Dash nodded slowly, tucking the strand of hair behind my ear. “Just because you’re a Proteus, don’t think it means he’s your natural fit.”
“I… I don’t,” I stammered, moving my head away from Dash’s hand. “I’m not… I’m really not thinking about that sort of thing right now. Everything else is so overwhelming, and I just really need to… I need to… um...”
“Focus?” Dash ducked his head toward mine.
I planted my hands in the center of his chest and gave him a little shove out of my space. “You laughed at me.”
He squinted. “I’m not laughing at you, Meena. I’m not sure you’re hearing me—”
“You laughed at me. In the dining hall.” My jaw tightened to the point I could barely get the next words out. “The bathtub?”
“Oh, that.” A grin spread across his face. “Of course I did. It was funny.”
“It was mean.” Tears started to prick my eyes just thinking about it.
Dash laughed. His hand cupped my shoulder. “Meena, you mustn’t take yourself so seriously if you want to survive here. Things like that happen all the time. They can only embarrass you if you let them. The rest of us have moved on. You should, too.”
“Okay, yeah, sure. I’ll work on that.” I rolled my eyes and tried to wiggle away from his touch, but his fingers curled, holding me in place.
He took a step closer and suddenly his other hand was gently touching my chin, tilting my face to look up at him. The moon made his black hair shine like obsidian, and his eyes sparkled in a way that was, in spite of everything, undeniably appealing.
“I’ve wanted to do this since the moment I first laid eyes on you,” Dasharath purred as his lips drew closer and closer to mine.
His words were unbelievably hokey, not the sort of thing I ever saw myself falling for, but the intensity of his gaze was undoing my resolve, and there was something almost electric happening at the points where our skin touched. I found my lips parting to meet his.
A sharp cracking sound, almost like a gunshot, exploded from the forest.
Dasharath broke away from me, pushing me behind his back as he whipped out his wand in one smooth move. He waved it an arc toward the tree line. My hand clung to his jutting shoulder blade as another sharp pain jabbed at my chest. My wand was out there all alone.
“Who’s there?” Dash demanded.
But only silence answered.
He waited for a long moment before turning back and sweeping his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s get you out of here.”
But the moment I took another step further away from my wand, the agony in my chest exploded with a burst of white light behind my eyes. I fell forward onto my knees, hugging my arms across my stomach and chest.
Dash knelt beside me, one hand on the small of my back. “Oh no,” he murmured grimly. “You are an idiot.”
Chapter 3
“Wha… what’s hap… happen…to me?” I gasped between bouts of grinding my teeth.
My hands clasped the back of my head as I rocked on my knees, trying to ride the waves of pain rolling through my body. I had never felt anything like it before. The closest comparison I could make was the day of my grandmother’s funeral when I realized they really were going to lower her body into that cold, dark hole.
Dasharath’s hand moved to the back of my head, stroking gently. “You’ve rejected your wand, Meena. And with it, the ancestors whose magic carved it for you. The side effects can be—” His voice disappeared beneath the sound of my own dry heaving. When nothing ever came out of me, he continued, “Difficult.”
“What?!” I sat up as best as I could. “No, I didn’t! I was trying to keep it safe. I would never reject anything my grandmother gave me!”
Dash’s mouth twisted ruefully to one side. “It doesn’t know that.”
“Well, it should! It should know it was your fault!” I glowered at him, unable to believe that just moments ago I had almost let myself kiss this guy. “You tricked me!”
He winced, squeezing his eyes shut. “That was not my intention.”
“You told me to throw it!” I shouted, swinging a fist at his shoulder. But another jolt of pain hit my heart, throwing off my aim so my knuckles only brushed his sleeve. I brought my hand back to my chest and tried to massage away the throbbing ache, but it was all inside, out of reach. In frustration, I banged both fists against my knees.
