He turned to face me, his eyes bright. “What makes you so special, huh?”
I shrugged. “No idea.”
He stared at me for a long beat, and I met his gaze levelly. He was first to break the connection.
“I was just so fucking mad, at him, at you, I don’t know. He protected you! I don’t understand what makes your life more valuable that Vanessa’s.”
“Neither do I, Henry, but they obviously think differently. When I find out why, I promise I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I’d really like it if we could be friends.”
He nodded. “Bar could do with a good wipe down, we had a Slugar from Enchansa in last night. I couldn’t get all the mucus off.”
“I said friends, Henry!”
His lips twitched. “That’s why I’m giving you the bar and not the dried vomit patch on the floor to the right of the bar.”
“In that case . . . thanks.”
We set to work.
The shift went smoothly. Slowly but surely, Henry warmed up until he was the same guy I’d met on my first shift. It was amazing what results a direct approach to a problem could achieve.
I caught the odd glimpse of Freya when she came in for her break and then went out again. I knew she worked the door, but I wasn’t really sure what that meant. I resolved to ask Henry about it, but then it got really busy. Patrons started pouring it. The Ambassadors must have left, and the Shadows hovering over the wards must have drifted away because this was the busiest I’d ever seen the place. I didn’t see any inhuman-looking Shadowlanders, although there were a couple of pale, slender males that reminded me of Jiva.
I caught a glimpse of orange as Remus wove toward the exit. The crowd closed in and I lost sight of him.
I was mixing a drink when someone screamed. A murmur rippled through the crowd, and everyone surged toward the only window in the place, shoving at the thick drapes to get a look outside.
Cries of alarm filled the air.
“What the hell?” Henry moved around the bar to the exit.
After a beat, I followed, forgetting about Cal, forgetting about anything.
We had to push our way through to get to the door, and then I was stepping over the threshold.
A bellow erupted behind me, but I was too captivated by the scene before me; Freya, on her knees, mouth open, screaming and screaming as she watched a Shadow whirl and whirl and whirl around . . . something . . . a flash of orange.
Remus!
Her words finally registered.“Stop it! Stop it! Let him go!”
I glanced up at the sky. The wards? What the hell? How was this possible?
A shriek ripped the air. It was Remus, in pain, dying. The Shadow was killing him! An ache rose up in my chest, a gnawing in the pit of my stomach.
What I did next was either very brave or incredibly stupid. I’m not sure which, because I didn’t really think it through. I just acted. Breaking away from the sanctuary of the building, I ran full pelt at the Shadow. The strange need erupted into a fire as I drove my arms into the inky blackness until they were submerged up to the shoulders.
Then came the delicious heat, riding my veins, climbing up and up until it hit the centre of my brain and sent shockwaves of pleasure through my body. My core contracted and throbbed, a euphoric pulse, a pleasure unlike anything I’d ever felt. It fizzed and popped, the blood roared in my ears, and then it was over.
I slumped to my knees, trembling yet energised. My vision blurred then sharpened as I looked down on Remus’s unconscious form. Every pore, every hair stood out in super detail.
I was vaguely aware of the shouts and cries around me. The world was a pleasant haze, a rollercoaster that I was riding. It felt amazing but I had to leave. I had to . . . do something? Someone was calling me.
“—you do that? Ash? Ash! Come on, we need to get inside, it’s not safe! Please!”
A persistent tugging on my arm forced me to lift my chin and look up.
Blue, beautiful winking blue. “Freya?”
Then I was rising up, up on something hard and unyielding.
“Her hands! Look at her hands!”
Darkness is pleasant.
ASH
“—saw it with your own eyes?”
“Everyone saw it, Avery.” Cal?
“I assume that’s being taken care of.” That was Jiva.
“We’re in lockdown while Viola prepares the spell. A special stew to erase the past few hours,” Cal said.
“I guess working for the Hag had its advantages,” Avery said. “Go, keep an eye on things.”
I heard the door close, then opened my eyes, wide awake and alert. The fuzzies had vanished, and I felt like I needed to bounce off the walls.
“I do believe our little Shadow Eater is awake,” Avery said.
I sat up and took in my surroundings. I recognised the room. It was Avery’s office. I was on a cushy, long sofa. I swung my legs off it, planted my feet on the ground, and stood. I felt like . . . like I could take on the world. It took a conscious effort to remain still. I stared at Avery, taking in every glorious, highly defined detail, including the magnificent rainbow wings that rose from his shoulders.
“What’s wrong with her?” Avery asked.
“I believe she may be . . . intoxicated,” Jiva said. His shadow fell over me, and then his pale fingers were grasping my hands and pulling me to face him. “Look at your hands, human.”
I glanced down at my hands, clasped in his, and balked. They were covered from wrist to fingertip in intricate black whorls and swirls. I pulled my hands from his grasp and rubbed at the markings.
“They won’t come off,” I said.
I looked up at him in confusion, needing him to explain what was happening to me, but he was . . . shining, actually glowing and there was something else, a halo of light at his back . . . wings? I forgot about my hands.
