by R. Castro
August 1881 The Aftershock
As Elias spent his time pacing the floorboards, his mother quietly stared at her cross-stitching. He knew she was watching him, feigning interest in her cloth, but he didn’t care. If he didn’t get it off his chest, he’d combust.
“I love Lupe, Mother. And I don’t care what anyone says. I’ll wait for her, no matter how long that might be.”
His mother pushed her project aside, meticulously smoothing out the skirt of her dress before she replied.
“So, my son. That troubles you? Give her time. And if she doesn’t feel the same in your absence, then you’ll know your answer. Besides, she just suffered an accident. I’m sure the last thing on her mind is giving you her heart.” She stood and joined him, firmly placing a hand on his shoulder. “Take her flowers. Let her know that you’ll be leaving, and you’ll give her the space she needs to get better. But that you’ll return, and you’d like a response then. After all, it’s only fair to you.”
He knew she made sense. However, he felt that was like giving Lupe an ultimatum. But was that a bad thing? Did he too not deserve the possibility of being loved in return? Could he walk away from her if she didn’t reciprocate his love?
“I’ll bring her flowers tomorrow, and I’ll head out shortly after. Will you be fine here?”
Mrs. Hill let out a loud laugh. “Son, the question isn’t about whether I’ll be fine. It is, will you be?” She waited. “Please, Elias, don’t take yourself so seriously. You are young yet and a very handsome gentleman. You’ll have many young ladies interested in you when you get to the city. It’ll be great for you to be back in society, mingling with others.”
He knew his mother meant well; still, he only had eyes for Lupe.
“You really need to listen to the doctor, Lupe. Your need for defiance will not help you in this situation. If anything, it can set you back,” Valerio said, attempting to persuade his daughter to stay in bed as he watched her pull the brush through her long locks.
She didn’t stop; it further enraged her. “I’m capable of discerning how I feel for myself, Father. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve yet a lot of things to finish.” She stormed past him, making her way into the kitchen, grabbing the pail of scraps and disappearing through the door. She needed to cool off, and the evening offered her the solitude she desperately craved.
The pigs grunted as soon as they saw her approach. They fed off the scraps in a mad frenzy. She smiled as she watched how simple life was for them; eating, sleeping, basking in the mud. Not a care in the world, not knowing their lives would be cut short to serve a different purpose, one that would fully benefit Lupe and her family.
She leaned over the fence, eyes closed, listening to the pigs eat up the slop.
“Miss Cortez.” Elias’s voice sounded from just behind her. She took a deep breath before turning to face him, depleted of the energy to fight him.
“Mr. Hill, good evening,” she conceded.
“I didn’t think you’d be out here so soon. I thought the doctor had ordered that you rest?”
Lupe dropped the bucket to the side, “I’m all right. Besides, these chores don’t do themselves.”
“I can have one of the men…”
She quickly cut him off. “Thank you, Mr. Hill, but I don’t need anyone’s help,” she said, reaching for the bucket.
Elias was quick to respond, as he grabbed her hand, startling her. She looked at him and pulled back. He stood staring, searching her face, for what? She couldn’t possibly comprehend. So, she turned away. “Mr. Hill, I have a lot to catch up. If you don’t mind?” She said more easily.
Elias reached for her chin and tugged her face gently back to him. “I mind, Lupe. I mind very much that you come across as being annoyed with me every time I’m in your presence while all I’m trying to do is win your affections. I mind that I don’t know what truly is on your mind or what your thoughts are about me. I mind that very much. I mind that I’ll be leaving tomorrow, and while I want to make a better future, I can’t imagine that without you at my side one day.”
She hung on his every word as they pulled at her heart. She wanted desperately to say something that was pleasing, yet, there was that dark cloud looming over her, that self-doubt, nagging at her every emotion, convincing her just how unworthy she was of the affections and possibly the love of a gentleman such as Elias.
But there he stood, declaring just as much to her.
The pigs in the background reminded her of her station in life as they snorted loudly, probably wanting more of what she’d brought them.
After a deep breath, she re-centered herself. “Mr. Hill, you have a safe and successful journey,” she said, quickly, departing from his view, running toward the house, disappearing into her room.
“Lupe!” her mother hollered behind her.
“The doctor is right. I need to stay in bed. I’m not feeling too well,” she lied as she pressed her crying eyes into the pillow, canceling out any sound that might escape her.
Elias was perfect in every way. And for the first time, she admitted to herself that she, too, liked him very much.
The admission brought about more tears as she quietly muffled them, alone and in despair.
The following morning, the carriage in which Mrs. Hill had arrived was brought out to the front to take Elias on his journey. The driver and the horses stood prepared for the long journey, and Elias quietly stared from his bedroom window. The Cortezes, sans Lupe, were all out front with his mother, waiting to bid Elias farewell. He swallowed a bitter taste as he made his way out of the house, and with a smile, he greeted his friends.
“Rest assured, your mother will be well cared for by my family,” Valerio said, holding Elias’s shoulders. “Go on and do great things. We’ll be here, tending to the business.”
He smiled at his senior, “I have no doubt about that. Please, send word if you need me to come back. I won’t hesitate.”