Dash covered my closest hand with his own. I wanted to shake it off because I couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore, but his skin was warm, and the night kept growing colder. It made me wish he’d hold my other hand, too. If he could just hold my hands and never speak another word or make eye contact with me, that would be awesome.
“I’m so sorry, Meena,” he said, squeezing my balled-up fist until it loosened in his grasp. He laced our fingers together as he spoke. “I was only teasing you. I never imagined you would actually throw it, and when you did… well, I had no choice but to believe you. We never willingly part with our wands.”
I gripped his hand as my heart clenched so hard it seemed to be yanking my lungs out of place. “A little heads-up on that would have been appreciated,” I wheezed when it had passed. “New here, remember?”
“Of course,” he said gently. “It just seems so obvious…”
Scoffing, I shook my head and withdrew my hand from his. I couldn’t deny the physical attraction that had surfaced as soon as he sidled into my personal space, but cluelessly pompous had never been a quality I’d imagined in my dream guy. Dasharath Singh—if that was even his last name—was not dating material. He had come very close to being random-make-out-session-in-the-woods material, but the moment had passed, and he would not be getting another chance.
No matter how much I liked his hands.
“Nothing here is obvious,” I said, pushing myself up onto wobbly legs, which immediately threatened to buckle under me. I caught myself on Dash’s shoulder and leaned there, trying not to pant too obviously.
Dash grasped my elbow, supporting me as he slowly stood up. His movement caused my hand to drift from his shoulder onto his chest, where I could suddenly feel his heart beating wildly. I recoiled as though he were a hot stove. Had the excitement of his romantic advance caused that frantic pace, or was he nervous about something else?
Easing from the hold he had on my elbow, I side-stepped him and stomped off in the direction I was pretty sure I had thrown my wand in. Dash’s shoes scuffled in the leaves behind me, making me wonder how he’d ever managed to sneak up on me in the first place.
“I don’t need your help,” I snapped.
“Good, because you’re not getting it,” he snapped right back. I heard him take a deep breath, and then, in a marginally less irritated tone, he said, “What’s done is done, Meena. I’m supposed to take you to my aunt, and if she has to wait much longer, we’ll both regret it. And searching for the wand you shouldn’t have had in the first place isn’t an excuse you want to make.”
I turned around, throwing my arms out to the side. “So that’s it? I just leave it here? No more wand for me?”
Dash lifted his shoulders helplessly. “It may return on its own… but you’ll have to earn it back, as I understand.”
“As you understand,” I repeated slowly, frustration finally boiling over into anger. “Right. Because you’ve never done anything so stupid. Of course not. Not perfect Dasharath.” I let out a dark laugh. “It probably wouldn’t even matter if you were an idiot. Auntie’s pet.”
“Is that what you think?” Dash gaped. He smoothed both hands over his glossy hair and clutched the back of his neck with elbows pointed outward, giving his silhouette the appearance of wings rising over his broad shoulders. “You think being sent to chase first-years through the woods in the middle of the night is some kind of privilege?”
I snorted and turned away from him, continuing my halting progress toward the woods and, hopefully, my wand. If I could grab the staff out of all the branches in the f
orest once, then surely I could locate a wand among sticks. It obviously wanted to be with me. I would just have to explain. Apparently.
Shoving my way under a curtain of low-hanging branches, I entered the thick of the forest. Threads of spider silk clung to my lips, and I wiped at my face with both sleeves. Honestly, it would have been nice if my grandmother had gone over a few ground rules, like, ‘Whatever you do, don’t hurt this piece of wood’s feelings, it’s very sensitive and insecure,’ but I guessed she had better things to get back to in the spirit realm or whatever.
“Meena!” Dash called. “Come back here!”
“Go away!” I shouted, squinting uselessly into the shadows coating the tangled brush that filled the gaps between the trees. This was insane. I was never going to find it in the dark. Not with my eyes, anyway.
