by Neven Iliev
“Ice Spike!”
He sent the deadly icicle flying with a throwing motion of his hand. It shot through the snowstorm, leaving a blue trail as it flew unerringly towards the orange blob’s center of mass with great speed. However, Fizzy’s Champion of Chaos Skill saw it coming and predicted its trajectory with an illusory red line that only she could see. The smoldering Paladin pivoted on her left leg, twisted her body around, and performed a backhanded swing with the nigh-indestructible shield on her left hand right into the path of the incoming projectile.
“Rebound!”
She expertly bounced the Spell back towards its source. A few moments later, her fine-tuned hearing detected a delightfully painful scream. She wasn’t sure where that special snowflake was in this infuriating snowstorm, but the moron willingly revealed himself just as she hoped he would. Before doing anything else, she took a brief moment to top herself off.
“Holy Light!”
[Your body freezes over. HP -414.]
[Divine power has healed your wounds. HP +941.]
Her heavily damaged body instantly mended itself. The loose bits snapped back into place, the warped metal regained its shape, and her jammed right eye unstuck itself. Her molten drool remained, however, revealing that the burst of healing magic was more of a patch job than a fix. Indeed, the internal state of her body was a hot mess on the verge of collapse. Her condition was volatile to say the least, though Fizzy had willingly inflicted it upon herself.
[You suffer internal damage from Engine of Destruction. HP -184.]
[You gain magical power from Engine of Destruction. MP +60.]
Her latest Metal Golem Skill was doing good work, but the toll it took on her steadily grew stronger. Fizzy’s body temperature continued rising even though she waded through snow and ice, but she wasn’t worried. Mithril could withstand much greater temperatures than this. The only reason she looked so battered was because the living metal did not react well to the conflicting elements it was subjected to. Either way, Fizzy was slightly worried her own Skill might turn her into a pile of molten slag, so she wasted no time chasing after her target. The fact the magic he conjured was still ongoing proved that he hadn’t quite killed himself with that Ice Spike.
Seeking to amend that oversight, Fizzy turned in the direction of his voice and launched herself at him with Armored Charge.
“Crystal Shell!”
*SCRUNCH*
The Cryomancer had managed to rebuild his defensive barrier right in the nick of time. The smoldering golem slammed into it shield-first as if she were a meteorite. The shock from the impact rattled and cracked his bubble, causing his body to feel the recoil. This only aggravated the immense pain coming from his right leg.
“Rggh!”
The man stifled a yell through gritted teeth as his ice-impaled limb throbbed angrily. He expected that this golem – who for some ungodly reason was also a Paladin – might defend against his Ice Spike with Rebound. However, the way she sent it flying back at him was absurd. He had fought quite a few mace-and-shield wielding Paladins and Warriors before, most of whom used the defensive Martial Art to deflect his Spells. Not only had none of them turned his own magic against him they hadn’t even come close. Such a feat should have been possible only in theory. That was the common sense the Cryomancer had been armed with, yet the frozen, oversized needle lodged in his thigh was undeniable proof that his assumptions were wrong. He couldn’t begin to fathom how the golem managed to pull that off, while being partially blinded by a snowstorm no less.
*CRUNCH*
The man had no time to calmly analyze the absurdity that had taken place. There were more pressing matters to attend to, such as the incredibly angry golem slamming her partially molten weapon against his Crystal Shell. He ignored both the shooting pain in his leg and the unnerving wide-eyed smile of his opponent as he concentrated on his defenses. He pumped MP into the icy barrier to seal those cracks before the lunatic on the other side could break through. Some part of him hoped his Whiteouts would finish the job, but the divine radiance enveloping the crazy golem every now and then made it clear that wasn’t going to happen soon, if at all.
