by K. G. Reuss
“Tarek, just say what you want to say, OK?”
A muscle popped along his jaw before he spoke in a low, rushed whisper, “Fine. Cyrena was once Kellin’s betrothed. The arrangement ended because your father wanted you to marry him instead of Calixto Shadowmoore. However, Cyrena and Kellin’s father did not meet to dissolve the arrangement. It wasn’t taken to the Elders. Kellin being engaged to you is against our laws. Ask him yourself if you don’t believe me. Your Prince Niall belongs to another. Legally, of course. Where his heart truly lies is a mystery. But ask him why he was a day behind when he returned home the morning of your wedding announcement. Word has it he was very much in love with the young Cyrena. So in love that he tried to run away with her to avoid having to marry you, or hasn’t he told you?”
“I didn’t know that.” I swallowed thickly, my heart feeling like it just fell fifty stories to the pit of my stomach.
“I expect not. Your brother doesn’t even know about it. Prince Niall’s brother Casimir tracked him down and brought him back. So, if in your heart you have any doubts about being with the prince, you can always have that bit of information in your arsenal. A Plan B. Remember that lesson, Ana. Always have a Plan B. Sometimes having a Plan C doesn’t hurt either.” His eyes swept my face quickly. “It’s important to listen to the thunder before the storm.”
I didn’t get to answer him because Kellin and Soran were suddenly at my side. Kellin tugged me to my feet and ran his fingers through my hair, staring at me like he hadn’t just seen me hours before.
“Are you well?” he asked, studying me.
“I’m better.” I forced a smile, still trying to come to terms with the news Tarek had given me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I didn’t even know how to process it. My fiancé was meant to be with another—someone he was actually in love with and didn’t run away from, in fact, he’d tried to run away with her. How was that fair to any of us? I didn’t like it. It didn’t sit well with me. Maybe he didn’t love me like he loved her, and if that were true, all of this was a lie.
“Thank God.” He kissed my forehead and breathed out deeply.
“How was the scouting?” Tarek asked gruffly, getting to his feet.
“Good,” Soran answered. “Nothing out of the ordinary that we could find.”
“Then we ride for Sarnia?” Tarek grabbed his sword and slid it back in its sheath.
“Yes, with a few exceptions,” Soran answered uncomfortably, his gaze shifting to Kellin who’d tensed. “Prince Niall will be going to Marriot with a few troops while the rest of us continue to Sarnia to head off Zaros’s attack.”
“And what of the princess?” Tarek demanded sharply, looking at me.
“I’d like her to accompany me to Marriot,” Kellin spoke up, squeezing my hand. “I want to keep her as far away from Sarnia as I can.”
“Why do you need to go to Marriot?” I broke in, causing the group to stare at me. “There were no survivors. Not left in that town. They’ve since fled.”
“Did you see that, Ana?” Kellin asked me, his voice changing into something hard, something sad and angry.
“It’s what I know. Now, don’t lie to me, Kellin,” I said, my voice stronger. Images that cut me like a knife flashed in my mind—a tender touch, a passionate kiss, a trickle of tears. “What’s the real reason you ride to Marriot? Don’t tell me it’s about survivors. I just told you those who did survive have long left. It’s one resident in particular, isn’t it?”
“Ana—” Soran spoke up, trying to deescalate a rapidly rising situation.
“No, she’s right,” Kellin said, turning to me. “I ride there to look for a friend. Cyrena. It’s important to me that she be found.”
“Is this friend the reason you were a day behind Soran when returning the day of our wedding announcement?” I asked, my voice low and dangerous. I was on the verge of losing it. A whirlwind of emotions built inside my heart, emotions I was having a hard time dealing with.
“Ana, I … yes. Yes, I stopped to see her,” Kellin answered, his voice tight.
“And?” I demanded, raking my eyes up to look at him.
His face fell, and he shook his head at me.
“Don’t lie to me, Kellin. Don’t you dare lie to me. I can look inside you and see the lies. Is that what you want? Do you want me to See them for myself?” I was yelling now, and some of the surrounding troops were looking interestedly at us.
