Chasing Dreams

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Chasing Dreams Page 18

by Deborah Raney

“They’re actually building on our property. They’re hoping to break ground sometime this month.”

  Luke increased the pressure on her back ever so slightly. “We probably should get going.” His whisper was just loud enough for Ben to hear.

  “Yes. Of course.” She turned to Leland and Rachel. “It was nice to see you. And to meet you, Rachel.”

  “Yes,” Luke said. “Nice to meet you all.”

  The trio walked on, but Ben looked back and threw Joanna a smile that could only be described as “knowing.”

  She and Luke walked on to the car in silence, but once inside the stifling interior, Luke turned to her with a questioning smile. “So, how is it you know … Ben, is it?”

  “Yes. Ben Harven. We dated. Once upon a time.”

  “I gathered that.”

  “Oh? How?”

  “He was sending messages.”

  “Messages?”

  “He just … he was making it clear that he was here first.”

  “Here? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Luke shrugged. “It’s a guy thing.”

  She hesitated, then decided to plunge in. “It kind of seemed like you might have been sending your own messages. What was that all about?”

  “What do you mean?” He was suddenly intent on the steering wheel.

  “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel having two guys who, by the way, have no claims on me, getting into a ‘guy thing’ match over my affections.”

  He put a hand over his heart, looking sheepish. “I deserved that.”

  She smiled. “Just so you own it.”

  He backed out of the parking lot and started onto the street, but then braked and turned to her, twisting the brown beads at his throat. “So, just how serious were things with you and this Ben character?”

  CHAPTER 25

  LUKE WATCHED JOANNA’S FACE, SEARCHING for telltale clues, but finding none. He had no right to even ask her the question, let alone entertain the jealousy clawing at him. But knowing that didn’t change the intensity of his emotions. Ben had seemed like a nice enough person, but Luke didn’t like the … familiar way he looked at Joanna. The way he called her Jo.

  He smirked to himself. Who was he to judge? He’d flung out a Phee, as if he knew Joanna’s sister well enough to refer to her by a nickname he’d never used himself. But hey, like he told Joanna, it was a guy thing.

  And he didn’t blame Joanna for disliking being the pawn in their masculine one-upmanship. Especially when he had no claims on her whatsoever. But that was just it. He wanted claims on her. Maybe even more, now that he saw the competition. “You don’t have to answer that. Your relationship with this Ben guy is none of my business.” He immediately regretted giving her an out because he really wanted—needed—the answer.

  “We dated for a year. Almost a year.”

  “That sounds pretty serious.”

  “It was. I guess …”

  “Was? How recently was?”

  She looked askance at him. “We broke up more than a year ago. I wouldn’t be here with you if there was still anything between Ben and me.”

  The simple declaration—I wouldn’t be here with you—planted a seed of hope. “So, why’d you break up?”

  She tucked the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. “Basically, he didn’t like me spending so much time with my mom. When she was sick.”

  “Seriously?” Shut up, Blaine. He’d said it as if Ben was a jerk. And it sounded like he was, but Luke knew better than to make a woman defend her choice of boyfriend. Even a former boyfriend. And besides, that had to have been hurtful.

  “He was a little immature,” Joanna said, sounding as defensive as he’d expected. “He’s a nice guy though. I’m sure he’s grown up since then.”

  Exactly. And with Joanna’s mom gone and Ben’s supposed reason for their breakup no longer an issue, the guy posed a genuine threat. And he didn’t have a kid. At least not that Luke knew of. “So, you still like him?”

  “Not that way … if that’s what you mean.”

  “I guess I just want to know where I stand.”

  “Where you stand? Luke, I thought this was about just being friends.”

  His face heated. “I said that, didn’t I?”

  “Unless you have a doppelgänger.” Her smile was more like a smirk.

  “True confession: I said that because it seemed like the only way to keep you in my life.”

  “In your life?”