*CRUNCH*
Fizzy stubbornly struck the Crystal Shell yet again, but the man inside restored it as quickly as she damaged it. The trapped Cryomancer searched desperately for a way out of this situation, but his options were severely limited. Potions weren’t going to help since he was already on the brink of potion poisoning due to the protracted battle. His leg wound made it impossible to either run or use Ice Slide to make some distance between him and his pursuer. At the very least, his MP was in a good state, so his only hope was to maintain his defenses until his allies came to his aid once the Whiteouts dispersed. It was either this or relying on the vague hope that the enraged golem would run out of steam before he did.
Unfortunately for him, Fizzy had no intention of turning this into a war of attrition. She reached into one of her flame-retardant pouches and grabbed a molten fistful of grenades. Her opponent’s eyes went wide when he realized those were the same explosive devices she used against him earlier. She slapped them against the Crystal Shell, pressing them against it with her left palm while gripping her weapon of choice in her right hand. The golem invoked her Divine Wrath ability for good measure, and the damage-boosting Skill manifested itself as a radiant halo of holy light just above her head. She raised the red-hot hunk of steel over her right shoulder as she wound up for one of her new favorite moves.
“Grand Judgment Slam!”
The Cryomancer’s thoughts of survival completely ground to a halt when he witnessed the impossible up close and personal. Time slowed down as he stared blankly at the full swing coming from his right and the oversized flounder of light swinging from his left. A single person combining a Martial Art with a Spell? How was such a thing even possible? The corners of his mouth twisted into a self-mocking smirk as he realized his own folly. He saw the potential for this less than a minute ago, but common sense dismissed it before he could even consider it. He had picked a fight with a tired, battered metal golem thinking it would be an easy win, yet in reality he never stood a chance. He closed his eyes as his final thoughts drifted to his hometown, and the bar tab he never got around to paying.
Fizzy’s weapon and Spell struck from both sides of the Crystal Shell just as her body heat set off her explosives. The assault’s combined force smashed the barrier to pieces, reducing the man inside to a mangled, unrecognizable pile of meat. Thankfully, those were the last grenades the golem was carrying, or else she would have been enveloped in an explosive chain reaction. Not that it would have done serious damage to her. The ordnance she usually carried was a mix of fragmentation, incendiary, and poison. None of those could seriously harm her mithril hide in the event that they went off while still on her person, but they would certainly mangle anyone standing within ten meters of her. The sorry state of the meatbag in front of her was a testament to that. Bits of him were even stuck to Fizzy. This was a transgression worthy of extreme punishment, but she graciously forgave his sin in light of his contribution to her Status.
[Level up!]
[Congratulations, you are now a Level 33 Metal Golem! STR +3. END +3. AGI +2. FTH +1.]
[Proficiency level increased. Parallel Plot is now Level 2. LCK +4. INT +2.]
“Heh. Hehe,” she chuckled. “A flounder came out. Hahaha! Hehahuhohohahehuhahehoha! A fucking flounder! Ohahehehahohuhuhuhahehaha!”
Her sporadic, high-pitched laughter drowned out the hiss of searing flesh as the Cryomancer’s bits were rapidly vaporized by her superheated frame. It was a show of unrestrained joy that no sane person would openly exhibit, least of all after ending another’s life in such a gruesome way. Then again, Fizzy wasn’t exactly a ‘person’ anymore. Although a tiny fragment of Cornie Fizzlesprocket remained somewhere within her after her initial transformation into a golem, her last Rank Up had completely stamped it out. The only thing left in her empty shel
l of a head was a twisted, high-functioning psychopath that barely kept her violent urges in check around others.
Well, that and her newly acquired ‘companion.’
“Huehuehu- I don’t think it was that funny,” she interrupted herself.
“The guy was fish-boom-slapped to death!” she snapped back. “In what way is that not funny, you insufferable cunt?!”
“Hey now, there’s no need for that. Also, you should probably turn off the Engine now.”
“Oh, right.”
After briefly arguing with herself, Fizzy finally deactivated one of the key Skills that made her victory possible.
[Engine of Destruction]
Pushes the golem’s physical shell beyond its recommended stress limits.