Turning, I pushed my way back through the curtain of branches, spitting out yet more strands of spiderwebs and hoping against hope the builder of said web wasn’t sitting in my hair. I planted myself in front of Dash with my hands on my hips and glared up at his exasperated face.
“Surely there’s a retrieval spell.”
His nose twitched and he looked off to the side.
“They teach martial magic at this school. Wands must get separated from their witches all the time. There has to be a way to call them back.”
Dash sighed and rolled his head. “Of course there is. But it only works when the separation was involuntary. Wands operate on family magic, Meena, and like any family relationship, the one we have with our wands can be… fraught. Like I said, it may come back when its ready. But you’ll have to earn its trust again.” He tilted his head. “Speaking of, what did you do to earn it in the first place? It must have been spectacular for it to happen so early.”
“That’s between me and my family magic.” I lifted my chin. “Just tell me how to do the spell. I think my wand is smart enough to know my actions were not voluntary.”
“What about that guy?” Dash glanced over his shoulder at the man on the ground. “Did he volunteer to run into that tree?”
“You’re changing the subject.”
“Honestly, this one seems a lot more interesting.” He looked back at me and shook his head. “You threw your wand when you weren’t in danger, Meena. It might not even be out there to find. It’s not just some pretty stick. It may have already been reabsorbed into your family magic.”
His words ignited the pain in my chest again. My wand couldn’t just be gone. That wasn’t fair. I hadn’t even gotten to use it. I had barely even seen it, dark as the clearing was. Just a few brief moments of time and then poof. Gone in a heartbeat.
She could have stayed longer. I mean, seriously, what could really have been so much more important than talking to me and explaining how all of this really works, who I can really trust. I needed that. I needed her. And she just… left. Again.
Until Dash’s arms were wrapped around my shoulders, until my sobs were being absorbed by his chest, I didn’t even know I’d started crying. “Why does it still hurt so much?” I whimpered.
“You severed a magical bond,” Dash said, cupping the back of my head in his hand. “You’re going to feel it for a while. Physically and emotionally. But, with time, you’ll heal. And, if you’re lucky, your wand will give you a second chance.”
I took a deep, shuddering breath and squeezed my eyes shut. I hadn’t really been talking about the wand anymore, but of course he wouldn’t know that. I backed away from him, wiping my eyes and nose with my sleeves. “Sorry I got your shirt all gross.”
He smiled and rubbed a thumb across my wet cheek. “Any time.”
In spite of my earlier decision that Dash was not dating material, I found my skin tingling at his touch once again. When I didn’t move my face away from his caress, he stepped closer.
“I am sorry for my part in this,” he said softly, tracing his fingertips down to my jaw. “I meant what I said. About what I’ve wanted to do since I first laid eyes on you. I find you… incredibly compelling, Meena Song.”
Compelling? Was that an incredibly romantic, or incredibly weird thing to say? On the one hand, it definitely made my heart do a funny little flutter, but on the other, it kind of sounded like something a creeper at the diner would have said, and then not even left me a tip. It was the sort of compliment I needed time to confer with Vicky about before making any sort of rash decision.
But Vicky wasn’t available. And even if I had time to race back to Braden’s room and make another breach, she would be too busy making out with Eric. Actually, by now, they were probably in the midst of making love or basking in the afterglow of it, and that was really messed up, wasn’t it? They got a letter saying I’d taken a bus out west with no real explanation, and they responded like it was some kind of aphrodisiac! They were probably just relieved not to have to worry about the old third wheel anymore. See if I risked my academic career to visit them again…
“Okay,” I heard myself whisper.
“Okay?” Dash sounded surprised.
“Kiss me,” I said.
His brow furrowed and a shock of jet-black hair fell across his eyes. “Kiss you?” he echoed.
I reached up and brushed his hair aside. The gesture felt foreign, not at all smooth like his own moves, but it was something to try. I let my fingers trace the path of his sideburn down to the corner of his jaw. The rest of his face was shaven smooth, not at all like Braden with his scruffy beard. I had kissed a few guys in high school, of course, nothing that went anywhere, but never anybody with a beard. It was intimidating, really. Not only the coarse texture that seemed like it might rub my chin raw, but the way it made him seem so much older than me.