  “Joanna, if Mateo is something—someone—you absolutely can’t see in your life, then maybe … it’s not fair to either of us to try to—” He was bungling this big-time. “What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think I can just be friends with you. I will always wonder … wish there was more. And quite honestly, after meeting your Ben, I don’t think I’ll handle it very well when—”

  “He’s not my Ben. I told you we haven’t been together for a year and a half.”

  “Yes, but he still likes you.”

  She put a hand on her hip. “And you know this, how? And don’t tell me it’s a guy thing.”

  “Even if it is? Come on, Joanna … Surely you saw how he was acting with you.”

  “Acting?”

  “Behaving. Conducting himself. Posturing.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Dictionary.”

  “Mr. Thesaurus, actually.” He grinned, hoping she saw the humor.

  “And he wasn’t posturing. Not really. That’s … just Ben.”

  “Fine. But I still contend that he likes you.”

  “I doubt he would have dated me for almost a year if he didn’t.”

  “I thought you said a year and a half.”

  “No, I said we haven’t been together for almost a year and a half. It’s actually been a year and six and three-quarter months now, if you want to get technical about it.”

  “And the fact that you know down to the quarter month surely says something.”

  “It’s a girl thing.”

  He smiled, not feeling it. “Okay, I had that coming.”

  The smile she returned didn’t quite reach her eyes. “There’s nothing between me and Ben. This is only the second time I’ve seen him since we broke up. And, for the record, there’s nothing between you and me either, right? We’re just friends?”

  “Only because it seems like that’s the only way you’ll have it. Because of Mateo.”

  She nodded. “And speaking of Mateo, he’s probably worried about you.”

  He checked the time on his phone, mildly alarmed at how late it was. But Mateo would have called if he was worried. He nodded. “I should probably get back. But … this discussion is to be continued, okay?”

  She pondered his question a few seconds too long. “Can you give me some time?”

  “How much time?”

  “I’m not sure, Luke. Maybe a week or two. I need to think about it, pray about it, okay?”

  “That’s a long time.” He shrugged. “But I can’t exactly argue with that—the praying part, I mean.”

  She smiled, as if she’d just won a bet.

  And maybe she had.

  Joanna lifted a hand over the steering wheel in a half-hearted wave as Luke drove from the parking lot of Pritchert & Pritchert. He’d insisted on waiting until she was behind the wheel with her engine running before he drove off.

  Why did he have to make it so hard to put him out of her mind?

  She drove through town and turned off onto Poplar Brook Road, glad there were guests staying in the cottage tonight so she’d have an excuse to talk things over with Britt. It always helped to talk to one of her sisters. In truth, she would have preferred Phee, who she saw as her older and therefore wiser sister. But Britt had grown up a lot since Mom’s death, and Jo had become even closer to her younger sister now that Phee was married.

  The cottage was rented all weekend—including Monday night, according to Britt—and the Airbnb rentals were paying the utilities and keeping the renovation fund from drying
up. They’d had some of the nicest people stay with them, and the online reviews so far were beyond glowing. Everyone seemed to love the location, and Joanna’s scones got high marks from a few reviewers too. Even though their interaction with guests was mostly limited to check-in, Joanna was surprised how much she liked that aspect of the business.

  Of course, they’d had a jerk or two rent the cottage, as well, but thankfully even they had left good reviews. Dealing with difficult people was just part of running a business—as Phee often reminded them, having worked in retail for many years. Jo wasn’t so sure about the customer always being right, but she did relish seeing other people enjoy the fruit of their labors. And knowing how much their mother would have loved this venture helped keep Mom’s memory alive.

  Britt was still handling reservations and doing the bulk of the work related to the cottage rentals. They’d finally quit talking about Britt finding a job, since Phee’s and Jo’s day jobs didn’t leave them time to take up the slack if Britt were to take on even a part-time job. Phee and Jo paid Britt a small salary so she’d have spending money, but she still insisted on paying her share of the groceries out of her check.

