by Jaya Moon
Who was outside my door?
I quietly slipped out of bed, crept up my hall and placed my eye to the peephole as my heart thumped harder than my head, which had started to throb from all the alcohol I’d drunk. I couldn’t see anything. That didn’t mean there wasn’t someone there. Had the Fallen come to get me? If they had, I doubted they’d creep around. They’d hammer on my door, demand entry, and if I didn’t let them in, bash my door down, wouldn’t they?
When the neighbor’s cat skittered into view, I thought I’d be relieved. I wasn’t.
I wanted Tallow to return so we could replay the conversation we’d had, only this time when he asked me to go to his lodge I’d say yes. I’d be safe, and I’d be with him. But it was too late for that. He’d spent so much time pushing me away I’d finally shoved back. He hated me, and despite trying to convince myself I didn’t care because he was a jerk, I hated myself.
If Tallow had gone for good, did that mean Mox and Abriel had too?
There was another sound, this time from the street. A sound I’d heard a thousand times before, but right then it seemed different. My heart pounded as I expected at any moment my door to fly open. I’d be dragged by Fallen to that dark building, which stood like a black blade cutting up into the sky. They’d take me to one of the floors Berron had talked about when I first met him, where shifters and shifter sympathizers were interrogated.
I couldn’t live my life waiting around for that to happen.
If I was on my own, then I’d do the only thing I knew would keep me safe, at least for the time being, and Tallow would have to live with my decision.
I arrived a few minutes before 2 p.m. in Knoxville.
The night before, I’d eventually summoned up enough courage to risk going downstairs to the entrance hall to find the ticket Berron had given me. It still lay crumpled on the floor. My head throbbing and my heart beating far too fast, I made my way quickly back up to my apartment again and locked the door before I flattened out the ticket. The bus left at noon. It was almost 4 a.m. I had eight hours to wait.
I showered, dressed in jeans and a white shirt over a cami, and even put on my lace-up walking boots despite still having hours before I had to leave, in case I suddenly needed to flee.
While adrenaline surged at every small sound I heard on the street below or somewhere within the apartment building, I filled my small backpack with some toiletries and as many clothes as I could stuff in. If any of the Fallen were watching me I didn’t want to look like a fugitive on the run. I hoped I’d packed enough. How long would I be at the Eyrie? Would I ever come back?
While stuffing things in, I found the cell phone Tallow had given me before I’d left for Heaven’s Gate. I turned it on. If I called him, would he answer? There were no numbers in the contacts list. No list of last numbers called, and I didn’t know his. It was as useless as a brick, but I held onto it tightly as I waited, perched on the edge of my bed.
At half past ten, I went to the door, ready to leave, when I thought about my hair. It was so bright, I may as well have had a “Look, it’s me, Meghan May” sign flashing on my head. So I retrieved Mox’s hooded sweatshirt from my laundry hamper and put it on. The rich scent of sandalwood had faded, but I still caught hints of it, enough to make me wish he was there with me so I didn’t have to feel so alone.
I took an indirect route to the bus terminal, something I’d seen in movies—an attempt to shake off anyone following me. It didn’t take me long to realize all my over-the-shoulder glances and looking like I had something to hide would more likely draw attention to me than if I pretended I didn’t have a care in the world.
In the end, I got myself a cup of coffee at a café and waited there until just before the bus was due.
The bus had been half empty. I sat near the back in a window seat and leaned my face against the glass to watch the city buildings. My eyelids gradually became heavy. Feeling safer than I had all night, I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, the first thing I saw was a Welcome to Knoxville sign.
As we pulled up outside the red-brick terminal, I checked every strand of my hair was still concealed by Mox’s sweatshirt hood before I looked out the window, determined to spot any Fallen before they saw me. The only people waiting for the bus looked human. My anxiety eased and my thoughts moved to who would come and pick me up. Were there shifters in among the few who stood looking up expectantly at the bus for whomever they were meeting?
