“When he sees that I don’t marry Alfred…”
“Emily! Why won’t you marry me?” Alfred piped up.
“You know I can’t marry you, Alfred. I told you why.”
“Those are stupid reasons! You will think better of it when all of this blows over.”
“A man in love does not just blow over, Alfred,” Willard pointed out. “Roderick will do something. He was angry at the time, but once he starts to think straight, he will see how stupid his conclusions were. He won’t let it drop like this. I just don’t know what he will decide to do though. He will not believe that Emily loves him now, no matter what she tells him if he thinks it is merely a game.”
Just as he finished his statement, the butler, came to the door.
“Sorry to interrupt, but there is a strange woman at the door asking for Miss Emily,” he told them.
They all looked at each other.
“Do you know any strange women, Emily?” Willard asked.
She shook her head.
“Send her in,” Willard told him.
The butler left and in a few moments, he returned with Della standing beside him.
“Della!” they all said at once.
“What are you doing here, Della?” Emily asked, thinking the worse.
Maybe Roderick had just done something horrible! He must have been very angry. She had snubbed him in the past, and then at the ball, refused to remain engaged with him. After him seeing her kiss Willard, not to mention that episode with Abigail and James, it must have struck him hard, when he thought she was playing games with him…”
“I would like to have a word with you,” she said, eyeing Emily boldly. The maid had always been outrageous, Emily thought!
“Very well.”
She rose and indicated a door off of the room they were in.
“This leads to a small sitting room,” she told the maid.
Della followed.
When they were alone, Della and Emily eyed each other. She remembered her last conversation with the maid. Now she wondered what was so important to tell her, that Della came and demanded to talk to her?
“I want to start, by telling you that I love Roderick, very much. The reason I came here, is because I love him…”
“Yes, you have told me this before…he will always go back to you…”
“That is not exactly true…” Della faltered.
“What do you mean? Nothing has happened to Roderick, has it?”
“No, unless you consider a broken heart something to be concerned about. I am concerned about it…”
“Just what are you getting at, Della?” Emily insisted.
“I hate it when I am wrong. I thought that when Roderick lost interest in you, he would come running back to me. It turns out, that is not the case. He was devastated because he believes that you are playing some game with him…”
“So Willard tells me…”
“Have you? I need to know! How can I comfort him, when I don’t know what is going on? When Roderick accidentally killed James, and then Abigail died, he was about ready to do himself in as well. I stopped him. I could not see him throwing his life away for a woman who didn’t even love him. He turned to me in his sorrow, but I don’t think he ever really loved me. I was just someone warm in his bed, as enjoyable as it was.
“I thought that my loyalty could keep him in my bed. I knew eventually he would have to get married to keep his inheritance. I was not on the list of eligible women to marry, as you well know. To marry me, he would have to lose everything, and he didn’t really love me anyway. I was merely a comfort to him because he felt he was not worthy for any woman to love. Not a woman who wanted to be his wife, anyway.
“He came to me last night. He was going to drown his sorrow in my arms, but he couldn’t. All he could talk about was how he was about to admit his love for you, and you were just playing games with him!”
“He was going to…”
“Was it a game? If it was a game you need to tell me, so he can forget about you and find himself real wife material!”
Emily shook her head.
“I was not playing games. All I ever wanted was for him to tell me he loved me because I could not marry him if he was not truly in love with me. All the money in the world would not be worth a loveless marriage.”
“Then, why were you kissing Willard, and planning to marry Alfred?” Della demanded in outrage.
“I was kissing Willard because he was trying to help me. He was hoping to find a way to get Roderick to realize that he did love me before it was too late, and he lost his inheritance. However, Willard would have given it back to him. He is going to marry Lilith, and doesn’t need the money, which rightfully belongs to Roderick…but don’t tell Roderick that. He doesn’t realize what a kind person Willard actually is. He needs to find out on his own.”
Della’s eyes widened.
“Then what about Alfred?” she asked after a moment.
“I have known Alfred all of my life. I grew up with him. He would do anything to help me, including marrying me. I said that to make Roderick see that if he did not marry me out of love, he would never be able to have me. Alfred would marry me, rather than see me destitute. And it was a sure thing that if Roderick did not love me, I would not agree to become his wife.”
Della smiled slowly.
“Well, your wish has been granted. Roderick does love you. He told me so. He will never come back to me, and I cannot see him miserable for the rest of his life, marrying someone he doesn’t love.”
“Oh…” Emily put her hand to her mouth.
“He won’t tell you though. He doesn’t think you will believe him if he did. So you will never get him to admit it to you. The stubborn lout would rather spend his life in misery. Probably a self-inflicted punishment for his past marriage, than tell you he loves you, in order to get you to become his wife. I think it has become a matter of pride now. He is so angry with himself and so angry with you, he doesn’t know what to do.”
“I see.”
“Only I had to find out if it was a game or not…” Della’s voice wavered. “If not for Roderick, for my own peace of mind.”
