Oh no. Not this again. It was pretty clear the bike was back. Whoever the blonde giant was, it looked like he was going to get his way. Which meant he was either trying again out of stubbornness or that he’d gone above her dad’s head for permission. She figured it was probably the latter and she knew her dad was going to be furious.
“What is that bike doing back here?” Lawrence roared.
The blonde giant, Carrie wished she knew his name, sauntered out of the shop. He crossed his arms over his chest. His grease stained, thin gray t-shirt struggled to stretch over his bulging arms and massive chest.
The guy was a wonder. An anomaly. Even if she didn’t already know he’d come from across the country, he didn’t look like he belonged there. He was just out of place and she couldn’t exactly peg why. It wasn’t like there weren’t a host of other tall, incredibly stacked blonde guys with bronzed skin and tattoos walking around Miami. The guy looked like a mechanic. He just… it just seemed like he’d come from another world.
“I told you, Rand, that I’d get it here one way or other.” The guy produced something from his back pocket and handed it over to her father.
Carrie watched her dad’s face go from red to purple. She knew what was going to come next. A full on melt down of epic proportions. Just as her dad opened his mouth to blast the guy, she found herself running across the parking lot, Jennie cooing away as her little bucket seat bumped against Carrie’s legs in her hurry. Go figure. Of course her daughter would love a little bit of a rough ride. The regular rocking and soothing crap never worked, but an adventure? Jennie was always down for that, even at three months old.
“Dad…” Carrie’s hand closed around her father’s arm. Even in the full on, close, sticky heat of the overwarm summer day, her dad’s skin was cold. Probably from the air conditioning they always had blasting in the office. Her dad always had a cold on and off in the summer and she knew why. That damn central air was cold enough to freeze water in that office.
Her father turned slowly. Some of the anger drained away, just at the sight of her. “Go back and wait in the car, honey. I won’t be long.”
She ignored him. She knew he’d just go back to creating a war between himself and the blonde guy. For some reason, she just couldn’t stand it. There was also the part of her that she never could seem to control. The part of her that knew better, but still jumped in with both feet. So instead of turning around and retreating, she shifted and extended her hand to the stranger she hadn’t been able to erase out of her mind.
“Hi. I’m Carrie.” She stuck out her hand and waited. The guy stared at her palm. His sea swept eyes went from her face, back down to her hand. She felt the heat in his eyes, the magnetic pull, and she couldn’t tuck her hand back at her side, even when it got awkward hanging it out in the middle of nowhere.
Slowly, with extreme caution and gentleness, the guy’s hand closed around hers. It was the barest hint of a touch, the mere whisper of fingers brushing fingers, palm gracing palm, and yet… it did something to her. Something to her brain. It was like the wires up there short circuited or the fuses exploded or something. A tremor ripped its way up her back. She felt that deep, violent shiver down to the soles of her feet.
“Sean.” His hand left hers, went back to his side. He glanced at it for a second. “I’m sorry. I probably have grease all over my hand.”
She looked down at hers automatically. “No. Or… it didn’t transfer at any rate.” She offered a smile, a smile she actually felt, but knew she shouldn’t.
“I’m going to ask you one more time to take that bike out of here.” Her dad shifted from one foot to the other and it seemed like she was once again forgotten in the battle of wills.
“I have permission to have it here,” Sean explained calmly. His voice was rational and smooth, like he really wanted to diffuse the situation.
Carrie realized that even though Sean looked big and imposing, threatening even, he wasn’t. He was probably one of those guys that was all soft on the inside.
“Permission you didn’t get from me,” her dad growled.
“I told you I was going to go to the owners. You said be my guest. I wouldn’t have had to go above you if you’d just be fair to me and allow me the same privilege the rest of the staff have.”
“We don’t work on bikes in this shop.”
“You’re going to have to make an exception,” Sean pointed out. “Because I have permission and I’m going to bring it in here. It will take me one night, two at most.”
