“N-Not here, okay?” I squirm, feeling uncomfortable.
I don’t want anyone to hear us, even if it’s not really an argument.
“I can’t kiss you in front of your family? Pretty sure your brother and sisters heard us having sex in your childhood bedroom far more often than they saw us holding hands,” he says, and Noah laughs at the other end of the table where he’s feeding the baby.
I whip my eyes to the kitchen island, where everyone else is congregating, but that wolf pack is none the wiser to Jason’s inappropriate comment.
“Will you be quiet? There are kids around!” I whisper-admonish him.
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not mounting you, darling. I simply wanted to hold your waist. But I guess PDA is something you learned to cut out in New York?”
There is an aggression in his voice that undercuts the easiness of his gaze. Oh, I see. He thinks that I don’t want to show off our relationship because … what? I’m some posh Manhattanite now? That’s not really it at all. No, I don’t want to kiss and hug in front of my family because, well, I just got out of a four-year relationship. And it feels extremely quick to be jumping into another one, even though we all know the history Jason and I share.
A part of me just feels slutty. I know I shouldn’t; I mean, I hadn’t even been physical with Perry for over two months before we broke up. But for women, and especially for me, physical intimacy is way more about emotions than it is just the act of sex. To launch into that with another man so closely on the heels of a long-term relationship ending? I just don’t want to cheapen anything that Jason and I have.
“No, it’s something that …” I trail off, not wanting to do this in front of people. “Come here.”
I grab him by the elbow, pulling him into the hall. The noise of the kitchen dulls to a small roar, and Jason and I are alone.
“I just don’t want to rush head over heels into things. I want to be with you. I’m with you every night. We still have a lot to figure out though, and I don’t want to make the mistakes we did in the past. Getting into things too fast, being hasty.”
Deep down, I am still wrecked by my decision to move in with him as a teenager. It had been impulsive, and I’d lost the last months I could have had with my mama every day.
Jason must see that in my eyes, because he nods, doing nothing but running a hand up my arm. “Okay.”
I shake my head, feeling the need to apologize. “I’m sorry, it’s just … it’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks.”
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s go have a fun dinner.” But I can see in his expression that I’ve poured cold water on the tiny ember that was burning in his chest.
We walk back into the dining room, which is attached to Adeline’s kitchen, but I feel the mood between us has dampened a bit.
Everyone begins to take their seats as Brad and Adeline bring the food to the table. The kids are set at a card table, their folding or mismatched chairs bunched around it. They’re all talking excitedly over one and other, and us seven adults, plus the baby, sit at the big dining table just chuckling at them.
“Remember when life was just that simple?” Noah smiles fondly.
“The other day, Vincent was arguing with a friend about whether mint chocolate chip or cookie dough was a better flavor. You’d think it was a national emergency, the way they were debating.” Brad digs in, the table looking like a full Thanksgiving buffet.
Hope divvies up most of the kid’s food, dumping plates on the table while the little savages shovel it into their mouths.
Jason sips his beer and then starts serving himself once most everyone has food on their plate. “To be fair, that is a healthy debate. Hope you went with cookie dough, Vince?”
He yells over his shoulder to the kid’s table, and Vincent gives him a thumbs-up. “All the way, Jay!”
I saw how my siblings’ kids worship Jason in the hour leading up to dinner. He wrestled with them, talked about the local little league teams, and even helped Delilah with her latest boy problem. If that didn’t make him the ultimate dreamboat, I’m not sure what did.
Glancing at him, I take in his side profile. Dark scruff marks his cheek, and that strong jawline is one I’ve been becoming quite familiar with again tics up in a smile at something Noah says. His long lashes kiss his cheeks, and I can see the slightest sliver of that baby blue iris. I don’t let my eyes wander too much, because getting hot and bothered at the dinner table would be a bit inappropriate, but I also know what he’s packing under the table.
The man is a god, and he’s good with kids? Honestly, I’m not going to be able to resist him for much longer.
Not that I’m not head over heels in love with him. I think that fact was established the minute I stepped foot back in town. But I haven’t told him yet, and I’m not sure how much longer I can keep the words at bay.
“Speaking of ice cream, remember when y’all broke into the freezer in high school and attempted to steal that gallon of Neapolitan?” Hope begins to giggle to herself, pointing at Jason and me.
I have to physically cover my mouth to keep from spitting out my wine. I begin to choke, and Jason just looks at me, hysterically laughing over what’s happening now and the memory of then.
“Oh my God, I forgot about that!” Adeline cries. “I think you guys dragged it like three hallways over and began trying to give people spoonful’s at their lockers. Principal Magnus was madder than a pissed on chicken!”
“Then it started melting all over the place, didn’t someone slip and ruin their entire outfit?” Lori asks.
I finally swallow my wine, gasping for air. “Christy Wright. She had chocolate ice cream all over the back of her cheerleading uniform. It was hilarious.”
“We were delinquents, huh? Why did we even do that?” Jason’s eyes dance with amusement.
“You dared me to.” I shrug. “I don’t back down from a dare.”