“Don’t tell him, Della. I want to tell him myself.”
“If you wish,” she said lowering her head. “I want what is best for Roderick. I fear if you tell him, he won’t believe you. He has lost trust in everyone, it seems.”
Emily put her hand out and touched Della’s hand.
“Don’t worry. He will believe me… I am afraid I have misjudged you, Della,” she said softly. “I hope you will forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive. I am only a maid, after all. Not anyone special.”
“Oh, I am sure you are someone very special. Roderick has been lucky to have you comforting him all this time.”
“Only the lout doesn’t realize it,” she half laughed nervously.
“I am sure he does. He told me he would never put you out, because he owes you too much, even if he did put you aside from being his mistress because I asked him to.”
Della cleared her throat.
“Then I will be gone. I won’t tell Roderick anything.”
“Thank you, Della. Now I owe you very much.”
“You owe me nothing. I did this for Roderick.”
She stood up and then curtsied towards Emily.
“I am sorry I was so rude to you while you were staying with Roderick,” she said, and then left the room. She walked through the next room while all eyes were on her, and went out the front door, which the butler opened for her.
When Emily entered the room, Willard, Lilith, and Alfred all looked at her expectantly.
“Well?” they all said at once.
“I think I know what I am going to do, Emily said. Della has confirmed that Roderick does love me.”
“So what are you going to do?” Lilith asked anxiously.
“What Roderick will never expect,” Emily told her.
&nbs
p; CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Roderick was waiting impatiently for Della to return. He doubted that she would find out anything. Why would Emily speak to a housemaid? Especially a maid that used to be his mistress? Della had been grasping at straws, thinking she could discover anything by going to Emily, but at this point, he was willing to grasp any straw that would help him discover the truth. When he heard her footfall on the front walk, he rushed to the door and opened it for her, before Dobbs had the chance.
Della, unlike the other household help, could come through the front door, instead of the servant’s entrance, since she had earned the right to do so, in Roderick’s estimation. This set Della a little apart from the other servants, and they resented her, but never grumbled, or they would be set down by Roderick.
Roderick grabbed Della’s hand and practically dragged her to the drawing room.
“What’s the verdict?” he demanded, as soon as he closed the door.
“I wasn’t able to discover it,” she said, hating to lie, but honoring the promise she had given to Emily.
After all, women should stick together, she decided. And when it came to getting men to profess their love to them, something that Roderick had never done for her, she felt that women could be more successful if they formed an alliance.
Roderick’s face fell.
“I knew she wouldn’t talk to you,” he grumbled.
“Oh, she did talk to me. I told her I loved you! That should get her to thinking about how much a game if it is a game, would ever affect you.”
“You what? Good heavens, Della! That is the worse thing you could do! I told her I would not go to you anymore, as long as we were engaged, and as long as I was married to her, which meant a lifetime. Now she will think…”
“Fiddlesticks! You told me yourself that she refused to remain engaged to you. Whatever you do now is none of her affairs! If she thinks that you don’t love her, there would be no way she could snub you again!”
“Maybe you are right…but…still…”
Don’t worry about it, Roderick. I am sure you will find out in time just what her game is.”
“That is the point. I don’t have much time. If I don’t find a wife soon, I will lose everything, and you know that!”
“It would be a pity…but then maybe I would get you,” She smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
“What did she say, when you told her you loved me,” Roderick insisted.
“It angered her, of course. It has always angered her to know that you used to frequent my bed. She told me to stay out of it and she would take care of the problem herself.”
“Exactly something Emily would say, the little imp!”
“She has her friends to help her, along with your cousin. Willard and the others were all there, having some sort of discussion when I got there.”
“Now what are they planning?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t think you have to worry about Willard taking Emily away from you. You were right about him liking Lilith. She was actually sitting all cozy on the sofa next to him, holding his hand, when I entered the room!”
“Which indicates that they must be engaged. No lady with any breeding would sit holding a gentleman’s hand. So that only leaves Alfred…but why was she kissing Willard?”
“Have you never kissed someone out of gratitude? Didn’t you kiss me last night out of gratitude? Perhaps Willard was helping her in some way.”
“He did say that he could explain, but fool that I am, I just stormed away and refused to listen to him!”
“So, there you have it, Roderick. Try not to worry. Give it a little time, and I am sure everything will come out in the wash.”
“After every emotion is wrung out of me, most likely!” Roderick groaned.
“Stewing about it is not going to help. Maybe you should take some air. Go for a ride on the moors or something.”
“I suppose you are right. I need to feel some wind in my hair and blow the cobwebs out of my head.”
“That’s the spirit,” Della smiled sadly.
She knew she was about to lose Roderick to Emily. She just wondered how Emily was going to prove to Roderick that she truly did love him? By now he didn’t even trust his own feelings and Emily had proven to be a handful from the moment he laid eyes on her.
Roderick went to the stables and had Jem saddle up Lucifer. He only wished things would straighten themselves out, because he was tired of his heart leaping from one extreme to another. At this rate, he would have a heart attack for sure, even if he was only twenty-three years old!
