She's the dean of the high fae academy for gifted supernaturals. Apparently she's quite an old and powerful water fae.
Bah! Old yes, powerful? No. Tell her that I will do things as I see fit, not on a schedule she deems appropriate. She may be the dean of this school, but she has no authority of me.
I rubbed the back of my neck, "Uh, he said that he will do things as he sees fit, and not on a schedule that you deem appropriate." The room is silent for so long that I fidget in my seat and speak again, "I'm just the messenger."
Rai rubs my back, "No one is blaming you. We're just trying to understand." But you never will, I think bitterly. It brings me right back to where the conversation started. Why was I chosen? Why am I the first female fae to be the chosen vessel for the king of the fae? Nothing makes any sense. I'm a halfling, I had a human father. Surely this was some kind of mistake.
Rowan growls, I do not make mistakes. All you need to know about your mother is that she was a high and powerful fae. So much so that you being a halfling matters little to me. I was never one to advocate for full blood anyhow. A fae is a fae.
His admission is surprising to me, as the king of the fae I assumed that he'd only want full-blooded fae in his kingdom. Being as old as he must be, one assumes that he has the views of older, more traditional fae.
You do not become the king of the fae by being traditional in any sense of the word.
His words resonate within me. No one becomes great by repeating history. They create new and improved pathways to greatness. Maybe to break this cycle, to stop another great war from happening, we have to take a different approach. Instead of fighting the dark fae we can speak with them. But I suppose I need more information first before making that decision.
I address the room, "Why do we constantly go to war with the dark fae?"
Lucian speaks up, "It all started as a disagreement of land territories and more rights for the dark fae. Every light fae in existence has a dark fae counterpart, an exact copy of them," He pauses, thinking, "There's an ancient story about our kind, it states that the first group of dark fae spawned from the heads of the great founders, purging them of their sins and their darkest thoughts and feelings. That story was passed down throughout time, solidifying that the dark fae are mere copies of light fae, only existing to represent our shortcomings."
Adrian cuts in, "And as you can imagine, there was a certain amount of repression over the dark fae. Older generations of light fae thought dark fae to be beneath them when in fact they aren't. They're also not simple copies of light fae, they may look the same, but they are different. Thus, the great war started when the dark fae rebelled."
Rowan, is that why you fought the dark fae? Because you didn't find them worthy?
Originally, yes. When I lived my first life I believed the stories. Now, after my repeated resurrection just to do it all over again, no. It's all just senseless killing.
"And they've been rebelling ever since?" The men around me nod, while Fiora looks at me coolly, "Do the kings just not want to give them rights or what?"
Lucian rubs his neck, "It's more complicated than that. With most of them, light and dark alike, it's more of the principal of the thing now. Sort of like a feud."
My voices rose two octaves too high, "This is just one big elemental pissing match?" Everyone flinches, including Rowan inside my head. My disgust at the entire situation rises in my chest, threatening to overcome me. So many lives lost so much bloodshed for nothing. Perhaps that's why the universe chose a woman this time. To bring a new and different perspective to the situation because what in the hell are these men thinking. Wasting lives and soldiers like they don't have families. Like they're garbage.
I announce, "Well, it stops with me. And it will not start again. But I have to finish my training first. Only elements, the other classes are unnecessary. I need to be just as competent with my powers as Rowan, well, at least semi-close."
My power responds to my statement, flashing through each elemental signature for emphasis. Almost as if it agreed with me. The men watch my skin with a rapt, almost dreamy, expression on their faces. It's strange how attracted to my power they are. It's almost like a drug. I snap my fingers in their faces, and they seem to shake themselves out of it.
It's a side effect to your power. It gives off a certain aura to other fae and their elements. One that commands the attention of those who oppose you, and attracts the ones who may potentially love you.
Rowan said that almost sadly, as if it was a hardship for him to deal with those things. As the king of the fae, or the former king of the fae, he had all the power. The amount of pressure people must have put on his shoulders is something I can almost feel myself and its crushing.
It must have been incredibly lonely.
Yes, it was.
He doesn't elaborate further, and I don't push him. While we have just formally met it feels like I've known him all my life, and in a way I have. He's always been a part of me, and I am a part of him.
Chapter 13
For the rest of the week I continue to train with the masters during the day and with Cyrena and her group of friends at night. In each training session Rowan has been commenting on my skill, what I could do to improve, and how to train in the future. It's both helpful and exasperating. I'm training with Damon when Rowan sends me over the edge.
You know, Earth is the most useful of the elements and you suck at it.
I shout out loud, "Ugh! Shut up!" And the tree in front of me promptly explodes into one million little shards of wood. Damon ducks out of the way, bringing my head down with him to shield it. When the wood is done falling we stand and look at the wreckage. The beautiful tree we had just grown together is destroyed. No trace of it left besides a large pile of wood chips.
