* * *
Pills were easily obtained in Club Z. The dealers knew us, we were all on first name terms. We didn’t even have to ask. I would just nod or shake my head when I saw them lurking in the corners of the club. Then there was a hurried handshake and I knew we’d have no trouble making it through the night. I felt like I’d come home again, comforted by the music and the people I’d built my whole life around. When it turned two o’clock and it was time to actually go home it felt early; Al and I had only truly been awake for a few hours.
Paul’s brother George was there, the bloke who’d driven us to the rave at the fire station. I’d spent ages chatting to him in the toilet, both of us waxing lyrical about hardcore music. We bumped into him when we left and he offered to drop us home.
“Don’t suppose you’ve got any pills have you?” I asked him from my place on the back seat behind Al.
“Afraid not. Got some acid though if you want it,” he laughed.
“Yeah go on then George,” Al said.
“I was only joking mate,” George replied.
“You haven’t got any then?” Al asked.
“I have,” George said. “I don’t think you want to be doing it now though do you?”
Al looked to me.
“Is it dangerous?” I asked.
George turned to me and laughed, “All drugs are dangerous mate.”
“True,” I replied. “Fuck it. Why not.”
“If you’re both sure.”
“Have we got to go back to yours?” Al asked.
George pulled the car over outside a random house, somewhere between Wanton and Kirk-Leigh.
He removed the keys from the ignition, then took the bottle opener on his key ring and used it to lever open the Vauxhall badge on his steering wheel. Inside was a hole, he reached in and took out a ball of silver foil. Peeling back the foil revealed two plastic bags- one with about an eighth of weed in and the other that appeared to be empty. He held the empty plastic bag up so we could see it. There were two tiny bits of paper in the bottom.
“So you’ve had acid before then?” George asked, handing me the bag.
“Nah never mate,” I replied.
“Do you know what lads, maybe you shouldn’t do it tonight, it’s getting late now, its gone two in the morning. It’s too late to be trying acid for the first time.”
“What are you worried about?” Al said. “We’ll be alright.”
“What about if I take that back off you and keep hold of it, then get another tab for myself. I promise next weekend I’ll do it with you. We’ll find somewhere to do it together, where we’ll be safe.”
“We’ll be alright mate, stop worrying,” Al tried to reassure him.
George started the car and we continued on into Kirk-Leigh.
“If you’re sure, just look after each other yeah,” George said. “By the way, I don’t know where either of you live. You’ll have to give me directions.”
“We’re not going home,” Al said.
“Why not?”
“We both still live at home with our parents,” I said.
“Where are you going then?”
Al looked at me again. “The church?”
“The church? You’re going to try acid for the first time in a church?”
“Yeah, the church,” I said.
“Will you even be able to get in the church at this time?”
“Dunno,” Al replied. “If not we’ll just sit it out in the graveyard.”
“No seriously lads, I’m really not sure about this. I think you two would be better off just going home.”
Al hunched his shoulders up in the front seat. “For fuck’s sake George, stop worrying about us.”
Reluctantly he dropped us off where you turned in towards the church from the main road.
After walking the unlit gravel drive to the church itself, Al and I took shelter in the front porch where we found candles to free us from the dark. With the porch doors shut behind us we couldn’t be seen from outside. I did contemplate going into the church itself, but with all the windows there was a good chance we’d get caught.
We put the tiny sheets of paper under our tongues.
Whenever I’d imagined taking LSD, I’d always pictured myself struggling to actually do it. Ecstasy did a great job of removing any fear from the mind, and we set off for a slow walk around the graveyard.
It took a minute for my eyes to adjust again to the dark outside. To begin with we walked slowly, following the sound underfoot of the gravel path that plotted the circumference of the church itself. Halfway around I began to see the detail of what surrounded us. Rows of gravestones littered the grass; in different shapes- round edged and squared off; some standing straight and proud while others leaned at unnatural angles. I found one with a stone angel perched on top and went in close to try to read what was inscribed on it. With only the light from the moon, and a carefully chosen handful of stars where the clouds were chasing the breeze, it was impossible to make out the writing. Running my fingers across the cold textured headstone revealed G-O-N-E.... B-U-T.... N-E-V.... before Al interrupted me.
“I don’t think I can stay here Lu,” he said. “I need to be doing something when this acid kicks in. I’m thinking maybe this ain’t the right place to have done it.”
“You’re alright mate,” I said. “We’re probably not gonna get anything off it, George did say he’d had it a while. It can’t be that strong anyway; fucking hell you’ve tripped enough times with me before, this can’t be any worse. Come on, we’ll go for a trek.”
I was glad Al was having second thoughts about taking it. If I’m honest I was too. But as long as I could reassure and look after Al then that would mean I must be OK.
“Yeah I’ll be alright. We’ll come back here in twenty minutes and we’ll chill out,” Al said. “I just can’t be here right now.”
We set off back into the village. The church was right at the end of Kirk-Leigh, as far as you could go in that direction before everything turned to green. We walked on the road, nothing else moved at this time of night. We soon passed old Ship’s house; in the front garden was one of his small boats, possibly the one we’d attempted to sail to Haywich.
Al turned to me. “Do you remember that Lu? On our hands and knees on top of the big yellow boat, cleaning the moss off with scouring pads. Seems like fucking ages ago.”
“I know mate, mad ain’t it how quickly things go by.”
We continued up the road. Every so often a PIR light outside a house came on and made us both jump. Eventually we reached the post office which meant we were nearly at my house. I looked at the time on my phone, twenty minutes had passed.
“I’m not getting anything Al, we might as well go home.”
“We need to put the candles out in the porch,” Al reminded me. “Before we burn the church down.”
We didn’t speak on the way back. I think we were both relieved that tonight of all nights wasn’t going to be the mad acid night.
Church Group Page 54