He leans over to me and whispers, “I’ll have to keep that in mind.”
We discuss some of the memories from the good old days throughout dinner, and the night is one of happiness and family love.
When it’s time for dessert, half the room cheers with splendor.
“My wife makes the best pecan pie in the entire world.” Brad rubs his stomach, then pulls Adeline in for a sloppy kiss.
They really make a show of it, causing their kids to groan from the other side of the room, and the rest of the cousins to make gagging noises. It’s adorable and love fills my chest. I’ve missed this and didn’t even know I had it to miss. I try to push past the sadness that I was absent from these dinners for a long time and focus on the fact that there will be many more to come.
As Adeline sets the pies on the table, and Lori comes in with the pints of ice cream, I slide my hand into Jason’s under the table. His fingers lace between mine, and our grips cement.
It’s out of sight; no one would know we’re showing affection, but it’s the thought of it. I’m bending just a bit, showing Jason how much I want to work on this.
How much I want him.
Jason squeezes my hand and gives me a small smile. He knows I’m trying, and right now, that’s all we can do.
33
Savannah
When Jason tells me he’s taking me on a date, I’m almost too speechless to say yes.
“You know, we’ve never been on a date before?” I remark as he winds his old truck through dark, moonlit roads.
Jason reaches over, clasping my hand in his. “Hey, you know … you’re right.”
“I guess we were always too young to really understand that concept. Now teenage me wishes I played harder to get before I let you touch my boobs.” I chuckle.
He shrugs, the headlights cutting past a sign that I can’t read. And then the car is climbing up a steep hill, and I have a feeling I know where we’re going.
“I promise, I’ll make all of those group hangs and seven-person movie dates up to you.” His fingers squeeze mine.
When we coast to the top, the big tasting barn comes into view, and my suspicions are confirmed. “You took me to your winery?”
“Don’t sound so unimpressed, you have no idea what I have set up.” There is a mischievous twinkle in those blue eyes as he gets out.
Rounding the hood, yelling at me to stay in the car, he makes it to my door as I get my seatbelt off. Jason opens it for me, helping me out as I smooth my floaty white sundress. It’s pretty, falling to mid-thigh with cap sleeves, and never the type of thing I’d wear in New York. It makes me feel all of my country roots, and I kind of love it.
“I’ll admit, it is beautiful up here. I still can’t believe you own this place.” Jason takes my hand, leading me to the front of the building.
I glance up at the stars and marvel at the quiet. A couple of months back in Hale, and I’m still not used to how silent the woods are, or how bright the night sky is.
“Me and the hefty loan the bank gave me.” Jason winks, and we walk across the darkened tasting room.
“Are we the only ones here?” I ask, glancing around the gigantic place.
“Yep. I told you, no more group hang dates.”
Then we’re outside again, the balmy night air heating against my skin. I feel utterly alone out here with him, which is kind of a turn on. Why is it that the possibility of having sex somewhere other than a bedroom or inside your house, shower, couch, etc., is more enticing? It’s like, if you’re in an empty movie theater, there is always some kind of charged sexual tension.
That’s when I see them. Dozens of tiny, flickering candles outlining a picnic blanket in the middle of the vines.
“Oh, Jason,” I breathe, because it might just be the most romantic sight I’ve ever seen.
He comes up behind me, hugging my waist, and rests his chin on my shoulder. “You didn’t think I’d skimp on our first date, did you?”
“When did you set this all up?” My voice is a whisper.
“I have my ways. Want to go sit down?”
We walk hand in hand over to the blanket where there is a cheese board and, of course, wine laid out. Jason helps me sit, and then picks up a bottle of red, uncorking it, before he sits down.
“Do you want a glass?” He offers me a pour.
“Do you even have to ask?” I hold up the glass that’s next to me.
Dark red liquid stains the inside of it, and my mouth practically waters. “How did you decide which blends you wanted to make?”
“What are you, a sommelier?” He smirks.
Shrugging, I sniff the wine in my glass. “I’ve been to some great wineries in Italy. Napa, too. I’ve become interested in it. It’s still surreal to me that you’re a vineyard owner.”
Jason pours himself a glass and considers my question. “I did a lot of studying, too. Took courses for about a year before going in to get my loan, and I take continuing ed all the time now. I want to move before the industry does, be up on the latest methods and blends so that I can keep ahead of the curve. I don’t just want to succeed financially, I really want this place to be something. A gem in Hale, some place that people come miles just to visit and relax at.”
I take my first drink of the wine, and sample some of the cheese and pepper jelly. “Well, whatever you’re doing, it’s damn good.”
We take a break from talking to eat as much charcuterie as our bellies will hold. Jason has picked all the right meats, cheeses and accoutrements to go with the wine, and as we sit between the vines, I think I fall more in love.
“So, this is the best date you’ve been on, right?” He puffs his chest out.
I tap a finger to my chin, pretending to think. “Hmm, I think it ranks up there.”
“He could never do something this romantic.” Jason pouts.
I roll my eyes. “What is this, a pissing contest?”
“You were with the guy for a long time.”