“You have wings too?”
Jiva stepped back, his expression closed. He glanced at Avery, who smirked.
“Why did you go outside, human? Why help Remus?” Avery asked.
Oh, shit. Was he going to make my leaving the building an issue? “Look, I’m sorry I went outside. I know you said I shouldn’t leave, but I’m sure you know I had no intention of taking off. I just couldn’t let those fucking Shadows have Remus. I figured I’d scare them off like before when I saved Bernie.”
Jiva cocked his head. “Really? Is that what you . . . figured?”
“Speak truthfully, human. Why did you do it? Why risk your life for a Lepre you barely know? I can understand you risking your life for your friend, but Remus is nothing to you.”
I wanted to argue that it was the humane thing to do, that they couldn’t possibly understand because they were so inhuman, but the lie stuck on my tongue. The truth was that I’d wanted to touch the Shadow. I’d yearned for it. I’d felt no fear, only a twisted hunger.
Avery was watching me through slitted eyes. “Well?”
“Fine, I wanted to touch the Shadow, okay!”
Jiva exhaled sharply and muttered something in a language I didn’t understand.
“What? Is that some kind of crime? I saved Remus, right? So we’re all good?” I looked to Avery because, even though I hadn’t thought it possible, Jiva had gone even paler and I didn’t think I was going to get anything useful off him right then.
Avery licked his lips and moved toward me, circling me like a scavenger. “A human. Can you believe it, Jiva? Wait till Daemon hears of this.”
“An anomaly.”
“No. A way out. A way back, maybe.”
“You wish to use her to finish what we could not?”
“She has our lost ability, Jiva. We need to capitalise on that. I refuse to believe that it’s a mere coincidence that she stumbled into our home.”
“The probability of such an event is indeed miniscule. I would almost believe that fate were playing her part.”
“Fate was lost to us eons ago, brother.”
I
listened to the exchange, my gaze bouncing back and forth between the two. I struggled with the desire to interrupt, desperately trying to piece all the information together. I listened, my brain whirring, heart pounding as I realised I may have the leverage I needed.
Finally, they finished and fixed their attention back on me. Jiva’s cheeks were now flushed and my hopes rose further. They bloody needed me. I wasn’t a dud. The how and why could be examined later. Right now I needed to strike while the iron was hot, while they were still reeling with this amazing revelation.
“So, you used to consume Shadows?” I asked.
Avery nodded. “Yes, but in our time, they weren’t Shadows, they were dreams, nightmares, and it was our job to consume them.
Dream Eaters, Viola had said.
“We lost the ability a long time ago when the fabric of our world was altered. The dreams and nightmares became twisted, hungry; they fell into darkness, became Shadows, and the Shadowlands became infested.”
“So where did they come from?”
“From us, from every Shadowlander and every human. Our dreams began to spawn Shadows and we were powerless to fight back, until now.”
“So, basically, what you’re saying is that you need my help.”
Once again, Avery and Jiva exchanged glances.
Avery was the one who responded. “Yes.”
Hope flared in my chest. They needed me to devour the Shadows for them, to help them make the Shadowlands a safer place. It could eventually benefit humanity too and, yeah, ’course I was up for it. But I needed something else first.
“I’ll help you. On one condition.”
Jiva sighed. “No.”
“What? You haven’t even heard my condition.”
“We don’t need to. We know what you want. We remember. But the only person who can take you there is Daemon, and nothing in this world or any other would ever compel him to return . . . we would never ask him for that.”
I can’t say I wasn’t intrigued as to why Daemon would never return, but I was more irritated than anything else. I mean, they wanted me to eat fucking Shadows for them. Still not sure how the hell that worked, by the way, but if they wanted me to do it, the least they could do was help me get my friend back.
“You can’t ask him or you won’t?”
“We won’t.”
“Fine, then no deal!” I crossed my arms and glared at them both.
Avery’s lips tightened. “You will do this, human, or you will die.”
“Fine, then kill me.”
Avery took a menacing step toward me, but Jiva stepped up to block him. “Ashling, that is your name isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Ashling, I will speak with Daemon and see what I can do.”
Avery grasped his arm. “Jiva!”
Jiva bowed his head. “We must all make sacrifices for the good of our people, Avery.”
Avery glared at me, his usually refined features harsh and cutthroat. “I say we bind her, make her do our bidding. She is merely a human!”
“A human who can do something we cannot. A binding will only work if the person is willing. Like we were willing.”
Avery released Jiva and stepped away, turning on his heel so his back was to us. “You would ask our brother for this, even though you know what it means?”
Jiva bowed his head. “A worthy sacrifice to fulfil the duty that we vowed to fulfil. I will speak with him and return shortly.”
I had no idea what they were jabbering on about. I cared only that I was one huge step closer to finding Bernie.
I watched as Jiva left the room, off to speak to Daemon, I expected, and then I was alone with Avery. I met his eyes and flinched at the simmering resentment in those startling blue depths. It turned them stormy and, frankly, it was kinda scary, but I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me anymore. I had something he needed. I had leverage. So I used it.