“You didn’t know about us. Ana. You didn’t know we were to be married. I gave up my life, my love, for you. I-I just wanted to say goodbye. That’s all.” Kellin’s shoulders slumped forward.
“And so you did,” I murmured, an ugly image flashing in my mind as Kellin’s fingers brushed against mine, fingers that had been tangled in her long hair while candlelight danced in the background. “You said you’ve loved me for a long time, Kellin. But when did you stop loving her?”
“I have loved you for a long time,” he answered fiercely, ignoring the question that mattered most. “Have I not proven it to you?”
“As a matter of fact, you have.” I nodded, licking my lips and stepping back. “You’re right. I didn’t know we were going to be married. I didn’t love you, not like that, anyway. I’m sorry you gave up so much for me. Neither of us asked for this. I have no business being upset about what happened in Marriot.”
“It’s not like that, Ana.” Kellin took a step toward me. “Don’t be upset with me. Please. I-I kissed her goodbye. It was a mistake. I stopped it before it went too far. Those feelings for her died when I devoted myself to you.” Confusion colored his face and tone, making my heart ache for him and me.
“We both know it went too far. It never should’ve happened in the first place.” Anger coursed through me because he’d lied to me. If he loved her, then fine. But he didn’t have to lie about it. We all loved and lost people. We all had to face it. Lying about it wouldn’t change the situation.
He reached for me, and I Saw a flash of something—the necklace Calix had given me for my birthday. I’d forgotten about it until that moment, so wound up in my grief over losing him—and then myself—that it had slipped from my mind. The memory came back when Kellin’s fingers brushed against me—when I saw him take it off my lifeless body.
“I want my necklace back,” I murmured, my eyes fixed on Kellin. “You know the one. I want it back.”
“Ana,” Kellin pleaded, but I shook my head at him angrily.
I marched away from the group. Soran called for me to come back, but I didn’t want to go back. I needed to be alone with my thoughts.
“Ana.” Kellin caught up to me and grabbed me by my elbow, turning me to face him. “Don’t. Please. Talk to me.”
“Tarek told me about you and Cyrena,” I whispered. “Why did you have to lie about it? And why did you take the necklace Calix gave to me?”
“Ana, I didn’t lie. I took the necklace because… I don’t know. It was a mistake. I was so caught up in everything that I didn’t think about it. I never gave it back because we were moving forward, and I thought it would only set us back if you saw it again. As for Cyrena, we’re friends. She’s important—”
“Kellin, I know you were engaged to her and had to break it off when my father came to your father with the proposal to marry me,” I said, ignoring the talk of the necklace for a moment. “I know you tried to run away with her because you didn’t want me. You lied to me and said you didn’t fight it. But you were so head over heels in love with this girl that you risked everything to be with her. You even stopped to be with her the day of our wedding announcement. You returned to Dar’ish to be with me, a broken, confused girl. Now, you’re stuck with me, someone you didn’t even want in the first place.”
“Ana,” Kellin said softly, thumbing my bottom lip. “I was in love with her. All of what you said is true. However, I chose to leave her. I chose to come back and go to you. I chose to do this. I made a mistake with her in Marriot. I’m so sorry, Ana. I was scared. I-I
didn’t know if I could handle being rejected by you again, especially after all I’d given up to be with you.”
“Why?” I demanded. “Why leave behind someone you love for someone… someone like me? You said it yourself, Kellin. You gave up your life for me. You should’ve known me better than that to think I’d want that for you. And then you were with her only weeks ago ... If you already loved me and had accepted the plan for our future, then why go see her at all? Why kiss her? Why leave her? Why any of it? Just ... why?”
“Because, I have a duty to my people—”
“So, it was about duty and money and politics? What about all that stuff you said about being in love with me? Was that a lie?”
“No. I am in love with you. I have been for a very long time. God, why can’t you understand, Ana? You can love more than one person. You loved Calix, and I know you love me. We love each other. It can grow even more—”
“Kellin,” I said sadly, shaking my head. “Love shouldn’t have to grow. If you love someone, you love them. You shouldn’t be forced to be with someone you don’t love with your whole heart. If you love Cyrena like I love Calix, then you have to be with her. I care enough about you to want that for you.”