Requirements: Level 30 Metal Golem, Advanced Joints, END 180
Type: Sustained
Activation Time: 6 seconds
Cost: 0 MP
Range: Self
[Effects]
Increases the amount of heat produced through friction of motion by 2,000%.
Recovers MP equal to 25% of the base damage caused by this Skill.
Reduces damage taken from this Skill by 5% per Level of this Skill.
Increases the MP recovered by this Skill by 10% per Level of this Skill.
As an Artificer with smithing experience, Fizzy was able to identify a few unlisted benefits of the Skill before she even picked it up. The heat prevented disruption to her internal mana circulation caused by extreme cold, effectively nullifying the paralysis she’d suffer if her Bane was exploited. It had offensive applications when it came to hand-to-hand combat, though heating her wrench up through ‘skin’ contact was also an option. She could even use her Metallopathy Skill to facilitate a more efficient transfer of thermal energy between her mithril hands and the enchanted lump of steel. Of course, these were simply in addition to its primary function of rapidly regenerating MP at the expense of HP.
This was quite a hefty downside. The Skill wreaked havoc on her internal construction since a metal golem’s insides were filled with mechanisms that could easily malfunction when warped by heat. After using it several times, Fizzy fully understood why Engine of Destruction had the Advanced Joints Skill as one of its prerequisites. The sturdier and more flexible means of motions she had acquired from that ability were far less likely to jam or seize up due to damage than the joints she had before. In fact, her old parts would have completely broken within seconds. That said, even the upgraded ones would suffer if she allowed herself to run too hot.
There were ways to counteract this self-destructive nature. One of them was to increase her resistance to fire through Skills and equipment. This reduced the damage her frame sustained without negatively impacting the magical energy generated by the Engine of Destruction. The line about ‘base damage’ in the ability’s description referred to this, and it was one of the reasons Fizzy wore gear sewn from the hide of a magmander. The monster in question was a horse-sized species of lizard that dwelled in active volcanoes. The reddish leather harvested from those beasts was nearly impervious to heat and slightly increased the fire resistance of anyone wearing it.
The second trait was certainly useful, but the first one was the primary reason Fizzy had chosen it. Before she had this set made, the golem would burn through her clothes with alarming regularity. It was extremely inconvenient to find a new outfit after every fight, though not because it left her naked. If anything, she preferred being in the nude. Not having any pesky apparel in the way made it possible for others to witness her radiant splendor in its full glory. However, Fizzy had to keep her exhibitionistic tendencies in check for two important reasons. The first was that Boxxy requested that she do her best to fit in with society, which necessitated the use of clothes. The second, more practical reason was that pockets, pouches, and holsters were incredibly useful not only in everyday life, but also in combat.
The Artificer’s brief but intense bout against that Cryomancer perfectly illustrated the benefits of flame-retardant apparel. If not for their special container, Fizzy’s handmade munitions would have surely been set off prematurely by her scorching body heat. That was another unlisted side effect of Engine of Destruction. Even though it seemed rather minor and situational, accidentally detonating her explosives was a far bigger concern than its self-destructive function.
“Holy Light!”
That was because, unlike any other metal golem in existence, Fizzy was also a Paladin. Her ability to heal herself allowed her to maintain a superheated state for an extended period of time, although not indefinitely. Though Engine of Destruction generated more than enough MP for her to heal herself through the damage it caused, the mounting heat led to a proportional increase in self-harm. During her experiments with the ability, the golem learned that her limit was around two, maybe two-and-a-half minutes. However, that was in a controlled environment with no other hostile factors. In live combat, using the Engine for more than twenty or thirty seconds at a time was extremely ill-advised.
Or at least that had been the case before a certain someone showed up.
“Look, Fizzy, it’s clearing up!” her mouth spoke without her consent. “It’s so pretty!”
Indeed, seeing the layered snowstorm dissipate from the inside was a somewhat spectacular sight. More importantly, at least in Fizzy’s opinion, it did an admirable job of sufficiently cooling her off. Her frame returned to its usual white coloration and was no longer hot enough to damage itself, but retained enough heat to instantly turn the last fleeting snowflakes into puffs of steam. This being the case, Fizzy judged that the active assistance of her ‘roommate’ was no longer required.