**********
Emily discovered that Roderick had left Ebony at the Duval’s stable, so she had the stable hand saddle her horse for her. She would have to swallow her pride, she decided. She knew Roderick loved her, so she would just stop demanding that he tell her so. It was the only way he would realize she was not trying to play some game with him. She mounted her beloved horse and headed out towards Windridge Hall.
The early summer day was beautiful and Emily’s heart lifted because soon all of this anger and worry would be over with. It was up to her, she decided, as she saw the manor in the distance. When she rode in the drive, she saw that Roderick was just riding off over the crest of a moorland hill on Lucifer. She urged Ebony into a gallop, to catch up with him.
Roderick heard the sound of approaching hoof beats and looked over his shoulder, surprised to see Emily riding out towards him on her birthday horse. He reined Lucifer in and waited for her to catch up with him. When she finally did, they merely stared at each other without speaking. Then Roderick gave Lucifer a nudge and Emily followed him at a walk, as she gathered her thoughts.
“I assume you have come to talk to me for some reason,” Roderick, said at last. “You acted rather rude to me last night, leaving in the middle of our dance…”
“I came to apologize for that,” Emily hastily responded.
“Have you?” Roderick said in a cool indifferent tone. “I need to inform you that my offer of continuing our engagement, is no longer available.”
“I realize that,” Emily lied, trying to hold back the pain that was surging up in her throat.
“Then why have you come?” Roderick, demanded, stopping his horse and facing her.
“I can’t talk to you like this,” she said, dismounting. “Let’s go over to that grove of trees and let the horses graze for a while.”
“As you wish.”
Roderick dismounted as well.
“Willard told me that you saw me kissing him in the garden last night,” she told him as they walked over to the trees and let the horses free to nibble on the grass.
Roderick was silent and he was frowning.
Emily touched his sleeve to make him face her.
“The kiss meant nothing, Roderick. He had just told me he was going to marry Lilith. He was going to give me a place to stay in some cottage on his property…”
“That rundown heap of stone? That is absurd, Emily. You would hate it there!”
“I am not in a position to pick and choose,” she said honestly. “I was just thanking him for his help and...”
“What about Alfred? I thought you were going to marry him?”
He grabbed her by her shoulders and stabbed her with his intense gaze.
“It is true he wants me to.”
She tried to keep her focus on his eyes but was losing the battle.
“He keeps asking me…but alas, I couldn’t. My heart is captured by another, and you know it.”
She looked hopefully back up into his eyes.
Roderick dropped his hands and pushed her back a little, as he did so.
“Admit it, Emily. This is all a twisted game. It is just another wager you have decided to have with Alfred. You never intended to marry me, and you certainly don’t love me.”
“That is not true, Roderick!”
Emily turned her back to him, as she felt the first tear escape her eye.
“I don’t care
if you ever confess to loving me. I have always loved you! I think I have loved you since my sixteenth birthday. You don’t know how awful I felt that I had snubbed you, and then never could ask your forgiveness.”
The tears were falling in earnest now.
“I am asking your forgiveness now. I am so sorry I ever turned you away. I will marry you, Roderick, if you still want me, and you never have to profess a love for me. I love you too much to let you go. I want to be with you. I want to be your wife. I will even gladly give you the heir you expect. I know you don’t trust me now, but if you still want me, I would be willing to do whatever you ask of me.”
Emily’s shoulders were shaking with her sobs, and she feared that Roderick would turn her down. If he turned her down now, there would be nothing she could do to convince him of her deep love for him.
Roderick was silent. He stood there and stared as Emily’s body shook in anguish, her back still to him. He wanted to touch her. To turn her. To profess his love for her. Only that would be too easy. This could still all be a ploy. She needed to back up her words first. She would have to marry him regardless of whether he confessed his love for her and come to his bed willingly before he could believe her completely. Even then, until she let him consummate their marriage, he would find it impossible to admit how he felt. It could be she merely wanted security…beyond living in a hovel of a cottage Willard offered her. His thoughts paused. If that was the case, she would have married Alfred. He could give her all the security she wanted. He hoped to heaven that she was telling him the truth. He slowly reached out and turned her towards him.
“As you wish,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm. “I will still marry you.”
He kissed her lightly on the forehead.
“When would you like this marriage to take place?”
“I…I didn’t think you would accept me. I hadn’t thought of a date.”
“Then when you have decided, let me know.”
Roderick led her to her horse and helped her mount.
He doesn’t love me. Emily thought, as her throat grew tighter, now that her tears had dried. Della was lying. She was helping Roderick get his bride because… because Della loved him and wanted to help him save his inheritance. That was why Della came to talk to her. He must have instructed Della to talk to her to find some way of convincing her to marry him after all! Well, it didn’t matter. She loved Roderick, and even if he never loved her or told her that he loved her, she would have him near her for the rest of her life!
A Bride For Windridge Hall Page 23