“And now I’m here with you. I picked you, Jason, that’s all you need to know. It’s not like I want to know about the women you were with while I was gone.”
The thought makes me see red.
“Has he called?” Jason asks, and I know he doesn’t want to ask but more needs to know.
I shake my head. “No. He’s … well, to be honest, it was more like ending a business relationship than a romantic one. I shouldn’t be saying this to you, but I think that makes me more upset than anything.”
And I won’t say this to Jason, because it’s not proper, but it makes me so angry at myself that I was in a committed relationship with someone who can’t even give me a frown as I’m ending things. Perry and I have not talked since that night, nor since I left New York, and I know we won’t. Probably ever again. In four years, we had no joint property, no children, not even a toothbrush that was left at his place. When I broke things off, he didn’t so much as bat an eyelash, even though I could tell he was upset. I could never respect, or be with a man who didn’t at least put up an objection.
“The day I packed my things, you gave me so much hell. You fought for us, even when I couldn’t.” I remember now, my mind traveling back to that day.
“It was the worst day of my life. Even after my injury, and your mama dying … knowing you were leaving me was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t do anything to stop it that I didn’t already try. I begged, I pleaded. I think I even went into our room and pulled out a ring to get down on one knee.”
I played that scene over and over in my mind so many times. Jason hobbling in his full leg boot, trying to rip clothes out of my hand and stuff them back into my drawers. He was irate, upset, and guilt was painted all over his face. The agony in his voice, how he kept repeating, “I love you” over and over again.
It shatters my heart, even now.
But one detail makes a small smile form on my lips. “You pulled out a toe ring, I remember that. You tried to propose to me with a fifty-cent toe ring I got at the flea market.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t accept it.” He presses a kiss to my cheek, sinking down to lie back on his elbows.
There is an awkward silence, because we’re talking about marriage and a half-assed proposal, and here we are all these years later. I haven’t yet told Jason exactly how I feel, that I’m in love with him still, and that if he asked now … I’d say yes.
“Let’s focus on us,” I say, sinking down next to him.
I maneuver the cheese tray off of the blanket and set my wineglass down next to it. “In fact, I don’t feel like talking much anymore.”
And as I swing my leg over his waist, pulling myself up to straddle him, Jason doesn’t look like he’s much up for talking either.
34
Jason
The candles twinkle around us as Savannah straddles me, her wild strawberry hair swinging like a curtain over her face.
I push it back, sweeping my palms over her cheeks, and pull her down for a kiss. Our wineglasses are somewhere, possibly spilling into the fabric of the blanket and staining our clothes, but neither of us seem to care too much.
“Would it be cheesy to tell you that this is a fantasy of mine?” I whisper against her lips before invading her mouth with my tongue.
Savannah kisses me back, slowly, lazily, milking the most heated of responses from my cock. I’m rigid beneath her, positioned at the very apex of her thighs. All that keeps us apart is her underwear and my pants, and it seems too thin a barrier. I need it gone, now.
“What, tackling a hot girl between your vines?” She chuckles.
Shaking my head, I push my hands under her dress where it’s pooled around my hips. My hands find her ass cheeks, and I knead them, causing Savannah to nearly fall against my chest in a wispy moan.
“No, my fantasy has always been to lead you out into the vines alone. Lay you down, make love to you so slowly and erotically that you’d be breathing my name in your lungs forever after. Maybe fall onto some grapes, get you sticky in every place I desired.”
; She just blinks at me, lust so heavy in her eyes that I think she might maul me.
Pushing the gauzy fabric of her dress up, up, up and over her head, I help her wriggle free as she sits astride me.
“Your body … it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” I breathe, sitting up to bring my lips to the curve of her breast.
Savannah can only groan in frustration, trying to push her nipple up farther so that I suck it between my teeth.
I fan my breath across her skin, inhaling the sweet scent of her, as I work the buttons on my own shirt open. I want to feel her skin to skin. She pushes it off my shoulders, the night air greeting my flesh.
Finally, after teasing her for what feels like an eternity, I sink my teeth into her nipple, laving it with my tongue.
“Jason,” she groans, wrapping her arms around my shoulders so as to push my head farther into her breasts.
With her sitting on top of me, it’s all I can do to try to wiggle out of my pants. Savannah undoes my belt, all while I kiss every inch of her upper body. We work together to pull each other’s clothes off, and when she finally pushes my boxers down, my cock springs free.
“I forgot how much I liked this. I’ve loved getting reacquainted.” Her smile is devilish as she pumps me in her hand, sitting on my thighs.
My head falls back as she works me, cupping my balls while her thumb hits my tip in the exact right way.
And when I feel her hold me still, moving up my body until her hands rest on my chest like she’s about to ride me, I stop her.
“Let me warm you up,” I beg, not just for her.
I want to taste her so badly, I ache for it. But Savannah shakes her head. “I don’t need it. I want you inside me.”
Reaching down, testing with a lazy, wandering finger, I tease the hot apex between her thighs. She’s soaking wet, and before either of us can say another word, I lift her up, sinking her down onto my throbbing cock.
That's the Way I Loved You Page 15