“Parallel Zero.”
The keywords spoken in a dull monotone caused the greenish glint in her left eye to disappear along with that thing’s control over her body.
“Well, that was rude,” complained the voice in her head. “Could have at least given me a heads up before you cut me off.”
“Why should I?” Fizzy defiantly crossed her steaming arms. “I’m only letting you borrow it because you’re useful.”
“Oh, come on. I deserve a little more consideration than that.”
“No, you don’t. You’re just a Skill. The only ‘consideration’ I owe you is when to turn you on and off.”
Indeed, the golem wasn’t talking to herself because she had gone crazy. Well, technically speaking, she had a whole wealth of traits that most people would consider mental disorders, but this wasn’t one of them. The voice in Fizzy’s head that sounded exactly like her former self was neither conjured by her fractured psyche nor was it the malicious murmurings of a metaphysical miscreant. She was talking to a mental construct created through the acquisition of a rather… spicy Skill.
[Parallel Plot]
The voices in one’s head can make for surprisingly capable allies.
Requirements: Level 35 Paladin, Champion of Chaos, Holy Scripture
Type: Sustained
Activation Time: Instant
Cost: 3% of max MP per second.
Range: Self
[Effects]
Passively maintains Parallel Entities at all times.
Allows any number of available Parallel Entities to control the body while active.
Amplifies the effects of Champion of Chaos by 30% for each active Parallel.
Increases the MP cost of this Skill by 100% for each active Parallel beyond the first.
Increases all MP recovery by 5% per active Parallel per Level of this Skill.
Creates a new Parallel Entity at Level 1, 7, and 10 of this Skill.
Fizzy had difficulty accurately putting this ‘Parallel Entity’ experience into words. It was almost like she was possessed by a slightly different, more optimistic version of herself. The Parallel’s assistance was a definite boon in combat because it could freely invoke magic through Spells and active Skills while Fizzy focused on melee combat and Martial Arts. Fully utilizing all her abilities at
once turned the golem into an unstoppable powerhouse. With Engine of Destruction constantly recharging her MP and the Parallel repeatedly healing her, she could outlast almost anything. It was an understatement to say that this combination of Skills drastically raised Fizzy’s odds at survival.
However, the undeniably useful ability came with some unexpected psychological downsides. The voice sounded a lot like her younger, wimpier, meatbaggier self, which really rubbed Fizzy the wrong way. Not to mention, the mere thought of ‘sharing’ her glorious mithril frame with someone else was irritating in its own way, even if that ‘someone’ was technically herself. Still, even if the two of them argued there were no real clashes of opinions, and they cooperated easily enough when push came to shove. Fizzy felt that, given enough time, they could probably find some sort of middle ground that both of them were happy with. In fact, now that she thought about it, the golem realized that it was perhaps for the best if she stopped thinking of that voice as ‘just a Skill’ and started treating it like an individual.
Unbeknownst to Fizzy, she was incredibly fortunate that she was no longer a gnome. A Parallel Entity wasn’t a blank slate conjured out of thin air, but a mock personality born from one’s subconscious. The average person had all manner of doubts, worries, fears, and other nasty things tucked away at the back of their minds. How did others see them? Should they have done something differently in the past? Were their beliefs and morals truly righteous? When did they get so old? What would happen if they died tomorrow? Was it really worth it to get a divorce just because their spouse had atrocious morning breath?
If such things were given an audible voice through a Parallel Entity, then the mind hosting it would surely suffer. This didn’t even consider the mental stress of never having true privacy again. The mental degradation of a Paladin of Chaos was all but assured the instant they chose Parallel Plot. The only question was whether the process would take weeks, months, years, or decades. Such was the price the mortal mind paid in exchange for accepting the gifts of a deity as inherently unstable as Larry, the Goddess of Misfortune.