“You can’t have it here during the day. If it takes you more than one night, have it gone in the morning. Be sure none of our customers see it. It’s bad enough you were hired with tattoos on your damn neck for everyone to see. They don’t need to be frightened off with your bike set up in there for the entire world to notice. Do you want people to think this is some kind of gang?”
Something dark passed over Sean’s eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came. Carrie wasn’t sure she saw it at all. Her dad stood frozen beside her, breathing erratically, huffing and puffing like a defeated dragon.
And then out of nowhere, Jennie decided to announce that she’d been ignored for long enough. She let out a piercing wail that shook all three of them.
“Crap,” Carrie muttered under her breath. She set the little carrier on the ground and hurried to detach the straps before her daughter could let out a full-on wail.
By the time she produced Jennie, her little face was red. Her hands were balled into tiny fists of rage. Carrie knew she was in for a good one. When Jennie decided to get worked up, it was a long drawn out battle of wills until she was quiet and sated again.
“Here, let me take her.” Her dad held out his arms, but she continued to try and rock and bounce her daughter back into a semblance of happiness. It didn’t work. She finally passed the crying infant over to her father.
Normally he had the magic touch. Apparently not that afternoon. The screaming, wailing, red-faced high-pitched screams kept right on going. Some of the other guys were actually coming out of the garage to see what the heck was going on in the parking lot. The guy at the flat deck trailer unloading the bike froze in place. It was actually almost comical; how one tiny little baby could bring the entire place to a grinding halt.
Out of nowhere, Sean stepped up. He moved into Jennie’s line of sight and did the unthinkable. He screwed up those chiseled, beautifully hard features and stuck out his tongue. He made a silly face and some even sillier cooing babbling noises.
Jennie responded instantly. The screams and shrieks cut right off midstream. She let out a few hiccupy, whiny, sobby little sounds, but she continued to watch Sean, who kept right on with the silly faces. Even her dad stood frozen, a look of sheer disbelief on his face, though Carrie wasn’t sure if that was because Jennie had stopped her tantrum or because of what Sean was currently doing.
Finally Sean took a step back and her dad shifted Jennie to his shoulder where he could rub her back and bump her up and down gently at the same time. She seemed happy enough with that at the moment and didn’t resume her screaming.
“Wow,” Carrie breathed. “You are really good with kids.” She stared at Sean in what must have been wonderment.
He blinked at her. “Uh… no. Not really.” He rolled his eyes for emphasis. “Just lucky I guess.”
“Lucky is right,” her dad muttered. “You’re damn lucky you didn’t scare the wits out of her. You had a fifty-fifty chance of having the exact opposite happen. She could have taken one look at you and decided she was going to have a full out melt down.”
“She didn’t though,” Carrie said cheerfully. “We both know that when Jennie likes someone she really likes them. If she didn’t like Sean, we’d know.” She flashed him another smile and was shocked to see that he actually reddened a little. He ran a hand through his hair, mussing the long strands, even though most of it was tied back loosely at his neck.
“I really should help that guy unload my
bike,” he mumbled.
There was something in his voice, something in his eyes, but then he shut himself down just like she was used to having to pack down her own emotions. She’d seen her dad do the same thing a hundred times over her lifetime. Build up walls. Tamp down feelings. Keep whatever was on the inside carefully on the inside.
“I guess so.” Carrie bobbed her head in the direction of the bike. “Thanks again. Really.”
The faint red spots on Sean’s cheeks darkened before he turned and marched off in the direction of the flat deck, heavy black boots scraping across the paved parking lot.
“Come on. We’ll get Jennie home and fed, won’t we princess?” Her dad was already walking off, Jennie bouncing happily on his shoulder.
He purposely did things like that. Just like he shuttered away his true feelings. He was done with Sean and the whole situation. He might have lost the battle, but he had the ability to just walk it off, unlike most people. Carrie didn’t know if he’d hold a grudge over the bike or not. Probably. He’d made it pretty damn clear he didn’t like Sean and her dad didn’t change his mind.
