by Tiya Rayne
Whenever he has any free time, he’s with me, but even then, he seems preoccupied. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still sweet and attentive and has been a great help during this time.
However, there is still something off. My intuition is telling me something isn’t right. Old wounds flare up, making me think the worse possible scenarios.
“You worry that lip anymore, you’re going to take it off.” Seth cuts into my thoughts. “What’s going through your head?”
“Nothing. We have to go in.”
I turn to walk away, but he grabs my hand, turning me back to him. He cups my jaw, using his thumb to pull my lip from between my teeth. He steps closer.
“Talk to me.”
I sigh. Feeling stupid I need the reassurance, I say, “I’m worried about Luc.”
He tilts his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. “Worried how?”
I look away. “This job seems to be getting to him. He looks tired all the time, he’s constantly working. Maybe I’m being too needy with the Grams stuff.”
Seth doesn’t answer immediately, he watches me closely. “That you could even think that’s possible is unsettling.”
I shrug. “It’s a feeling.”
“You definitely have it wrong. My brother is dealing with a lot of shit. This case he has should’ve been closed months ago, but the asshole we’re tracking is like smoke.
“He’s wearing himself thin and the only thing keeping him going is you and how much you need him right now. Don’t take that away from him.”
I duck my head, feeling so much more relieved. I toss my old fears back out the window where they belong.
“Sorry, moment of weakness.”
He waves it away, stepping away from me. “It’s all good. Everyone is entitled to them every now and again. Now come on, my Tiny Rambo will be on soon.”
He takes a hold of my hand and drags me into the auditorium. I never thought the day would come where I could consider Seth a friend. However, in the last five months, he’s grown on me. He’s still an annoying asshole, but he’s my annoying asshole friend.
We find our seats beside Grams. I initially was afraid for Grams to meet Seth, but the two of them seem to get along fine. It’s like the crazy personalities cancel each other out.
“Where is Lucien?” Grams asks as we take our seats.
“Work,” Seth says.
She nods her head in understanding.
The lights dim and the music starts. My little elf flutters on stage in her green leotard. For the next thirty minutes, I watch my baby dance her little heart out. I look over to Grams and there are tears in her eyes.
These are the moments I used to take for granted. Who knows how many more dances Grams will get to see? The thought breaks my heart and I start to cry.
Seth squeezes my hand and leans into my ear to whisper. “Stay in the moment. Don’t go into the future. She’s here now.”
He’s right. I’m ruining this by overthinking and not enjoying the here and now. By the time the show ends, Seth, Grams, and I are all on our feet, clapping and cheering.
When the lights come back up, Emory runs off stage and straight into Seth’s arms. He lifts her up and she hugs his neck.
“Don’t I get a hug?” I tease her.
He puts her down and she hugs my middle, then goes to Grams to do the same.
She signs. “I thought Lucien would be here.”
“He had a work thing,” Seth says and Emory nods.
“How did I do?”
“You were the star of the show, baby. You even made Grams cry.”
“You sure did, Munchkin.”
The two little girls beside us laugh. Emory stiffens and her shoulders slump. I turn to the little girls and they are whispering behind their hands, pointing at Emory.
My hackles go up and I want to jack the two little brats up, but I remain calm.
“Ignore them,” I tell Emory.
One of the two girls mock sign language with her hands and the other laughs. I have to grab ahold of Grams’ arm to keep her from walking over there.
“You two got a fucking problem?” I’m so busy trying to keep Grams from saying something, I forget about Seth.
Both girls’ eyes widen and their faces turn red with shame or fear. The two couples standing behind them stop talking and turn to us.
“Buddy, do you have a problem?” the man with the blonde hair asks Seth.
“No, but it seems your kids have a problem with mine.”
The father looks to Emory.
His wife leans over and says loud enough for us to hear. “That’s the little retarded girl in Avery’s class?”
“Retarded?” I repeat as the woman turns her nose up at me. “Sweetheart, you might want to check your sources. My daughter had the highest test scores this school has seen in five years.”
“Yet she doesn’t talk,” the woman says as if she’s proving a point.
“And how does that make her retarded?” I reply. “Unlike you and your ill-mannered daughters who have just proven to the world how dumb y’all are.”
“Who are you calling dumb?”
“You and your dumb ass kids,” Grams answers for me.
“You better watch who you’re talking to old lady,” the mom sneers.
“Or what?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest. “Are you threating my grandmother? Please let me know, because I have time to whoop a bitch’s ass today.”
“Hey, get a hold of your woman, buddy,” the father barks at Seth.
One of those crooked smiles lifts Seth’s lips. “Actually, I think I prefer to watch this.”
“You people are insane,” the woman hisses.
“And yet our kid is the better behaved one,” I argue.
The man grabs his wife’s hand and pulls her away. “Come on, honey. We don’t need to put up with this.” He leads his little rude family away from us. Seth and I wave goodbye at their backs.
“The nerve of some people,” Grams says with her hands on her hips.
