by Nique Luarks
“Man, shut up.” I sat on my desk. “You.” I pointed at Headache Number One, aka Quindelle. “Go get my daughter. She texted me saying you dropped her off wit’ yo’ cousin.”
“I’m going bar hopping wit’ my homegirls.”
“Quindelle, man...” I drawled, running my palms down my face. “Go get my daughter.”
“I already told my girls you had our tab here.”
I frowned. “The fuck you do that for?” Quin partied too fucking much. She’d just picked Chasity up from Granny Ann’s. Her pushing my seed off on other muthafuckas so she could be carefree was about to be dead. “Call them skeezers back and tell ’em it’s a no-go.”
“Oh, my God.” She smacked her lips and crossed her arms. Her long hair swayed side to side as she rolled her neck. “This is some bullshit. You know how that’s gon’ make me look?”
“Ain’t you older than all of us?” Jaliyah shook her head.
“You...” I pointed at Headache Number Two. “Watch yo’ mouth when you talkin’ ’bout Chance. We weren’t fuckin’ around when she named Chase, so don’t go starting shit wit’ her.”
“Whatever.” She waved me off.
“Is that why Chance been acting funny with my baby?” Quindelle stared at me. “’Cause she thought she was different but she ain’t?”
Jaliyah chuckled. “Stupid.”
“Chill.”
“I’m just saying.” Quindelle’s mouthy ass kept on.
“And I’m just sayin’, you need to chill out. Chance is different, which is why I want you to keep her name out yo’ fuckin’ mouth.” I looked back and forth between both of them.
“And what about Nisha?”
I shook my head at Quindelle. “What about her?”
“You really letting her keep the baby this time?”
“Yeah.”
Jaliyah sighed.
Standing up, I made my way to the door. Opening it, I motioned for Thing One and Two to make their exit.
“This is so fucked up.” Jaliyah switched out first.
Quin followed her. “Right, can’t even hang with my girls.”
Shutting the door, I closed my eyes and counted back from six, Chance’s favorite number.
“Aye... I’m out.” I tossed my chin up to Miah, the bartender. “Hit me if you need anything.”
“Okay.” She waved goodbye.
I dapped the bouncer up as I made my way outside. As I neared my truck, I noticed someone leaning against the driver’s side. Irritation settled in the closer I got. Clenching my jaw, I motioned for him to get off my whip. Dude chuckled but stepped away.
“Fuck you want?”
Haze held his hands up in mock surrender. Grinning, he shook his head. “I ain’t even come here for all that, my G.”
I quickly swiped my thumb across my nose.
“I’m here on behalf of Chance.”
What?
I held a poker face, but I was confused as fuck.
“We getting serious.”
I checked my surroundings.
“And she been stressing a lot over whatever y’all going through.”
I tilted my head.
“I care about Chance, and I’m sure you do, too. She pregnant and shit, and I don’t need her getting the baby worked up.”
He smirked.
I chuckled. Was this nigga serious? Was he really standing on my property, speaking on my seed?
“Chance didn’t want me to say nothing, and I told her I wouldn’t, but I can’t keep watching her sad and shit.” Haze widened his stance and crossed his arms.
“A’ight...” I paused to remember I had a packed bar, so I couldn’t smoke him. “Check it. I don’t know nor do I care about what the fuck you and Chance got goin’ on. That’s my BM, and I’ma handle that how I see fit.” It took everything in me not to kill him as I opened my driver’s door.
“Look, I don’t want no beef, I just want what’s best for Chance.”
Shutting the door, I started the ignition. As I watched him walk away, I knew right then and there I was going to have to murk him. Haze hopped in a black coupe, then sped out of the parking lot. Checking the time on my dashboard, I saw it was going on eight. Pulling out of the parking spot, I set my gun on my lap.
Chance got me fucked up.
