by Kris Jacen
“Yeah, Debs and I are talking. I’m not sure I want to deploy again. The boys are now at an age that having me here is a good thing. They’re going in so many directions and—” Mooney broke off. “I’ve missed so much. I want to have some time with them before they don’t want to be around me anymore.”
“Until Siah took those classes? Yeah, I knew what spouses went through, kinda. But I really never thought about what kids did or what parents missed.”
“Why would you? Yeah, you were married during deployment but until you have kids you don’t really think about it all.” Mooney looked at a new addition to his picture gallery. It was one of all the heptad’s kids. Cal was holding Maddy on his lap; Cam was sitting with his arm around Tristan and all the others were holding a baby or hugging someone. It was a great picture.
“The rest of the heptad is thinking about it too, aren’t they?” Carter asked.
Mooney just nodded. “Yeah, I think they are. We’ve all done extraordinary things. All of us made first sergeant and four of us wore a star. Combined? We’ve done over a hundred and fifty years of service to this nation. Think it’s time for us to let a new crew take over. Think you and your crew are ready to step up?”
Carter just stared at Mooney for a minute. “My crew?” Carter was really not following Mooney.
“Yeah, you and your crew. Wells, Randolph and Martin. You’ve got the basics down. The four of you can have an impact.” Mooney sounded quite sure of this. Carter thought he might have gotten into Price’s stash.
“Mooney, we don’t have those skills. We’re just specialists and a sergeant.”
“Do you think all of us started out at E8?” Mooney teased. “We came up in the ranks, from private, together. You all haven’t been together as long but you could be one day.” Mooney stood up and gestured to his chair. “Want to try out the seat? It’s not the same responsibilities as Mackey’s but it’s close enough for Artillery.”
“Did you have a few drinks at lunch? I don’t want to sit in your chair. Sit down.” Carter kept shaking his head. “Do I need to have Debbie come pick you up?”
“Not sure you want the command sergeant major responsibilities?” Mooney asked as he sat down again, waving away Carter’s question.
Carter thought about that before finally answering, “I don’t think I want the uniform anymore.”
A look of understanding crossed Mooney’s face and he was nodding. “I had a feeling you were thinking about hanging up your uniform. Is it because of Siah? If it helps, Debs thinks he’s got what it takes to be a military spouse. She said she watched him when she notified him you were in the hospital. Said he freaked for a minute but then pulled it all together and locked it down.”
“That’s good to hear but… maybe he’s part of it? I’ve been doing some reading and thinking. Think I figured out what I really want to do. Yeah, I wanted to join the Army but it wasn’t my driving passion. I used the Army to get out…” Carter paused, not sure how to finish his thought.
“What? You’ve found your passion?” Mooney asked.
“I think so.”
“I hope you’re not focusing it all on Siah because—”
Carter cut Mooney’s argument off. “Yes, I do feel passion for Siah but that’s not it. Back in July, Siah and I were talking about Colonel O’Connor passing and Siah starting going on about one of the flyers he got when taking the classes this summer. He got heated about the suicide rate for veterans. Got me thinking about so much is looked over when soldiers come back. Yeah, we sit through briefings but let’s be honest? That’s a check the box. And a lot have issues that don’t show up until they’re out or even years later. Look at what Gulf War veterans go through, those that were in the first wave.”
“I’ve known several. So what are you going to do?” Mooney was going to push Carter into saying it. Wasn’t going to let him off the hook.
“I’m out after this assignment. Going to school and get a degree in counseling.” Carter let out a breath. That wasn’t too hard to say.
“Then what?”
“Specialize in working with veterans to help them work through everything they’ve seen or done. Maybe with the VA. I don’t need a lot of money, enough to live comfortably.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a plan. What does Siah think?”
“Ask the easy questions, Mooney. Until just now, I haven’t said the words out loud. Guess I need to talk with Siah.”
“No time like the present. Don’t put it off and make it something bigger in your head than it is,” Mooney suggested. “Now, git.”
