She had to find some way to support herself. She’d been able to put it off while her father had been ill, but she needed to face the situation head-on. Tomorrow. She’d been through enough today.
She’d find a way to remember her father without all the indiscretions he’d admitted to. He’d apologized profusely for the risky investments, gambling, and women. All things she had never realized were a part of his life. She’d forgiven him everything, because really, what good would it do to blame a dying man for mistakes that were hers as well?
Jake acted as if he’d predicted the downfall. Maybe that’s what she’d sensed in him all along, his knowledge of her father’s issues, probably using them to his advantage to take control of the firm. If he’d truly been her father’s friend, he would’ve told her, would’ve helped her father get the help he needed before things were so far gone no one could rectify the situation. Instead, he’d lain in wait, ready to tear it all to pieces like a marauder.
She gazed out the window of the car, her eyes heavy as she took in the planes and angles of the home she loved. Her father had designed and built it as a wedding present to her mother. Her own personal Taj Mahal. Both her parents had died within its walls, and too soon, she’d have to leave her memories of them here. She prayed selling it would cover the debt. But she knew she’d never get enough money to make up for what the house was worth to her.
Jake pulled open the car door, startling her from her trance. She’d been doing that too much lately, her mind never staying clear long enough for her to move forward without getting stuck.
“It’s a beautiful home, Lily. I know you love it.”
She climbed from the car and shrugged. “I don’t know anything else. It’ll be gone soon. Gone to me, at least.”
“If that’s what you want,” he said, as if she had any choice in the matter.
She followed him up the stone steps, steps she’d waited on every day as a little girl for her father to come home from work. “If I could, I would keep the house. All of my memories are here.”
“Memories live in your heart, angel, not in the house.” He slid a key she didn’t know he had into the lock and opened the door.
“I hope you’re right. But please, don’t talk to me about the house. Not today. If you have any heart at all, not today.”
“You don’t think I’m heartless.” He held the door open, a wicked grin playing on his handsome face.
“Honestly, I don’t think of you at all.” She stepped past him, wishing he would go away. She shrugged out of her coat and laid it on the upholstered bench in the foyer. She’d sat on that bench her entire life when putting on her shoes.
“You only wish that were true.”
She turned to face him and saw the corner of his mouth quivering as if he were trying not to laugh at her. Just like everyone else. “What I wish is for—”
“Lily, you’re home.”
She spun at the sound of the warm voice, watching another of her home’s fixtures come toward her. Emmaline had a kind smile and a helmet of gray curls. She’d come to the family as a baby nurse and had never left. But now, Emmaline was another thing Lily couldn’t afford to keep.
The older woman’s eyes were reddened, her lips chapped. Lily went to her instinctively and held her close. She needed to be near someone who understood what she’d lost wasn’t a game, but an entire life. Her throat began to ache, and tears prickled her lids, but she wouldn’t let a tear fall where anyone could see.
“Emmaline, will you bring some coffee into the den and a sandwich for Lily?” Jake hung both of their coats in the coat closet, as if he planned to stay. “I don’t think she’s eaten anything today.”
Lily turned back to Jake, her fingers itching to slap him. He had to know she wanted to be left alone. Couldn’t he see Emmaline was grieving and didn’t need to be fetching anything.
“Of course, Mr. Tolliver.” Emmaline smiled at him as she always did. For some reason, she’d taken a liking to Jake from the beginning.
Once they were alone again, she spoke her mind. “What I eat is none of your business. And I don’t want you ordering Emmaline about. Not today. She hates funerals, or she would’ve been with me. And I have no intention of going into the den.”
The den had been her father’s sanctuary. Part home office, part study, and generally his favorite place to be. She hadn’t gone in there since the day he’d collapsed and she realized everything had changed.
“There are things we need to discuss. Alone.”
“I don’t want to be alone with you. And I trust Emmaline completely.”
“As do I. But there are things she does not need to know, things you may not want her to.” He stepped closer, his expression darkening. Her breath caught in her throat, and she fought the urge to back up. Enough people gave in to him. She would not be another.
He shook his head and walked faster, down the hall and into the den, leaving her the choice to follow or not.
Chapter Three
Jake stood looking out the window, the late-afternoon sunlight softening the hard planes of his handsome face. Lily steeled herself against the reaction, focusing on what she knew rather than what she saw. He was raw power and driving determination. The attractive veneer drew women, appealed to them until he got what he wanted and moved on.
He’d never brought any of them to the house, but she’d seen pictures of him at events with them, heard stories she wanted to forget. He had a penchant for famous and successful women. Actresses, activists, and businesswomen who showcased the same polished perfection he did. He didn’t stay with any of them long, but they never seemed to completely disappear from his life, either. It was as if once they fell for him, they couldn’t quite manage to get up.
She knew she’d never be able to forget him. Every time his diamond-hard eyes were trained on her, an edgy sensation swirled through her, like her clothes had been stripped off and left her completely bare to him. He looked at her like he knew secrets she didn’t even know she held.