6
You let go, and I’ll let go, too
Chance
Bang...bang...bang
I stopped writing in my journal. Sliding out of bed, I slipped my feet into my Fendi slides to go see who was at my front door. Halfway down the stairs, I realized I didn’t even have a shirt on. Swiveling around, I rushed back to my room. Snatching True’s jersey off the foot of my bed, I put it on.
Ding, dong! Ding, dong!
I grabbed my phone to see if I had any missed calls. Seeing as though my call log and texts were dry, I frowned. Then it hit me. What if it was Rel? I’d been ignoring him for a few days now.
Going into my contacts, I pulled up my brother Tyriq’s number. He lived on 33rd, which was a lot closer than my daddy or my other siblings. Tyriq is three years older than me, and a hothead. We didn’t always see eye to eye, but he always came running when I needed him. Prepared to call my brother if need be, I cleared my throat and inched closer to the door.
“Who is it?”
“True.”
Huh?
I frowned as I popped the locks. Slightly pulling the door open, I looked through the crack.
“What?”
“Can I come in?”
“Why?” I looked him up and down. “It’s late, and I’m tired. This can’t wait until tomorrow? I’ll be at the Lee’s Summit location tomorrow, so...”
“Man, Chance.” He ran his tatted hand down his face in aggravation. “This shit can’t wait until tomorrow.”
Immediately, I became concerned. “Are Chase and Chasity okay?” I opened the door all the way. “What’s the matter?” Even though True was officially my least favorite person, his family was important to me.
When I stepped to the side, he let himself in and closed the door. “Wassup wit’ you and that nigga Haze?” True locked the door, and I crossed my arms.
“Really? You came all the way over here to talk about Haze?” Putting my hands on my hips, I looked at him in disbelief. “True...” Sighing, I closed my eyes and massaged my forehead.
“Nah, that nigga came to the bar.”
My eyes shot open. “He what?”
True glared down at me, and I took a step back. “You been discussing me with that nigga?”
“What? No!” Haze was totally out of pocket for that move. I’d specifically asked him to let me handle my situation with True.
True continued staring at me. “Yo, Chance. I’ma only say this shit once...”
I frowned.
“Quit pillow talkin’ on my name, shorty.”
Staring at him for a few seconds, I tried to come up with the right thing to say. He was in my home, in the middle of the night, trying to check me. The menacing look in his dark eyes was a dead giveaway he was upset. His jaw muscles flexed a few times, and his eyebrows furrowed. I burst into a fit of giggles.
“True, ain’t nobody worried about you,” I chuckled. “I don’t talk about you. Shit, I don’t even think about your ass.” Shaking my head, I headed for my sectional.
“So, you and this nigga been fuckin’?” True followed me. “Wit’ my baby in you?”
After tucking my legs underneath me, I looked up at him. “No.”
“So, what the fuck he talkin’ ’bout y’all getting serious?”
“That doesn’t mean we’re having sex. You know you can show interest in the opposite sex without it being sexual...right?”
True looked off.
“I don’t have to explain our relationship to you. You’re my child’s father, not mine.” Resting my elbow on the back of the couch, I laid the side of my face on my palm. “Is that all?”
“Yo, when you gon’ stop this shit?”
He came closer. “What happened to open communication and forgiveness? All that shit you preach.”
“Open communication has to be honest communication, True. We can’t have an open conversation because you’re a liar,” I shrugged.
True trying to throw my self-help tactics in my face was bullshit. I had tried to talk to him about how I felt on numerous occasions. Now that I wasn’t available to him, he wanted to switch it up. No. I didn’t want to talk to True, and I damn sure wasn’t in the mood to deal with him right now.
But then, the conversation I had with my daddy made me sigh in defeat. I couldn’t allow my ill feelings for True to destroy any chance we had of co-parenting successfully. I would probably never fully trust him again, but I knew no matter what, he’d be a dedicated father. And for that reason alone, I was willing to put on my big girl panties and move forward. True had been dishonest, but harboring the hurt and disappointment from that was affecting me more than him.
