by A. L. Brooks
She rearranged her clothes before heading off to find the bathroom. There were two cubicles, each like a small self-contained en suite, with toilet, basin, and shower. Towels were stacked on shelves, and liquid soap, tissues, and moisturiser were in baskets on the floor. She stepped into the first cubicle and locked the door behind her. She leaned against the door, closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. She could still smell Lou and brought a hand up to wipe at the slick juices coating her lips and chin. She licked her fingers, moaning at the taste. Too long…
As she washed her hands and face, she had no idea who this woman was looking back at her in the mirror. How had she just done that? How had she let go so quickly with a complete stranger? But oh God, it had been the most incredible experience.
She dried her hands on a small towel and then, with detachment, pulled down her jeans and cleaned between her legs with a moist tissue.
Did she feel any guilt at what she’d just done with Lou? She closed her eyes and searched deep inside. No, it wasn’t there. She could easily conjure up Sue’s face in her mind’s eye and felt a rush of tenderness as she did so. But love? Deep, fulfilling love that was required to keep two people together? That she wasn’t so sure about.
She opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror again. Where did this version of Max come from? Surely she should feel some shame, but she just couldn’t find that in her. Tonight, she had experienced a release of pressure, a purely functional yet utterly pleasurable sharing of sexual expression that meant nothing. And yet everything.
But what about tomorrow? Could she just walk into their house tomorrow morning and lie through her teeth about her night away in this city? She gripped the sink with both hands as a stunning thought pitched into her head. She couldn’t imagine, right here and now, having a problem doing that.
She looked away from the mirror, unable to face herself any longer, and took a few deep breaths. What now? Go back to her hotel or stay for a little longer?
She finished cleaning up, and as she towelled off, her body was still humming from that second orgasm she’d given Lou. She ached for more. Well, the genie was well and truly out of the bottle now. She stood quietly for a moment, shutting down her emotions yet again. A flush ran over her skin as she delved deep inside her fantasies and knew, without a doubt, what would round off the evening for her. She was walking a very fine line here—that little voice was persistent, if nothing else. If she let herself think about anything for too long, she just might unravel completely. So she closed it all off, kept her focus purely on her body, on her desire.
Would she find someone willing to indulge her? Toys had occasionally played a part in her sex life with Sue, back in the early days, but she hadn’t been fucked with a dildo in years. The idea of it now made her breath quicken and her cunt pulse. Taking a deep breath, she ruffled up her hair, straightened her clothes, and walked purposefully out of the bathroom. She headed across Green to the door with the small blue light above it.
The Blue Room was just as dim, but seemed to have the same basic layout as Green. There was a bar in one corner, and she stopped there first to get a bottle of water. She followed her same pattern, perching on one of the central stools to observe before committing herself to something. There were fewer couples in here—two engaged in fucking, one talking and kissing occasionally, and two unattached women at opposite ends of the room. She watched one of couples for a while, getting even more turned on by the steady rhythm they set, the noises they made, knowing just how good it would feel to be on the receiving end. She became aware of being watched herself and turned slightly to her left. Leaning against the wall was the dark-haired woman from the cab outside, watching Max watch the couple. The woman moved her hand to her crotch and ran her thumb up the length of the zip in her leather trousers. Max’s breathing quickened.
Almost without conscious thought, as it had been when first approaching the club outside, she slid slowly off the stool. Keeping her gaze on the woman, she walked towards her. When she reached her, she nervously wet her lips, not sure how this scenario would play out. The atmosphere was different in here—harder, more urgent.
Without preamble, the woman ran her open hands over Max’s tee shirt to her breasts and squeezed sharply. Max gasped as wetness flooded between her legs.
“Undo your jeans,” said the woman, her gaze never leaving Max’s.
Max moaned softly and reached down to do as she was commanded. Oh yeah, the atmosphere in here was very different. And she loved it.