Emory wraps her arms around me again and hugs me tight. When she pulls away, she signs I love you.
“I love you more, kid.”
“How about we go grab some dinner,” Seth says. “We should celebrate this amazing performance with greasy diner food.”
Emory claps her approval.
“I’m going to leave it to you young people. I’m heading home.”
“Are you sure, Grams?” Emory signs.
“You know how Grams doesn’t like missing her late-night shows,” she says to Emory, but knowing her she’s probably going to meet up with her old work buddies again.
“It’s okay, Em,” I say, then pointedly look at my Grandmother. “I’m sure she will be fine.”
Grams side eyes me, before waving me away.
After dropping Grams and my car back home, Seth takes me and Em to a little diner not too far from the bookstore. We eat, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. Spending this time with Seth has made me forget about my worries over Grams, my concern over Lucien and his job, and the incident at the recital.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Emory signs.
“You need me to go with you?” She looks at me and gives the most universal look for mom you’re embarrassing me. I hold up my hands in surrender. “Okay.”
She slides out of the bench seat and heads into the bathroom. I watch the door, keeping track of who goes in after her.
“She’s fine,” Seth says. “Relax, mama.”
I laugh. “That’s hard to do when you have kids.”
“I wouldn’t know.” He shrugs.
“Ever thought about it?”
“Kids?” he asks, then lifts a shoulder. “Not really. It’s never been an option for me.”
I smile. “Well, I would never admit this in a court of law,” I say jokingly. “But you wouldn’t make a bad dad. Emory adores you.”
If I wasn’t sitting right here to witness it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t
believe it. Seth Gramble actually blushes.
“What about you, are you planning on making me an uncle?”
Now it’s my turn to blush. I duck my head, looking toward the window. “It’s always been my dream to have a couple of kids. Maybe three or four. As far as making you an uncle.” I shrug. “Lucien and I haven’t talked about it yet.”
“Luc wants kids,” he says, rolling his eyes. “He won’t shut up about having them with you.”
I swing my head back to the man sitting across from me. “He wants kids with me?”
“Come on, Lia. You have to know by now Lucien is serious about you. He wants it all. House, kids, Emory.” He nods his head in the direction of the bathroom.
Sinking back in my seat, I look out the window to digest this information. Everything Lucien wants, I can admit I want too. I want it so bad I can visualize it.
Little caramel children with eyes like his. How can something sound tempting, but so far-fetched? We’ve only been together a little over five months. I was with Trenton three years before I knew I wanted to marry him.
However, with Luc I feel like I don’t want to waste a day not being his. I haven’t even told him I love him yet. I’ve been holding those words so close to my chest in fear saying them will somehow jinx what we have.
All of this crosses my mind as I focus on the light coming from the building across the street. The pin light seems to move and I narrow my eyes at it.
“What’s that—”
My words are cut off when Seth grabs me out of my seat, knocking me to the floor and falling on top of me. Glass rains down as what sounds like bullets hitting metal rings out. The few customers in the restaurant are all lying on the floor as well. The pinging stops and the silence that follows is a reprieve to my ears.
“Are you all right, Lia, are you hurt?” Seth’s worried voice breaks as he waits for my reply. It takes a few minutes for me to hear him.
“Yes.” Then I remember the most important thing to me. “Emory.”
“Stay down, I got her.” Seth leaps to his feet and rushes toward the bathroom. I roll over and feel a slight twinge in my side. When I look down, I spot blood. It’s spreading pretty quickly.
Hurried footsteps come toward me. I glance up to find Seth and Emory frozen with terrified expressions on their faces. They both gape down at the spreading red on my blouse.
“It’s not that bad,” I say and then I feel the searing hot pain.
Seth drops to his knees as if he’s been hit, his face looks pale as he stares back at me. I start to feel drowsy, probably from the blood loss. The sirens in the distance lets me know someone called an ambulance. I lie back against the cold floor and rest my eyes.
Chapter 41
Just Go
Lucien
* * *
“You’re being a fucking idiot,” Seth berates me as I stand in the empty waiting room of the hospital.
He doesn’t agree with what I’m about to do, but I always knew that would be his problem. He will never want to let her go, even if he’s only giving up her friendship.
Her injuries aren’t severe. The bullet grazed about an inch into her side, not hitting any vital organs. It could have been worse.
So much worse. Malia says she’s lucky the bullet didn’t do any real damage, but she should have never been in a situation where she had to be lucky a bullet only grazed her. It’s for that reason I’ve made this decision.
“It’s not for forever, it’s only until we deal with Takar.”
“And how long will that be?” he counters. He’s pacing, and his agitation is making me irritable.
“For as long as it takes.”
“No, I’m not okay with this.”
“Look around you, Seth. We’re in a fucking hospital. What if that bullet wouldn’t have been off? What if you had been a second too late?”
“But I wasn’t.” He stops to growl, then shakes his head vigorously. “I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t protect her.”