“Aww, Mr. Hill, I know.”
“I can’t believe you’re leaving us!” Maribel complained. “Bring gifts when you return.”
“Maribel!” Martha said, shocked. “Where are your manners? Mr. Hill, please, ignore my daughter.”
He laughed. “Mrs. Cortez, no need to apologize. And you, Miss Maribel, make sure you are ready for the splendid gifts I’ll bring you all.” He winked.
His mother fussed with his collar, avoiding making eye contact, and he knew why. His departures were never easy on her, especially now that she was alone. “Be safe, Son.” she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.
Elias cupped her hands to keep them from wandering over his sleeves, dusting off particles that weren’t there. “Mother, I’ll be fine. Besides, I’ll try to return soon.”
Mrs. Hill looked casually toward the Cortezes’ cottage. “She’s not coming. Perhaps it's best if you just let things be, Elias. It might just be a blessing in disguise, as you can’t really afford distractions while you are setting up on this new venture.”
She was right; still, it tore him up. The girl he loved was within that wooden structure, yet she couldn’t be further away from him, emotionally, and that stung. But he had an obligation to the family business and to himself. He had goals, dreams, aspirations, and these would forever take him away from Belle. He stood there a bit longer, thinking about what she might be doing in there.
“Goodbye, Mother,” he said, kissing the top of her hands. “I’ll see you as soon as I can.”
She embraced him and quickly released him. “God speed, my son. We’re in good hands here with Valerio and the men. Go now and make your mark on the world.”
One by one, the Cortezes and the men bid Elias farewell before he disappeared into the carriage. When it started rolling, he chanced a glance back toward the cottage again, hoping she would peek out. But it never came. Soon, the small town of Belle was fading into the distance as the driver headed toward Ft. Bridger where Elias would catch the train.
August 1881
A Heart That Yearns
It’d been two days since Elias’ departure, and with each passing moment, Lupe found it more difficult to get him out of her mind. There was no justifying her feelings. It was plain and simple; he’d meant more to her than she dared allowed herself to admit. Yet, she’d suppressed the feelings. The fear of allowing herself to fall in love with someone society had deemed impossible was so real, it terrified her. Still, she couldn’t get him out of her mind as she moved through her chores rapidly, with little conversation toward those around her.
She was hanging the laundry when Mrs. Hill approached her.
“Lupe, you’ve been keeping to yourself an awful lot. Is everything all right? I’m thinking there was more to that fall than the doc found,” she said, grabbing the end of a sheet to help Lupe hang it.
Lupe smiled. Mrs. Hill had always been one of her favorite people when they lived in California. “Thank you, Mrs. Hill. I’m fine. Just keeping busy. Not a lot to do here in Belle, as you’ve probably come to realize.”
“Yes, well, your mom and Maribel have been coming over so we can stitch every evening on the front porch. Why don’t you join us?”
Lupe noticed the woman carefully monitoring her expressions, searching her face intensely.
“I don’t have any stitching projects. I’ve been meaning to head over to the mercantile and find out if they have any books I might want to read.”
“Let me know when you are headed over; I’d like to join you. I’m thinking about ordering some fabrics to have the local seamstress help me redecorate my bedroom. It’s quite boring, you see. And if I'm going to call this home, I need to make it feel as much.”
“Oh! Mrs. Hill, I did not understand you were planning for a long stay? May I ask why?” Lupe asked as she hung some pillowcases.
Mrs. Hill cupped her hands in front of her lips as if holding back a smile. “I don’t have anyone of significance back in California. Distant relatives don’t count. Your mother is my longtime best friend, and now, with Elias gone, I am feeling lonely. I figure, from Pennsylvania, getting to Belle is quicker than to California, at least for now. Plus, it gives me time to oversee the remodeling I’m planning for these two houses. After all, if this will become more of a second home for me, I want it to resemble the things I like about my California home.”
“Well, that is quite a revelation. It will be nice to have you here on a semi-permanent basis,” Lupe said with her sincerest tone.
“Lupe, I really hope you don’t mind my intruding; yet, I must ask. Do you ever see yourself having feelings for my son?”
The question caught Lupe completely off guard, as she quickly reached for another sheet to hang. She felt the flush in her face, and the pounding sun didn’t help. Clearing her throat, she prepared to answer. “Mrs. Hill. I don’t know what to say. Your son is the epitome of all things any proper lady would want, but that’s just it. I cannot allow myself to dream of such a gentleman. You, of all people, know how these relationships end. Not well. One always walks away with a broken heart, and in this case, that would be me. So, to answer your question, no. I cannot allow myself to develop such feelings,” she said, desperately wanting to walk away from the conversation.
“Oh, Lupe, surely you know my son is nothing like that. We are not like that. You know this,” Mrs. Hill pressed.
“No, you’re right. Not the Hill family. But what of everyone else? I’m not a fool, Mrs. Hill. I cannot allow myself to get caught up in the lies such hoping could bring my way. Society. The society you all move in, they would not approve. And I couldn’t ask him to save me each time someone says something cruel towards me. And well, Mrs. Hill, you know me. I have a difficult time keeping my tongue. I’m afraid I’d bring on more harm than good to such a relationship.”