When she’d undone her jeans, the woman reached out to Max’s hips, and flipped her round to face the wall. She pushed her up against it and brought her hands around to squeeze Max’s breasts again. Max thrust backwards, pushing her ass into the woman’s groin to find the hardness of the dildo inside her leather trousers. She moaned again, pushing harder. God, she was so ready for this.
“Easy,” whispered the woman, her breath hot against Max’s ear. “Soon, I promise. First I want to play a little.” The woman grabbed both of Max’s wrists and pushed her arms above her head slightly.
“Brace against the wall,” she said, and Max did as she was commanded, splaying her hands out to give herself a steady balance.
“Good girl.”
Those two words sent a shudder down Max’s body. Another fantasy, of being dominated by someone a little butch, looked like it was about to come true.
The woman moved her hands over Max’s body, underneath her tee shirt, and undid her bra. As the cups fell forward slightly, she grabbed handfuls of breast and pulled at Max’s nipples until they were hard. She thrust her hips, grinding against Max and making her whimper. “Please…please.”
“Not yet,” said the woman, her voice firm, not tinted with anything resembling desire or passion. Just control. “I set the pace, remember?”
Max nodded, unable to speak.
The woman pinched one of Max’s nipples sharply. Max gasped at the hint of pain that rapidly translated to pleasure pulsing in her clit.
“Who sets the pace?” The woman’s voice was a little firmer, and she squeezed the nipple between her fingers even harder.
“You…you do.” Oh Jesus.
“Good girl,” said the woman again, and then she yanked down Max’s jeans and underwear to her ankles. Max pushed off her short boots, and the woman helped her step out of the clothing. She pushed Max’s legs apart, eliciting a deep groan from Max. She felt deliciously exposed. The sound of the zip of the woman’s leather trousers being undone, followed by the condom wrapper being torn open, made her weak with anticipation. After a slight pause—presumably while it was rolled into place—a hot hand slipped between her legs, raking through her curls, her lips, getting covered with her juice.
“Fuck, you are so wet,” groaned the woman, the timbre of her voice the first hint that she was enjoying this as much as Max.
And then it was Max’s turn to groan again, loudly, as she felt the silicon against the back of her thigh. The woman grabbed hold of it, guided it to where Max desperately wanted it, and braced herself behind Max, one hand on her hip, one on her shoulder. Then, exquisitely, she pushed inside Max, taking her time, seeming to revel in the loud groans that escaped Max’s lips with each inch further she went. The dildo was big, thicker than she was used to, but she was so turned on. Max wanted it faster…harder, but it was pointless. Her partner would go at whatever pace she chose, and Max had no say in the matter. When the woman thrust deep, fully inside Max, she thought she might actually die from the intense pleasure. She cried out, pressing her hands even harder against the wall to push herself back against the woman.
Max gave in. She opened her legs wider, begged for more as wave after wave of extraordinary feeling coursed through her. The woman slammed into her, thighs pressed against the back of Max’s. It drove her utterly insane with pleasure. The sounds her partner was making—deep groans—heightened her own pleasure. She didn’t care that she was panting and moaning loudly. She didn’t care
that she was being fucked hard by a complete stranger in a room full of strangers. This was years in the making, and she wanted it all.
On the brink and ready to spill over, she asked, “Can I rub my clit?”
The woman replied with a sharp “Yes.”
Max moved her right hand from the wall and pressed her middle finger against her unbelievably swollen clit. It was almost too sensitive, and she pulled back slightly. It took a minute to find the right spot, the right angle, but when she did… Oh God… So good.
Her partner slammed into her, her groans intensifying as her thrusts became erratic. She was close. Max continued working her clit; she wasn’t far off herself. With a couple more deep thrusts, her partner came. Her cries were loud in the air around them, and that was all Max needed to tip her over the edge.
Her climax was hard and sharp and blinding. A scream wrenched from her throat as her body melted into a quivering mess. Her knees gave out, and the woman chuckled and caught her. She held her up as Max laughed and caught her breath, revelling in her afterglow.