But wait, why was I thinking about Braden—
Dasharath’s full lips settled over mine. They were warm and soft, but not too warm and soft. His breath was perfectly pleasant, and overall, he seemed to be a technically proficient kisser, but whatever spark existed between our hands and skin seemed eerily absent between our lips.
I broke away, assuming the expression on his face would mirror my own bemused disappointment, but instead he greeted with me dreamy, half-lidded eyes and a stunned smile.
“Wow. That was… I mean, that was really…”
“Compelling?” I cracked, having no idea how else to respond to what had just happened than with grade-school snickering.
“Yes…” Dash breathed, his smile widening. “Incredibly so.”
And then his big brown puppy eyes were swooping toward me, and before I could turn my head and let him land on my cheek, we were kissing again. My mind flashed to Braden, lying all alone in his hospital room, healing from a wound I had goaded him into. But that wasn’t really romance I was feeling there either, was it? That was just guilt. I didn’t owe it to Braden not to kiss anybody else over that, did I?
Of course not. He hadn’t really given any indication that he wanted to kiss me at all, so there was seriously no need to feel guilty about kissing this guy in front of me who was doing a completely tolerable and inoffensive job of kissing me. I’d had a long night, and if Chancellor Singh was in my near future, it was going to get even longer. I deserved to enjoy this moment, even if I wasn’t seeing fireworks.
This was college, right? And wasn’t this exactly what college was for? Making new friends, making out with cute guys, and learning to make magic?
Chapter 4
It was clear by the time we were standing outside Chancellor Singh’s large and highly polished door that making out with Dasharath Singh—that was his last name; his father was the unmarried Chancellor’s brother—just because it was something to try had been something of a mistake. One that was going to be incredibly difficult to extricate myself from. For starters, he had not let go of my hand since the end of our fourth kiss… or was it the fifth?
I had certainly gone a little overboard out there, but not all the way overboard, even though he had hinted that was an option. There were some things I was willing
to practice sans fireworks, and other things that would definitely require fireworks in order to proceed. After five kisses, I felt confident the fireworks weren’t just late bloomers. This relationship wasn’t going anywhere.
The other deal breaker was that he had literally not stopped talking about himself for one second since taking my hand and leading me out of the woods, leaving behind one or maybe even two bodies, a telepathic wolf who used to be a person, and my magic wand. When I thought about it like that, I felt a lot better about my foolish decision to do something as relentlessly normal as what Eric and Vicky had been up to since I left. But whatever heat had crackled between our hands had long since melted into an awkward, sweaty puddle, and I could have sworn the guy had been two inches taller and ten pounds of muscle less scrawny out there. It was probably just a trick of the light—or the lack of it out in the woods—but the closer we got to his aunt’s office, the more his whole demeanor seemed to shrink.
“If you don’t mind,” he said after nervously clearing his throat, “I’d rather not say anything to my aunt about us just yet. She can be… overbearing.”
It didn’t seem like the right moment to tell him there was no us, so I just smiled awkwardly and said, “Of course. There’s no rush.”
Squeezing my hand, he brought it to his lips and brushed a kiss across my knuckles. “Thank you for understanding.”
“Um, yeah… sure.” I let out an anxious laugh that must have come across as a coquettish giggle, because his brown eyes only grew hazier with affection.
“Thank you for everything,” he said with way too much intensity. “You really… you’ve made me so happy.”
I swallowed and forced another smile. Inside, I was terrified that one of the many stupid rules no one had told me about when I arrived was that kissing between witches constituted as some sort of lifelong commitment. What if I had, like, married him? The amount of information about himself that had poured from his lips on the long walk back would certainly have been consistent with the way you might need to bring a new surprise spouse up to date on your life story.
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