She turned slowly and walked off after him. Only because she couldn’t stand there and stare at Sean. As much as she wanted to, it would have been creepy and far too telling. She took one last look at him, his powerful body curling and unfurling, flexing and withdrawing, as he unloaded the bike. His blonde hair shone like spun gold in the sun.
If she was at all like her dad, it was her own ability to keep things inside. Like memories. She remembered everything in photographic detail. Not only would she keep Sean’s face in her mind because it was just the way her brain worked, she liked it there. She liked it far too much.
Chapter 6
A Rare Smile
Sean
Everyone knew the world was unfair. He didn’t have to explain that to anyone. But sometimes, just once or twice, the universe seemed to smile on him. It was a rare smile, full of light and sunshine, beauty and grace.
It came in the form of Carrie Rand.
Right on schedule, she pulled up at the end of the day in her ancient blue station wagon and went into the office like he guessed she always did. She came back out a minute later though, without the baby carrier on her arm.
He thought she had some other mission in mind and was astounded when she walked right up to the open shop bay. She came inside, glanced around once, squared her shoulders and approached him. He paused, tools hanging limply from his hands.
“Hey.” She offered a shy smile. “I just- I just wanted to apologize for my dad and the whole thing about bikes. He- he’s kind of different and I just don’t want you think badly of him.”
He found himself frowning, even though he didn’t mean to. “Why would that matter to you?” he finally asked. He silently cursed himself for his extreme lack of tact. He hadn’t meant to say that at all.
It turned out, Carrie Rand was even prettier when she blushed. Those rose-colored spots on her cheeks were absolutely gorgeous. He reacted instinctively, his body on full alert. It was painful, the way he tried to keep himself from springing a hard on right in front of her. He was glad that he could lean into the car he was working on and shield his waist from her view.
On the heels of the mad wave of lust that washed over him, was a hard wave of guilt. I have no business thinking anything about her let alone finding her attractive. Guys like me are not for her. She needs someone who can keep her safe, not fuck up her life.
“I- I don’t know.” She dropped her eyes down to the dirty concrete floor of the shop. Around them the guys kept working, though they were no doubt listening in. “I guess I just wanted you to know that he can be standoffish to people who don’t know him. And no one really knows him. Everyone reads him wrong. He really is a good guy. I’m not just saying that because I’m his daughter.”
Sean leaned into the car. He tried to keep his tongue glued in his mouth, but unfortunately it opened and worked just fine. The words spilled out before he could stop them. “Do you have someone?”
Carrie blinked, clearly shocked. She looked over her shoulder for a second, but the other guys were working hard away. If they heard his quietly mumbled question, they didn’t give any indication. “No,” she whispered.
She didn’t look at him for the longest time, but when she did, her beautiful dark eyes were guarded and below that, wounded and unbearably hopeful. It hurt him to even see. Something deep and wounded inside himself responded. He wanted to reach out to her, to take her arm and fold her in against him. To hold her there and keep her safe. He wanted to erase the pain he saw there, to make it better.
That’s impossible. I’d never be able to make anything better. I’d only make things a hundred times worse.
“Can I take you out?” Again, the words poured out of his mouth, almost as if it was another person speaking. Stop. Don’t do it. “I mean, just for a break. Out of the house.” I am an asshole. I am no fucking good for her.
“That would never fly.”
He couldn’t help the sag of his shoulders. He wished he could say it was from relief. Relief for her. Of course she’d refuse him and that innate sense of self-preservation would keep her safe.
“Okay.” He shuffled the steel toe of his work boot against the concrete. He waited for her to spin on her heel and leave. He knew, if any of the other guys heard him, especially Jay, he’d hear about it after.
She didn’t leave. He tensed. A few silent minutes ticked by. He finally looked up at the same time she looked back at him. Their gazes locked and held like they had the first time and a current of something deep and inexplicable passed between them. At least it passed for him. It hit him right in the chest, nearly winding him.