“Thank you for everything, Mooney. You and the heptad have…” Carter got choked up and had to stop talking.
“We know and I think you’re learning with your crew.” Mooney’s phone rang and that was that.
Chapter Twenty-three
Siah walked through his door, dragging. He’d taught some extra classes at the academy tonight then took black belt class. Being thrown around during class tonight had left some bruises. The combination they were developing— Siah reined in his thoughts. Time to rest and recuperate.
He dropped his messenger bag to one side, threw his martial arts bag to the other and rolled his shoulders. Kicking off his boots, winter was here already, hanging up his coat, he stretched to the side. Oh, that felt good. Food, need food before a shower and bed.
Not paying too much attention, he walked into the kitchen trying to figure out what was quick and easy. Siah stopped dead in the middle of the kitchen. The table was set, and spinning around, Siah saw pans on the stove.
“Hey you,” Carter said from behind him.
“Hey back.” Siah walked over and dropped his head against Carter’s chest. Carter reached up and started massaging his back and shoulders. “God, that feels great.”
“I’ll give you one after you shower but if I know you, you’re starving. Sit.” Carter pushed Siah toward the table as he shifted to the stove.
“Not that I’m complaining but why did you make me dinner? I didn’t expect to see you tonight.” He collapsed in a chair and watched Carter move around his kitchen.
“You’ve been so supportive of me in the past few weeks, I wanted to do something special for you.” Carter carried two plates over to the table and sat down after placing one in front of Siah.
“Thank you but I know you’d do the same for me.” Picking up his fork, Siah twisted some pasta and started eating.
“Thought you’d want to hear all that went down today too. So, Top calls us to attention in formation and…” Carter proceeded to tell Siah everything that happened today while they enjoyed the chicken pasta he’d made.
After dinner they loaded the dishwasher and before Siah could head for a shower, Carter pulled him onto the couch and wrapped him up in his arms. Siah just cuddled right in. Just taking the time to be. It’d taken him time to figure out how to, but he was getting better and better at it. Maybe he just needed the right touchstone.
“When I was at Mooney’s office, he pushed me to think.”
“Bad Mooney,” Siah joked.
“Yeah, but it was a good thing. I’ve needed to figure out some things for at least six months. I don’t know if I didn’t realize what was what until now or I wasn’t comfortable enough with myself to know what it was and—”
Siah interrupted Carter with “Breathe!” and then laughed. It felt good to be able to do that to someone else.
Carter tilted his head, obviously thinking, then started laughing with Siah.
“Okay, yeah, maybe I was on a Siah ramble. Anyway, I hope my next words don’t change us moving forward,” Carter paused. “I’ve decided I don’t want to be in the military any more.”
The statement stunned Siah and he pulled back. “What? Why? If you’re getting out for me—” Carter put his hand over Siah’s mouth.
“Have I thought about what it would mean to you if I stayed in and I had to PCS? I’d be lying if I said no. Am I getting out for you? As much as I love
you, I’m not.”
A silence stretched between them for what seemed like an eternity to Siah. He was having a hard time forming any thoughts. Then it came to him what Carter had said.
“Wait! Did you just tell me you love me?” Confirmation might make Siah the happiest man around.
“I did. Well?” Carter was just looking at Siah expectantly.
Siah let him stew for a beat then said, “Good. I love you too.” He dove in for a kiss or three before pulling back. “Now, back to the discussion. You’re getting out of the Army to do what?”
“I want to get a degree in counseling and work with veterans. Maybe for the VA.”
He could see Carter was waiting for Siah to weigh in on his decision. Siah thought about it then started nodding.
“I think it’s a fantastic plan. You care so much about the crew that I can see you getting invested in your patients and their recoveries.”
Carter blew out a breath Siah hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Seemed like Carter was still riding the self-doubt train. He didn’t think there was anything he could do to kick him off that train; Siah was just going to have to keep on keeping on and eventually Carter would believe.
“Now, what do I have to do to get you to move in here with me?”
