by Sabrina Kade
Ellis hums to herself, probably deciding whether to believe me or not, but luckily for me, she decides to let it go for now. “Even if you don’t have any worries now, you will the first time you hold your baby in your arms. You’ll want to shield him from the world and keep him against you all the time. I never imagined loving anything so much, but here I am, obsessed with a fucking baby.” Her look softens as she gazes down. “My baby.”
I notice Junis’ eyes drooping heavily now, and milk runs out from his mouth. I can practically feel Ellis relaxing as her child starts to doze in her arms. It’s such a peaceful, serene scene, that inwardly I jump for joy at knowing this will be me in a couple of weeks. I wonder, will I be like York and be bouncing around only days after giving birth? Or will I be like Ellis? Bedbound and utterly protective of my little (metaphorically) baby? Or will I be something in between?
I wonder how Dolan will be as a father. I don’t care how little or big the baby looks; he better prepare himself because he will be holding our baby. I don’t want him ever to think he’ll get to be one of those ‘babies are women’s work’ type men. Oh no. He’ll be changing diapers, wiping asses, and cleaning up puke just like the mamas. It’s hard not to get excited about it. Dolan – with arms like a football player – doting and caring for a teeny-tiny baby.
“I’m excited,” I admit.
“I hope so,” Ellis says in a low voice. “Because I don’t think you have much choice in the matter now.”
I dare to laugh. “No, I mean. I’m excited. I want to see Dolan hold our baby. The baby wouldn’t be here without him.” I bite my lip, hoping the next words I say don’t get me kicked out her room. “You should let Hujun hold him, Ellis. He wants to.”
She arches a curious eyebrow. “How do you know?”
“He told me.”
Her dark brown eyes narrow. “I thought you said you hadn’t seen him.”
“I lied. I sent him down to the Preparation Room so I could sneak in here to see you and make sure you’re okay.”
She presses her lips together. “It’s normal for some women to disappear off the face of the Earth when they give birth. I guess it’s just more noticeable here, huh? People have been talking about me, huh? They probably think I’m going crazy, but that’s not it. I want this time with my baby to be with me for me. I don’t want to share. Blythe may be okay with it, but I’m not. I could hold my baby all day and all night. Nothing makes me happier; well, nothing other than the man who is partially responsible for giving me this baby.”
A soft, serene look crosses her face, and it’s enough to make my heart ache. Fuck, I wonder if Hujun knows all of this. I would never want to make Dolan feel as though he wasn’t irreplaceable. I would never want—
But that’s what I’m doing. That’s why I’m here.
Dolan’s trying his best to make me happy, and he’s barely sure of why I’m unhappy in the first place. He’s always trying. And I made him feel like his comfort didn’t matter.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
“What? Something wrong?” Ellis’ eyes dart down to Junis, but he’s still sleeping soundly with his mouth wrapped around her areola.
“No, I’m just thinking about what brought me here in the first place.”
“What did bring you here?”
“Remember the fat comment?” I ask quietly. “Well, let’s say that I haven’t felt too sexy lately. Don’t get me wrong! I want sex. I’m getting sex, and Dolan is damn well giving it to me, but as time goes by, I wonder if I’m getting… too curvy?”
“Too curvy?” Utter confusion crosses her face. I’m embarrassed for even bringing it up. Coming out of my mouth, it sounds silly now.
“You know what? Don’t worry about it. It’s pregnancy hormones—”
“Promise me Dolan didn’t say anything hurtful,” Ellis demands. “I know he’s your mate, but he’s a fucking dumbass sometimes, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he said something that upset you without meaning to.”
“Dolan didn’t say anything,” I promise.
“So what? You said you guys are having sex.”
“We are.”
“And do things seem different at all? Is he worried about the baby?”
“Really!” I squeak, not used to talking like this with anyone other than Sloane. “It’s nothing. He’s fine. I’m fine. We’re all fine.”