“Sit down, True.” I licked my lips.
He swaggered over to the other end of the sectional and slumped forward.
“You wanted to talk, so talk.” I stared at him. “And once you start speaking, if I feel like you’re lying, I’m putting you out.”
True nodded. “A’ight.” He looked over at me. “I should’ve told you about Nisha, Jelly.”
“You should’ve.” My head bobbed up and down. “Especially since I asked you.”
“I just didn’t want you feeling no type of way, shorty.”
“So, when were you going to tell me?”
He shrugged. “Soon. She’s halfway through her pregnancy. That’s the only reason she’s keeping him.”
“Him? So, she’s having a boy.”
True sighed. “Yeah. I told her we’ll get a DNA test when he gets here.”
I nodded. “Smart.”
He chuckled.
“True, why am I not good enough for you?”
My comment must’ve thrown him off because he blinked a few times, then glanced down at the Air Maxes on his feet.
“I’m not trying to sound insecure, but I...” My voice trailed off. “You treat me differently than you do other women, but you don’t look at me the way you look at them.”
He frowned. “That ain’t true, ’cause if that was the case, you wouldn’t be knocked up. I care about you, man. More than you think or know. Every day, I’m grinding for you and my shorties.”
I rolled my eyes. “If you care about me so much, why would you sleep with Drew?”
True
Chance’s eyes stayed trained on me, waiting for an answer. Me fucking Drew had nothing to do with how I felt about her, but I could see why she would tie the two together. I didn’t give a fuck about Drew, and the only reason I halfway gave a fuck about Jaliyah, Quin, and Nisha was because they had my kids.
“I shouldn’t have smashed ya homegirl’s sister.”
“You shouldn’t have.” She crossed her arms. “You’ve put me and Morg in a compromising position. Drew did, too.” Chance looked down into her lap.
“I apologize.” I ran my hand down my face. “A nigga been making a lot of selfish decisions lately.”
“I accept your apology,” she said sincerely.
“I apologize for lying about Nisha, too. I know you hate her—"
“She hates me. Her, Quindelle, and when Jaliyah finds out my baby is yours, her, too.”
“Fuck them.” I leaned back. “I already told them not to be fuckin’ wit’ you.”
“You’ve been telling them that for how long? It’s like you have no control over them. Especially Nisha.”
I let how she felt marinate. I gave Nisha and Quindelle so much leeway because out of all the chicks I’d ever fucked with, I’d dogged them the most.
“I just want a healthy pregnancy with minimum stress, True.”
I nodded.
“I get that you have a lot going on, but I do, too. I’ve been going through some changes of my own. My body, spirit ...” When she sniffled, I looked over at her. “Friendships. You and Morg were supposed to be my forever friends.” Chance wiped her face as her head swayed side to side. “I’m so mad at y’all.”
“You got every right to be.” I wanted to pick my Jelly up and hug her. “Stop crying.”
“This is all I do. Between not seeing Chase and Chasity, not having you, and shutting Morgan out…” She hung her head. “I keep taking losses. I’m just sad. I’ll be okay, though.”
Standing up, I fixed my jeans. “Come here.”
At first, she gave me the side-eye, but when I motioned for her to come to me, Chance pushed off the couch.
“What?” she pouted.
I chuckled, pulling her into my chest. “Thank you for being you, Jelly. Whether you know it or not, you strong as fuck.” I rocked her slowly. “I’m happy you having my baby.” Her scent made my dick hard as I squeezed her. “I miss you.” And just like that, Chance had a real nigga in his feelings.
“I miss you, too, True.”
“I’ma do better, a’ight?” I promised. “And...” I shook my head at what I was about to say. “If you like that nigga, I won’t kill him.”
Chance giggled.
“Just don’t fuck him while you carrying my baby, a’ight?”
She pulled away from me. “I’m not sleeping with Haze.”