Curiosity wasn’t enough to make her drop her guard. Like all illicit things, knowing better only deepened her fascination. Having him so often at the house, in her space, brought a temptation more difficult than any test she’d ever aced. Making it all the more important she keep her distance from a man who always got what he wanted, no matter who it hurt.
Jake turned, his expression completely unreadable. “You’re pale, Lily. You need to eat something. You can’t afford to lose any more weight.”
“I can’t afford much of anything, now can I?” Her voice rose too high and thin to show any semblance of control.
Jake didn’t so much as blink. “Then you best eat now, don’t you think?”
As if on cue, Emmaline came through the door carrying a tray of coffee and food and set it on the dark walnut coffee table. She didn’t stay, probably to avoid the palpable tension in the room.
Lily perched on the arm of the leather sofa, knowing she should eat but not wanting to. It was petty and childish, but she didn’t want to set a precedent and do what he told her. She should be grateful for all he’d done, but she didn’t want to thank him and open a door she might run through. Too wrapped up in grief’s dark embrace, her emotions were a tangle she couldn’t begin to comb out today.
“I’m not talking until you eat something.” Jake turned his back to her, perusing the wall of bookshelves teeming with volumes her father had collected. Lily’s chest tightened at the realization she wouldn’t be able to keep any of them, either.
“Promise? Because if you won’t talk, there’s no point in you staying here. I doubt there’s anything you’ll say that Dad didn’t tell me. He was very up front with how things would be once he was gone.”
“Was he, angel? I doubt that.” Jake didn’t show any reaction to her bitter tone. “Eat something.”
“Stop telling me what to do.” Her voice nearly broke as she hurled the words at him. “Why do you insist on reminding me I have nothing? I buri
ed my father today. Can’t you leave me alone?”
Her voice grew higher and tighter until finally it broke, anguish winning. She tried to hide her face in her shoulder as the determination to stay strong dissolved under the weight of unshed tears. Her throat thickened, world darkened as the dam burst and the stress of the day pummeled what was left of her constraint.
It was all too much. She didn’t even have it in her to resist as Jake slid next to her on the couch. Turning to him for comfort was absurd, but there hadn’t been anyone who’d gotten this close to her since she’d learned of her father’s diagnosis. She’d wanted to be held each time she’d been kicked on the way to rock bottom. But there’d been no one to turn to, no one to ease the burden.
The people she went to school with had never understood her relationship with her father, and others were concerned her father’s scandal might somehow rub off on them. She’d never imagined she could feel this abandoned.
The overflow of emotions poured out of her, sobs racking her body until she was truly spent. Her head pounded from crying. Her throat was tight and raw. The sensations pulled her back from the abyss to find Jake pressing his handkerchief into her hand. She sat up with a jolt, reality hitting like a slap.
“Oh hell. I’ve ruined you.” His shirt was wet with tears and streaked with mascara and the makeup she’d applied to hide the dark shadows beneath her eyes.
“You have indeed.” He plucked at the material, pulling it away from his skin.
She covered her face with the cool linen, not wanting to think about how she must look—childish, weak, incapable of taking care of herself. She swallowed hard and wiped her face.
“I’m sorry I broke down. I don’t—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re grieving, angel. You’ve lost a lot. It’s normal to mourn.” He reached out, tucking a lock of blond hair behind her ear.
With one arm still around her, and his touch so gentle, she nearly believed he was a different person. Part of her wanted to get up and run, but another part needed for someone else to be strong for a moment, for someone else to hold the world on their shoulders until she could manage on her own again.
“How old were you when your mother died?”
“Four.” She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the tears from returning.
“That’s why feeling like this is such a surprise to you. You don’t remember what it’s like to lose someone with so little warning. Even when you know it’s inevitable, it’s still devastating to lose a parent.”
“You sound like you know.”
He nodded in response, and her stomach did a funny somersault as he began to speak.
“My mother went slowly, but it still came as a shock.”
“How old were you?”
“Twenty-one. Just finishing up undergrad. It made me realize how short life could be. She wasn’t even forty. She never got around to doing half the things she’d wanted to do with her life. I knew I couldn’t live that way. If I wanted something, I’d get it as quickly as possible.” He turned his intent gaze on her, but she looked away, focusing on the sunset outside the window.
“And your father?”
“I wish he were dead. He never made life easy for either of us, drinking every dime she ever made.”
“I’m sorry.” Her fingers inched toward him involuntarily. She caught the movement before she did something truly stupid like try to hold his hand.
“Don’t be. I’ve almost forgotten ever feeling that way. The stress of the day must have gotten to us both. Usually, I’m put off by crying.”
He released her and rose, walked to the coffee table, and poured himself a cup.
“I didn’t ask for you to watch me.”
“Of course not.” He poured cream into the mug and then added a spoon of sugar. It wasn’t until he handed it to her that she realized he knew how she took her coffee. “If you won’t eat, at least drink the coffee. Then we can discuss what’s next.”
Lily took a sweet sip. “I can’t imagine what we’d talk about.”