“Except you’re not. Layla, if you want to talk about something, you can. It’s not like I’m going to spread your shit around the lairs. Who am I going to tell, huh? Hujun? He’d rather change a shit filled diaper than listen to anything involving Dolan.” She blushes. “No offense.”
“None taken.” I take in a deep breath, forcing the words to come. “Dolan’s been great. He hasn’t changed at all. From the beginning, he’s said that he likes my body, and nothing’s changed even though I’m as big as a house lately.”
“You’re pregnant.”
I roll my eyes. “I wish everyone would stop saying that as though it’s an excuse. I was heavy before I got pregnant, but everyone seems to forget that.”
“Because no one cares.”
“Why?”
“Because,” Ellis says. “It never seemed to bother you. Hell, we’d all kill for your confidence. Or at least, the confidence you had back then.” She gently tugs Junis away from her breast and lowers him next to her on the bed. She manages to do this without waking the newborn, and it’s a pretty impressive feat as far as I’m concerned. “If nothing’s changed, what the hell are you worried about? Just lose the weight once you can move again after birth if it bothers you so much. And if it doesn’t bother Dolan, who cares in the first place?”
I shrug. Ellis changes tactics.
“Look, just be happy and enjoy the sex while you can, because it will never be the same after you give birth, okay? You have a man who loves every inch of you, and it sounds like he still does despite being soooooo pregnant.” She rolls her eyes. “Stop overthinking. These guys are aliens. It’s more than looks with them. It’s like fated mates or something. Dolan loves you just as you are. So fuck the living daylights out of him like you always do and brag about it loudly the next morning like everyone says you do.”
I blush. “Dios mío, is that really what the girls say?”
She smiles. “Even if they haven’t said it to me directly, I get the news. Trust me; all the girls are jealous of your skills in the sheets. And there’s only one person who brags more loudly than you.”
“Who’s that?”
She bursts out laughing, not caring if her baby stirs. “Dolan, you idiot.”
The words make me join in her laughter. I can almost picture my man bragging to his brothers about the things his female does to him. Back on Earth, I might consider his behavior crass, but on Hethdiss, it’s pretty endearing and damn awesome. I love making my man so happy. And I love that my man makes me so happy. There’s no reason to be acting like this. I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby. There’s no need to act like I’m the first and last woman who’s ever been pregnant before. Chicks heavier than me fuck their husbands all the time. While pregnant! And they’re certainly not in the Galactal Federation news. As nothing more than a microscopic dot in the universe, we’re just two lucky souls who found each other.
“Oh God,” Ellis mutters. “Tell me you’re not thinking about fucking him right now.”
A smile crosses my face. “Maybe I am. And you should think about too. Fucking your own man, I mean. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to let someone else watch your baby for a few hours so you could get some Hujun time. Fucking or no fucking.”
Her playful expression shifts. “I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet,” she admits in a low, serious voice.
I decide not to push her. Today, anyway. “Well, if you’re not going to fuck him, can you at least let him hold Junis? I know it would mean a lot to him.” She seems to think it over. “You said it yourself that nothing makes you happier than your baby and the man who mad
e him possible, right? Well, then what could be hotter than seeing the two of those things together at last?”
Her eyebrows furrow. “I guess I could do that. If you think it would mean that much to him.”
“I do. And it would mean a lot to me, too. I hope that doesn’t sound weird.”
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t.”
I smile gently, and, not wanting to wear out my welcome, I stand quietly and head towards the doorframe. Junis snoozes on, and his mother remains silent as I brace my hand against the frame. Hujun is standing beyond the opening, tense and nervous, but I don’t think he’ll have to feel this way for much longer. I reach out and touch his shoulder. And though I don’t say anything, I can tell by his face that there’s relief in his eyes. She didn’t kick me out. The baby isn’t crying. Something might have gone right in there.
“I’ll be back tomorrow to check on her,” I say in a low voice, smiling over my shoulder when seeing that Ellis is already curled up and asleep next to her baby.