“But I do love you, Ana,” Kellin said fiercely, reaching for me, but I pulled away.
“Do you? Or is it just another duty? You had to love me. I remember you saying you were forced. I don’t want you to be forced, Kellin.”
“I’m not being forced. I chose this. I. Love. You.”
“You had no more choice than I did. Why separate yourself from your men, my brother, to go look for someone who you can never be with? Why put your troops in harm’s way to search for one person? The answer is simple… because you still love her.”
He didn’t say anything, only looked at me with desperation and sadness in his eyes—and an answer to my question. He was right. We could love more than one person, but we could never love both equally. One would always matter more. I didn’t have the heart to ask which person meant more to him. I assumed I already knew it since he was breaking away from the group.
“I will not ride with you to Marriot,” I whispered, tears in my eyes. “I have a duty to my people, Kellin, and it isn’t to find a possible survivor. It’s to prevent the death of hundreds, thousands more. I’ll ride with Soran to Sarnia.”
“No. I forbid it.” Kellin shouted, causing Soran, Tarek, and the other men to gawk at us.
Soran took a few steps toward us, but Tarek held his arm out to stop him, saying something to him. Soran nodded and continued to survey us, his eyes narrowed. I had no doubt he was trying to listen to what was happening.
“You’re my future queen. I say where you go. I’m saying no to this, Ana. You’re coming with me,” Kellin hissed.
“You cannot forbid me,” I replied sadly. “I’m not yours to command, Kellin. Your arrangement to marry Cyrena was never officially abolished. It still stands, and Winterset law is what it is. I am not your betrothed. She is, and we both know it. That’s why you ride to Marriot. It’s why you paid her a visit all those months ago.”
“Ana, it’s not true.” Kellin’s eyes flashed angrily. “I-I don’t love her. Not-not like that. I love you. You are mine. You.”
“I’m not going to argue the point,” I replied, trying to be strong, holding my head up high. “The law is the law. We both know it. For now, let’s leave it at that. You’ve made your decision, and I’ve made mine.”
“I told you Tarek wanted you,” Kellin said softly, his voice dark and angry. “I told you, Ana. He’s trying to break us apart. That’s why he told you everything. That’s why he looks at you now. He wants this. Can’t you see that?”
“No, he’s being truthful. Something you never were,” I shot back. “Something we both never were.” I glanced over at Tarek, my heart fluttering madly in my chest as he gazed back at me. “I think it’s safe to say that both of us feel for someone else, even if we don’t want to admit it openly.”
He grabbed my arm and stared me down, his eyes wavering with a sheen of tears.
“What are you talking about? I never lied about loving you, Ana. Never. Come with me. Don’t go to Sarnia. I-I can’t protect you if I’m not there.”
“So be there,” I answered, a tear leaking out of my eye.
He looked tortured but didn’t relent. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I have to do this.”
“I’m sorry too” I replied, my stomach clenching as I walked away.
Chapter 41
Kellin wouldn’t look at me. I saw him and Soran step away from everyone to have a very heated discussion, one from which both emerged looking angry.
“It’s for the best, Princess,” Tarek said, coming to stand beside me as I watched the sun begin to set.
“Is it?”
He was silent. It was a long time before he finally spoke again. “Cyrena’s father has petitioned the High Council numerous times to have the matter of their engagement looked into, but nothing has ever come of it. If you love him, then be with him. If you don’t and aren’t ready, then this is the best course of action. This is your out.”
“I don’t know what I want or feel anymore. I feel like I’ve been drained, and I’m sick of it. I’m tired of having to know everything. I just want this nightmare to be over so I can return home.”
“To Dar’ish?” Tarek inquired.
“No, to Earth Realm. I don’t want to stay here. I miss my life. My friends.”
“This is your kingdom, Princess. Your court. This is your life. It always has been.”
“I know,” I murmured. “But it’s not fair.