Once she could breathe normally and hold her own weight, she eased herself off the dildo and stood up fully. Leaning forwards against the wall, she gave her leg muscles a few more moments to wake up. The woman zipped up behind her and then passed Max’s jeans and underwear to her.
“Thanks,” Max said, turning to face her after she slipped into her clothes.
The woman smiled and leaned in for a kiss. She tasted of beer and cigarettes, and Max could not have cared less.
“See you,” said the woman with a wink, and she walked off towards the bathrooms.
Max leaned back against the wall, her breathing still unsteady. She couldn’t decide what she’d liked most about that experience—the actual fuck or the hint of dominance that had tinged the proceedings. She’d fantasised about it often enough and read some very erotic short stories that had got her soaking wet. Experiencing even just a hint of it, though, had sent her mind reeling.
She pushed her feet back into her boots. A rather intimidating butch who’d just strolled into the room was eying her up, so Max moved away from the wall. She definitely was not looking for a third round. Staying where she was sent a very wrong message. She walked across the room, avoiding the butch’s gaze, and entered the bathrooms.
As she shut the cubicle door behind her, muting the sounds of the music and enthusiastic fucking, a wave of tiredness washed through her. She slumped down on the closed lid of the toilet and shut her eyes as she leaned back against the cistern.
She gave in to her tiredness, and that hold on her emotions, which she had largely held at bay all evening, began to loosen. Unbidden, Sue’s face popped back into her mind’s eye, and the emotions that image engendered brought a sudden sob to the back of Max’s throat. She gripped the sides of the toilet lid with her hands.
No, not now. I can’t deal with it now. Later.
Swallowing back the sob, Max released her deathlike grip and pushed herself up to standing.
She cleaned up again, just enough to be comfortable getting back to her hotel. She needed to leave. Now. She claimed her stuff from the locker and shrugged into her jacket.
“Everything okay?” asked Mandy, perhaps concerned about her newbie.
“Absolutely,” Max said, but her voice held a tremor, and she couldn’t meet Mandy’s warm eyes.
* * *
Oh dear, thought Mandy, watching the woman walk out the door. That was a strange one. When she’d first arrived, there had been a fear in her eyes that Mandy hadn’t been able to decipher. Whatever it was, Mandy wasn’t sure coming here was the right thing for her, and from the look in her eyes as she left, her evening hadn’t been quite what she’d expected.
She turned away from the front door and caught Dee’s gaze as she reached the office door.
Dee tilted her head slightly to one side, watching Mandy. “You okay?” she asked.
Mandy sighed and smiled wanly. “Yeah. Just… Sometimes this place just doesn’t work for everyone. I know it’s not the club, per se, but still.”
Dee nodded but kept silent, and Mandy appreciated that. She knew a lot of women were excited about the thought, the fantasy, of no-strings sex, thinking nothing could be simpler. They craved the freedom and the opportunity to forget everything else in their lives, even for just an hour. For a lot of the women, that was fundamentally true. It was one of the main reasons Mandy had designed the club in the first place. But for others, the emotions involved in such an intimate act interfered.
She suspected the latter was true of the hazel-eyed, curly-haired cutie who’d just walked out of here with a haunted expression on her face.
Mandy stepped up to the desk where Dee was lounging, playing Candy Crush on her phone.
“Bored?” Mandy smirked, thankful for something mundane to focus on.
Dee chuckled. “Just killing ten minutes until Cassie takes her break. Don’t distract me, I just got to level eighty-three.”
Mandy laughed, but her mind immediately drifted back to the sad woman. Even when the bell rang at the front door and she went to see who the next customer was, the woman who had just departed was at the forefront of her mind. She took the new customer’s money, went through her usual spiel, and tried very hard not to worry about what this new woman was looking for in her visit. Not all of them left here looking lost and forlorn. Not all of them came here for the wrong reasons. At the end of the day, she wasn’t actually responsible for any of that. She provided an opportunity to explore. What they did with that and how they reacted was entirely out of her control.