Chapter Twenty-four
With the end of the month just a few days away, ending his lease was a breeze. Carter stopped in the super’s office two days after agreeing to move in with Siah and the super was excited to have the apartment available.
The crew was helping him pack up and get his stuff to the condo this weekend. Wells, Randolph and Tank were going to come over on Thanksgiving instead of going to the dining hall. Siah wasn’t traveling home this year. Something about his great uncle and alligators but he’d lost Carter in the explanation.
Boxes were everywhere in the apartment. Carter wasn’t taking much of his furniture since Siah’s was in better shape but he was damn well taking his TV. Siah’s wasn’t bad but it was not the beautiful, 55-inch HDTV Carter had. Wells and Tank had just taken the TV to the van they rented. Carter was just waiting for Randolph then they were carrying down the stand. Would he ever finish in the bathroom?
“Randolph! What the hell?” Carter yelled then started when someone cleared their throat behind him. He spun to look in the open doorway and almost fell over. Briar was standing there.
Carter stumbled over to the couch and fell down on it. He couldn’t have formed a thought in his head if someone held a gun to his head. What the fuck!
“Hi Carter,” Briar said finally. “Bad time?”
“Bad time? What the fuck? How are you here? Why are you here?” Apparently his brain had woken up.
“May, never asked. Where did you get the shower curtain? I’m thinking of—” Randolph stopped short as he got to the living room. “Who the fuck is this?”
Briar took a step into the apartment and held out his hand. “Briar Mason, Carter’s best friend.”
“To borrow a phrase from another ass, not fucking likely. That’s either Siah or me or maybe Wells.” Randolph’s response had Briar’s head snapping back a bit.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Randolph, one of Carter’s crew. If you were a best friend of his? Yeah, would’ve met you long time ago. Now, who the fuck are you again?”
“Briar. I grew up with Carter. Sat next to him in every class from kindergarten through high school. Even let him marry my sister.”
“Oh her? I’ve heard of her… the slut.” Randolph looked almost smug for some reason Carter couldn’t figure out.
“She’s dead,” Briar said flatly.
That sent Randolph peddling back. “I’m so sorry. I know she— I’m an ass. I’m sorry. Ummm…”
Carter sat on the couch watching the interaction between the two. It was almost like watching a ping-pong match back and forth.
“Thank you, she died of an overdose beginning of the year. Took some time to track down family for the remains. Guess Carter’s mom didn’t get through to him.” Briar looked over at Carter.
“She got through to me all right.” Carter turned to Randolph. “Remember the movie night you showed up at Siah’s and I was in a towel?” He waited to see if Randolph remembered and when he nodded after a few seconds. “I’d just hung up on my mother and her judgment. She had called to tell me about Jill and got Siah on the phone and well, it went downhill from there. Especially when I wouldn’t give into her demand for respect.”
Randolph winced and turned to Briar, holding out his hand. “Let’s start again. I’m Randolph. And you are?”
“Briar Mason. Nice to meet you.”
§ § § §
Seriously? One frickin’ day and all the drama could’ve been skipped. If the crew could’ve helped move Carter last weekend? Oh yeah, no drama. Tomorrow? No drama. But just his frickin’ luck today was the only day everyone could help before Thanksgiving and the weather was cooperating. Nice Indian summer the weekend before the holiday to make moving Carter easier. Thank God Randolph called to warn Siah what the fuck happened. More like fucking Briar Mason, the slut’s brother, showed up sending Carter into a tailspin. No time to console Carter, Siah had to put on a smiley face and play nice.
Asking a teacher to play nice with anyone outside of their circle the week before a long holiday weekend was a crapshoot. But Siah was going to do it. He was going to… if it killed him. Siah knew how much Briar had destroyed Carter when he took his sister’s side in everything.
Deep breath, Siah, deep breath. He could do this and would do this. First, feed the crew and watch a movie. Then console boyfriend. He could do this.
“Phinny, if you drop that box and break something, I’m taking it out of your ass on the mat!” Siah yelled at Randolph. Hmmm, he kinda liked Phinny.
“Phinny? Really?” Randolph shot back around the box he was carrying.