He snickers, I knew that would work.
Fuck you.
He falls silent again, and I say to Damon, "I'm sorry. Sometimes I just can't stand having a constant commentary in my own head. Rowan thinks Earth is more useful when used to destroy, not grow."
Damon shrugs, "He's not wrong. When it comes to war Earth is a powerful element to have in your arsenal. The Earth kingdom has the largest and strongest army of the entire light fae continent." I cross my arms and glare at him. He raises his hands in surrender and opts for shutting up while using his power to rotate the wood chips back into the earth. That's another thing important to the earth fae, giving back to mother earth which provides all fae with their power.
Rowan, what do you think Mother Earth wanted to accomplish by giving you so much power in comparison to other fae?
I watch Damon work for a while, feeling myself being drawn to him in the ways I usually am. My element is screaming for me to bed him right here in the soft grass. But I won't be kissing or hugging or making love to anyone in public. Not after what Del said on Monday. I don't want the entire campus thinking I'm on some sort of hunt for powerful males. It makes me feel dirty even though that's not even what I'm doing. Am I?
Well, you're pinning after Damon's hot ass right now so maybe it's true.
Oh, so that's the question you decided to answer.
Well, that's only because there is no way for you or I to know what Mother Earth wanted. And starting to think of that and then realizing what I actually did with it may be unbearable.
He goes silent, once again leaving me to think about his words. The amount of knowledge and self-awareness he has continually surprises me. His long existence may have a part in making him like that but I want to believe it's because it's just who he is. An introspective individual who isn't afraid to stop and think about themselves and their actions.
It's a quality in him that I greatly admire. It's something that I can learn from and is similar to what I see in Lucian. Who, by the way, hasn't spoken to me outside of training, but somehow ends up sleeping in my bed when I wake up even after I fall asleep alone.
Oh, Lucian again. Will you just tell him that you're sorry?
&n
bsp; Sorry for what? He's the one who thinks he's a terrible person. I was just trying to show him what I see in him.
But was it what he needed to hear?
Gods, there he goes again with those introspective questions. Maybe it's not such a good thing. At least not when he's saying things directed at me. And yes, I know that makes me a hypocrite. I did say that I have to learn, didn't I? Damon finishes his task and turns toward me, smiling despite my most recent blunder. The sunshine in that smile makes my heart melt. He's just so genuinely nice and sexy.
Before Rowan can comment, I hiss, don't say it.
All I hear in response is laughter as I walk up to Damon and run my hands down his chest. I can't help but touch him. Del and the other girls would understand if they had found not one, but several males that call to their elements for a mating bond.
It's a need that cannot be quenched without them. A lust so strong that your body gravitates toward them while you actively attempt to not be attracted to them. It holds a level of inevitability that leaves you feeling hopeless and breathless at the same time.
Damon wraps his arms around me, and pulls me in closer to his chest. Anywhere his hands touch lights my skin on fire with sensation. He grins down at me before running his palms down my back, making me swoon on the inside. We smile at each other while allowing our hands to roam as they wish. Our lips are so close together that any breath or movement will cause our growing desire to snowball into something that we won't be able to stop.
He whispers, "You are so beautiful. I want to kiss you," He pauses and drags his bottom lip along my jaw, "May I kiss you Tiana?" The way he says my name is almost like a seductive purr. My body responds before I do, moving closer to him, grinding against him. We hover there for a few more seconds before he gently brushed his lips against mine. Despite the almost feather-like contact it leaves me aching.
I almost moan, "More, please more."
Damon growls before lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist. He kisses me savagely, territoriality, as he walks through the trees toward the back of the quad where his living quarters are. His hands rest on my butt, and I thrust mine into his hair.
When the door to his rooms closes behind us clothing starts to fly in all directions. My power is roaring for release after several weeks of denying the connections I have with these fae males. And maybe I'm supposed to give in, maybe I can enjoy myself just this once. At least that's what I tell myself as Damon lays me onto to bed and lets his eyes run lazily up and down my naked body.
You're really going to do this? Going to give away your innocence? Rowan asks, and if I heard him correctly, sounding jealous. Damon climbs in between my legs, spreading them wide and I buck off the bed. Electricity is running through my veins and crackling over my skin.
My innocence has been gone for a long time.
Yes, with human men, not with a connected fae male. It's different.
His words make me pause just for a second, but Damon doesn't notice as he crashes his lips into mine. Passion pours into me and my body turns liquid and full of pleasure. We grind against each other and run our hands over each available inch of skin, savoring it.
Damon pauses to whisper, "Are you sure?" Rowan's words echo in my mind, but I shake them away. He may have my soul, he may be connected to me in ways that I can't fathom, but he's not real. He's a ghost inside me and can never be anything else.