By the time I stepped out onto the sidewalk, only a middle-aged man with a long beard wearing sunglasses remained, leaning up against the brick wall chewing on something. Was that him?
“Are you waiting for me?”
Even though his eyes were veiled by his glasses, I could tell by the movement of his head he was looking me up and down. “You’re more than welcome to come home with me, honey.” He flashed me a stained-tooth smile, dark spittle in his mouth.
Great. Instead of being captured by the Fallen, I’d invited myself to go off with some tobacco-chewing psycho. It would have been easier if Berron had given me some idea of who I was meeting. Then again, I’d told him I wasn’t coming. Maybe no one would come to meet me.
“Megs.”
I caught my breath at the familiar tone and the pet name he used.
Mox stood at the corner of the building wearing a tight white t-shirt showcasing his pecs and biceps, a pair of denim jeans, and hiking boots. His smile was wide, and even though he was several feet away from me, I could see his glacial blue eyes, intense yet inviting.
My core panged as memories of the last time I’d been with him flowed hot through me. He beckoned with his hand, the flick of his fingers reminding me of the way he’d moved them inside me only days before. For a brief moment, I steeled myself for more rejection. Had Tallow spoken to him? Should I prepare myself for Mox’s warm reception to turn into another session of someone telling me what I could and couldn’t do? But seeing him there… He was the only reliable person in my life because he was so predictable. Unlike Tallow who blew hot and cold, Mox always blew hot and hotter; and the pain of how Tallow had left me was still so raw. I needed someone to want me, and at that moment I knew Mox did.
I let go of my backpack. As it dropped to the ground, I ran at him, jumping into his arms, wrapping myself around his body, my legs around his waist and my hands grasping at his back. He cradled my backside, nestled his face into my hoody-covered neck, breathed deeply and groaned as his cock swelled between us. A smile broke out across my face so wide it ached. I didn’t want to let him go.
“You okay?” he whispered near my ear.
“I am now.” The confession made me vulnerable. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said it, but I was so happy to see him, and I wanted him to know. I didn’t want to make the same mistake I’d made with Tallow—letting hurt and defensiveness get in the way of how I felt.
When he whispered back, “Now I am too,” I held him even tighter.
Eventually his grip loosened on my ass, and I slid down his body, so he knew I was well aware of how hard his cock was.
He grinned and said, “Sorry about that,” like he had the night he’d driven me to Tallow’s lodge and we’d shared a bed.
I laughed. “No, you’re not.”
His grin widened. He reached out, gently took my hands, and stroked the backs of them with his thumbs, his touch like fireworks against my skin. “You know me too well.”
But how well did I know him? I had no idea why he was there waiting for me. Maybe he’d come to deliver a message from Tallow and tell me off, or did Berron always have him in mind to help me get to the Eyrie? I didn’t want to break the spell between us, but there was no point putting it off.
“Have you spoken to Tallow?”
“I have.”
“So are you here to tell me I can’t go to the Eyrie?” I didn’t mean the words to come out as sharply as they did.
“No.” He smiled gently. “I’m here to take care of you.”
Take c
are of me? Like Tallow, did he think I was incapable of taking care of myself? That thought didn’t make me feel half as annoyed as the possibility that the only reason Mox had met me was because Tallow had told him I needed a caretaker. I pulled my hands out of his.
“I don’t need a babysitter. I’m—”
He pressed his index finger to my lips so I couldn’t speak. “The things I want to do with you I wouldn’t do with someone I was babysitting.”
Again my core panged. It was difficult to be angry with Mox.
“Just so you know, I was already in the area. And after I spoke to Tallow, I went and saw his father, said I’d come get you. I’m not here because anyone asked me to come. I’m here because I want to be here.” He removed his finger and looked at me from beneath his brows as though cautioning me in a good-humored way—he’d unlocked my lips, and I should try not to lose it with him.
I breathed deeply. Converse calmly. “What does Tallow think about you meeting me?” Did he even know?
“I’m sure deep down Tallow’s glad I’m here rather than one of Berron’s cronies.”