I knew this would be an issue for Seth. He prides himself on being the protector, the one who watches over and keeps me safe. He doesn’t know how to deal with not being able to protect her. Which is what he thinks he’s supposed to do.
“It’s not your fault.”
I try to ease his concerns the best way I can. It isn’t his fault, it’s mine. I should have been strong enough to walk away before now. I should have never gone to her bookstore when I found out what Angel left me.
“Leaving her now isn’t the right time. She needs us.” He beats at his chest.
“No, she doesn’t. You have to be reasonable.”
“I’m being fucking reasonable.”
“What if Emory would have walked out of the bathroom earlier. Do you think Malia would have forgiven us if something would have happened to her? Could you have forgiven yourself?”
This gets his attention. “I love that woman and that little girl,” I go on to say. “The thought of not being with them breaks me, but the fear of losing one of them terrifies me.”
He curses, pulling at his hair. A nurse sticks her head into the room and looks around at us suspiciously before quickly leaving.
“Go home, brother,” I say to Seth when we are alone again.
“I can’t let her go.” Never have I felt so connected to my brother than in this moment. I feel his pain as if it were my own.
“You have to.”
I send Seth away, turning my back to him as I head out of the waiting room toward Malia’s room. I stand outside of her door and take a deep breath before I walk in. Thankfully Grams and Malia were able to get Emory to go home.
I don’t want her to witness this. I walk over to the bed and stop at the foot, looking down at the woman lying underneath the covers. The woman who owns my heart.
“You look like you’ve lost your best friend,” she says, teasingly with a smile on her face.
I can’t find it in me to return the smile. “I almost lost something much more precious.”
She goes to sit up in the bed. I quickly go to her side to help her.
“What’s wrong, babe?” she asks.
Taking a seat beside her, I don’t look at her. I don’t want her to see the pain in my eyes.
“I have to go away for a while.”
Silence surrounds us for a moment. “Is this about your job?”
“Yes. I need to take care of that.”
“How long will you be gone?”
I lift one shoulder briefly. “For as long as it takes.”
“Why do I feel like I’m missing something here?”
Heaving a heavy breath, I turn to her, taking in all of her features. I want to remember every minute detail. From the perfect bow to her full lips, to the heart shape of her face. I want the memory of the way her eyes sparkle when she talks about the things she loves to stay with me.
“I won’t be able to see you anymore.”
She blinks a few times before shaking her head. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“No, baby.” I grab her hands in mine and bring them to my lips, placing a kiss on them. “I’m not breaking up with you. We’re taking a break.”
She snatches her hands from mine and glares at me. “That’s the same fucking thing and you know it. Where is this coming from?”
“I’m trying to keep you safe.”
“Safe from what?”
“Me,” I snap. I run a hand down my face, regaining my composure. “My job isn’t as boring as I led on. Sometimes Seth and I get cases that involve dangerous people. This is one of those times.”
Her brow pinches. Malia is an intelligent woman, I know it won’t take her long to catch on. “Those bullets,” she starts. “They were meant for Seth.”
“Yes, and you were caught in the cross hair.” She looks away from me to the only window in the room.
“I thought we were in this together. You told me I had you for as long as I wanted you.”
“Malia, look at me,”
I command. She slowly turns her head to me. The moment I see the unshed tears dance in her eyes I nearly break. “I’m yours, baby. I fully and completely belong to you. In ways you will never understand.”
“Then why do this?”
“Because I would rather not be able to see you, than to risk your life.”
Fat tears slide down her face before she hastily wipes them away.
“I guess I’m supposed to sit and wait on you to come back, right? How long do you think it will take, a week, a month, maybe even a year? Since you’re running this show, maybe you can direct me on how long I’m supposed to put my life on hold for you.”
I don’t take offense to her snappy comment. She’s hurting and has every right to be.
“I really can’t tell you.”
Hell, who knows how long it will take. It’s already been close to six months since we first got Rasheed on our menu and we haven’t killed him yet.
It could be another six months before we finally finish the job. I’d be a shitty person if I continued to risk her life just because I didn’t want to give her up.
“And what if you don’t come back?”
I never thought of that one. I’m always so sure in my brother’s skills, I’ve never thought he or I wouldn’t come back from a mission. However, the thought comes barreling to the forefront of my mind.
For the first time, failure means I leave someone behind. Someone who will mourn me other than Priest and my brothers who understand the circumstances and are trained to deal with it. I want to tell her not to fear. To promise her nothing would keep me from coming back, but that isn’t how life works. So, I tell her the truth.
“Then you go on without me.”
She laughs, but there’s no humor to it. “Just go, Lucien.”
I give her what she wants. I stand from her bed and walk away, even though each step I take feels like a bullet going through my heart. Her soft cries behind me makes the tightening in my chest feel like a vice.
I stop, my back to her and one hand on the doorknob. I decide at this moment, I won’t just make her a promise that I will come back, but I’ll make damn sure it comes to true.
