by Dell Sweet
~
Jamie watched them walk from the firelight into the darkness. Her heart sank with one huge jolt. She had been tempted to chase after them, but she knew that Beth did not want Billy in the way that she wanted him, needed him, so she was sure that it was not for that reason they had walked away. She did not know the reason though and it bothered her as she thought about it. What other reason could there be? Did you walk off into the darkness to discuss leaving this camp? Is that how it worked? Really? She stood, arms folded and watched the stars do their slow dance as her tears began to spill across her cheeks.
As the minutes passed she became more convinced that Beth did want him, always had. That it was all some sort of evil joke they had decided to play on her. On the wind she heard a woman cry out, nearby a couple laughed softly. A sob caught in her throat as she realized the truth. She tried to get her emotions under control, but she failed. She stood, head bowed, one hand across her eyes.
“Jamie?” A barely spoken question.
She raised her eyes to see Winston standing close to her.
“Are you okay, Jamie?” he asked in his halting old man's voice: A slight quiver mixed with a raspy edge; a voice that seemed nearly used up.
She caught herself as fast as she could. “Okay.... I'm okay.... Overtired,” she brushed at her eyes and tried not to look directly at him. “I'll be fine..., A little sleep,” she told him as she turned and walked away. She patted his arm affectionately as she passed by him. A few moments later she pulled the canvas flaps shut on the tent, tied them from the inside, blew out the lantern and lay down on her sleeping bag. She let the tears come full force, losing herself in them.
For a moment she told herself that she had no one to blame, save herself. That Billy had told her time and time again that he didn't feel the same for her as she did for him, but she convinced herself just as quickly that it couldn't be true. Could not, because a man didn't sleep with a woman he didn't love, did he? At least care for? Of course not. It was stupid to think that he didn't care about her. Beth had done this... Beth had taken him away.
Winston stood outside the tent looking down at the small pile of belongings Jamie had placed outside before she had pulled the canvas opening shut. He stood for just a few moments wondering what it might mean for him, for all of them, and then he walked away into the night.