“Maybe I can,” she amended. “I could say that I’ve started going to some mom’s meetings in the area. Just for moms. For a break. Twice a week. Mondays and Fridays. From seven until nine. I’ll tell my dad and ask him if he can watch Jennie.”
The instant wave of self-loathing was furious and immediate. He hated himself for making her lie. He was already soiling her, already ruining her, already endangering her. Thoughts of those guys ever finding him haunted him at night. They haunted him in his waking hours too, but at least he could push it away, try and be strong, try and reason, try and prepare for it if it ever did become a reality.
“Friday then. Seven. Where?” Tell her no. Or don’t show up. Don’t fuck up her life. She has a daughter. A brand new baby. Be merciful… But he couldn’t.
“I’ll think of a place. I’ll let you know.”
Carrie turned and just like that, she was gone. He breathed in deeply and imagined he could smell the lingering scent of her perfume in the shop. Of course, he knew he couldn’t. It was just cars and welding fumes, oil and grease and gas. All the smells that had kept him company for over a decade. The smells that ushered him into a seedy world he never should have been a part of.
He slowly turned back to the car he was working on, but his hands were like lead. He barely had the strength to pick his tools back up. He sure as hell couldn’t concentrate.
What was worse? The fact that he couldn’t bring himself to do the right thing or the fact that he knew that the next two days would pass so infinitely slowly he didn’t know if he could bear it.
Chapter 7
A Kiss That Didn’t Happen
Carrie
Sneaking out of the house was wrong. Lying to her dad was wrong. Debating all day about what to wear and actually fussing with her hair and makeup was wrong. Being excited about her lies was wrong. Shaking so badly she could hardly control it was wrong. Holding her breath while her heart beat out of her chest was wrong. Sean was wrong.
It was all damn wrong.
She didn’t even know Sean’s last name and there she was, meeting him in the park. She’d managed to dodge over to the garage the day before and press a note into his hand. A note with the park’s address, name and the time.
Carrie almost hoped that Se
an wouldn’t show. She’d be off the hook then. She didn’t even know what had possessed her to come up with the idea of sneaking out and meeting him. She was probably putting herself in danger, being with a man she didn’t know, in a place where no one knew where she was. At least it was public. That allowed her a semblance of safety.
Being that it was the tail end of the summer, the daylight was fading fast. Carrie parked her car in the parking lot and walked to the edge of the park. She wanted to be visible at all times, in an area she could quickly get away from or draw attention to herself if necessary. She also wanted Sean to be able to find her.
As the minutes ticked by, she almost gave up hope. She hated the way her heart sunk and her stomach plummeted. I shouldn’t care. It shouldn’t make one bit of difference to me either way. It did though. It did make a difference. She watched the traffic come and go, a few cars here, a few cars there. There was much more pedestrian traffic. People walked and jogged by, pushed strollers, laughed and talked. Bikers whizzed down the sidewalk that bordered the parking lot. There were trails through the park, but most bikers had the good sense to stay off them and not run down the people running and walking along.
The sky kept growing darker. She kept checking her phone. The minutes ticked by. And then, out of nowhere, she heard the rumble of a bike. It echoed in the distance, still blocks away. She trained her ear, hardly daring to hope. The rumble turned into a roar and she whipped her head in the direction. She was just in time to see the bike turn the corner and enter the parking lot. She braced herself, hands digging into the bottom of the wood bench, breath locked up in her lungs.
Even before he took off the helmet, she knew it was him. Blonde hair protruded from beneath the dark black helmet with the blacked-out visor. Sean had on a black leather jacket, a dark pair of jeans and a pair of black boots. When he took off his helmet and his blonde hair spilled free around his shoulders… it was too much.
Carrie went to suck in a breath, but realized she’d been holding it all along. She let it out instead and gave her agonized lungs a break.
Hard and Dirty: Bad Boy MC Romance Page 3