“I’d like that,” Hujun rumbles. “And Lay-lah?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.” He presses a flattened hand against his chest. I guess it’s a sign of gratitude in their culture. “Thank you for taking care of my mate.”
I smile back, wordlessly.
Now, to figure out a way to take care of mine.
CHAPTER FOUR
Dolan
I do not like Hinda. Yes, I understand that she is considered Exer’s pet, but the beast is beyond annoying. It drools all over me, and its breath smells like rotting flesh – most likely due to its diet. But it is at least a pleasant distraction for the past couple suns risings and suns settings. Exer wants to spend a few more nights in the woods before Sloane gives birth, so this is most likely his last chance to spend overnight in the talas. At the last moment, I decided to accompany him. I could see Layla was upset about me leaving her, but I have nothing to say. If she thinks I am not a good mate, I will give her time away from me.
But days have passed, and I am returning to the lairs with Exer. I could not be happier to leave Hinda and her slobbering maw behind me. All is for the best; I suppose because I do miss my Layla. Almost everything else at the lairs annoys me. My brother Azan, who is always giving me advice that I did not ask for. Prince Korben’s pompous ways and the pride he wears on his face for getting his mate pregnant first. The sprog is not even that impressive. The sprog that Layla will give birth to will be much more attractive, of that I am sure.
Once Exer and I separate from one another after arriving back at the lairs, I wipe my brow and consider taking a detour back to my shared space. Perhaps, Layla does not wish to see me yet. Maybe, I am still annoying to her because apparently, I make her feel disgusting. And though it takes everything I have not to go to the Preparation Room and further waste time, I long for my mate too much. I miss holding her curves, and yes, I still find them ample. That was never meant to be a cruel term. It was one I thought my mate enjoyed. And yet, the look she cast upon me when I said it? The sneer she sent in my direction before leaving our lair?
I pause in my tracks, staring at the closed curtain.
I can smell my Chosen mate inside, and I brace my senses, prepared to be blasted by annoyance now that I have returned.
Except, that is not what I scent.
I breathe in more deeply, trying to make sure that I am not confusing Layla with another human female, but no. It is Layla, all right. And she is nervous.
“You can come inside, you know,” she calls from beyond the curtain. Her voice has a certain throatiness to it that my cock immediately responds to. I fling the curtain aside, not wanting to waste another moment, and there she is.
My beautiful Layla is sprawled across the sheets as though waiting for me. I take in her rounded belly, swollen with pregnancy, and nothing could make my cock harder than this. I swallow hard as she tilts her head to the side. “I was afraid you weren’t going to come back,” she says in a low, soft voice.
“I will always come back to you.” I swallow again, forcing the need rising in me to settle because I am not sure that Layla wishes for pleasure on this night. Her bare body gives me hope, but after everything that’s happened and how I ran from her like a coward? I would not be surprised if she wanted nothing to do with me.
“Even after how I acted?” she asks. “The whole… blaming you for my insecurities?”
I frown. “That is the most nonsensical reason for leaving a Chosen mate that I have ever heard.” I shake my head, before realizing this is a serious topic for Layla. “Have I failed you in some way?”
“It wasn’t ever you that made me feel that way. You know that, right?”
My cock bobs beneath my shorts. Does she not blame me? “But I said… the word.”
“Ample,” Layla reminds me before patting a spot on the bed in front of her. I join her without words, and though it is difficult to focus on her words when her belly is exposed to me, I pinch my eyes shut and open them again to show her that I am listening. “Yes. And you’re right. You’ve said that word plenty of times. It never bothered me before. But I don’t know, for some reason—”
“Because you are carrying our sprog.”
She gasps, those luscious pink lips parting, and I barely manage to suppress a groan. “You figured it out, huh?”
“When it comes to you, I will figure anything out. I don’t ever want you to be unhappy, Layla. I don’t ever want you to think that I am not a good mate for you again—”
“What?” she gasps. “That’s what you thought?”