* * *
Max walked out into the cool night and took a few deep breaths of the relatively clean air. The atmosphere in the club had been a little claustrophobic at the end. She pulled her wallet from her bag to check that there was enough cash for the cab back to the hotel. She walked up to the main road, stood on the corner, and looked in both directions for a cab. Traffic was busy, but after a couple of minutes, she was in luck and flagged one down.
During the ride, she watched a city she didn’t know drift by through the window. The cabbie tried to start up a conversation, but after several one-word answers, he gave up. Before she knew it, they pulled up outside her hotel, and she handed over the cash.
When she got to her room, she poured herself a neat whisky and took a couple of sips while she let the shower warm up. She stripped off, her mind still in the cotton-filled daze it had been in since she’d left the club. As she stood under the hot water, washing away all traces of her hedonistic evening, she let a few memories wander into her mind. She considered them with a detachment she hadn’t felt at the time. It was as if she were watching someone else do the things she’d done. Someone else going down on Lou so eagerly, someone else bent over getting fucked from behind by that strong butch.
She stepped out of the shower, towelled herself dry, and sipped more of the whisky that was warming its way down her insides.
Her mobile rang, and she jumped. She glanced at the clock on the TV and took a deep, shuddering breath. Eleven thirty. At this time of night, it could only be Sue calling her. Probably wondering where she was, because—stupidly, she now realised—Max hadn’t called her at all this evening.
Oh God, how was she supposed to talk to her as if nothing much had happened, when exactly the opposite had occurred? She’d had her mouth and her fingers on another woman’s pussy. She’d had another woman fuck her from behind with a good, hard silicon cock.
And then, as if a dam had been broken with the insistent shrilling of her ringtone from deep inside her handbag, the sob that she had bitten back earlier broke free, followed by many, many more. The phone stopped ringing, and in the silence left behind, Max wept like she’d never wept before. All the fears and doubts and guilt and confusion over who she was, who Sue was, and who they were together overwhelmed her. Wrapped in a towel, she dropped to her knees in the middle of her hotel room floor.
Oh, fuck, what was she supp
osed to do now?
CHAPTER 4
Manchester, 1997
Mandy watched the removal men carry the last boxes into the house, squeezing her mum’s shoulder gently.
“You okay, Mum?”
Her mum turned in her direction; her eyes shimmered with tears.
“That’s it now, isn’t it?” Her mother’s voice quavered. The tears would surely start to fall soon.
She nodded and squeezed again. “Why don’t you go and put the kettle on, and I’ll see them out, okay?”
Her mum gave her a grateful look and headed down the hallway towards the kitchen.
Mandy turned to the removers and shook their hands.
“Thanks, guys. You did a good job. Appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome,” said the more senior of them. “If I could just get a signature?”
Once she’d finished with the paperwork, she waved them off and then shut the door. She found her mum in the kitchen, two mugs of tea on the counter. She was gazing out of the window at the small garden of her new home. Five months since Mandy’s dad had died, and her mum still looked as stricken as if it were yesterday. Mandy hoped the relocation, near to some of her closest friends, would help her move on with her grieving. Then it would be time for Mandy herself to move on. She’d given up her life in Australia to support her mum, but now she was getting antsy to proceed with her plans to get reestablished here at home.
Her mum turned as Mandy stepped further into the kitchen.
“Oh, sorry, darling, I didn’t see you there.” Her voice was quiet and thin, and it tugged at Mandy’s heart strings.
“Why don’t we sit down, and then we can plan the rest of the day?”
They drank their tea, and gradually Mandy got her to talk about today and tomorrow and the days after that. They came up with a plan for unpacking the house in the order that she would need things, and she could tell her mum felt better for it.
“If I haven’t said it before,” her mum said as they set their empty mugs down on the kitchen drainer, “I am so grateful to you for coming back here to help me. I know that must have been hard for you, to walk away from your life there so suddenly.”