“Deep down? So what does the exterior Tallow think?”
“He thinks you’re an infuriating woman who won’t do what she’s told. And he, therefore, thinks you need a good spanking.”
I let out a half-annoyed, half-amused tsk. “No, he doesn’t.”
“I’m pretty sure he thinks you’re infuriating, and we all know you never do what you’re told. But okay, I made that last bit up,” Mox confessed. “However, if you’re interested in a spanking…”
His eyes were bluer, as though the heat of his thoughts had melted their usual glacial hues, and I had to stop myself from biting my lip. Any other man I’d probably tell to get lost, but Mox’s lecherous banter had become something of a turn-on. I couldn’t resist the draw of his lightness, his complete lack of complication, and the knowledge of how good he made me feel.
Without realizing what I was doing, I glanced down quickly and saw his cock still straining against his jeans. When I looked up again, Mox’s grin was so wide he was in danger of splitting his face in two.
He tugged at the waist of his pants. “See what you do to me? Are you going to help me out with this problem?”
I snort-laughed. “No.”
He put on an exaggerated pout, then went and retrieved my bag. “This it?”
I nodded.
“A woman with a bag smaller than mine. You’re full of pleasant surprises.” With my backpack in his hand, he gestured across to a parking lot. “We should get going.”
I went to push the hood of his sweatshirt from my head, but he grabbed my wrist to stop me.
“Leave it on until we’re in the car. Just in case. Never know who’s watching.” His eyes were reassuring, but the reminder of the reason I’d defied Tallow and decided to go to the Eyrie returned.
“Do you think they’re looking for me?”
“I’m here. Everything’s okay.”
The comment sounded dismissive, but I knew he wasn’t trying to be, and at that moment I believed him—everything was okay.
“So you mentioned you were up this way,” I said as we reached his SUV. It had sprays of mud up the side and the wheel arches and tires were so dirty he looked like he’d been off-roading. “What were you doing?”
He unlocked the car and opened the passenger-side door for me. “I’ve been hiking. Doing some photography. Thinking.”
“Mox, the thinker?” I kidded.
Fortunately, he took it the right way. “I know. Hard to believe. But you don’t know what I was thinking about.”
I arched an eyebrow at him as I got in. “I think I can guess.”
His eyes locked onto mine. I’d never seen him look so serious. “Yes. That. But not just that.” He closed the door before I had a chance to respond and went to the driver’s side, put my pack in the back, and then got in beside me.
Reaching over, he pushed the hood from my head. Seeing my face clearly for the first time, he frowned. “God, Megs. I hadn’t noticed. You look—”
“Like shit?” I knew my eyes were puffy and darkened from lack of sleep despite the makeup I’d used to try and mask it.
“Don’t think I’d ever describe you like that, but when was the last time you slept?” He reached out and put his hand to the side of my face, gently rubbing a thumb under my eye as though he hoped he could wipe away some of my fatigue.
The way he gazed at me and the warmth of his gentle touch made me feel like I saw a different Mox than the one I knew. He leaned into the back seat without taking his eyes off me and grabbed a jacket. Folding it up, he handed it to me. “Here. Use it as a pillow. Get some rest. We’ll be driving for a while.”
I wanted to talk to him and ask more questions about Tallow. Would he come to the Eyrie now he knew I’d be there? And what did he think about Mox coming to get me? I also wanted to know what Mox had been thinking about, the things that made him look all serious, but I was tired. It would be good to pretend for a while things were simple, to stay in the intoxicating and calm world that was Mox. Instead of asking all the questions that rattled around in my head, maybe we could chat about everyday things and get to know each other better.
“Thanks,” I said as I put the jacket to the window and rested my head against it.
He started the engine.
You have things to do.
I jolted upright.
“You okay?” Mox put his hand on my leg and glanced at me before returning his concentration back to the road.
“Yes. I…” I’d been dreaming of my mother. We were walking among trees, her voice like a melody in my ear as she told me things I needed to know, but now that I’d woken all I remembered were her final words.