  Even though they’d hired out most of the painting and renovations, it had been hard work getting the cottage and cabins finished. And they still had a ways to go with the third cabin, the one closest to the clearing stairway—the one that would serve as a bride’s dressing room if Joanna could convince her sisters to open the clearing as a wedding venue.

  Still, driving along the lane to home, Jo was reminded that none of them regretted their decision to buy the property. Since it had been paid for with their inheritance from Mom, it felt like her final gift to the three of them. And sometimes Jo could almost see her mother’s smile as she pulled into the place that truly felt like home now.

  Rounding the curve, she saw lights in the windows of Britt’s cabin. Every window. A pretty sight, despite the fact that Jo could almost see the numbers climbing on the electric meter. Behind the cabins, an almost full moon illuminated the rooflines and made a wavering reflection in the slice of the river visible between the two stone buildings.

  Inside, Jo discovered Britt on the phone with a friend, deep in conversation about a mutual friend who was apparently in the middle of a messy breakup with a boyfriend. After a quick hello to Joanna, Britt went to her bedroom and closed the door.

  So much for talking things over with that sister. Maybe she would call Phee later. But besides the fact that Jo hesitated to bother the newlyweds, it seemed lately all Phylicia wanted to talk about was the plans for the house she and Quinn were building.

  Joanna got that. She’d be excited, too, if it were her. And she did enjoy looking at the Pinterest boards and decorating ideas Phee sent her almost daily. But sometimes it seemed like Phee had forgotten that her sisters had lives too.

  She changed into yoga pants and a T-shirt, fixed a glass of iced tea, and carried it out to the backyard overlooking the river. The waters had receded considerably since the rains that almost flooded the cabins last winter, but there was still enough water that they could boast river views in their Airbnb listing. Of course, the listing didn’t mention the mosquitoes that apparently loved the river views too. She ran back inside for a wand to light the citronella candle.

  Britt had planted several terra cotta pots with citronella grass and lavender and placed them at the corners of the tiny flagstone patio they’d uncovered near the back door. The plants were supposed to ward off mosquitoes, but pretty as they were, the pots were the extent of the landscaping out here. Of course, the tree-lined banks of the tributary were free landscaping, but after sitting in Luke’s cozy backyard, Joanna looked around the patio with an eye to what they could do to spruce up this space.

  Twinkle lights would be a good start. The lights they’d strung in the clearing for Phee’s wedding were magical. They’d left them in place, intending to spend more time up in the clearing, but their attention had been focused on getting the cabins ready to list for rental, and they’d only been up there a few times.

  A fountain might be nice. She’d loved the one on Luke’s patio, but she wouldn’t want to compete with the natural sound of the river waters lapping at the banks. The frogs and crickets added their own music, and even now, their lullaby soothed her. She scooted a tattered lawn chair closer to the low stone wall that enclosed the backyard and put her feet up on it.

  She’d just begun to relax when her phone shattered the night sounds. She pulled it from her pocket and glanced at the screen. She didn’t recognize the number, though it bore a Cape area prefix. No doubt a sales call, but since her cell phone number was a secondary contact for the Airbnb, and with Britt on her phone, she didn’t dare ignore the call.

  “Good evening. Thanks for calling The Cottages on Poplar Brook Road.”

  “Joanna?”

  “Yes … this is Jo.”

  “Oh, hi. For a minute there, I thought I’d called a wrong number.” Ben’s deep voice, once so familiar, took her aback.

  “No, it’s me. We use my number for the Airbnb sometimes. Sorry about that. You must have gotten a new number though. Your name didn’t show up on my—”

  “Yeah. I was getting too many stupid sales calls with the other one. You can change it to this number in your contacts.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” She hadn’t had Ben in her contacts for a year, though she could have rattled off his old number in a flash. But he didn’t need to know that.

  “No problem.” He was silent for a few seconds. “Listen, I … It was really good to see you tonight. Man … it’s been a long time.”