"Yes."
***
Damon is in the shower when I sit up and wrap my arms around my knees. Despite my elements feeling sated and stable for the first time since I got here, my soul feels desolate. Damon is not my fated mate, that much is clear. Does he feel it too, I wonder?
I told you it would be different.
I close my eyes, I don't need you to rub it in.
I know, I’m sorry.
Rowan goes silent again, and I shake my head. I cover my face with my hands, feeling foolish for what I've done. Don't get me wrong, it felt amazing, the best sex I've ever had. But nothing that’s felt so good has also left me feeling so alone. A few tears glide down my face and I’m quick to wipe them away when the bathroom door opens. Damon comes out of the bathroom while rubbing his hair with a towel. He looks up and smiles at me until he sees my curled up position.
“What’s wrong, Tiana?”
He wraps a towel around his waist and sits down next to me on the bed. Before doing anything else he grabs the sheet to wrap it around my shoulders. I’m grateful for the gesture and it makes me feel a little bit better in this situation. At least this happened with an extremely sweet guy.
“Can I be completely honest with you?” He nods, urging me to go on, “I did that based on a primal need my magic had. I’m not trying to mate with you, or invite a courtship or whatever, and if you had another impression of it, I’m sorry.”
He rubs his hand across his mouth, “I know, and it’s okay. I’m not so serious about the whole thing. I like you Tiana, a lot. And if this goes my way, and you like me back, I’ll be over the moon about it. But I also understand that you’re under a lot of pressure right now and that you deserve to make choices and not be judged for those choices.”
“I appreciate that Damon, but this won’t be happening again. At least not until I make a decision. It was a moment of weakness.”
He rubs my back before standing up to retrieve my clothing for me. I stand and get dressed as he does the same in his closet. It surprised me how honest and accepting he was about my crappy explanation. It’s a breath of fresh air compared to the constant seriousness of Lucian and I’s relationship. But I’m positive I won’t be doing this with him or anyone else until I’ve made a decision. I won’t be the fae whore Del makes me out to be.
I grab my bag and am about to slip out when Damon emerges from the closet. He walks up to me and leans down to leave a gentle kiss on my cheek. I close my eyes and blush at the contact. Despite the mixed feelings of our sexual encounter, I’m leaving feeling much better than I did a few minutes ago.
“If it’s any consolation, you’re fantastic in bed,” I laugh out loud, and he continues, “And if you have another moment of weakness I’d be happy to oblige.”
I hit him on the chest, laughing, before waving goodbye.
***
I leave the Earth compound, walk past all the other buildings, and trudged into the thick forest surrounding the academy. A dark, humid feeling blankets me, forcing me to let out a sigh. This forest is different from the Earth quad. These trees were grown organically, no magic required. I walk further into the groove of trees and eventually come to an open clearing. Lying down in the soft grass, I gaze up at the trees and spots of blue sky above me.
I whisper, "What the hell am I doing?"
The best that you can. Give yourself a break, you've only been a part of our world for three weeks. You're allowed to explore your sexuality, it's your right as a woman.
"It feels like a lifetime. And gods, will you please stop sounding exactly like Lucian? It's both confusing and a bit scary."
Confusing?
"You make me feel things that I shouldn't. You're not real, Rowan. Lucian is a real breathing fae male that I want to love, that I hope will let me love him. And when you act like this, and talk to me as a fall asleep, and sooth me when I'm sad it makes me confused."
He's quiet for a minute, and I lay there with my eyes closed, trying not to be embarrassed by my admission. If our relationship is going to work, whatever kind it may be, we need to be open with each other. We're mentally connected for god's sake.
Open your eyes, Tiana.
My eyes flutter open and I sit up. A silhouette of a fully transformed fae male is sitting cross-legged in front of me. He's the spitting image of Lucian, despite small differences. He looks like he'd be taller and brawnier. Despite him merely being an image made of magic and light, his eyes glow deep purple, the darker cousins to Lucian's. His midnight hair is long and pulled back behind his head in a braid running down his back. Row
an could be Lucian's older brother. Or a more dangerous, feral, and powerful version of him.
"Why do you look just like him? How are you doing this?"
My reply comes out breathy and strange. He replies, and while his mouth moves, I can only hear him in my head.
Using your magical well, I can manifest like this for short periods of time. I look like Lucian because I am his distant relative. Before I became the king of the fae, I was a citizen of the spirit court within the royal family.
My hands move toward his form by themselves before I snatch them back again, "Can I touch you?"
He moves closer, one blink he's a few feet away, and then his knees are nearly touching mine. It doesn't startle me. If anything, I lean closer to him in wonder. His form is made up entirely of magic, swirling colors moving quickly throughout.
High Fae Academy - Year One: Fae Paranormal Romance Page 11
