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When she was back in her bedroom secure in the knowledge that her escape plan (that was melodramatic, she knew, but still seemingly appropriate given that she could not step outside of her front door without an escort) had worked just as she had anticipated, she took the time to think about where things stood with all of the developments of the night. There was a lot to sort through -- what she had said to Connor, what he had said (and not said) to her, what she was going to do next, and if she finished with all of that (which was not likely anytime in the near future), then there were always Kyle and Anna McKee to spend time pondering.
She knew that Connor had listened to her, but she wasn’t sure if he had really heard -- not in the processed and accepted kind of way. She had gotten a reaction, but she didn’t know if it was the one she wanted. Time would tell. She would have to keep any eye on him (which was going to be easier said than done since she couldn’t just pick up and go visit on a regular basis).
He had, at least, given a somewhat grudging (but a yes was still a yes in her book) okay for her to keep her ears open for anything Meri or the sadly often present Wyatt might mention that could be useful. She didn’t understand why he had to act like that. It was somewhat ridiculous when it had been his original plan for him to act grudging about it now. She could only see the fact that she knew (sort of) what was going on as an improvement. It made for one less item for Connor to worry about (and from how he looked she was thinking that he had been worrying about far too many). Why Connor couldn’t share that view was as much of a mystery to her as why he seemed to carry some sort of guilt over Meredyth’s choices. He really did make things overly difficult (on himself).
She would think about all of that later. She had other things to ponder at the present moment. What she and Connor were currently agreed upon was that if she had figured out the Kyle to Connor connection, then Meri was likely to do so very quickly as well. There wasn’t any way to hide it from someone who was interested in digging. That would need to be mitigated. She would have to give her sister something more pressing in the situation to worry about than the people Kyle might or might not happen to know. She had a few ideas for accomplishing that. She was going to have to actively seek Meri’s attention and direct it on approved lines. That would take some planning.
This was going to be a rather new experience for Lia. She was going to be going directly against Meredyth, and Meredyth was going to be aware of it. That required a little bit of mental preparation. She wasn’t used to it. It, in fact, was in complete juxtaposition from her version of normal. She didn’t make a habit of actively challenging her sister. That was not because of a lack of potential conflict being available. It wasn’t that she tended to agree with Meredyth; she very often vehemently disagreed with her (on more things than she had ever bothered to count). It simply wasn’t worth drawing the additional attention that would necessarily follow her taking a stance.
She spent most of her time adhering to a strict discipline of a well thought out life plan designed to prevent the drawing of additional, unnecessary attention. It had taken time to create and implement that strategic life plan, and she was good at it. It had become habit.
She did not fail. She did not excel. She kept her head down, and she gave no one (particularly Meredyth) any reason to notice her or what she was doing. Near invisibility was the goal (the way people around her tended to focus on whom she belonged to rather than whom she was often made that strangely easier). She had been doing it for years (which sounded crazy as she was still shy of her sixteenth birthday, but it was the absolute truth). When the end was coming, Connor and Meredyth may have been unnecessarily loud. She may have been unnecessarily eavesdropping.
At the age of nine, her understanding of what was said and the implications thereof had been somewhat muddled, but she had come away with a set in stone determination to become the least visible she possibly could. The gradual descent into mediocrity that resulted was her insurance against . . . she could not tell you exactly what. It would sound ridiculous if she asserted that she was hiding from her sister -- which was a very good reason for never saying it. She did not discuss why she did what she did. She merely did it.
It was Meredyth she lived with, Meredyth who signed her school paperwork, and Meredyth who took the reports from her security detail. She saw her father four (maybe five) times in a year. He had no interest in being further invested in her. She knew that even if he didn’t know that she knew. (Maybe he had spoken more loudly than necessary when she was younger as well, and maybe she had been a habitual eavesdropper from a very early age.)
Meredyth was for all practical purposes her parent. It had been that way all of her life. She could not remember things ever being any other way. She could also not remember ever admitting out loud to anyone that she was afraid of her sister. There were some things that you never said because there was no one to whom they could be said. She had, likewise, never admitted (either out loud or to herself in print) how close her nine year old self had come to chasing after Connor on that final day and begging him to take her with him.
Thinking about that was not helping her mental state. She needed to think happier thoughts. She needed to be clear headed for what was about to occur. She needed to engross herself in some serious planning because being unprepared for whatever might happen in the coming weeks was not an option.
Glimpse: The Complete Trilogy Page 8