I stared out the windshield. We must have left the freeway while I slept. Now the world was full of mottled light as the car wove slowly downward through a forest.
“Nearly there.”
“The Eyrie?” Could my dream be a coincidence? Now I was heading there, did my mother want me to know I was on the right path?
“Not quite. We’ll park the car, then it’s a bit of a hike. Actually, it’s a lot of a hike. About three hours.”
A long hike meant not easily accessible. Berron had said the Eyrie was safe, and no road in sounded very safe to me. But it was more than relief I felt knowing we’d have to walk a long way to get there. Apart from my trek with Abriel to the waterfall, how long was it since I’d been in a forest? For two years I’d sought refuge in a world of concrete, metal, and glass, but it would never be home. Spending time at Tallow’s lodge had made me realize where my heart lay. Maybe that was why I found myself drawn to him. He was, in some ways, my connection to the home I’d left behind. Perhaps I’d tell him that if I ever saw him again.
“A hike will be good.”
It wasn’t long before Mox pulled over into a designated parking area with signs for a walking trail.
“Do you still have that phone Tallow gave you?”
“It’s in my bag.”
“You’ll need to leave it here in the car. No phones at the Eyrie.”
I turned around to grab my pack from the back seat. As I leaned over, my face moved close to Mox’s. I’d never really understood the expression “he smiled with his eyes”, but I did at that moment.
“Damn, you’re beautiful.” He brought his lips to mine and kissed me lightly before sucking gently at my bottom lip. When I opened my mouth, his tongue swept into me. His breath shuddered through his mouth into mine as he placed his hand on my neck and traced his fingers down to the cleft between my breasts. Then he pulled away and let out a frustrated groan as he shook his head, half laughing, half looking like he wanted to tear his hair out. “As much as I’d like to—” He looked down at his lap and I followed his gaze. His cock strained against his jeans again. I wanted him. It was clear he wanted me. “—we need to get going.” As he opened the car door and got out fast, I heard him mutter to himself ev
ery expletive he could think of in a frustrated tone.
I might have experienced disappointment because he’d stopped if he wasn’t clearly tormented by his decision to do the grown-up thing and get me to the Eyrie, but I wasn’t sure what his urgency was. Even with a three-hour hike, we’d be there before dark. As I grabbed my backpack, took my phone out, and shoved it under the passenger seat, I called, “Why the rush?”
Mox opened the trunk and pulled out his own pack. “I said I came to meet you because I wanted to. That’s true. But Dore’s expecting you. It’s not worth the grief I’ll get if I keep him waiting. Knowing my luck there’s some shifter somewhere keeping an eye on us already.”
I climbed out of the car and lifted my eyes to the trees. Were they watching us? Had I gone from the Fallen possibly keeping tabs on me to being spied on by the kin? Even before all that, Tallow had been following me. I was tired of people watching my every move. “And what if I don’t want to see Dore?” I said it loudly.
Mox locked the car. “Megs, it’s his home. You’ll have to at least exchange pleasantries with him.”
“What if that’s all I want to exchange?” If some shifter was watching us, I wanted them to deliver the message that I wasn’t going there to get involved in some grand plan of theirs. I would talk to Dore, give him the information he wanted about Savannah, but that was it, and telling him would be on my terms—when I wanted to. Or hadn’t I thoroughly thought through what I’d decided to get myself into? Was assuming I could turn up and seek refuge at the Eyrie on my own terms a little deluded?
“That’s up to you, and if you need me to back you up, I will. I told you I’m here to take care of you and I mean it. But whatever you choose to do, don’t forget who Dore is; don’t go in guns blazing. Do it politely.”
I thought about telling Mox I wasn’t stupid, but maybe he knew me better than I thought. Fueled by my desire to prove Tallow wrong about how easily his father could coerce me, perhaps I would have gone in “guns blazing” if not for Mox’s cautioning. And where would that have gotten me? If a shifter was watching us I probably hadn’t made a great first impression. “You’re right. Let’s not keep him waiting.”