“We’ve talked more today than we have in the entire time I’ve known you. Perhaps we’re setting a precedent.”
“There is nothing to say that hasn’t been said.” She set her mug on the table.
“Despite his indiscretions, Will was a good friend and my partner. I’m accountable for you. We need to discuss what your plans are.”
Closing her eyes, she drew in a fortifying breath. It wasn’t his business, but he’d never let it rest until she told him. Lily stretched her lips into what she hoped looked like a smile. “You don’t have to worry about me, no matter how accountable you feel. When the house sells, I’ll get a job and find an apartment. If the debts aren’t settled, I’ll work out a payment plan.”
Jake leaned against the mahogany desk, his gaze set firmly on her. His lips twisted into a grin. “And?”
“This may be a joke to you, but it’s what I’m left with. I’m doing the best I can.”
“Considering you’re completely unprepared to take care of yourself.”
She bristled more at his condescending tone than his patronizing words. “Pardon me if I didn’t plan on having my father’s tiredness turn out to be pancreatic cancer. Excuse me for not working his hidden gambling addiction into a tidy schedule. Forgive me for never guessing he liked to spend money on women who—”
“Stop it, Lily. I’m not in the mood for theatrics. They don’t suit you.”
“You’re expecting me to justify myself to you, and when I do, you belittle me.”
“I’m trying to show you where you stand in the world.”
“Thanks so much for your concern.” The sarcasm in her voice was as thick as motor oil. “I know what it looks like when the news snippets are stitched together.”
“That will fade. The stories were only picked up because of your father’s connection to me. The debts have been paid, so they’ll move on to the next scandal.”
She’d never once heard him tell a joke, but he must be kidding. “How did the debts disappear? His portion of the firm and the house weren’t likely to cover it.”
Jake settled into the leather armchair, stretching his long legs in front of him as if he owned the place. “Do you remember last week when I spent the afternoon with your father? Taylor came, too, the lawyer you were with today at the service.”
Lily could barely nod as a chill snaked down her spine. She reached for the arm of the couch, needing something to ground her.
“I made sure he could go in peace, knowing you were taken care of and his mistakes wouldn’t fall on your shoulders.”
His words should have soothed her, let her know her father’s inner turmoil had been calmed, but there was something more. The air seemed to be sucked away, like the water on the shore before a tsunami.
“Just like I bought him out of the firm, I settled his debts as well.”
“But his share of the business wasn’t worth nearly enough to cover everything.”
“I also bought the house.”
Her stomach knotted, her pulse racing as she clenched her cold and damp hands. She itched to slap him. She stood, not caring if her legs would hold her. She couldn’t sit still a minute longer.
“Did you get what you wanted? You took everything, everything he worked for. I knew you had an agenda the first time you came here. No one would listen. That’s why you’re always watching me, because I saw what you were doing. You must have known about his weaknesses, so you got in, got close, and waited for the attack. Where is the glory in beating a man on his deathbed?”
Jake rose slowly from the chair and stepped toward her so his height and large frame blocked out everything else in the room. Anger flared on his face, his dark eyes icy pools in the middle of the fire.
“Don’t, Lily. I won’t be painted the villain so you can put your father back on his pedestal. I didn’t tell him to invest in Ponzi schemes that would steal from his friends, sell him a yacht that never lef
t the harbor, introduce him to the women.”
Her face pinched, her forehead scrunched so tightly it ached. His words cut deeper than any knife. She turned, but he grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him.
“The women are what bother you, aren’t they?”
She lifted her chin in defiance, but when she spoke, her voice cracked in anguish. “He loved my mother.”
“Yes, he did. And you look like her. He talked about her as if she were still alive, her picture on his desk, in his wallet, tattooed on his heart. Losing her is why he needed to escape.”
“But why didn’t he ever date?”
“He couldn’t have someone in his life that mattered. There was no room.” Jake released her and paced to the end of the room and back. “He wasn’t afraid to die, just panicked to leave you. I agreed to everything he asked of me. This is your home, and it always will be.”
She shook her head. “The house is yours. I’ll pack my things and be gone first thing tomorrow.”
Jake sighed and shrugged, obviously not caring at all what she did. “That’s your choice. But before you go, you should know he asked something else of me.”
“What else could there be?”
“He asked me to marry you.”
Chapter Four
Jake had run this conversation through in his mind a half dozen ways, and in none of them had Lily gone white and fainted dead away. At least she hadn’t hit her head on the way down. Jake gathered her in his arms and set on the leather couch. He held her tightly for a moment, hating that she either had to be crying or unconscious to let him lay a hand on her.
He pressed his face into her cascade of pale-gold hair and breathed in the sweet floral scent she wore. He’d dreamed of holding her this close, but in his dreams she’d been conscious and willing.
“Open your eyes, Sleeping Beauty, or I’ll kiss you awake.”
A soft noise came from her throat as she began to stir. He laid her back against the arm of the couch and got up so he wouldn’t be tempted. Her eyes fluttered open as he stood.
The Billionaire's Reluctant Fiancee (Invested in Love) Page 2