Lupe’s nerves were on end, as she bit her lower lip, trying desperately not to show Mrs. Hill that she’d already fallen for her son.
“Mr. Hill, I’ll be hosting a small formal gathering at my home this evening. Won’t you please join us?” One of Elias’s new business associates said.
He nodded. “Thank you, it would be my pleasure.”
“Great! I’ll send a carriage for you at seven o’clock sharp.” The gentleman said as he disappeared into the halls of the multi-floored building of Elias’s new office.
He was thankful his mother had had the foresight of packing his trunks. He had the appropriate attire to fit in with any event.
Elias moved toward the window, taking in the smoke-hazed city of Pittsburgh.
The Hills’ investment in the mass production of steel was already paying in more money than Elias was sure his father could have ever imagined. But he wasn’t sure if he could make Pittsburgh his forever home as he allowed his mind to wander to the many places, he’d traveled. For the time being, he’d make it work because that was where he was needed.
Later, as he put on his tailcoat before exiting his temporary housing, he thought about how, eventually, he’d have to secure permanent housing, and probably move his mother here if she desired.
Yet, what he really wanted was to find a place with the woman he loved, a place she too could call home.
“Sir, the driver has arrived.” The maid announced.
The ride to his partner's affluent neighborhood allowed Elias to evaluate what he wanted to accomplish over the next few months. There was much he needed to contemplate. And now that he was away from Belle, it almost seemed like he might not return before snowfall.
The grand foyer led into a gorgeous piano room where many of the guests mingled, and someone played the piano. The host introduced his wife and daughter. He seemed quite pushy with his daughter. It wouldn’t be the first time. Elias had experienced this many time.
The young lady was about Lupe’s age, and while pretty, there wasn’t anything that made her stand out. Her conversation was dull.
Her nasal voice put him on edge.
“So, how do you like Pittsburgh?” She paused, which he took as an invitation for him to respond, except, she continued. “I want a big house in New York City. I loathe living in this godforsaken city. There’s nothing here but smoke, and society is lacking. Father promised me we’d only be here for a short time, and I plan on making sure he keeps his word.”
Elias stared at the young lady, wondering what about New York was so appealing.
“New York, huh?” he said, taking a sip from his bolstering brandy.
She grinned. “Yes, New York. That’s where all true people of civilized society belong. Plus, the shopping and ambiance in general.” She cozied up to him. “Have you ever been, Mr. Hill? To New York?”
Elias took a step back, pretending to set his glass on a side table. “Yes, I have. I quite enjoyed my visit. However, I’m a bit more of a free spirit. I enjoy traveling the world, seeing new places and meeting new people. Becoming familiar with other cultures and traditions.” He stared off into the distance. “And the foods.”
When he turned his attention back to the young lady, she was rolling her eyes. “Traveling is good, but I’m not convinced some places deemed more exotic aren’t just exaggerations. Sitting on the floor while eating? Sometimes with one’s bare hands? I’m sorry if I don’t subscribe to such things. That’s not for me. I prefer the finer things in life. The luxuries my father has afforded me, are something I am unwilling to forego.”
Conversation with the young lady only got worse as they moved to dinner. Her negativity toward the steel industry was more than clear, yet she didn’t seem bothered by spending the money which her father gladly took in. There was a clear disconnect.
Then it occurred to him. There was a strong possibility the young lady wasn’t entirely familiar with how her father's fortune was built. Not that he wanted to discredit her, but he was used to Lupe’s keen business savvy and understanding. Lupe observed every detail of her surroundings and how her parents took in money. While she might not have had a fancy education, she was smart and well-read.
T
he thought of her made him miss her tremendously. As he smiled to himself, remembering a time when they were younger, and he’d challenged her. He didn’t think she understood the trade of a blacksmith, yet; she surprised him, even surpassing his own understanding of his family’s long-standing business and the men’s loyalty. Elias argued that his father paid a fair wage, and that was what kept the men happy. But Lupe countered with many instances where his father boosted morale with caring about his men. The examples were not isolated instances, but a common practice of his father's, which he hadn’t noticed until she brought it to his attention. And as time transpired, he was more aware of how Lupe was right. The fair wages helped, but it was his father and Valerio’s ability to relate to each man's life challenges that allowed them to form a solid crew.
She was brighter than he’d given her credit for back then.
September 1881 A Summer Belle
Summer was quickly ending in Belle. Everyone seemed to be settled in, especially Maribel and Gustavo who were happily enrolled in school. Mrs. Hill and Martha found many things to keep each other occupied, and her father and the men were spending long hours at the shop, welding tracks for the railroad.
Lupe tried desperately to fit in. She visited occasionally with Hope, the sheriff’s wife. But their lives were on different paths, and conversation seemed to always come up short.
It had been several weeks since Elias had left. Mrs. Hill had received a telegram when he’d arrived and settled in Pittsburgh, but there’d been no word since. She desperately didn’t want to care; still, she did.
Mrs. Hill and her mother wanted to take a stroll by Belle Creek, so the three wandered on over in the early evening after they’d dropped a basket off at the shop with food since it would be a late night for her father and the men.
