. “I’ll say hello to her now, that will be that done.”
“Okay. I’ll sort out your schedule for today and I’ll leave remembering that Chloe exists and saying hello to her to you,” Kim said.
“Chloe…” Helen said distractedly. “I’m going to have to remember that.”
She walked off to say hello to her newest employee. Kim sighed and shook her head. How Helen managed to run the company was sometimes a mystery.
She was an excellent editor, a fantastic journalist, and a legendary LGBT+ rights activist. But how she remembered people’s names, where she lived, or whether she’d eaten was a total mystery.
It wasn’t that she didn’t care about people. You didn’t take an underpaid job at a struggling lesbian magazine when you could be making five times as much elsewhere if you didn’t care. Helen just always seemed to be thinking of fifty things at once. Details like remembering to eat lunch or go home were irrelevant to her.
Kim’s predecessor had told her that Helen needed someone who was mix between a personal assistant and a carer. Kim had laughed, but on from the first day she had realised it was true.
Helen may have been her boss, but in many ways, Kim felt like Helen’s mum. Despite being eighteen years her junior.
She reached for another piece of chocolate and watched as Helen weaved her way through the office. She approached Chloe’s desk from behind. Chloe jumped out of her seat as Helen said hello.
They spoke for a few moments. Helen seemed to do most of the talking while Chloe nodded, her face red and a look of mild panic about her.
Must be nerves, Kim thought. While she never thought of Helen as particularly scary, she was the boss.
After a few moments, Helen stepped away and waved goodbye to everyone for the day and left the office.
Kim set to work rearranging Helen’s afternoon appointments. It wasn’t the first time she had had to throw out a whole afternoon’s worth of meetings. And it wouldn’t be the last.
From day one, Kim had access to Helen’s calendar and her email account. The idea being that it would allow Kim to manage Helen’s time and keep up to date with where she was and when. But Kim didn’t always feel comfortable looking at Helen’s emails, especially lately with the divorce happening. Spiteful emails from Helen’s ex and financial information from her legal team were things that Kim wanted to avoid.
Kim had explained early on, and Helen had immediately understood. She explained that she’d do her best to keep her calendar up to date, but it was likely, probable even, that she’d fail from time to time. In those instances, Kim had her blessing to go into her email account and correct whatever appointments she needed to.
She trusted Kim and Kim was grateful to have that trust.
Of course, it didn’t help that Helen approached technology like a toddler confronted with a snarling dog. She stabbed in confusion at buttons on her smartphone screen and had only recently mastered the swipe action needed to answer a call.
Kim opened Helen’s email and immediately found a few meeting requests that Helen had failed to deal with. She reached for another piece of chocolate. When she couldn’t see her toes anymore, she would blame Helen.
She started to move meetings around, adding in the ones that Helen had ignored or attempted and failed to deal with. She moved around internal meetings to accommodate things, waiting for Pippa to start shouting at the last-minute changes. Kim thought she would be used to it by now. Everyone knew that if you had a meeting booked in with Helen, it was about a fifty-fifty chance it would go ahead.
She was about to click out of Helen’s emails when she noticed a new email arrive. It was from Christine and the subject line caused Kim’s heart to stop for a split second.
Headcount
She paused her movements. Her mouth went dry as she debated what to do. Christine wasn’t emailing to ask how many people worked at Honey, she knew that already. There was only one reason Christine would email about headcount: to reduce it. There was interesting information within that email, Kim just knew it.
She stretched a little higher and looked over her monitor. No one was looking at her. She lowered back down again.
She tugged at her lip. Just because no one was looking at her didn’t mean it was right. It was clearly an email that Kim shouldn’t see. It was marked private with the pointless little red exclamation mark that did nothing to protect it from prying eyes.
Kim swallowed. She’d never thought of herself as prying eyes before. She sat up again, the coast was still clear. She had to know. Her hand was moving the mouse before her brain really had time to think about what she was doing.
She clicked the email and looked at the preview box below.
* * *
Helen,
I know you wish to focus on an increase in readership rather than a decrease in expenditure, but I feel an easy solution, for the time being, would be to make Lucy Bryce redundant and use an external outsourcing firm for advertising needs instead. A few of the other publications have done this, with much success.
I’ll call you to discuss.
Christine.
* * *
Kim read the email three times. Each time she expected the contents to change, but of course they didn’t. She clicked off of the email and marked it as unread. She hurried to close the inbox.
She let out a deep breath and leant back in her chair, putting some distance between her and the message. Of course, it made no difference,
she’d done the deed, she’d read the email. But quickly removing it from sight and adding a few centimetres between her and it was soothing.
But it was short-lived.
Now she had to decide if she should tell her girlfriend that she was about to be made redundant. She shook her head. The answer was obvious. Of course, she would tell Lucy, there was no way she couldn’t. She had to warn her. Lucy wasn’t exactly flush with cash and losing her job was a huge deal.
The thought of breaking Helen’s confidence was soul-destroying. Helen trusted her, they were as close as a boss and personal assistant could be. And Helen was a great boss, a great person.
Kim reached for another piece of chocolate. With her arm outstretched, she stopped herself. Instead she swept the remaining pieces of chocolate into the bin. She didn’t deserve a treat. She’d done something terrible.
Chapter Eleven
Chloe rushed into the restaurant. She was ten minutes late, which wasn’t bad considering. She’d texted ahead to let her family know, but she knew her brother would still reward her tardiness with the stink eye.
Apparently, it was fine for Chloe to spend endless hours listening to their parents’ nonsense without another human being for support. But Kevin liked to keep family gatherings as brief as possible. He socialised with them when he absolutely had to, not a second more.
“Sorry I’m late,” she announced, dropping her bag and her coat onto the vacant chair. She leaned down and kissed her dad on the cheek. “Happy birthday, Dad.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” Dad replied.
She kissed her mum on the cheek and then sat down next to Kevin. She certainly wasn’t going to kiss his cheek. Or look at him at all, if possible.
“We waited to order,” Mum said.
“Oh, I said to go ahead without me,” Chloe replied. She’d been looking forward to a shorter meal as a result. She hadn’t exactly wanted to go to dinner the evening after her first day at a new job. Though she couldn’t say no to her own father’s birthday dinner, she could attempt to shorten it a little, so she could rush home and fall into bed in an exhausted heap.
Climbing the Ladder Page 5