“Was I wrong?”
She shakes her head hard, large breasts rocking with the movement. Scheita, how am I supposed to focus when her brown globes are drawing so much attention with a single head shake? I swallow back my frustration, hoping that I can touch her because I do not think I can maintain control for much longer. She is too beautiful. Too brown. Too soft. Too mine.
“Dolan,” she begins, “of course you were wrong. Like I keep trying to tell you, this was never about you.” She holds up her hands. “And yes, I know I threw a horrific baby fit because you said the word ample, but that’s still all about me.” She takes in a deep breath. “I love my body — most of the time. I love my curves. But I’m not sure if I like this body I’m in right now, okay? Looking at all the other girls who are sticks with basketballs hanging off their stomachs, it’s hard to look like this and be okay with it. And it’s nothing you’re doing; it’s me. I’m not happy with how I look right now, okay?” Her head lowers, as though ashamed. Do you hate me?”
I slick my tongue across my lower lip, taking in my mate’s speech. Some of the terms do not translate, but I think I understand. Layla likes herself, but she does not like herself while pregnant. Is it possible humans reach a point where they feel they are too ample? The Kundurtas have a problem like that, but most of the human females are sized similarly, so I never gave it much thought before.
“Answer me, Dolan,” she says when, like a putlet, I do not answer right away.
“Layla, you are allowed to feel these things. But that does not mean I have to like them, yes?” She shakes her head. “And I much rather hear you say that you do not like your body while pregnant than calling yourself… disgusting.” I hiss out the word as though it brings me much pain. Because it does.
I slide closer to her on the bed, still fighting the urge to touch her because I am not quite sure what to make of this version of Layla. Does she even want my touch? Should I leave her be? I wish I knew. I don’t want to come across as dumb, so I do not ask her. But I take a chance. “Also, just because you are not happy with yourself, does not mean I am not happy with you. You are as beautiful as you have ever been. There is nothing more I want than to touch your skin, kiss your lips, and fill you with my cock.”
Layla smiles, but the flash of color does not appear on her cheeks like many of the other human females’. I love that Layla does not grow embarrassed by my words. Most of
the time, she enjoys them very much. I lean ever closer, pushing my boundaries. “Do you enjoy it when I fill your cunt with my cock?”
“Dolan,” she snickers, gently shoving me away. “I’m huge. You can’t possibly want to have sex.”
“How can I possibly not want to have sex with you?”
“Dolan…”
“Look at me.” My voice comes out like a hiss, but I will not stand for this. If Layla does not like her body, fine. I will do what I can to change her mind, but that is a problem she must find a solution to on her own. But I will show her that I like her body. I love it. And when those deep brown eyes sear into mine, it’s hard not to let out a groan of need. “Layla,” I say thickly. “You are everything to me. My hearts. My love. My light. My everything. And if my words do not reach your ears tonight, I’d like to try another way to show how sexy you are to me.”
Her breath catches, but she does not fight me. A seductive smile appears on her face, and she crawls into my lap. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“I am. Please, Layla. Let me touch you. Taste you. Make you come.”
She rolls her eyes and her shoulders slack. The fire and spark in her eyes ignite at last. “If you insist. Lay back.” Her voice comes out like the most adorable purr, and I’m helpless as I slide back into the bed, pressing my back against the wall and settling Layla between my spread thighs. She gasps at the movement as though shocked by how easily I can move her, but why? She is positively light in my arms.
“Thank you,” she husks before leaning in to press her lips against mine. I stifle a response, but I think that my Chosen mate is done talking for now. This is the female I love and want more than life itself. Her soft, rounded body in my hands. Her smooth, scaleless skin. Her mouth, always the aggressor when we kiss. I love this female so much I can barely control myself, flinging my arms around her body so I can bring her closer to me. Our bodies touch.
“You are beautiful,” I rasp between kisses, hoping I can control myself. I must do this on Layla’s terms; otherwise, I fear all will shatter once again.