  “Yes. It has.” What on earth was he up to?

  “I just wondered how you were.”

  Jo hesitated a beat. “I’m fine.” Hadn’t she told him that mere hours ago?

  “I wondered … I mean, I don’t know if there’s something between you and this Luke guy, but if not … would you want to go out to dinner with me this weekend?”

  “This weekend? As in tomorrow?”

  “Wait. What day is it? The Fourth holiday has me all messed up. I guess I meant next weekend. Like next Friday night … or Saturday if that works better.”

  “Ben. I don’t—”

  “Hey, like I said, if you’re with someone … I’m not trying to horn in or anything. So, are you and him … together?”

  “Not … Not exactly.” She was tempted to lie and say she and Luke were a couple. Or to tell him the truth—that she didn’t have a clue where she stood with Lukas Blaine. “We’ve had a few dates. That’s all.”

  “I’ve missed you, Jo.”

  Seriously? Had he even heard her? “Ben, I don’t think it would be a good idea—”

  “I’m not saying pick up where we left off or anything. I’d just like to see you. Catch up with you. I really have missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” She purposely used the past tense. Because while it had been true for the first year after he broke her heart, since she’d met Luke, she hadn’t given Ben much thought. Except to compare him—unfavorably—with Luke. It was tempting to tell him that truth. To let him see what it felt like. But she wouldn’t be cruel.

  “Then let’s get together. For old time’s sake.”

  “I’m not sure that would be a good idea,” she said again.

  “Jo, I’ve thought about you so much. I’m not sure what happened with us, but could we try again? See if there’s still something—”

  “Ben, I don’t—”

  “Only as friends. Start slow. See where it takes us. We were good together. You can’t deny that.”

  She couldn’t deny it. There’d been a time she thought she and Ben were meant for each other. God’s gift to each other even. He was her first love, and he had a lot of qualities she admired in a man. He’d always made her heart beat a little faster—yet in a very different way than Luke did. But that shouldn’t be the measure of a man, should it?

  She and Ben always had fun togethe
r and good conversations. She’d grown as a person with him. And he’d always said she did the same for him. And they’d never fought. Even on the night they broke up.

  But tonight, he seemed like the old Ben. Friendly and engaging. And it warmed her heart to know that he’d never stopped thinking about her. That he missed her.

  Was it possible this was God’s way of redirecting her affections? Had God brought Ben back into her life to rescue her from a situation that had the potential to bring nothing but stress and disappointment? The timing seemed too specific to be a coincidence.

  The thought brought a stab of guilt. Luke couldn’t help it that he’d been saddled with Mateo. The knife twisted. Luke would never have used that term—saddled. He saw his responsibility toward Mateo as a sacred duty. An honor even. It wasn’t his fault that he’d committed to Mateo before he’d gotten to know her. And it wasn’t her fault that she simply didn’t want to take on responsibility for a child.

  And now, just when she’d asked Luke for time to consider where their relationship was going, here was Ben, wanting her back. Having had a change of heart, it seemed. Most importantly, Ben was a man without complications. She didn’t take that fact lightly. She had to at least explore the possibilities. Especially when the timing seemed almost like divine intervention.

  She had to settle things in her own mind, to know if there might still be something between her and the man who’d been her first true love.

  “Sure. I guess we could get together. To … catch up.”

  CHAPTER 26

  SWEAT DRIPPED INTO JOANNA’S EYES and she leaned back on her haunches, blotting her face with her shirttail, careful to keep her balance lest she fall into the fresh paint on the bathroom floor. “Is that AC even working?”

  “Can’t you hear it running?” Britt looked up from the stencil she’d meticulously situated at the edge of the tiny bathroom floor.

  They’d decided the wood of this cabin’s bathroom floor wasn’t in good enough shape to refinish, so they were trying a black-and-white painted stencil. It was looking great, but the project had turned out to be a lot more complicated than either of them anticipated.

 

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