“Don’t look at me like that. What did you expect, huh? You don’t give a damn about us humans, so why the hell do you think we should care about you? You want something from me, then you need to give me something in return. Simple.”
“Removing the Shadows could save us all, humans and Shadowlanders,” he said. “Or are you too stupid to realise this?”
“I’m smart enough to realise that even if the Shadows were gone, we’d still have you to fear, your Traders and the Shadowlanders that mean us harm.” I could feel my cheeks heating with anger. “Yes, I know your kind trade us for sex and meat and labour. My kind won’t be safe until your kind is dead!” I finished, my chest rising and falling as if I’d run a mile.
Avery broke eye contact and fixed his gaze on a point over my left shoulder. It was inflammatory and damn annoying. I wanted to smack him. The buzzing energy inside me urged me to do just that, but I clenched my fists, nails digging into the palms of my hands, and waited.
Jiva would be back soon. Please let Jiva be back soon. Of the three of these former Dream Eaters, Jiva was the lesser of all evils. I wondered what he was, what his realm was like.
Avery moved across the room toward me, his jaw tight, eyes bright. I tensed, thinking that he was about to attack me, but he brushed past to his desk and picked up the stone thing. I strained to hear what he was saying but it was hard over the pulse in my ears.
The door opened and Cal entered. “Come with me,” he said.
I glanced over my shoulder at Avery, but he kept his back to me, wide shoulders tense.
“Now, Ashling,” Cal said.
Had Jiva failed to convince Daemon? What would happen now? I moved across the carpeted floor and out the door.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked.
“If you’re going to be going to Inferna, then you’ll need some appropriate clothing.”
CLAY
He was nothing but a ghost walking the corridors of Shelter. Work came his way and he’d do his duty. He’d sleep and wake and sleep and wake, the same pattern, going through the motions in his new life without his sister.
He hadn’t touched Blake. Not even a kiss. What was the point? Loving someone meant saying goodbye one day. Love was messed up. The Mother’s love wasn’t enough, no love was enough. It didn’t heal. It hurt. Love meant pain and loss.
Clay was in his workshop. The grow light project sat untouched. It was another thing he didn’t see the point of. Every ounce of his passion had drained away. He didn’t care. The new agricultural project would be enough. Let them get on with it. And they’d better make it work, really work, because Ash had died scavenging in the underground tunnels, trying to find a way to feed them all.
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” he said.
Someone entered. He got off his stool and pushed back the curtain to return to his office.
Mother Barbara was standing there.
Clay froze and stood straighter. “Hello.” He bowed his head in respectful greeting. “This is a surprise.”
“How are you, Clayton?”
He shook his head. “I’m . . . nothing.”
“You’re not nothing, dear boy.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You’re empty,” she said.
“Yes.”
“I wish to speak with you,” she said.
His skin prickled. Why would she want to talk to him?
“Come to my room in the Holy Corridor,” she added. “We have much to discuss.”
“When?”
“Whenever you are ready.” Her blue eyes sparkled. “I know you have work to do.”
“I do.”
“Then come once your duties are complete. I will provide food and drink—compensation for your time.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do, Clayton. Will you come?”
“I will.”
“Good. Until then.”
She left.
***
Clay made sure he did everything on his list as quickly as he
could before making his way to the crimson corridor. It had an eerie quality to it—all that red, the flickering LED candles resting in sconces. Real candles were only permitted for use in ceremonial situations conducted by the Order. They were strictly forbidden to anyone else.
Clay reached a door at the farthest point in the corridor. It was gold, the paint peeling around the edges to expose the grey beneath it.
He knocked three times.
He’d never been inside this room. In fact, he didn’t know of anyone who had. His stomach was alive with butterflies.
The door opened with a creak and Mother Barbara was there.
“Hello, Clayton,” she said. “Please come in.” She gestured with her arm for him to come through.
Her room was small, with a bed and two wooden chairs. Between the two seats was a little table with two mugs and a plate of crackers.
“I’m afraid that is all I have,” she said.
“No, it’s fine,” Clay said. That was all any of them would have soon enough.
“I hope I didn’t falsely entice you with the promise of better food than this.”
“Not at all.”
“Good to know. Please, take a seat.”
There was clear liquid in the mugs.
“Water,” Barbara said.
Clay nodded.
“Water is the purest of beverages, don’t you think?”
“Yes.”
“Help yourself.”
He didn’t feel like eating or drinking. He just wanted to listen.
Mother Barbara took a delicate bite of a cracker and washed it down with a sip of water.
“These are dark times, Clayton,” she said.
“Haven’t they always been?”
“Indeed they have, but I am referring to something else.” She sipped some more water. “You have a good heart, I can tell. All around you I see so much goodness, so much light. You’re a very special person, Clayton. It hurts me deeply to see that light fading.”
And the Mother will be the light for you, to help . . . Whatever she was going to say, he didn’t want to hear it. He was starting to shut down. There’d obviously been a mistake on his part. He’d been worried sick about what she wanted to talk to him about. No one had a private audience with Mother Barbara.
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