“Unless you’d like to tell me your first name…” Siah let that hang out there.
“Phinny works. Where is this one going? It’s fucking heavy.”
Siah walked over and read the box. “Put it in the spare room. Looks like it’s military gear.” Randolph grumbled as he walked away. “Where’s Carter and Tank?”
“Siah! Move your cute ass out of the hallway!” Carter commanded. Siah turned and saw Wells walking backward holding one end of the TV, Carter on the other end. “Shit! I don’t remember this being this heavy.”
“I told you I’d—”
“Shut up, Tank!” Wells and Carter yelled together. He was following them carrying the stand for the TV in front of him.
Tank had a sheepish look on his face as he passed Siah. “Bree and Barbie, just pulled up with Jack behind them. They stopped to pick up the food you ordered.”
“Fantastic. This is the last load from the apartment?” Siah thought it was but he wasn’t completely sure. A voice he’d never heard answered him from the door.
“They said it was when I helped carry out the last few boxes.” Siah turned and looked at the guy standing in his doorway. He was maybe five-six, built like a brick shithouse, dirty-blond hair. His biceps were flexing as he held the box in his hands.
“You must be Briar.” See Siah be a good boy. Where was his treat?
“Put that box over in the corner, Briar.” Oh there was his treat. Carter came up behind Siah and kissed his spot. “Come meet, Siah.”
The guy walked over and wiped his hands on his jeans before holding one out. “Briar Mason.”
Taking a deep breath, Siah shook his hand. “Josiah Kent. Please come in.” Just then Bree and Jack pushed in.
“Move! Move! This is hot!” Jack was moving faster than Siah had seen him off the mat in a long time. Jack preferred slow unless he was on the mat.
“I told you I’d take that, Jack,” Barbie said as she entered, carrying nothing.
“How did you end up empty handed?” Siah asked.
“Luck, my friend, pure luck.” She walked over and kissed first Siah’s
then Carter’s cheeks. “Let’s eat!”
§ § § §
Why were they watching Titanic? Oh yeah, Siah and Jack lost a bet with Bree about planking so now they were all being tortured. Swear to God, Siah was going to be planking forever to make this up to him. Tonight was the night he really needed to be distracted by some shooting. Why couldn’t they be watching Justice League or Dead Pool? At least the boat would sink soon and things would move faster.
Siah was curled up against Carter in Carter’s oversized chair he insisted on bringing with him. It was in good shape and matched Siah’s furniture. Carter couldn’t count how many times he’d fallen asleep in the chair. Amazingly, the mil-crew — as Bree started calling Wells, Randolph and Tank— were engrossed in the movie. Carter would have thought they’d be bored out of their minds.
Briar showing up had shocked the shit out of him. Carter had written him off after he never answered any of Carter’s calls, texts, emails or letters. Okay, maybe he’d gone a little wild trying to get Briar to talk to him but he’d been his best friend. He’d thought Briar would at least listen to his side before taking his sister’s. Carter had conveniently forgotten Briar had a blind spot for what his sister did or said.
Carter looked across the room and Briar was sitting on the floor against the couch. He kept shifting, like he couldn’t get comfortable. He’d changed in the last few years. He’d bulked up quite a bit and he’d cut his hair short. I just couldn’t send him on his way when he’d showed up, no matter how much he’d hurt me. He just… Briar would always have a place in Carter’s heart. Oh he’d never loved him as anything other than a brother from another mother. They hadn’t had a chance to talk privately but maybe tomorrow? Briar was going to sack on the couch tonight.
He tuned back into the movie and — thank all that was holy— the ship was underwater. Yes! Almost done. He looked over at the couch and… the hell? Randolph wasn’t watching the movie after all. He was staring at Briar? It had been kind of cool back at the apartment when he’d gone all protective of Carter. He knew Randolph considered him a good friend, he just hadn’t realized how much he did matter to him. Carter was going to need to talk to the mil-crew and tell them he was getting out. He just hoped it didn’t change their friendship too much.