“You’ll find that a great many things in life aren’t fair. You just have to deal with them the best you can and hope for a good outcome.”
“Where did the mean sword instructor go?” I mused, glancing at him, fighting the pull in my chest.
He shrugged and gave me a small smile. “Still here. Still disappointed with your sword skills. In retrospect, I feel like we should’ve taken your suggestion and worked on your wielding skills. I could’ve taught you Earth wielding. That’s my fault. I hadn’t realized how truly awful you’d be with a sword. Should you become captured or harmed, I’ll only blame myself for it.”
“You’re still a jerk.” I bumped my shoulder into his and gave him a small smile.
He returned my grin, his hand finding mine and giving it a small squeeze that sent a warmth flooding through me. I had a feeling that I was looking into someone’s face I should know. If only I could figure it out.
“You know, once I figure out who you really are, we might not be friends anymore,” I teased half-heartedly, watching him for his reaction.
His face remained impassive as he turned to me, his hand falling from mine.
“I hadn’t realized we’d taken our relationship to the friend level.”
“You’re unbelievable.” I laughed. It felt good to laugh. I’d been hurting for so long, all my wounds scabbing, healing, and then breaking open again. I hated it.
“Joking aside, the truth may hurt you, Ana. It may surprise you. Whatever response it elicits, know that I mean you no ill will, and I’ll be true to my word despite my past—our past. Things change. People change. I’m sorry ahead of time.”
“You make it sound as if I’ll hate you,” I murmured, gazing up at him.
“It’s what I expect,” he replied. “It’s what most people would do if they knew. They’d hate me.”
“I-I don’t think I could ever hate you, Tarek” I frowned, that strange flutter back in my chest.
“I pray you don’t,” he said softly.
“Analia. Tarek. We’re leaving,” Soran called out.
We walked back silently, me rolling Tarek’s words over in my mind, desperate to know who he was. He told me I had to focus on it, control my visions, and I’d be able to see. The fear of knowing kept me from trying. I wasn’t sure I was ready for more surprises.
Chapter 42
<
br /> “Prince Niall is going to cut a portal for us to use a few hours from Sarnia,” Soran called out to the troops. “After, he’ll leave us to travel to Marriot to search for possible survivors. The Oracle will remain with us while her betrothed, Prince Niall—” Soran cut me an even look. “—ensures the safety of any of the survivors of Marriot. The prince is requesting volunteers to assist him. I think twenty of you should go with him. Who would like to volunteer?”
The men looked at each other before Rowan stepped forward. I gave him a small smile which he returned. A few more men stepped forward while some hesitantly raised their hands. Soran pulled out twenty of them from the crowd, and they went to stand behind Kellin who wore a mask of hurt on his face. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t cast him a glance.
“Prince Niall will be tired after creating the portals. He won’t be as strong as he usually is, so be aware that he may need more protection than he typically requires,” Soran continued. “Also, since Prince Niall is separating from us, our princess will need more protection. Captain Tarek has been assigned as her guard, but I’d like for each and every one of you to keep an eye on her. Her safety is the most important thing out there. It even overrides my own.”
I caught Rowan looking at me from beside Kellin with, a what the hell is going on look on his face. I gave him a small, forced smile hoping to reassure him that all was well before turning back to Soran.
“Today we face an adversary who threatens not only our lives, but all of Winterset. If we retreat in fear, he wins. Be brave. Fight hard. Your wives and children depend on your victory. Reinforcements are headed our way from Bornia and Dar’ish. If it comes down to it, we’ll fall back.” When he finished, he turned to Kellin who took a step forward, a determined look on his face.
Kellin closed his eyes, his face beading with sweat as he cut a portal into the air. The air around us vibrated with his power. Men hurried into it, going through the opening on their horses. I could see a pretty countryside through the portal which didn’t look much different than the place where we now stood. Kellin held his hand out, trying to maintain the portal as the men rode through it. Tarek grabbed me and tugged me onto the front of his horse. He rode to where Kellin was standing and stopped. Kellin gazed up at me sadly, a tear in his eye.