That confession lifted a weight off of my heart. I really didn’t want her fucking with that nigga, let alone smashing him.
“I know what I said about Chase and Chassy, but I really do miss them.” Chance gazed into my eyes. “And we haven’t been handling our situation with them in mind,” she sighed.
“Yeah, I know,” I agreed. “And they know you pregnant by me.”
Her eyes bucked. “What?! Who told them that?”
“Love told Quindelle.”
“I’ma get Love.” Chance rolled her eyes. “That’s not how I wanted them to find out. I’m sure Quindelle is dragging my name, and Jaliyah is talking her shit.”
“So?”
“So... I don’t care what they think or say about me; I care about my godbabies’ perception of me.” She laid her head on my chest. “And trust, I don’t like Nisha, but if that is your baby, I’ll automatically love him.”
That was why I fucked with Chance Breon. She was the realest muthafucka I knew.
“I appreciate that.” I wrapped my arms around her waist because, whether she knew it or not, if he was mine, she was naming him.
“I better get a girl,” she mumbled, then yawned. “We don’t need two miniature Chases.”
I laughed.
“Thank you, True.” Chance pushed her body away from mine, and an automatic emptiness washed over me.
I watched her rub her eyes, then yawn again. “For what?”
“Listening, apologizing...taking full responsibility.”
“No problem.” If Chance wanted me to get down on both knees, kiss her feet, and beg for her forgiveness, I would’ve. Without a second thought. That was just how much I loved her little ass.
“I still think we need to put limits on what it is we’re doing,” she stated in a near whisper.
“I can respect that.”
“I wanna see Chase and Chasity if that’s okay.”
I nodded.
Her phone rang, and she reached down to grab it. “I swear he’s going to make me block him,” she said with an attitude. “He’s been acting so weird lately.” Chance silenced her phone with a mug.
“Who?”
“Rel. He gets drunk and acts completely out of character.” I stared down at her while she busied herself with her phone. “Last week, he was drunk, saying he was coming over, so I had to call my dad. When you were knocking, I thought it was him. I was ready to call Tyriq.”
Alarmed, I tilted my head. “Ah, yeah?”
“Mm-hm.” Chance tossed her phone back onto the couch.
“If he keeps on, let me know, a’ight?”
“Okay.”
&nb
sp; “I’m out,” I said, pulling up my pants, only for them to drop back down slightly.
“All right.” Chance followed me back to the front of her loft. “I’ll probably call Chase tomorrow and see if he wants to hit up Foot Locker after school.”
I nodded. “I’m sure he will. He calls me all day asking if I talked to you. Some shit about him needing to tell you something important.”
“Don’t tell him I told you, but he really likes this girl in his class. They’ve kissed and everything.”
I chuckled, unlocking the door.
“But her brother doesn’t like him. He’s one of the little boys Chase has been having problems with.”
Shaking my head, I pulled the door open. Once I stepped out, I turned around. “That li’l nigga...”
Chance grinned sluggishly. I could tell it was beyond her bedtime. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Get some sleep.” I gently caressed her cheek before kissing her forehead.
“Goodnight,” she smiled, and my heart did a somersault.
“Night, Jelly.” I started down the fancy, decorated hallway. When I heard her door shut, I stopped walking and glanced back. “I love you, shorty.”
7
Universal scars
Chance
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Ava greeted me as I sat my gym bag down. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
I chuckled.
“Right, she don’t mess with us no more,” Erin teased, bouncing gently on an exercise ball. She rubbed her round belly, smiling. “Everything been okay?”
Sighing, I fixed the Nike hat on my head and tightened my ponytail. “I’m pregnant.” I’m sure Ava knew anyway. She and Roman acted like best friends. They worked and hung out together. It was probably easy for them to be so attached since she was like one of the boys.
A shocked expression graced Erin’s face. “Wow. Congratulations, Chance.”
“By True,” I added.
Ava snickered.
Erin sipped from her purple, glittery water bottle.
